Following is our collection of Stick jokes which are very funny. There are some stick nonstick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stick finger puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
but there are no women on the ship and being male,he had some...urges, so he asked the captain " arr its been 6 months since we've had a lass on the ship and some of the others are getting urges. what can we do about them??" and the captain responds" go down to the front of the ship and there will be a barrel, stick your privates in there and go at it." so he did as he was told and when he was done he came back. he told the captain " captain! that was great! how many times can i use it????" and the captain turned to him and said " every day except thursday." and the pirate asked " why?" the captain responded " aye, because thats your turn to be in the barrel."
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."
"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."
A stick.
What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.
A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning.
The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, "The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."
The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. "We're flying over Paris! I could feel the Eiffel Tower!"
The Englishman is next. He sticks his hand outside and draws it back in a minute later. "I just touched Big Ben! We are just over London!"
Finally, it is the American's turn. He shoves his hand outside the plane and brings it back in immediately. "We're flying over Detroit. I know because my watch just got stolen."
Sometimes all the good ones are taken, so you have to stick it in a disabled one.
A stick
You add a dab of glue.
One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."
My wife ran off with my best friend...
Now, when I throw the stick, it just lays there.
A stick.
The doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."
The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.
"No! No! Don't take off your clothes. Just stick out your tongue!"
You can explore stick poke reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stick nostril dad jokes. There are also stick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A stick.
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!
Because he hated Stalin
She's still not talking to me :(
but he walked away like he didn't even see me.
Dragon drop
All the good ones are gone, so every now and then when no one is looking, you stick it in a disabled one.
But I couldn't find a manual.
Walking past a lunatic asylum , and I could hear the inmates shouting 13, 13, 13, 13, curiosity got the better of me but the walls were too tall to see over .all the time they kept on shouting 13, 13, 13, finally I found a hole in the wall so I took a peep and some fool poked me in the eye with a stick and then they started shouting 14, 14, 14, 14,
He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas genitals and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back.
A cop pulls him over and asks for his information.
"Sir, you just drove through that intersection without stopping."
"Aww come on, it's not a big deal..I slowed down!"
The officer steps back, looking down at his feet, all of a sudden he pulls out his night stick and starts beating the man.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!" The man screams.
"Would you like me to slow down, or stop?"
They are completely harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light them on fire.
velcrows
I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best.
Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.
Apparently in her roommate is NOT one of the options
AcCOUNTing
This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .
molasses."
That just seems a little far fetched to me.
Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.
Autistic
They both let me stick it in only one place.
The whole is really deep. It's huge and dark and seems bottomless, so the man decides to see how deep.
He throws in a pebble and listens, but it doesn't make a sound.
He throws in a big stick; still no sound
He throws in a huge tree stump he prised up out of the ground; nothing
Suddenly, a dog comes running by and jumps straight into the hole at alarming speed.
The man stares into the hole, dumbfounded, when another man walks by and asks "have you seen my dog?"
"Yeah" he replies, "he just jumped in this hole"
"That's funny" the other man replies, "I had him tied to a tree stump"
My sex life is like finding a parking spot in town.
All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one.
He was looking for Pooh.
-
*My little brother told me this one; hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*
Because I want to take off your top and stick my junk in you.
I accidentally gave her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Seems pretty far fetched to me.
And in the yard behind the fence, I heard people shouting "four, four, four...". I was curious so I peeked through the wood planks to see what was happening. Someone jabbed a stick in my eye and then everyone started shouting "five, five, five...".
"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.
"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."
"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.
"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.
"But don't they just fall off?"
"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."
They aren't dangerous until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.
But it takes some guts to stick.
one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.
Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."
Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says
"JOE THATS A NON STICK PAN"
I would have to choose Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a stick with a gold medal tied to it.
I was in the park the other day and saw a guy practising his athletic trials, with a long metal stick for the Olympics. I asked if he was a pole vaulter, and he replied "Nein, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"
Velcrows
The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom'
I can barely walk, but when I fart the room smells wonderful
If you hit them with a stick, they will make noise.
Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.
- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.
Usually, most of the good ones are taken....
So once in a while, you gotta stick it in a disabled one
I questioned it at first, but I decided to stick to my guns.
Bam! *Boo*!
I guess you could say I have a pretty sharp memory.
Maybe I won't stick with this one either.
Stick with me and we'll go places.
My girlfriend's pregnant and she thinks I'm going to stick around.
Then I wait at a green light to make me feel good about myself.
Normally, the good ones are taken so occasionally, when nobody is looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".
I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I fart, the room smells incredible.
Vel-Crows
A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, "I locked my keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door."
"Why, sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially for that."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice. "No, no, a little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.
Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
So he decided to stick it out for a little longer.
Would you believe me if I told you that I think a dog could retrieve a stick that's been thrown over a mile away? Or would you say that idea is…
far fetched?
ok
They both have three pedals, and most people only know what two of them do.
Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I fart.
How low can you get?
It said 'remove top and push up bottom'
I can hardly walk but my farts smell lovely.
"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.
"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"
I couldn't help thinking,
'if i could do that i wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place.'
Because they stick.
I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.
"Ma'am, just blow in the breathalyzer, please."
I don't believe it. I think it's a bit far-fetched.
A fish stick!
He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.
So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.
A hurricane
But in the early focus-group testing, most people were spitting on the wrong side causing the stamp not to stick to the envelopes.
How low can ya go
USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.
This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.
After months of testing, costing $2.65 billion in congressional spending and firing of 25+ people, the special prosecutor appointed by Trump presented the following findings.
* The stamps have no manufacturing defects.
* There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
* People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.
Three women walk into a pub.
One is a heavy mammal and one is a little lighter.
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14.... 14... 14..."
When he hears a commotion coming over the fence. The people inside the asylum are chanting
FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE...
He notices a small hole on the wall and curiously peeks inside to see what's going on.
Someone pokes him in the eye with a stick. And then he hears chanting
SIX, SIX, SIX...
One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
That was the punchline.
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
...then hot glue may not be for you.
Stick your hand down the sink.
Especially when your doctor has you stick your finger up your own ass and then you find out that he isn't really a doctor and you are in the wrong meeting.
Not as in, with like a stick or anything. He just died first.
Put-in
Where do you stick the cucumber?!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stick lick jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stick stickin piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.