Stick Jokes

154 stick jokes and hilarious stick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you love puns? Get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious jokes involving popsicle sticks, walking sticks, yard sticks, lolly sticks, and more! These quirky quips will have you clinging on to every line and stuck in a world of laughter. Be sure to share them with your friends and poke a little fun!

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Funniest Stick Short Jokes

Short stick jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stick humour may include short stalk jokes also.

  1. Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
  2. My son accidentally glued his autobiography to himself That's his story and he's sticking to it.
  3. My author friend claims that he 'accidentally' glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
  4. A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
    Me: "I dunno, what?"
    Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!"
  5. I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick... She's still not talking to me :(
  6. My new year's resolution is to stay out of shape Maybe I won't stick with this one either.
  7. What's the difference between a hippo, a zippo, and a stick of glue? One is a heavy mammal and one is a little lighter.
  8. What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer? The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids
  9. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick. I accidentally gave her a glue stick.
    She still isn't talking to me.
  10. When a girl seductively tells you, "you can stick it wherever you want" Apparently in her roommate is NOT one of the options

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Stick One Liners

Which stick one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stick? I can suggest the ones about knife and stuff.

  1. I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual.
  2. Someone broke into my house last night and stole my Limbo stick.. How low can you get?
  3. I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn't find a manual.
  4. Can't believe someone broke into my shed and stole my limbo stick How low can ya go
  5. What kind of crows stick together? velcrows
  6. If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ? Hurry canes.
  7. Any bug can hit a windshield.. But it takes some guts to stick.
  8. What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-Crows
  9. People are like drum... If you hit them with a stick, they will make noise.
  10. What did the stick man say after he fell on his side? ok
  11. What kind of birds always stick together? Velcrows
  12. They might deny pouring glue on my weapons... But I'm sticking to my guns.
  13. What do you call it when a Chinese ghost hits you with a stick? Bam! *Boo*!
  14. What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic
  15. How does a non American frighten an American? Stick your hand down the sink.

Walking Stick Jokes

Here is a list of funny walking stick jokes and even better walking stick puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Bought a deodrant stick today... It said 'remove top and push up bottom'
    I can hardly walk but my farts smell lovely.
  • I almost had to fight someone today after they hit me with a stick, but he walked away like he didn't even see me.
  • I live in Saudi Arabia, so I have to translate this joke. I will do my best. Stick with me. Three women walk into a pub.
  • What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster? A hurricane
  • I invented a motorized walking stick.. I call it the hurrycane.
  • A duck walks into a drug store, He goes and puts lip stick on the check out counter.
    The cashier asks, "will this be cash or check?"
    The duck says, "neither; just put it on my bill."
  • For the first time in my life I can walk past a balloon and it doesn't stick to me I'm absolutely ex-static!
  • A man walks into a bar... Second prize in the national limbo competition is nothing to shake a stick at
  • Back in my day, you could walk into a convenience store with a nickel and get three licorice sticks and some soda. Now? CCTVs everywhere.
  • Why does the Avon lady walk funny? Because her lips stick

Stick Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny stick man jokes and even better stick man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My dad rubs Elmers Glue on his hands like lotion before he goes hunting. I know, it's weird, and I've tried talking him out of it... But he's sticking to his guns on this one. Stubborn man.
  • Man sticks finger into electrical socket... What happens next will shock you.
  • Did you hear about the man arrested for throwing stones and sticks in the river? There was damming evidence.
  • Why did the man stick a lightbulb in his mouth? He wanted a light snack
  • Police man: come out with your hands up! Guy: *sticks hands up* I'm gay!
  • A man walked into a bar. The barman said, "You've got a steering wheel sticking out of your fly." "I know," said the man, "it's driving me nuts."
  • Was in line at the bank today When a man walked in wearing sunglasses and holding a white and red walking stick, demanding all our money.
    He was robbing us blind!
  • An old man goes to rob a bank... He walks up to the teller, raises his walking stick up into the air and shouts "This is a stick up!"
  • Why can't you take a picture of a man with a walking stick? Ans: You take a photo with a camera not a walking stick.
  • A Roman man walks into a bar He sticks up 2 fingers and the bartender gives him 5 beers
Stick joke, A Roman man walks into a bar

Stick People Jokes

Here is a list of funny stick people jokes and even better stick people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • For those people who still carry their selfie stick with them on their travels, I have one thing to say. I hope you take a long hard look at yourself.
  • How is a piano like a stick shift? They both have three pedals, and most people only know what two of them do.
  • US Postal Service was considering a new Trump postage stamp... But in the early focus-group testing, most people were spitting on the wrong side causing the stamp not to stick to the envelopes.
  • People who use Selfie Sticks..... Really need to take a good long look at themselves!
  • My dwarf friend was permanently banned from the nudist colony. He kept sticking his nose in other people's business.
  • People say sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you. Unless you live in Skyrim where words can kill you
  • People who use selfie sticks...... Need to have a good, long look at themselves
  • People have been criticizing me because I put glue on my hands before handling my weapons But sometimes one just needs to stick to their guns
  • I was cleaning out my garage and couldn't find my limbo stick. I thinknit was stolen How low will people go?!?!
  • A lot of people don't know how to drive stick shift these days They keep making mistakes while shifting, it really grinds some gears

Stick Finger Jokes

Here is a list of funny stick finger jokes and even better stick finger puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back.
  • I got fired from my deli job cause the boss caught me sticking my finger in the pickle slicer.. ..turns out he fired her too.
  • Dear Middle Finger, Thanks for always sticking up for me.
  • What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old? Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.
  • I'd like to thank my middle finger... For always sticking up for me.
  • Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
    She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
    Then she comes rolling back for more.
  • How do you upset Winnie the Pooh? Stick a couple fingers in his honey.
    Not entirely sure where I heard this...
  • Roman Centurion walks into a pub and sticks up two fingers at the landlord "The usual five beers, then, Andronicus!" Replied the landlord
  • My friend was fired for sticking his finger in the pickle slicer again the other day Don't worry they fired her too
  • I used to work at a deli until I was fired for sticking my finger in the pickle slicer Turns out the pickle slicer was fired too

Popsicle Stick Jokes

Here is a list of funny popsicle stick jokes and even better popsicle stick puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What subject did Dracula major in during college? AcCOUNTing
    This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.
  • What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone? A banana-nana-nana
    Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long.
  • How do you comb a bee's hair? With a honeycomb!
    I'm sorry I found this joke on a popsicle stick please forgive me.
  • My kids just read this on a popsicle stick. What do you feed a disapearing cat? Evaporated milk
  • What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick? Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance?
    A: At the snowball.
    Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick
  • What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex? A DynaSnore!
    A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.
  • What's a cheerleader's favorite fruit? (Popsicle stick caliber) Pom-Pomegranate
  • What kind of outfit does a unicycle wear? Attire.
    Popsicle sticks can be surprisingly funny.
  • Why are rhinos so wrinkley? "because they are hard to iron"...
    Full disclosure, I read this on a popsicle stick like 15 years ago... I still don't get it
  • What did the tongue say to the Popsicle stick? I'm feeling depressed.
Stick joke, What did the tongue say to the Popsicle stick?

Charming Humor Stick Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about stick you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stub jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stick pranks.

So a pirate has been on a ship for 6 months...

but there are no women on the ship and being male,he had some...urges, so he asked the captain " arr its been 6 months since we've had a lass on the ship and some of the others are getting urges. what can we do about them??" and the captain responds" go down to the front of the ship and there will be a barrel, stick your privates in there and go at it." so he did as he was told and when he was done he came back. he told the captain " captain! that was great! how many times can i use it????" and the captain turned to him and said " every day except thursday." and the pirate asked " why?" the captain responded " aye, because thats your turn to be in the barrel."

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old
lady, entered the doctor´s office.

"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."
"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

Flying Blind

A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning.
The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, "The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."
The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. "We're flying over Paris! I could feel the Eiffel Tower!"
The Englishman is next. He sticks his hand outside and draws it back in a minute later. "I just touched Big Ben! We are just over London!"
Finally, it is the American's turn. He shoves his hand outside the plane and brings it back in immediately. "We're flying over Detroit. I know because my watch just got stolen."

Women are like parking spaces...

Sometimes all the good ones are taken, so you have to stick it in a disabled one.

How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone?

You add a dab of glue.

There were 3 moles living in a hole...

One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."

The saddest joke I've heard

My wife ran off with my best friend...
Now, when I throw the stick, it just lays there.

How I learned to miknd my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!

Two p**... are driving in a car

The driver: Stick your head out the window and see if my directional is working. Is it on?"
The passenger:" Uh yep. nope. yep. nope. yep. nope"

Women are like parking spaces....

All the good ones are gone, so every now and then when no one is looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree

He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas g**... and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."

A man drives through a stop sign..

A cop pulls him over and asks for his information.
"Sir, you just drove through that intersection without stopping."
"Aww come on, it's not a big deal..I slowed down!"
The officer steps back, looking down at his feet, all of a sudden he pulls out his night stick and starts beating the man.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!" The man screams.
"Would you like me to slow down, or stop?"

Squirrels are like cigarettes.

They are completely harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light them on fire.

I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for s**...

I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best.

Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?

Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.

I smell maple syrup!

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .

My friend said his dog could retrieve a stick from 5 miles away.

That just seems a little far fetched to me.

If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring?

Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.

A man is walking through a forest and sees a huge hole

The whole is really deep. It's huge and dark and seems bottomless, so the man decides to see how deep.
He throws in a pebble and listens, but it doesn't make a sound.
He throws in a big stick; still no sound
He throws in a huge tree stump he prised up out of the ground; nothing
Suddenly, a dog comes running by and jumps straight into the hole at alarming speed.
The man stares into the hole, dumbfounded, when another man walks by and asks "have you seen my dog?"
"Yeah" he replies, "he just jumped in this hole"
"That's funny" the other man replies, "I had him tied to a tree stump"

My s**... life is like finding a parking spot

My s**... life is like finding a parking spot in town.
All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.
*My little brother told me this one; hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*

Girl, you must be a trash can...

Because I want to t**... top and stick my junk in you.

A mate told me that he threw a stick over a mile and his dog caught and returned it.

Seems pretty far fetched to me.

My six year old daughter was watching me shave this morning..

"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.
"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."
"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.
"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.
"But don't they just fall off?"
"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."

Cigarettes are just like squirrels.

They aren't dangerous until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

So there's these two beavers...

one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.
Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."
Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says

Two girls play in the park, one takes wood stick and says:

"my dad's is this big". The other one says: "My dad's is smaller, but it still hurts..."


I was in the park the other day and saw a guy practising his athletic trials, with a long metal stick for the Olympics. I asked if he was a pole vaulter, and he replied "Nein, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"

I got a new stick of deodorant today.

The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom'
I can barely walk, but when I f**... the room smells wonderful

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.

- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.

Women are like car parking spaces...

Usually, most of the good ones are taken....
So once in a while, you gotta stick it in a disabled one

I covered all my weapons in glue.

I questioned it at first, but I decided to stick to my guns.

10 years ago to this day, I cut myself with a stick of RAM

I guess you could say I have a pretty sharp memory.

Women are like parking spaces...

Normally, the good ones are taken so occasionally, when nobody is looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.

I bought myself a new deodorant stick this morning.

The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".
I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I f**..., the room smells incredible.

A blonde walked into a gas station...

A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, "I locked my keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door."
"Why, sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially for that."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice. "No, no, a little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

My friend is a male stripper. He hates his job and wants to quit, but the pay is too good.

So he decided to stick it out for a little longer.

Would you believe me…

Would you believe me if I told you that I think a dog could retrieve a stick that's been thrown over a mile away? Or would you say that idea is…
far fetched?

I purchased a deodorant stick today

Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I f**....

As a spectator at the last Summer Olympics, I saw a guy walking around carrying a 10 foot long stick...

"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.
"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

I was on a plane recently and the stewardess said that in the event of an accident i had to stick my head between my legs.

I couldn't help thinking,
'if i could do that i wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place.'

Why is it easy to come up with nicknames for a tree?

Because they stick.
I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.

"When I stick it in my mouth, do you want me to look into your eyes?"

"Ma'am, just blow in the breathalyzer, please."

A stranger gave me a really old metal box...

He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.
So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.
This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.

After months of testing, costing $2.65 billion in congressional spending and firing of 25+ people, the special prosecutor appointed by Trump presented the following findings.
* The stamps have no manufacturing defects.
* There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
* People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13... 13... 13..."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14.... 14... 14..."

A man realized he needed to pu...

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."

Those Zoom doctor appointments are not very good.

Especially when your doctor has you stick your finger up your own a**... and then you find out that he isn't really a doctor and you are in the wrong meeting.

Granddad could tell a tale

He used to say that as a boy he had the strongest arm in the county. He said he could throw a stick so hard that it would take his dog an hour to retrieve it.
To me that always seemed far-fetched.

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.

He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She did as told and said " Yes, No, Yes, No.

The inventor of the USB stick has died

At his f**... they gently lowered the coffin, then pulled it back up, turned it the other way, then lowered it again.

I went to the Olympics in Tokyo...

... and saw a guy walking around with a big stick.
So I asked: "Are you a pole vaulter?".
He replied: "No I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"
(stole this joke from Billy Connolly)

Bought a deodorant stick today.

Instructions say "remove cap & push up bottom"
I can hardly walk but when I f**... the room smells lovely

I'm kinda new to gardening...

Someone suggested I put horse manure on my strawberries.
Well, I'm never doing that again...
I'll just stick to whipped cream.

A scrawny teenage boy asks his muscular friend how he gets so many girls to sleep with him.

The muscular friend says, "Here's what you do: next time there's a party, get a large potato and stick it down your pants and act normal. You'll see - that'll turn you into a chick magnet."
A minute later, all the girls at the party run away from the scrawny kid, screaming and laughing and pointing.
The muscular friend sees this and comes over to his scrawny friend. "Dude," he says. "You have to put the potato in the front."

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants. What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
I'm looking for a third joke with a punchline that appears to be, but isn't, f**... related. Please help me finish my pseudo-p**... dad joke trifecta.

My f**... friend said he was thinking about retiring from the game

But I convinced him he should stick it out a bit longer

What is impossible to stick in nearly half the time but too d**... easy to pull out?

Those d**... USB keys.

Stick joke, What is impossible to stick in nearly half the time but too d**... easy to pull out?

jokes about stick