Yes, Sir?
I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.
Captain, shut up and land the plane.
Me: "Beef stew"
Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"
but google says it's not stroganoff.
Because one more, and it'd be too farty.
I put my password as "beef stew"
It said password not stroganoff.
and an angry looking bear surprised us while we were eating. She looked at me and said "Should I give him some of the stew I made?"
I said, "No, he looks angry enough already."
Apparently it's not stroganoff.
A man walks into a diner, he see the special of the day, is cold stew and asks the waitress for a bowl of it. The waitress says "Sorry the guy at the next table just got the last bowl."
"Thats fine" he replies "Ill just have a cup of coffee" as he sits drinking the coffee he notices the guy at the next table eating a sandwich drinking a coffee but not touching the stew. He leans in and asks "are you going to eat that?"
"No, no, you can go ahead." the man says. He takes the stew and starts eatting, not great, but not terrible, and its free. About half way through the bowl he comes across a dead rat at the bottom of the bowl, he up and vomits back into the bowl. The guy at the next table leans over and says "Yea, thats how far I made it."
Stew.
Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.
It's not stroganoff.
Seeing his wife at the top of the stairs he says "hey baby how about a little number 69!"
The wife replies, "you drunk sonofabitch, make your own Mongolian Beef Stew!"
"Sorry, only one carrion per passenger."
Art.
That same guy in your pool? Bob
Same guy in your hot tub? Stew
Sitting under your car that's missing a wheel? Jack
Same guy on your porch? Matt
Same guy getting hit with a baseball bat? Homer
Same guy lying in a pile of leaves? Russel
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
Chinese girl with the same condition? Irene.
... but got the error message "your password is not stroganoff"
There was a hare in my soup
I always like to make beef stew.
Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed
1) Eye
2) Yam
3) Stew
4) Peed
A Man walks into a diner, he sees they have a special "today only" on Cold Stew. He sits down at the diner table and asks the waitress to order a bowl. "im sorry sir." she replies "The gentleman beside you just ordered the last bowl."
"thats alright, ill just have a coffee."
sitting drinking his coffee he notices the guy next to him drinking a coffee eating a sandwich but not really touching the stew so he leans over "Hey man, you gonna eat that?"
"No, No, you go ahead" the mans replies
Pulling the bowl towards himself he begins to dig in, has a unique bittery taste not awful, just curious, but its free and its not the worst stew hes eaten so he continues vigirously. Halfway into the bowl of stew he discovers a large dead rat at the bottom of the bowl, without missing a beat the man up and pukes back up into the bowl. Disgusted with the meal and himself wiping the spit and remanants of puke from his chin the man next to him leans over and says
"Yea, thats how far I made it..."
Unfortunately it wasn't Stroganoff.
It's called "Incredible Stew"
"Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
A cannibal invites a friend around for dinner. As they're tucking into the starter, the guest says
"Wow. Your wife make a lovely stew."
"I know." answers the host. "I sure will miss her."
Two cannibals are sharing a lost tourist.
"You start at the feet. I'll start at the head." says the first. After a little while he notices his friend hasn't said much. "You ok?" he asks.
"Fine." Comes the reply. "I'm having a ball."
"You're eating too fast."
Stew.
Stew.
Two cannibals are lying around with swollen bellies surrounded by bones.
"Your wife sure makes a great stew," says the first cannibal.
"She sure does," replies the second, "but I'm sure going to miss her."
Warren Buffet!
Stew!
You keep it waiting
Stewart.
What do you call a Leper in a hot tub?
Stew!
Just an old joke I remember from my child hood lol
(In an Irish accent)
Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?
Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.
Chile
I said, "They're all inside seats."
I don't like people's leftovers.
It's not me, it's stew!
I shouldn't call her that, but she's a big girl.
Cause he was too busy stroganoff!
...and I'll show you that you can't keep a good man down!
Tell a cow they're being watched.
Stew
She says, Yes or no.
Stew
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Stew? Well, here are the best Stew puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Stew pick up lines to share with friends.