Stick Finger Jokes
50 stick finger jokes and hilarious stick finger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stick finger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stick Finger Short Jokes
Short stick finger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stick finger humour may include short pointing finger jokes also.
- What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back.
- I got fired from my deli job cause the boss caught me sticking my finger in the pickle slicer.. ..turns out he fired her too.
- What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old? Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.
- Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more. - How do you upset Winnie the Pooh? Stick a couple fingers in his honey.
Not entirely sure where I heard this... - Roman Centurion walks into a pub and sticks up two fingers at the landlord "The usual five beers, then, Andronicus!" Replied the landlord
- My friend was fired for sticking his finger in the pickle slicer again the other day Don't worry they fired her too
- I used to work at a deli until I was fired for sticking my finger in the pickle slicer Turns out the pickle slicer was fired too
- The other day at the gym, I noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to stick a finger in She's now made a formal complaint and my memberships been revoked.
- During my last prostate exam I asked my doctor to stick in another finger. Because I wanted a second opinion.
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Stick Finger One Liners
Which stick finger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stick finger? I can suggest the ones about broken finger and cut finger.
- Man sticks finger into electrical socket... What happens next will shock you.
- Dear middle finger, Thanks for always sticking up for me.
- A Roman man walks into a bar He sticks up 2 fingers and the bartender gives him 5 beers
- I'd like to thank my middle finger... For always sticking up for me.
- Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
- How do you finger a chicken? The same way you stick a fish.
- Sticking Peoples Finger in Our Mouth PRANK!!
- Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist? She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.
- What's the best way to get a drink out of an Irishman? Stick your finger down his t**....
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Stick Finger Jokes
What funny jokes about stick finger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean missing finger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stick finger pranks.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Pickle Slicer
So a guy comes home from work, kinda bummed out, and his wife asked "What's wrong dear?" The fella says "Every day when I leave work I have the urge to stick my finger in the bottom of the pickle slicer." His wife replies "Well, if it bothers you that much then do it, but I don't want to hear about you getting hurt."
So the next day the guy comes home with a black eye and his wife asks what happened. "Remember what I said about putting my finger in the bottom of the pickle slicer?" And the wife says "Uh, yeah - how did that work out?"
"Well, I should have asked her first!"
One of my favorites
A little boy and his mother are in a department store shopping one afternoon. The mother decides to try some clothes on and tells her son to wait outside the changing room for her. A few minutes later she walks out to find her son has his hand up the dress of a mannequin in the store. She quickly rushes over and slaps her sons hand exclaiming "don't ever stick your hand up a girls dress!" The boy seems confused and asks why. His mother explains that "girls have teeth up there and you could lose a finger" Never learning any different several years pass and the boy is now in his teens and has managed to get himself a girlfriend. After a couple months of making out with his girlfriend after school she one day asks him why he never puts his hand up her dress when they are kissing. The boy says "are you crazy I'm not going to put my hand up your dress, you have teeth up there and I could lose a finger." Confused the girl lifts up her dress to show him and says "what are you talking about there aren't any teeth up there" The boy takes a good long look and says "Yeah...not with gums like those"
A blond walks in for a job interview...
She is kind of hot and the boss thinks of hiring her without the formalities. But decides to just ask her a few simple questions anyhow. "Could you tell me how old you are?" The blond starts to count on her fingers until she reaches 19. "19," she replies with a smile. The boss is taken aback and decides to ask an other simple question. "Could you tell me how tall you are?" she goes into her bag and pulls out a tape measure, sticks it under her shoe and starts to pull it to her head. "5'9" She beams with a smile. The boss can't believe how she could be so brainless and decides to ask her something everyone know. " Could you please tell me your name? At this she looks to the ceiling and starts to more her head right to left...right ..left ..right.. left ..right ..left. She does this for a while then says " EEMMILLLYYY" then she says "my names Emily" the boss can't help himself and asks. "Why did you shake your head like that when I asked you your name?" To which she replies," oh I'm remembering that song...
Happy birthday to you"
Sorry for the mess Im using my phone..
Women are like a box of chocolates...
Stick your finger in first to see if it's any good.
What's the best way to remove p**... hair?
Stick out your tongue and take it off with your fingers
Proctologist visit
*This is and old joke, sorry if it does not translate as well to english.
*
A man goes to a proctologist, for a check up.
The doctor, after some small talk ask him to drop trousers, and bend over. He l**... his finger and stick it in.
After a minute the doctor says.
Doctor - Sir, i have bad news. I am afraid you are going to have to stop m**....
The man clearly is taken aback from this preposterous comment, and just manages to say "why?"
The doctor calm as ever, and still wearing him as a ventriloquist doll says: "Cause I am still in the room performing this exam."
Why did the little Dutch boy have to register as a s**... offender?
He kept on sticking his finger in a tyke.
A woman ask her husband if he wants to go bowling or spend a night together at home...
The man said:
"I don't want to spend my time sticking my fingers in stinky holes where everyone putted their fingers in..
Let's go bowling!"
Me and my wife one night
My wife asked me: should we stay on the couch tonight and have a romantic evening or should we go bowling?
I repleid: well i am not sticking my fingers in some holes where every other person has stuck his sweaty dirty fingers in. So let's go bowling.
Old age
An old man went to the doctor for his annual check up.
The doctor asks the old man to show him his s**... organs.
The old man sticks out his tongue and shows him two fingers.
Kissing lead to foreplay...
She liked it when I used one finger,
She: "Now use two fingers"
Me: "Yeah you like that?"
She: "Now stick your hand in..."
Me: "Oh babe, you're k**..."
She: "Two hands now..."
Me: 😦"okay...."
She: "Now clap...
Me: "I can't..."
She: 😏 "I'm tight, right?"
Twelve-year-old Timmy was talking with his classmate, Lisa...
Timmy: "Hey Lisa, I'll give you a dollar if we can go in the closet and you let me stick my finger in your belly button."
Lisa: "Okay."
They go into the dark closet.
Lisa: "Hey Timmy! That's not my belly button!"
Timmy: "That's okay. That's not my finger."
The year is 2017.
There are machines which can look through skin and see bones. There are machines which keep you alive when your brain and heart have stopped. There's even a machine that can tell you who your parents are with a single drop of spit. However, when I need my prostate checking, a man sticks his finger up my a**... and wriggles it about a bit.
Another Blonde Joke
Two blondes stood by a car in which they had accidentally locked the key.
We need to get in there, says the first blonde. Why don't we use a coat hanger to slide the lock open?
No, says the second. People'd think we're trying to steal the car.
I have a pair of scissors, says the first. We could use it to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock."
No, they'd just say we're too s**... to use a coat hanger.
Well, we'd better think of something fast, sighed the first blonde. It's starting to rain and all the car windows are open.
The Stuck Peanut
A man gets a peanut stuck firmly in his ear and no matter
how hard his wife tries, they cannot get it out. Just as they're
about to give up, their daughter arrives home with her
boyfriend. When they hear what has happened the
boyfriend tells them confidently that he knows how to get it
out. He sticks 2 fingers up the man's nose and tells him to
blow as hard as he can. The man does this and the peanut
pops out.
Sometime later the parents are talking and mum
comments, "Our Mary's got a clever boyfriend there. I
wonder what will become of him.
I'll tell you one thing, by the smell of his fingers, he'll be
our son-in-law, came the reply.
A hot woman goes up to a guy at the bar and asks "Are you the manager?"
He smiles and says "yep"
She puts her arm around him and says "so it's your job to take care of this place"
"uh huh"
She sticks her fingers in his mouth and whispers in his hear "can I tell you a dirty little secret?"
He emphatically nods whiles mumbling "yes"
"There's no toilet paper in the ladies room"
Women enjoy s**... more than men
Proof : When your ear is itchy and you stick your finger in to scratch it, what feels better your ear or your finger?
Five pounds.
A young woman walks towards a fishmongers stall. She approaches him and says
Woman: I nee five pounds o makkel.
Fishmonger: what was that hon? I couldnt understand you.
Woman: makkel. Five pounds.
Fishmonger: I'm sorry I still didnt catch that.
The woman is visibly frustrated and sticks her hands into her pants, pulling her fingers out and under the man's nose.
Fishmonger: HOLY MACKEREL!
Woman: Five pounds.
Those Zoom doctor appointments are not very good.
Especially when your doctor has you stick your finger up your own a**... and then you find out that he isn't really a doctor and you are in the wrong meeting.
Dark pickup lines
Are you s**...?
Because I think about you every day.
Are you the s**... hotline?
Because I need to get your number.
Are you a noose?
Because I'd love to hang with you.
Are you a coffin?
Because I wish I was inside you.
Are you a death certificate?
Because I wish you were mine.
Are you an electrical outlet?
Because I'd like to stick my fingers inside you.
Are you death?
Because I long for your sweet embrace.
Two guys walking down the road see a pile of dog p**...
One says, "hey that looks like dog p**...". Then he bends over and touches it. He says, "feels like dog p**...". The other bends over and sniffs it. Says, "smells like dog p**...". Then he sticks his finger in it and tastes it. He says "tastes like dog p**...". The other one says, "Well, good thing we didn't step in it!!"
Note: little boys crack right up all the way through with this joke. Something about p**... is enormously funny to boys.
My uncle was a c**... ventriloquist
He used to stick two fingers in me and tell me not to say anything.