The Best 30 Stewart Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Stewart jokes. There are some stewart gordon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stewart jon stewart puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Stewart Jokes and Puns
The company that makes the Opera browser have asked Sir Patrick Stewart to redesign their logo
They want him to make its O.
Jews will be celebrating Passover soon...
...to commemorate the day John Stewart was passed over for the spot on the late show.
What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?
Engage.
Why did the redneck cross the road?
To get to the oth-TONY STEWART
Was my French teacher into golden showers?
Oui.
Courtesy of Stewart Francis.
What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?
Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.
I thought Kristen Stewart did a pretty good job in "Still Alice"...
...but I liked Julianne moore.
Is Jon Stewart the Last Airbender?
Because just when the world needed him most, he vanished.
I used to be a plastic surgeon.
Which raised a few eyebrows.
(Credits: Stewart Francis. Look him up, this guy is hilarious)
What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Kristen Stewart?
Jackie's bloopers go only after the movie ends.
Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?
So he could badly go where no man has gone before.
You can explore stewart thicke reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stewart andrews dad jokes. There are also stewart puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.
When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?
When she was in prison, what did Martha Stewart learn about cooking?
How to toss salad.
What did renowned Little Shop of Horrors fan, Queen Elizabeth, say to Patrick Stewart at his knighting ceremony?
Kneel, Patrick Stewart.
What do you call an artist who loves making stew?
Stewart.
What did Patrick Stewart say when the clone he created to deal with trespassing Trekkies mistook him for a fan and threw him out?
Hoisted by my own Picard
Patrick Stewart is talking about a new Stsr Trek show he will be in. There will be a disease or attack that wipes out all officers of a certain age, leaving Starfleet without any captains. So they bring in retired admirals to captain the ships.
It will be called "Geria-
I'm going over to give a large donation to rape victims...
... and I won't take no for an answer.
(Stewart Francis)
TIL Sir Patrick Stewart refuses to own an iPhone.
He prefers Androids!
When rich people go fishing, who hands them their fishing poles?
The Rod Stewart
What does Patrick Stewart use to keep the fire going?
Captains log
The inventor of ibuprofen, Stewart Adams, died today at 95 years old.
The priest got up to present the eulogy NSAID he was a lovely bloke.
How do you make Martha Stewart scream twice?
Bang her in the butt then use the curtains to clean yourself off.
Who is the new flight attendant?
Stewart is.
Stewart, Bobby, Matthew and Arthur are all hanging out at Bobby's place.
Arthur turns to the group and asks "hey, you guys ever wonder about what it would be like to have arms and legs?"
Did you see that the actress Kristen Stewart just coauthored a paper on artificial intelligence?
And it is still a better love story than Twilight.
I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong.
The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I'd been hoisted by my own Picard.
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.
Riveting!
You know who really gives kids a bad name?
Posh and Becks.
Why do apples avoid being seen with Martha Stewart?
to avoid suspicion of in-cider trading
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stewart rod stewart jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stewart tony stewart piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.