Stick And Poke Jokes
26 stick and poke jokes and hilarious stick and poke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stick and poke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Stick And Poke Short Jokes
Short stick and poke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stick and poke humour may include short stick people jokes also.
- Steve Irwin: "Crikey! It's a deadly stingray! Let's poke it worry a stick!" Deadly Stingray: "Crikey! It's a Steve Irwin! Let's poke it with a stick!"
- We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
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Stick And Poke One Liners
Which stick and poke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stick and poke? I can suggest the ones about stick and sticks and stones.
- What's worse than a poke in the eye with a hot stick? Nothing. Trust me.
Stick And Poke Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about stick and poke you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean poking fun jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stick and poke pranks.
How I learned to miknd my own business:
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13... 13... 13..."
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14.... 14... 14..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Walking past a lunatic asylum
Walking past a lunatic asylum , and I could hear the inmates shouting 13, 13, 13, 13, curiosity got the better of me but the walls were too tall to see over .all the time they kept on shouting 13, 13, 13, finally I found a hole in the wall so I took a peep and some fool poked me in the eye with a stick and then they started shouting 14, 14, 14, 14,
A man goes for a walk...
and as he walks he approaches the local mental institution, on the other side of the wall he can hear the patients chanting "3! 3! 3! 3!". His curiosity has been piqued by all the commotion coming from within so he decides to take a glimpse through a hole he sees in the wall, as he bends down and peers through the wall silence falls over the yard and a long stick gets shoved through the hole and pokes him in the eye
"4! 4! 4! 4! 4!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How I learned to mind my own business
I was walking past a mental hospital the other day.
And the patients were shouting 13, 13, 13.. the fence was too high high to see over. But there was a small gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what's going on….
…
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick
And the next thing I hear from over the fence is all the patients chanting 14……14…..14….
Curiosity killed the cat
One day I was walking by a tall fence. On the other side I could hear a group of people chanting, "12! 12! 12! 12!" Confused, I tried to jump up and see over the fence, to see what's going on but the fence was too tall. A little further up, I saw a small hole in the fence. I walked up to it and peeked through. As soon as I looked, I was poked in the eye by a stick. They all started chanting, "13! 13! 13! 13!"
Fred and John...
Fred and John are in bible school the teacher asks, "who created the world" John raises his hand and is called on, Fred pokes him with a pencil right as he is answering. John says "My God" and the teacher replies "correct", he then asks "what did Eve say after she had her 3rd baby?", John raises his hand again and is called on. As he is answering he is poked again with the the pencil, he says "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"
Insane Asylum
A man was walking down the street next to the Insane Aslyum.
As he was walking he heard voices over the wall chanting 21. Curiosity took over and he found a hole in the wall and looked through it.
When he looked all the sudden a stick poked him in the eye and the people behind the wall started chanting 22.
A man and his son go for a walk through the woods and get separated.
After frantically searching for his son, the man finally finds him standing over a dead animal and poking it with a stick.
Dad, what's this? The boy asks
Carrion, my wayward son.
There was a father mole, a mother mole and a baby mole
that lived in a hole out in the country not far from a farmhouse. One morning, the father mole poked his head out of the hole and said,"Mmmm, I think i smell pie cooking!"
The mother mole pushed the father mole aside, poked her head outside the hole, and said, "Mmmm, I think I smell pancakes!"
The baby mole tried to push aside the two bigger moles to stick his head outside the hole, but couldn't, because he was much smaller.
Frustrated, the baby mole said out loud, "The only thing i smell are molasses."
One day in a Sunday school class, there was a girl happily paying attention during the teacher's lecture
but there was a boy behind her that kept poking her with a stick. During this, the teacher began to call on the girl and ask her questions.
Teacher: Who do we believe in?
*poke
Girl: God!
Teacher: Very good. Who died for our sins?
*poke
Girl: Jesus Christ!
Teacher: Excellent! What did Eve say to Adam after they had their 6th child?
*poke
Girl: If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half.
Boy pokes girl with a pencil
A boy sits behind a girl he likes in Catholic school and he shows it by poking her in the back with a pencil. One day during class the teacher asks:
"Who was the one that created the universe?"
The boy pokes the girl with his pencil and she jumps up and says:
"Oh God!"
Afterward the teacher asks:
"Okay, who's the one that died for our sins?"
The boy pokes the girl with his pencil a second time and she jumps up and says:
"Jesus Christ!"
The teacher then asks:
"What did Eve say to Adam after they had their 23rd kid?"
The boy once again pokes the girl with his pencil so she turns around and says to him:
"If you stick that thing into me one more time I'm gonna break it in half!"
Susie wasn't the best student in Sunday school...
Susie was sleeping in class when the teacher asked her "who created the universe?" Timmy, who was sitting behind her, poked her with his pencil to wake her up and she yelled out "God Almighty!" Very good, said the teacher.
Later, when Susie was sleeping again her teacher asked her "Who is our lord and saviour?" Again Timmy poker her with a pencil and she yelled out "Jesus Christ!" Well done, said the teacher, who was clearly impressed.
Even later, Susie was again asleep and the teacher asked her "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her 23rd child?" Timmy goes to poke Susie with his pencil again and she yells out "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'll break it in half!"
"61...61...61..."
A man was walking by a tall wall surrounding a hospital, what he thought was an insane asylum. He heard low voices moaning and groaning and saying, "61...61...61..." over and over again. It was odd and unsettling. It was a bit creepy. And he wondered what the heck was going on behind those walls. His pace slowed as the voices got a little louder and more organized...
"61! 61! 61!"
He noticed a small beam of light coming out of a small hole about waist high. It was his chance to see what was happening.
As he bent over and peered into the hole, a stick poked through it and jabbed him right in the eye.
"OUCH!" he shouted, as he fell back on his behind.
The voices then happily started shouting, "62! 62! 62!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mind your own business...
Once I was walking down the road adjacent to a mental hospital. The hospital's compound had a tall fence separating it from the road. I could hear shouting coming from the other side, the patients were shouting, "13! 13! 13!" On and on and on.
I was intrigued. And then I saw a tiny hole in the fence. Even though it felt s**..., I decided to put my eye there and look inside.
And as soon as I did, some idiot poked my in the eye with a stick!
All the patients started shouting, "14! 14! 14!"
And that's how I learned to mind my own business.
"Seven!" "Seven!" "Seven!"
A man was walking along, when he came upon a a property with a plank fence surrounding it. He hears people inside chanting the number seven over and over again. He doesn't know much about this property, except that a cult meets there, he can't see through the fence, and he's always been curious about it. When he hears "Seven!" "Seven!" "Seven!" he can't help himself, he peeks through a hole in one of the planks. Someone promptly pokes him in the eye with a stick. They begin chanting "Eight!" "Eight!" "Eight!"
The teacher was quizzing the bible students...
and she asked "Who parted the Red Sea?"
Just then, rotten little Johnny poked Suzy with a pin, causing her to exclaim "Holy Moses!"
The teacher said "Very good, Suzy!"
Then the teacher asked "Who turned water into wine?"
Johnny pokes Suzy with the pin again, who hollers "Jesus Christ!"
The teacher can't contain herself, and asks Suzy "What did King Davids wife say to him as they retired for the night?"
Johnny pokes Suzy yet again, bringing forth the exclaimation "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'm gonna break it off!"
one day at the mental hospital ...
A guy is walking past a mental hospital when he hears some of the residents, on the grounds, chanting "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
There's a fence blocking his view so he has no idea why they are chanting "Thirteen!" and curiosity gets the better of him. He searches the fence and eventually finds a small hole at about head height.
As he puts his eye up to the hole, a stick jabs through it, poking him in the eye and leaving him staggering around in agony.
Through his pain he's dimly aware that the chanting has changed to "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young teenaged girl has her first trip to the gynecologist...
She gets taken to the examination room and the nurse tells her to s**... down, put the gown on, sit in the chair and put her legs in the stirrups. The girl is a bit overwhelmed, but she complies.
A few minutes later, the doctor comes in, takes a quick glance at the girl's chart and then sits down on his stool, rolls up between the girl's legs, sticks his head under her gown and starts poking around. At this point he realizes the girl's legs are shaking tremendously, so he peeks out from under the gown to see the girl's face turning eight shades of red and covered in sweat.
He quickly grabs her chart again to read it completely, then says, "Oh goodness! Is this your first time at a gynecologist's?"
She nods and quietly replies, "Yes."
The doctor then says, "Well, if you think it'll make you feel better, I'd be happy to numb you first."
The girl shrugs her shoulders and says, "Okay."
So the doctor puts his head back down deep between her legs, shakes his head and goes:
"NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
there were two kids in a sunday school...
there were two kids in a sunday school named adam and mary, adam was sitting directly behind mary and everytime mary raised her hand to answer a question, adam found it amusing to poke her in the back with his pencil.
"todays lesson we will be answering three questions and then you may leave" said the teacher. "first, heres an easy one. who did the v**... mary give birth to?" adam poked mary in the back with the pencil and she replied a little agrivated
"ahh! jesus!" the teacher was pleased with mary and asked the second question
"who is the ruler of everything?" again adam poked mary with his pencil and again she replied agrivatedly
"ahh! god!" the teacher obviously pleased with mary decided to ask a very hard question
"what did eve say to adam after they gave birth to their 100th child?" again adam pokes mary in the back with his pencil and she angrily turns around and snaps
"adam, if you stick that in me one more time, im gunna break it in half!!"
Little Mary
Little Mary never did very well in church. She would always fall asleep when the priest was speaking. One day, while Mary was happily sleeping, the Priest said "Mary, who created the Earth as we know it"? The little boy behind Mary got bored, took out a pin, and poked Mary with it in the back. Mary jolted awake and screamed "Oh good Lord"! "Good job"! said the priest. A little later, the Priest asked sleeping Mary "Mary, who was born on December 25th and is celebrated for Christmas?". The little boy stuck the pin in her back again and Mary screamed "Oh Jesus Christ!". "Good job!" said the priest. After Mary yet again fell asleep, the priest asked "Mary, after having their 23rd baby, what did Eve say to Adam?". The boy stuck the pin in Mary's back and she screamed "If you stick that thing into me one more time, I will rip it in half!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Joey and Katie are sitting in school.
Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie.
"Correct." Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?"
Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims.
"Correct again." Says the teacher.
So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"