sticky Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious sticky puns

I got thrown out of math class today.

The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"

Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the answer...


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A sperm was undergoing training for conception

His instructor said, 'When the siren goes off, rush out the tunnel and swim until you find a red sticky ball. Address the ball and say "I'm a sperm" to which the ball will reply "I'm the egg". You will then work together to form the embryo. Do you understand?'

The sperm nodded. Days later, the sperm was sleeping when he heard the siren. He was the first one out of the tunnel and the first to reach the sticky red ball. He was millimeters ahead of all his comrades. He bowed courteously and said: "I'm a sperm".

The red sticky ball smiled and said: "Hi, I'm the tonsil"

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For my birthday, the only thing I got was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I find that very hard to deal with.

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My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."

She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"


I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream while masturbating?"

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What do Spiderman and I have in common?

We both end up with sticky hands after using the web.

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A cowboy and an Indian are riding horseback.

The Indian stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground.

He looks up at the cowboy and says, "Buffalo come".

The cowboy looks around and then back at the Indian. "How the hell do you know that?"

The Indian replied, "Ear sticky".

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Man is like spider...

..bound to have sticky fingers after being on the web

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I recently came into a large sum of money.

Now it's all sticky and no one will accept it.

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A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo...

To help him, he hired a Native American scout.

The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo.

After riding awhile, the scout gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Hmmm, buffalo come."

The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing.

He is confused and says to the scout, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"

The scout replies, "Ear sticky".

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What's brown and sticky?

My Beyonce calendar.

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Two Indians put their ears to the ground........

The first Indian says: "Buffalo come".

The second Indian says: "Buffalo no come".

The first Indian places his ear back on the ground and repeats "Buffalo come".

The second Indian places his ear back on the ground and says "I no hear anything, why you think buffalo come?"

The first Indian replies "Ear sticky".

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The soldier and the indian

A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Humm, buffalo come".

The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"

And the Indian replies, "Ear sticky".

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head Walk into an elevator

The brunette sees something very sticky on the floor and asks "is that sperm?" The red head bends down and smells the stuff and says "it sure smells like cum to me." The blonde kneels down gets a finger full, tastes it and proclaims "It's nobody from this building"

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What's brown and sticky?

My Beyonce calendar.

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A Native American tribe are looking for buffalo to hunt.

As they travel along, one member puts his ear to the ground for a moment and then says: Buffalo come.

The chief asks How can you tell?

The man replies Sticky ear.

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Men are like spiders

We tend to have sticky hands after being on web.

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A buffalo hunter and a Native American guide

One day when they were hunting the guide stopped, put his ear to the ground and listened, then said "Buffalo come"

The hunter asked "How can you tell"

The guide replied "Ear sticky"

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Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use honeycombs!

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Question my sexuality all you want, but I'm warning you...

Guys who rub me the wrong way often find themselves in a very sticky situation.

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A cowboy is riding across the plain one day,

when he sees an Indian chief laying on the ground with his ear pressed firmly to the earth. Never having seen this before, the cowboy says "Hey chief whatcha doin there." The chief in broken english says "Ugg, buffalo come." The cowboy says "That's amazing chief, how can you tell?" The Chief reply's "Ear sticky."

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What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?

Sticky notes.

What did he get from his publisher?

A hard copy.

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Lewis and Clark

Lewis and Clark were walking through Montana when they met an Indian scout who offered to help them hunt buffalo.

The scout took them out in the morning and put his ear to the ground. After a while, he said "Buffalo come."

Lewis asked the scout, "How do you know?"

The scout said, "Face sticky."

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The lone Ranger and Tonto

The lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses when Tonto falls off. He lands in a ditch. The lone Ranger walks up and says "Tonto are you ok"? Tonto puts his ear to the ground and remains quiet. The lone Ranger repeats himself and Tonto quiets him and says "buffalo come" the lone Ranger says " you can tell that by listening to the ground"? Tonto says "no, ground very sticky.

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All I got for Christmas was a pack of sticky cards.

It was difficult to deal with.

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What is the brown sticky stuff between an elephant's toes?

Slow natives.

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The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the prairie. Then Tonto got down from his horse and put his ear to the ground. He looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Buffalo come."
The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, "Wow, that's amazing! How did you figure that out?"

Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Ear sticky!"

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What is brown and sticky?

My BeyoncΓ© calendar

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For my birthday, I got gifted a sticky deck of cards.

I'm having a hard time dealing with it.

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Spiderman:

Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.

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I was watching tv last night...

and one of those ads came on with one of those little black African babies covered in flies. I immediately grabbed the phone and called the number on the screen. I had to have one, they work so much better than those sticky strips that hang from the ceiling.

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I was watching TV last night...

When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".

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Two Men Were Hunting Buffalo

One put his ear to the ground

He lifted his head up and said "Buffalo come"

The other said "How do you know?"

He said "ear sticky"

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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Men are like spiders

Bound to have sticky hands after being on the web

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre.

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An Indian and a cowboy were buffalo hunting together

The Indian suddenly knelt down, pressed his ear against the ground and said "Buffalo come."

The cowboy was amazed by this and asked him "how do you know this?"

The Indian replied: "Sticky."

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A man is like a spider....

when he is on the web, he is bound to get his hands sticky....

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding through the prairie

When all of a sudden Tonto stops and puts his ear to the ground. The Lone Ranger says, "What are you doing Tonto?" Tonto says, Keemosabi, buffalo come!" The Lone Ranger then says, "How can you tell?" Tonto replies, Ear sticky."

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What's brown and sticky?

My poster of Beyonce

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What is sweet and sticky and crosses the desert?

A caramel

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What am I?

I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole in the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in and out of a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind and I return to my original position. Cleaning is normally done after I have finished. What am I? Why, I am your very own toothbrush!

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What's brown and sticky?

My poster of Beyonce.

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My father died recently and I came into a bunch of money. I decided to buy a car and pay cash...

and the man at the dealership asked me, "Why are all these bills so sticky?!"

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Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's red and brown?

It's that bloody stick again!

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A sticky situation

One day, a horse and a rabbit were playing on a farm, when all of a sudden, the horse gets stuck in a giant puddle of mud. Frantically looking for help, the rabbit decides to get the farmer's Mercedes, tie a rope around the horse, and pull him out. Finally, after an hour or so, the rabbit manages to get the horse out of the mud.

The next day, the horse and the rabbit are again playing on the farm, but this time, the rabbit gets stuck in the giant puddle of mud. The rabbit cries to the horse: "Quick! Go get the farmer's Mercedes and pull me out!" But the horse had a better idea.

With a stroke of ingenuity, the horse spreads his legs across the giant puddle (apparently it wasn't so giant) and says to the rabbit: "Grab hold of my dick and I'll" pull you out. Reluctantly, the rabbit obeys, and the horse manages to pull him out.

Moral of the story is, when you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes!

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Some grade school humor

What's brown and sticky?
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A Stick!!

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What's long, brown, and sticky?

A stick

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(Dirty) The cavalry were riding through the plains with their Native American guide.

The Indian gets off his horse and puts his ear to the ground. He looks up at the captain and says " Buffalo come " . The captain is astounded and asks " Can you really hear buffalo from here? The Indian replies "NO, side of face all sticky!"

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A cowboy is riding across the plains when he sees an Indian on his knees with his head on the ground.

The Indian looks up at him and says "Many buffalo come"
The Cowboy asks "Can you hear them?"
Then Indian says " No, ground sticky."

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What's the difference between a piano , tuna and sticky glue?

you can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna

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Started a new job as a delivery man today...

When I got to my first address, there was a little sticky note left on the door saying, "Dear Mr Delivery Man, we're out, please hide in garage."

That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me.

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What do Gay men have in the morning?

Sticky Buns! ;D

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So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it's "cool"

Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?

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A buffalo hunter hired a Native American guide

One day while they were hunting the guide stopped, put his head to the ground and listened, then said "Buffalo Come".

The hunter asked "How can you tell?"

The guide replied, "Ear sticky".

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What is hard when it goes in and soft and sticky when it comes out?

A chewing gum

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What's sticky and charming?

Seduct tape

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So the Lone Ranger and Tonto are being chased by the bad guys...

To see if they're being closed in on Tonto puts his ear to the ground to listen for the sound of horse hooves.

"Kimosabe, no soldiers chasing us, buffalo come."

"How do you know that?"

"Ear sticky."

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A cowboy and an indian are riding a horse

A cowboy and an indian are riding a horse through the middle of the desert. All the sudden the indian tells the cowboy

"Wait, stop!"

The cowboy stops the horse. The indian hops off, puts his ear to the ground and says

"Buffalo come"
The cowboy, shocked, says "Wow! How do you know?!"

The indian looks up at him and says

"'cause ground sticky"

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There's a sticky penis on my doormat...

It must've come in the post.

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Whats brown and sticky?

A stick

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Man is like spider..

.. bound to have sticky hand when on web!

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Whats Brown and Sticky?

Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke.

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains

When Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his ear to the ground.

Lone Ranger waits a few minutes, then asks Tonto, "What is it?"

Tonto said, "Buffalo come."

Lone Ranger asks, "How can you tell?"

Tonto replied, "Ear sticky."

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What is the worst way to find out you just came into money?

via sticky notes

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What's white and sticky?

What's white and sticky and hangs from the clouds?
.
The second coming of the Lord

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What is sticky and quacks?

Duck tape!

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Two Shitty Jokes

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre.

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Some people bring pepper spray for self protection. Others carry a gun.

I bring Goo-Gone for sticky situations.

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Why do bees have sticky hair?

they use honeycombs

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Dildos are like Pokemon cards...

No matter how good your collection, it isn't worth anything if you got them sticky.

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What is brown and sticky?

Michael J Fox opening a can of coke

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Whats brown and sticky?

My poster of rihanna.

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What's the worst part about viewing porn on a windows computer?

The sticky keys.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr Dre.

Whats brown and sticky?
A stick.

Whats dark and shitty?
My sense of humor.

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[NSFW] My priest told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked, "Why?"

He told me, "The confessional is getting all sticky."

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I'm going to write a book about adhesives.

It's going to be a griping tale about bonding, attachments, and a few sticky situations.

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I ran out of kleenex

So I have been masturbating into dollar bills.

I guess you could say my financial situation is a little sticky.

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A little old lady told me this at work.

Who is the most popular male at a nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and 12 donuts.

And the most popular woman?

The lady that can eat the last donut without getting her hands sticky.

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What is long, hard and leaves a warm, white, sticky substance in your mouth?

Toothbrush.

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What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?

Koala vomit

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An Indian tracker puts his ear to the ground

And says "buffalo come." Amazed, his clients ask how he knows. He rubs his ear and says "hmm sticky."

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Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

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If I had a nickel every time I masterbated...

I'd have a jar of sticky nickels.

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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What's brown and sticky?

My steering wheel

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Cowboy and an Indian tracker.

A cowboy and an Indian tracker were walking trough the plains. the Indian tracker puts his ear to the ground and says "Buffalo come." The cowboy is shocked and says "Wow, all you did was put your ear to the ground, how do you know that?" The Indian tracker replies "Ear sticky."

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What does weed and your girlfriend have in common?

They both leave me sticky fingers. [7]

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What would happen if Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth got into a smackdown?

It would be a sticky situation!

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What's brown and sticky

My Beyonce poster

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Hands sticky and tingling he kept on. Still sucking and licking he tilted his head back as he had it thrust into his mouth letting the sticky juices flow down his throat.

Grape was his favourite flavour and this was his favourite popsicle.

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Whats brown, long and sticky?

A stick.

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Indian Instincts

There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come."
"How do you know?"
"Ground shaky."
The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens.
"Man come."
"Is there a vibration?"
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
"Ground sticky."

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What's white, sticky, and falls from the sky?

Jesus Christ's Second Cumming

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What's similar between watching porn and hitting shift 5 times?

You get sticky keys either way.

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A collection of puns in one text.

[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]

Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.

Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.

Friend: *turns off phone*

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What is Brown and Sticky

A stick

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What do you call a horse in a sticky situation?

Glue.

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What's brown and sticky?

My car, I lied about the colour, oh, and the sticky bit.

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Men are like spiders...

bound to have sticky fingers after going on web.

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How could the novelist remember his first experience of an orgasm?

He titled it 'A Sticky Note'.

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What do creepy men and spiders have in common?

They both have sticky hands after being on the web for awhile.

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Women are like ice cream..

They're cold at first, if you keep them warm they melt, then they get fucking sticky.

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What is white, sticky & fell from the sky?

The Coming of the Lord.


I'll see myself to hell now.

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Why did the spider become a forum admin?

So he could make a sticky thread.

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What is something that is brown and sticky?

A stick.

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What's Brown and Sticky

A stick

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What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.

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Any love for a dry sense of humor?

This was my grandpas all time favorite joke of all time, and when he would tell it he would laugh uncontrollably for a solid 2 minutes.

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!

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Did you hear about the new fashion trend of sticky clothing?

Its popular, but its really hard to pull off.

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My keyboard is such a freak

I fingered the shift key 5 times and gave it sticky keys.

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Did you hear about the hipster with sticky hands?

He tried to pick up an ice lolly before it was cool

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What do you call it when you write something with your semen?

A sticky note

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What is a stationary set's favourite dessert?

Sticky tape pudding

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick you sick fuck.

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What's brown and sticky?... a stick. What's brown and runny?...

Usain Bolt

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I like my women like I like my Pokemon Cards

Sticky

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The sticky note kept insisting to go on vacation with me.

I put him on board.

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What are your best corny jokes?

I want them all!

"What's brown and sticky?"

"A stick."

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What's brown, long, and sticky?

A stick.

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What is hard going in and soft and sticky coming out?

Chewing gum.

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what's brown and sticky

A stick

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Men are like spiders

Bound to have sticky fingers after going on web.

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Spiderman

Spiderman isn't the only person who gets his hands sticky when using the web...

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What's brown and sticky?

My Rhianna poster

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Indians and Buffalo

There was a cowboy and an Indian riding through the desert, when the Indian stopped suddenly and put his ear to the ground. The cowboy stopped and asked, What is it?

The Indian replied, Buffalo come.

Wow, said the cowboy, how did you know?

The Indian replied, Sticky ear.

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Making Maple Syrup

Is a sticky business

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Ever heard of the journalist who masturbated on all his papers?

Now he's just got a room full of sticky notes

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What goes in hard but comes out soft and sticky?

Gum

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What do you call something brown and sticky?

A stick.
I'll see myself out.

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What is brown and sticky?

A stick!

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Whats brown and sticky

A stick

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What is brown, and sticky?

A stick.

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What's black, white, and sticky?

...the maids face after my wife leaves.

I'll see myself out :)

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What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!

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Life is like a box of chocolates...

If you end up with brown sticky fingers, you're doing it wrong.

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The Long Ranger and Tonto are hunting for buffalo

The Long Ranger and Tonto are riding the plains, hunting buffalo. Tonto stops suddenly, jumps down from his horse, and puts his ear the the ground.

Tonto exclaims, "Buffalo come!"

The Long Rangers says "Wow, how do you know?"

Tonto replies, "Ear sticky."

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What's brown and sticky?

The remains of an overused punchline

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What's brown and sticky

A stick :^)

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A scientist is sat at the bar when a scruffy hobo sits down next to him...

"Hey buddy, are you that scientist feller?"

"... Yes I am. Is there something I can do for you?"

The hobo pulls something out of his pocket.

"I've found this marvelous material that's tough like plastic, stretchy like rubber and sticky like glue."

He hands it to the scientist.

"Why, yes!" says the scientist "This is quite a remarkable material. Wherever did you find it?"

"My nose."

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So I've been cutting fiber out of my diet recently...

It's kind of been a sticky shituation.

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What's brown and NOT sticky..?

A Stick.

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What's brown and sticky?

a stick

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How are Elmer's Glue and a Preist's cum similar?

White, sticky, and kids eat it.

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Did I tell you about the time I got beaten by two guys with sticks?

It was a sticky situation.

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What's brown and sticky?

A stick

What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg?

A homesick poo.

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I got that stupid "Do you want to turn on sticky keys" pop-up again.

I clicked Yes and it brought me straight to XHamster

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I have a lot in common with Spiderman

I too end up with sticky hands after using the web.

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Did you hear about the journalists who masturbated on his papers?

He just got a room full of sticky notes

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What are the best Sticky puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Sticky? Well, here are the best jokes about Sticky to have fun with.

Joko Jokes