My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago.
She looked at me and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt".
I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.
After I tried, she freaked out and told me never again.
I guess the bulb was hot.
She told me to turn the light off and stick it in her butt.
Should've waited for the bulb to cool down first.
Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
But I couldn't find a manual.
I stick a tube of toothpaste up my ass for complete cavity protection.
Without looking like a twat
She's still not talking to me :(
If we stick together, we can stop this shit.
A selfie stick
"Hands in the air motherfuckers! This is a stick up!" Because he's just dyslexic and can still speak fine
Maybe I won't stick with this one either.
How low can you get?
I accidentally gave her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
He used to stick his hand up my arse and tell me to say nothing
You're fucking nuts
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!
How low can you go?
One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."
One day, her husband comes home and says, "Dear, for years at work I have had the powerful urge to stick my dick in the pickle slicer. Every day, when I walk past the pickle slicer, I get the compulsion to just stick it in. Well, today, I gave in and shoved my dick in the pickle slicer right there on the work floor."
The wife gasps, "Oh my God! What happened?"
"She and I both got fired."
The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".
I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I fart, the room smells incredible.
"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.
"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."
"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.
"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.
"But don't they just fall off?"
"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."
Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I fart.
Apparently in her roommate is NOT one of the options
They aren't dangerous until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.
"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.
"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"
I can barely walk now but when I fart the room smells lovely
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .
molasses."
I questioned it at first, but I decided to stick to my guns.
Would you believe me if I told you that I think a dog could retrieve a stick that's been thrown over a mile away? Or would you say that idea is…
far fetched?
Because I want to take off your top and stick my junk in you.
I was out for a walk and passed a mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting: "13... 13... 13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over, but I saw a small gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on in there.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting: "14... 14... 14..."
She looked at me with a mischievous smile and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt".
I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.
...and sits down at the bar. He orders a whiskey and begins to drink. He looks up and notices a monkey.
"What's with the monkey?" he asks the barkeep.
"Well, watch this." The bartender pulls a stick from behind the bar and whacks the monkey. The monkey climbs down and gives the bartender a blowjob.
"Wanna give it a try?" the bartender asks the man.
"Sure. Just don't hit me so hard with stick!"
and they are all bragging about the sizes of their vaginas. The first one says, "My pussy is soooooo big, my husband can stick his whole fist in it!" The second says, "Ha, is that all? My pussy is soooooo big, my husband can stick his whole foot in it!". The third one just laughs and slides down the stool.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Stick? Well, here are the best Stick dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Stick pick up lines to share with friends.