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Steven Wright Jokes

18 steven wright jokes and hilarious steven wright puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about steven wright that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Steven Wright Short Jokes

Short steven wright jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steven wright humour may include short steven he jokes also.

  1. I got a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer. Credit to Steven Wright.
  2. I bought a new phone, the first thing I did was push redial... The phone started having a nervous breakdown.
    (The legendary Steven Wright)
  3. My grandmother gave me 5$ and said Now don't tell your mother I told her Its gonna cost you a lot more then that to keep me quiet
    - Steven Wright
  4. I bought a three-way ticket to the capital of South Africa. (Original joke, inspired by Steven Wright)
  5. I brought one of those records that helps you learn spanish while you sleep, during the night the needle skipped and the next day i could only stutter in spanish.
    -Steven Wright (i think)
  6. I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
  7. Legendary comedian Steven Wright really became famous when he helped a woman give birth in a portable toilet. He was known for his Bedpan delivery.
  8. It was my birthday last week, I got a dehumidifier and a humidifier.... Put them in the same room, let em fight it out. -Steven Wright
  9. I had a microwave fireplace installed, so... now I can have a lovely warm evening in by the fire in less than ten minutes - Steven Wright
  10. One day, I made instant coffee in my microwave. I nearly went back in time.
    - Steven Wright

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Steven Wright One Liners

Which steven wright one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steven wright? I can suggest the ones about steve irwin and steven hawking.

  1. The Wright Way "I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."
    -Steven Wright
  2. It's a small world... ... but I wouldn't want to paint it.
    (All credit to Steven Wright)
  3. About 10 years ago... Wait.It was yesterday.
    Steven Wright
  4. I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
    -- Steven Wright
Steven Wright joke, I went to a garage sale.

Ridiculous Steven Wright Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about steven wright you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean steve harvey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steven wright pranks.

Made this up. Feels like a Steven Wright joke...

My teacher asked me to use the word "bucolic" in a sentence.
I said, "You want me to use the word 'bucolic' in a sentence?"
She replied, "Yes."
I said, "I just did."

Please read in Steven Wright's voice...

I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me.
"Why not?"
"You're at a bank."

Steven Wright joke, I went to a garage sale.