stick Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious stick puns

Had sex with my girlfriend a couple days ago..

My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago.

She looked at me and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt".

I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.

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My girlfriend said if I turned off the light, I could stick it in her ass.

After I tried, she freaked out and told me never again.

I guess the bulb was hot.

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Had sex with my girlfriend a few days ago.[NSWF]

She told me to turn the light off and stick it in her butt.

Should've waited for the bulb to cool down first.

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Cigarettes are like hamsters

Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.

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I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift.

But I couldn't find a manual.

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To avoid being raped when I am in jail...

I stick a tube of toothpaste up my ass for complete cavity protection.

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TIL it's impossible to stick your tongue out and look up at the same time

Without looking like a twat

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I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...

She's still not talking to me :(

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What did one butt cheek say to the other?

If we stick together, we can stop this shit.

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What's 12 inches long and snaps a cunt?

A selfie stick

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A dyslexic walks into a bank and yells:

"Hands in the air motherfuckers! This is a stick up!" Because he's just dyslexic and can still speak fine

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My new year's resolution is to stay out of shape

Maybe I won't stick with this one either.

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Someone broke into my house last night and stole my Limbo stick..

How low can you get?

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The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick.

I accidentally gave her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

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My uncle Robert was a shit ventriloquist

He used to stick his hand up my arse and tell me to say nothing

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If you ever stick your dick inside a peanut butter jar...

You're fucking nuts

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How I learned to miknd my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."

The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!

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Someone broke into my apartment last night and stole my limbo stick.

How low can you go?

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There were 3 moles living in a hole...

One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."

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A womans husband worked at a Pickle Factory...

One day, her husband comes home and says, "Dear, for years at work I have had the powerful urge to stick my dick in the pickle slicer. Every day, when I walk past the pickle slicer, I get the compulsion to just stick it in. Well, today, I gave in and shoved my dick in the pickle slicer right there on the work floor."

The wife gasps, "Oh my God! What happened?"




"She and I both got fired."

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I bought myself a new deodorant stick this morning.

The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".

I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I fart, the room smells incredible.

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My six year old daughter was watching me shave this morning..

"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.

"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."

"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.

"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.

"But don't they just fall off?"

"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."

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I purchased a deodorant stick today

Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I fart.

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When a girl seductively tells you, "you can stick it wherever you want"

Apparently in her roommate is NOT one of the options

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Cigarettes are just like squirrels.

They aren't dangerous until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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As a spectator at the last Summer Olympics, I saw a guy walking around carrying a 10 foot long stick...

"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.

"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

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I bought a new stick of deodorant today and the instructions say to remove the top and push up bottom

I can barely walk now but when I fart the room smells lovely

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I smell maple syrup!

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .









molasses."

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I covered all my weapons in glue.

I questioned it at first, but I decided to stick to my guns.

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Would you believe me…

Would you believe me if I told you that I think a dog could retrieve a stick that's been thrown over a mile away? Or would you say that idea is…




far fetched?

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Girl, you must be a trash can...

Because I want to take off your top and stick my junk in you.

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How I learned to mind my own buisness.

I was out for a walk and passed a mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting: "13... 13... 13..."

The fence was too high for me to see over, but I saw a small gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on in there.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting: "14... 14... 14..."

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My wife and I were having sex the other night... [NSFW]

She looked at me with a mischievous smile and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt".

I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.

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A guys walks into a bar...

...and sits down at the bar. He orders a whiskey and begins to drink. He looks up and notices a monkey.

"What's with the monkey?" he asks the barkeep.

"Well, watch this." The bartender pulls a stick from behind the bar and whacks the monkey. The monkey climbs down and gives the bartender a blowjob.

"Wanna give it a try?" the bartender asks the man.

"Sure. Just don't hit me so hard with stick!"

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3 Women are at a bar. (Mildly nsfw)

and they are all bragging about the sizes of their vaginas. The first one says, "My pussy is soooooo big, my husband can stick his whole fist in it!" The second says, "Ha, is that all? My pussy is soooooo big, my husband can stick his whole foot in it!". The third one just laughs and slides down the stool.

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What are the most funny Stick jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Stick? Well, here are the best Stick dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Stick pick up lines to share with friends.

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