The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"
Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the answer...
His instructor said, 'When the siren goes off, rush out the tunnel and swim until you find a red sticky ball. Address the ball and say "I'm a sperm" to which the ball will reply "I'm the egg". You will then work together to form the embryo. Do you understand?'
The sperm nodded. Days later, the sperm was sleeping when he heard the siren. He was the first one out of the tunnel and the first to reach the sticky red ball. He was millimeters ahead of all his comrades. He bowed courteously and said: "I'm a sperm".
The red sticky ball smiled and said: "Hi, I'm the tonsil"
I find that very hard to deal with.
I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."
She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"
I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream while masturbating?"
We both end up with sticky hands after using the web.
The Indian stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground.
He looks up at the cowboy and says, "Buffalo come".
The cowboy looks around and then back at the Indian. "How the hell do you know that?"
The Indian replied, "Ear sticky".
..bound to have sticky fingers after being on the web
Now it's all sticky and no one will accept it.
To help him, he hired a Native American scout.
The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo.
After riding awhile, the scout gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Hmmm, buffalo come."
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing.
He is confused and says to the scout, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"
The scout replies, "Ear sticky".
My Beyonce calendar.
The first Indian says: "Buffalo come".
The second Indian says: "Buffalo no come".
The first Indian places his ear back on the ground and repeats "Buffalo come".
The second Indian places his ear back on the ground and says "I no hear anything, why you think buffalo come?"
The first Indian replies "Ear sticky".
A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Humm, buffalo come".
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"
And the Indian replies, "Ear sticky".
The brunette sees something very sticky on the floor and asks "is that sperm?" The red head bends down and smells the stuff and says "it sure smells like cum to me." The blonde kneels down gets a finger full, tastes it and proclaims "It's nobody from this building"
My Beyonce calendar.
As they travel along, one member puts his ear to the ground for a moment and then says: Buffalo come.
The chief asks How can you tell?
The man replies Sticky ear.
We tend to have sticky hands after being on web.
One day when they were hunting the guide stopped, put his ear to the ground and listened, then said "Buffalo come"
The hunter asked "How can you tell"
The guide replied "Ear sticky"
They use honeycombs!
Guys who rub me the wrong way often find themselves in a very sticky situation.
when he sees an Indian chief laying on the ground with his ear pressed firmly to the earth. Never having seen this before, the cowboy says "Hey chief whatcha doin there." The chief in broken english says "Ugg, buffalo come." The cowboy says "That's amazing chief, how can you tell?" The Chief reply's "Ear sticky."
Sticky notes.
What did he get from his publisher?
A hard copy.
Lewis and Clark were walking through Montana when they met an Indian scout who offered to help them hunt buffalo.
The scout took them out in the morning and put his ear to the ground. After a while, he said "Buffalo come."
Lewis asked the scout, "How do you know?"
The scout said, "Face sticky."
The lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses when Tonto falls off. He lands in a ditch. The lone Ranger walks up and says "Tonto are you ok"? Tonto puts his ear to the ground and remains quiet. The lone Ranger repeats himself and Tonto quiets him and says "buffalo come" the lone Ranger says " you can tell that by listening to the ground"? Tonto says "no, ground very sticky.
It was difficult to deal with.
Slow natives.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the prairie. Then Tonto got down from his horse and put his ear to the ground. He looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Buffalo come."
The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, "Wow, that's amazing! How did you figure that out?"
Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Ear sticky!"
My Beyoncé calendar
I'm having a hard time dealing with it.
Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.
and one of those ads came on with one of those little black African babies covered in flies. I immediately grabbed the phone and called the number on the screen. I had to have one, they work so much better than those sticky strips that hang from the ceiling.
When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".
One put his ear to the ground
He lifted his head up and said "Buffalo come"
The other said "How do you know?"
He said "ear sticky"
A stick.
Bound to have sticky hands after being on the web
A stick.
What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.
The Indian suddenly knelt down, pressed his ear against the ground and said "Buffalo come."
The cowboy was amazed by this and asked him "how do you know this?"
The Indian replied: "Sticky."
when he is on the web, he is bound to get his hands sticky....
When all of a sudden Tonto stops and puts his ear to the ground. The Lone Ranger says, "What are you doing Tonto?" Tonto says, Keemosabi, buffalo come!" The Lone Ranger then says, "How can you tell?" Tonto replies, Ear sticky."
My poster of Beyonce
A caramel
I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole in the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in and out of a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind and I return to my original position. Cleaning is normally done after I have finished. What am I? Why, I am your very own toothbrush!
My poster of Beyonce.
and the man at the dealership asked me, "Why are all these bills so sticky?!"
Because they use honeycombs
A stick.
What's red and brown?
It's that bloody stick again!
One day, a horse and a rabbit were playing on a farm, when all of a sudden, the horse gets stuck in a giant puddle of mud. Frantically looking for help, the rabbit decides to get the farmer's Mercedes, tie a rope around the horse, and pull him out. Finally, after an hour or so, the rabbit manages to get the horse out of the mud.
The next day, the horse and the rabbit are again playing on the farm, but this time, the rabbit gets stuck in the giant puddle of mud. The rabbit cries to the horse: "Quick! Go get the farmer's Mercedes and pull me out!" But the horse had a better idea.
With a stroke of ingenuity, the horse spreads his legs across the giant puddle (apparently it wasn't so giant) and says to the rabbit: "Grab hold of my dick and I'll" pull you out. Reluctantly, the rabbit obeys, and the horse manages to pull him out.
Moral of the story is, when you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes!
What's brown and sticky?
*
**
***
****
***
**
*
A Stick!!
A stick
The Indian gets off his horse and puts his ear to the ground. He looks up at the captain and says " Buffalo come " . The captain is astounded and asks " Can you really hear buffalo from here? The Indian replies "NO, side of face all sticky!"
The Indian looks up at him and says "Many buffalo come"
The Cowboy asks "Can you hear them?"
Then Indian says " No, ground sticky."
you can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna
When I got to my first address, there was a little sticky note left on the door saying, "Dear Mr Delivery Man, we're out, please hide in garage."
That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me.
Sticky Buns! ;D
Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?
One day while they were hunting the guide stopped, put his head to the ground and listened, then said "Buffalo Come".
The hunter asked "How can you tell?"
The guide replied, "Ear sticky".
A chewing gum
Seduct tape
To see if they're being closed in on Tonto puts his ear to the ground to listen for the sound of horse hooves.
"Kimosabe, no soldiers chasing us, buffalo come."
"How do you know that?"
"Ear sticky."
A cowboy and an indian are riding a horse through the middle of the desert. All the sudden the indian tells the cowboy
"Wait, stop!"
The cowboy stops the horse. The indian hops off, puts his ear to the ground and says
"Buffalo come"
The cowboy, shocked, says "Wow! How do you know?!"
The indian looks up at him and says
"'cause ground sticky"
It must've come in the post.
A stick
.. bound to have sticky hand when on web!
Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke.
A stick.
When Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his ear to the ground.
Lone Ranger waits a few minutes, then asks Tonto, "What is it?"
Tonto said, "Buffalo come."
Lone Ranger asks, "How can you tell?"
Tonto replied, "Ear sticky."
via sticky notes
What's white and sticky and hangs from the clouds?
.
The second coming of the Lord
Duck tape!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.
I bring Goo-Gone for sticky situations.
they use honeycombs
No matter how good your collection, it isn't worth anything if you got them sticky.
Michael J Fox opening a can of coke
My poster of rihanna.
The sticky keys.
Dr Dre.
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick.
Whats dark and shitty?
My sense of humor.
He told me, "The confessional is getting all sticky."
It's going to be a griping tale about bonding, attachments, and a few sticky situations.
So I have been masturbating into dollar bills.
I guess you could say my financial situation is a little sticky.
Who is the most popular male at a nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and 12 donuts.
And the most popular woman?
The lady that can eat the last donut without getting her hands sticky.
Toothbrush.
Koala vomit
And says "buffalo come." Amazed, his clients ask how he knows. He rubs his ear and says "hmm sticky."
Try to disable sticky keys.
I'd have a jar of sticky nickels.
A stick.
My steering wheel
A cowboy and an Indian tracker were walking trough the plains. the Indian tracker puts his ear to the ground and says "Buffalo come." The cowboy is shocked and says "Wow, all you did was put your ear to the ground, how do you know that?" The Indian tracker replies "Ear sticky."
They both leave me sticky fingers. [7]
It would be a sticky situation!
My Beyonce poster
Grape was his favourite flavour and this was his favourite popsicle.
A stick.
There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come."
"How do you know?"
"Ground shaky."
The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens.
"Man come."
"Is there a vibration?"
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
"Ground sticky."
Jesus Christ's Second Cumming
You get sticky keys either way.
[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]
Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.
Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.
Friend: *turns off phone*
A stick
Glue.
My car, I lied about the colour, oh, and the sticky bit.
bound to have sticky fingers after going on web.
He titled it 'A Sticky Note'.
They both have sticky hands after being on the web for awhile.
They're cold at first, if you keep them warm they melt, then they get fucking sticky.
The Coming of the Lord.
I'll see myself to hell now.
So he could make a sticky thread.
A stick.
A stick
A sticky Wicket.
This was my grandpas all time favorite joke of all time, and when he would tell it he would laugh uncontrollably for a solid 2 minutes.
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick!
Its popular, but its really hard to pull off.
I fingered the shift key 5 times and gave it sticky keys.
He tried to pick up an ice lolly before it was cool
A sticky note
Sticky tape pudding
A stick you sick fuck.
Usain Bolt
Sticky
I put him on board.
I want them all!
"What's brown and sticky?"
"A stick."
A stick.
Chewing gum.
A stick
Bound to have sticky fingers after going on web.
Spiderman isn't the only person who gets his hands sticky when using the web...
My Rhianna poster
There was a cowboy and an Indian riding through the desert, when the Indian stopped suddenly and put his ear to the ground. The cowboy stopped and asked, What is it?
The Indian replied, Buffalo come.
Wow, said the cowboy, how did you know?
The Indian replied, Sticky ear.
Is a sticky business
Now he's just got a room full of sticky notes
Gum
A stick.
I'll see myself out.
A stick!
A stick
A stick.
...the maids face after my wife leaves.
I'll see myself out :)
Chocolate Ice Cream in July!
If you end up with brown sticky fingers, you're doing it wrong.
The Long Ranger and Tonto are riding the plains, hunting buffalo. Tonto stops suddenly, jumps down from his horse, and puts his ear the the ground.
Tonto exclaims, "Buffalo come!"
The Long Rangers says "Wow, how do you know?"
Tonto replies, "Ear sticky."
The remains of an overused punchline
A stick :^)
"Hey buddy, are you that scientist feller?"
"... Yes I am. Is there something I can do for you?"
The hobo pulls something out of his pocket.
"I've found this marvelous material that's tough like plastic, stretchy like rubber and sticky like glue."
He hands it to the scientist.
"Why, yes!" says the scientist "This is quite a remarkable material. Wherever did you find it?"
"My nose."
It's kind of been a sticky shituation.
A Stick.
a stick
White, sticky, and kids eat it.
It was a sticky situation.
A stick
What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg?
A homesick poo.
I clicked Yes and it brought me straight to XHamster
I too end up with sticky hands after using the web.
He just got a room full of sticky notes
Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Sticky? Well, here are the best jokes about Sticky to have fun with.