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Stick People Jokes

67 stick people jokes and hilarious stick people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stick people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Stick People Short Jokes

Short stick people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stick people humour may include short stick man jokes also.

  1. For those people who still carry their selfie stick with them on their travels, I have one thing to say. I hope you take a long hard look at yourself.
  2. How is a piano like a stick shift? They both have three pedals, and most people only know what two of them do.
  3. Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
  4. My dwarf friend was permanently banned from the nudist colony. He kept sticking his nose in other people's business.
  5. People say sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you. Unless you live in Skyrim where words can kill you
  6. People have been criticizing me because I put glue on my hands before handling my weapons But sometimes one just needs to stick to their guns
  7. I was cleaning out my garage and couldn't find my limbo stick. I thinknit was stolen How low will people go?!?!
  8. A lot of people don't know how to drive stick shift these days They keep making mistakes while shifting, it really grinds some gears
  9. Sometimes I sit next to random people on the train,strike up a casual conversation then, when the train stops i say "this is where i get off" Then I stick my hand down my pants.
  10. Is it fair to say... There'd be less litter in the world if blind people were given pointed sticks?

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Stick People One Liners

Which stick people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stick people? I can suggest the ones about stick and poke and stick figure.

  1. People are like drum... If you hit them with a stick, they will make noise.
  2. People who use Selfie Sticks..... Really need to take a good long look at themselves!
  3. People who use selfie sticks...... Need to have a good, long look at themselves
  4. You should date people that wear velcro shoes They're more likely to stick around.
  5. Lots of people don't like my clown baton But I think it's ma jest stick.
  6. Friend Quit Smoking Drinking and Non Vegan Food He now sticks only to Judging People
  7. Why do black people stick together? Because they are all drinking the kool-aid.
  8. Why are stick people extinct? Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.
  9. Sticking Peoples Finger in Our Mouth PRANK!!

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about stick people can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of stick people puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Stick People Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about stick people you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean stick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make stick people prank.

It is a normal drill day at the Marine base in Virginia.
The whole regiment is lined up in formation, and the colonel is walking around inspecting people.
There are rows of marines stacked behind one another waiting to be inspected.
The colonel gets to the first squad leader, stands in front of him and punches him in the stomach the hardest he can.
After about a minute, the squad leader catches his breath.
The colonel bellows, "DID THAT HURT SOLDIER?"
Then the soldier says "NO, SIR."
The colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?"
Then the soldier says, "BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!"
The colonel gets up to the second squad leader, stands in front of him, and kicks him in the kneecap.
After about a minute when the soldier is finally standing, the colonel hollers,
"DID THAT HURT?"
The soldier responds, "NO, SIR."
And the colonel says "WHY NOT?"
Then the soldier shouts, "BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!"
The colonel gets up to the third squad leader.
He notices that there is an e**... between his legs.
The colonel takes a stick from the floor, and whacks the e**... with it.
The man barely makes a sound.
The colonel asks him "DID THAT HURT?"
And the soldier says "NO, SIR."
Then the colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?"
Then the soldier points at the man standing behind him and says, "BECASUE IT WAS HIS."

A helicopter flying over Seattle,with all communication devices down.because of the fog and rain he lost his position.

Desperate the pilot writes on a piece of paper "Where am I?" and sticks it on the windshield. He sees a tall building and surrounds it. The people inside see the note and hurry to help the pilot and they write on the window: " You're inside a helicopter ". The pilot makes a loop and safely lands. Everybody is astonished and ask him how did he do it? He said when he saw the message on the window he immediate knew his position; he realized the tall building was Microsoft because their answers are always technically correct but completely useless

Car Keys

Tom and Barney got out and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key from the ignition.
Realizing their mistake, Tom asked, "Why don't we use a coat hanger to open it?"
"No, that won't work," answered Barney. "People will think we're trying to break in."
So Tom suggested, "What if we use a pocketknife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in, and pull up the lock?"
"No," said Barney. "People will think we're too dumb to use a coat hanger."
"Well," sighed Tom, "we'd better thing of something quick. It's starting to rain, and the sun roof is open!"

An American decides to get rich quick...

By suing bus companies. So, he goes to a bus station, and when the bus arrives he sticks his leg out so it gets runs over. He spends 6 weeks in hospital and is given $10,000 in reparations. When he gets out, he goes to a different state and does the same thing, but this time with the other leg. This time he spends 8 weeks in hospital and gets $20,000 in reparations. When he gets out, he decides that people in the US will get suspicious if he keeps getting run over, so he travels to England. There he goes to the first bus stop he can find, sticks his leg out, and dies of pneumonia.

A Cab Driver and a Priest

A Cab Driver and a Priest are going to Heaven. The Cab Driver steps up to St. Peter, states his name and how he died. St. Peter checks him off the lists, and turns around. He grabs a beautiful silken robe, and a golden staff encrusted in jewels, before turning back around. "Here, enjoy Heaven."
The Cab Driver walks away as the Priest steps up to state his name and how he died. St. Peter grabs a Burlap Sack and a Wooden Stick.
"Wait, wait, wait a minute." The Priest argues. "I've been a man of God all my life. How did the Cab Driver get more than me?"
"Well," St. Peter replied. "When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

A platoon of soldiers is overseas fighting the battle of a lifetime

when all of the sudden, Private Smith runs out of ammo. He yells over for his Sergeant for some more, when the Sergeant throws him a stick. "What am I supposed to do with this?!" Smith yells angrily. In a joking manner, the Sergeant replies "Point it at the enemy, and yell BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!!!
Private Smith mutters "You've gotta be kidding" but just to prove his Sergeant is an idiot, he does it. An enemy soldier comes up, he points the stick at him and yells BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY. Enemy dies. Smith thinks "There's no way that worked, someone else must have shot him, let me try it again." BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY! Another soldier goes down. Bewildered, he does it again, and again, with great success. Private Smith kills many people in this manner, and he begins to get very c**....
His platoon is patrolling a rural road, when they get ambushed, and Private Smith knows that to do. BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!!! BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY! BANGITY BANGITY BANGI-AAAAGGGHHHH! He starts writhing on the ground in immense pain. His Sergeant pulls him to safety and asks whats wrong. Smith replies "Somebody yelled tankity tankity tankity"

"Seven!" "Seven!" "Seven!"

A man was walking along, when he came upon a a property with a plank fence surrounding it. He hears people inside chanting the number seven over and over again. He doesn't know much about this property, except that a cult meets there, he can't see through the fence, and he's always been curious about it. When he hears "Seven!" "Seven!" "Seven!" he can't help himself, he peeks through a hole in one of the planks. Someone promptly pokes him in the eye with a stick. They begin chanting "Eight!" "Eight!" "Eight!"

"I can bite my eye..."

A young man is sitting with his elderly grandfather:
Young man: Grandpa, tell me more about you. We seldom have time to talk.
Grandfather: Well... I can bite my eye...
Young man: Wha? How?
Grandfather proceeds to remove a glass eye and stick it in his mouth to bite it.
Young man: Nice Grandpa. But really I... (Grandfather interrupts)
Grandfather: I can bite my other eye too.
Young man: But how? I know you aren't blind...
Grandfather pulls out his teeth...
Context: My grandfather recently passed away and this was a joke he would tell. He lost one of his eyes as a young adult and loved to pull his eye out for people. This joke was shared at his wake.

Slamming the door

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result-the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might need to move your cat."

I'm sick to death of c**... dealers...

always sticking their business in other people's nose.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why aren't dwarves allowed at nudist camps?

They allways stick their nose in other people's business.

Two people meet in a nursing home.

A 95 year old man meets a 90 year old lady in a nursing home. They start talking and eventually become close friends. They realize that s**... for them probably isn't going to be possible so he asks her if she'll at least stick her hand in his pants and hold it.
So for a few months she'll stick her hand in his pants and hold it for him. They're both happy.
Then one day, she can't find him and she gets a little worried thinking maybe something happened to the old guy. She wanders outside and sees him on a park bench with another woman, and that woman has her hand in his pants! She approaches them and angrily tells him she thought they had something special and asks what the other woman has that she doesn't.
He answers, Parkinson's.

Doesn't it concern you that stick bugs are way more complex than stick people?

They're on a whole other dimension

Insane Asylum

A man was walking down the street next to the Insane Aslyum.
As he was walking he heard voices over the wall chanting 21. Curiosity took over and he found a hole in the wall and looked through it.
When he looked all the sudden a stick poked him in the eye and the people behind the wall started chanting 22.

Why did the midget get kicked off a n**... beach?

People got seriously annoyed with him sticking his nose into everybody's business.

It's annoying being a plastic surgeon...

People keep sticking their noses into my business

ALL THE g**... ON AN ISLAND

My brother hates gay people -- hates us. 'We should take all you g**... and stick you on an island.' 'Well they have, Frank. We call it Manhattan.'

What's the difference between a Piano, a Tuna, and a tub of Glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna. As for the glue... well I knew you'd get stuck on that one.
This joke might seem a little fishy, but I find it key to tell a joke that can really stick with people.

I was walking by a mental institution on my way to work

And in the yard behind the fence, I heard people shouting "four, four, four...". I was curious so I peeked through the wood planks to see what was happening. Someone jabbed a stick in my eye and then everyone started shouting "five, five, five...".

USPS releases a stamp with Trump's picture

The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.

The US Postal service released a new stamp with a picture of Donald Trump on it, however the new stamp isn't sticking to envelopes. The POTUS got an investigation underway.

Investigation outcome:
There's nothing wrong with the stamp.
People are spitting on the wrong side.

Another Blonde Joke

Two blondes stood by a car in which they had accidentally locked the key.
We need to get in there, says the first blonde. Why don't we use a coat hanger to slide the lock open?
No, says the second. People'd think we're trying to steal the car.
I have a pair of scissors, says the first. We could use it to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock."
No, they'd just say we're too s**... to use a coat hanger.
Well, we'd better think of something fast, sighed the first blonde. It's starting to rain and all the car windows are open.

How do people from fake African nations play Limbo?

Same as everyone else, they Wakanda the stick.

My grandfather, who served in Vietnam, asked me what sticks to young and old people alike:

Apparently n**... wasn't the answer.

The US postal service releases a stamp of Donald Trump

After sometime, reports start to come in that the stamp was not sticking. Infuriated that his own stamps were not working, Trump conducted a $1,300,000 investigation to find out what happened. After eliminating all of the possibilities, they observe the post office to see if the fault was on the consumers end. They soon found out that people were spitting on the wrong side.

A man is yelling "People, listen to me! I am the son of Satan!" out of the window of a mental asylum.

Another one sticks his head out and yells:
"Don't listen to him, he's a maniac! I don't have a son!"

My c**... dealer is a bit over inquisitive.

He's always sticking his business in other people's noses.

I hate it when people lie to me and cant stick to their story.

One minute your saying your Christian, the next your saying your name is actually Janice!

The police tried to arrest me recently for selling people fake glue...

Good luck getting that to stick.

My Jobs—

I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn't stick with it. I tried my hand at a career in tennis, but it wasn't my racket—I was too high strung. I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way. I got a job at a pool company, but the work was too draining. I was a historian, but I couldn't see a future in it. I took a job as an elevator operator—the job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft. I took a job at UPS, but I couldn't express myself. I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.
This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.

After months of testing, costing $2.65 billion in congressional spending and firing of 25+ people, the special prosecutor appointed by Trump presented the following findings.
* The stamps have no manufacturing defects.
* There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
* People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

People tell me I'm s**... for cleaning my firearms with honey.

But I'm sticking to my guns.

A man is walking besides the insane asylum

When he hears a commotion coming over the fence. The people inside the asylum are chanting
FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE...
He notices a small hole on the wall and curiously peeks inside to see what's going on.
Someone pokes him in the eye with a stick. And then he hears chanting
SIX, SIX, SIX...

A man realized he needed to pu...

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."

Guy dies and goes to h**....

Satan meets him and tells him he's got to pick between 2 rooms. They go into the first room, and it's full of people standing on their heads on a marble floor. He takes him to the second room, and it's full of people sitting in an 18-inch deep layer of s**..., drinking coffee. Guy figures that he likes coffee, and he'll get used to the smell, so he chooses the second room. He gets a cup of coffee, sits down and takes a sip. At that moment, Satan sticks his head back in the room and calls out Ok, everybody. Coffee break's over. Back on your heads!

A joke in Arabic

Let's hope this translation works.
A guy who was wasted went to take a p**... in an ally next to a barrel, passed out fell in the barrel pants down, a**... in the air.
A guy who was super high passed by and saw the a**... .. picked a stick and shoved it up the drunk's a**..., the drunk screams.
*No wonder why people are becoming so spoiled this a**... works fine and they throw it in the trash*

Curiosity killed the cat

One day I was walking by a tall fence. On the other side I could hear a group of people chanting, "12! 12! 12! 12!" Confused, I tried to jump up and see over the fence, to see what's going on but the fence was too tall. A little further up, I saw a small hole in the fence. I walked up to it and peeked through. As soon as I looked, I was poked in the eye by a stick. They all started chanting, "13! 13! 13! 13!"

A married couple were walking through a garden

when suddenly a dog ran towards them.
They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart.
The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little and ran away.
The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.
But his wife shouted, I've seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, this is the first time I see someone trying to throw his wife at a dog
Moral : No one else can misunderstand a Husband better than a Wife

A lot of guys struggle to add muscle

Take my cousin, for example. He has a very strict diet and always sticks to his regimen. He never skips a day. The dude is still a skeleton, basically. Some people just struggle to add weight. Granted, his regimen mostly includes h**..., but still.

jokes about stick people

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these stick people jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.