The Best 21 Steven Wright Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Steven Wright jokes. There are some steven wright kubrick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these steven wright steven write puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Steven Wright Jokes and Puns

When I was growing up, we didn't have a sandbox, we had a quicksand box.

I was an only child....eventually.

(From my favorite comedian: Steven Wright)

Made this up. Feels like a Steven Wright joke...

My teacher asked me to use the word "bucolic" in a sentence.

I said, "You want me to use the word 'bucolic' in a sentence?"

She replied, "Yes."

I said, "I just did."

The Wright Way

"I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."
-Steven Wright

Steven Wright joke, The Wright Way

I got a job working at a factory that makes fire hydrants.

Unfortunately I can't park anywhere near it.

- Steven Wright

I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord.

I kept almost dying. -Steven Wright


I got a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer.

Credit to Steven Wright.

I bought a new phone, the first thing I did was push redial...

The phone started having a nervous breakdown.

(The legendary Steven Wright)

Steven Wright joke, I bought a new phone, the first thing I did was push redial...

My grandmother gave me 5$ and said Now don't tell your mother

I told her Its gonna cost you a lot more then that to keep me quiet

- Steven Wright

I bought a three-way ticket to the capital of South Africa.

(Original joke, inspired by Steven Wright)

Today I was wondering "why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?"...

... And then it hit me.

- Steven Wright

Please read in Steven Wright's voice...

I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me.

"Why not?"

"You're at a bank."

You can explore steven wright dale reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean steven wright bolton dad jokes. There are also steven wright puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I brought one of those records that helps you learn spanish while you sleep,

during the night the needle skipped and the next day i could only stutter in spanish.
-Steven Wright (i think)

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights

I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Credit to Steven Wright.

It's a small world...

... but I wouldn't want to paint it.

(All credit to Steven Wright)

Legendary comedian Steven Wright really became famous when he helped a woman give birth in a portable toilet.

He was known for his Bedpan delivery.

It was my birthday last week, I got a dehumidifier and a humidifier....

Put them in the same room, let em fight it out. -Steven Wright

Steven Wright joke, It was my birthday last week, I got a dehumidifier and a humidifier....

About 10 years ago...

Wait.It was yesterday.

Steven Wright

I went to a garage sale.

"How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
-- Steven Wright

I had a microwave fireplace installed, so...

now I can have a lovely warm evening in by the fire in less than ten minutes - Steven Wright


Fire Hydrants

I used to work at a fire hydrant producing plant, but you couldn't park any where near the place.

Steven Wright

One day, I made instant coffee in my microwave.

I nearly went back in time.

- Steven Wright

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the steven wright steven seagal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working steven wright steven segal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes