The Best 71 Steve Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Steve jokes. There are some steve larry jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these steve kevin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Steve Jokes and Puns

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump.

But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump.

But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

People say that Steve Jobs died too soon.

But I think his death was a fitting metaphor for apples attitude to battery life.

Steve joke, People say that Steve Jobs died too soon.

Two whales walk into a bar.

"AAAAOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOAAAAAA, AOUUUUUUAAAA OOOOO," says the first whale.

The second whale replies, "Shut up, Steve, you're drunk."

So, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar...

and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.


A woman staying in a hotel was taking a shower after a long days work when she heard a knock on her door.

She went to the door, looked through the door-hole and saw it was her friend Steve. She wrapped a towel around her and opened the door.

"I finally got my racing licence!" exclaimed Steve.

"Good for you." the woman said, and closed the door, left the towel by the door and got back in the shower. A second knock came, and she saw it was John, another friend of hers. Again she wrapped the towel around her and opened the door.

"I won the lottery!" John said, and the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. for the third time, a knock on the door came. she looked through the peephole and saw it was Tom, her blind friend. she didn't bother putting on a towel.

"What is it Tom?! This is the third time I have been interrupted while showering!"

Tom gleefully replied:
"I can see!"

Alien abduction

Harry, Bill, and Steve are siting at the corner bar, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks.
Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk and was abducted by an alien." Everyone is shocked. Bill asks, "What did the alien do to you?" "All I remember is being anally probed." Ted says. Everyone is horrified. "I heard that they'll do that." Says Harry. "What did the alien look like?" Ted responds, "Steve."

Steve joke, Alien abduction

"I think I have split personalities",

......Said Steve, being frank.

Chemistry joke about dry ice.

There are two guys: Bob and Steve. Bob is carving "Drink Coke" into a block of dry ice. Steve asks "why are you carving drink coke into that block of dry ice?" Bob replies "I just heard about this thing called subliminal advertising and I thought I would give it a try."

Bob and Steve, two non-Muslim friends...

Bob and Steve, two non-Muslim friends who happen to be lost in a desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque. Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is
Mohamed, and you say that
your name is Ahmed, this way
we'll get some food! Deal?"
Steve said: "No, I'm sticking
with my name."
They walked into the Mosque
and the Sheikh saw them.
The Sheikh asked: "What are
your names?"
Bob said: "My name is
Mohamed."
Steve said: "My name is Steve."
Sheikh said: "Guys, please bring
some food and water for Steve.
And you Mohamed, Ramadan
Mubarak!!

Did you know Steve Irwin would still be alive if he wore sunscreen?

It protects from deadly rays.

You can explore steve debbie reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean steve jeffrey dad jokes. There are also steve puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.

"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.

"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.

"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"

What happened to Steve Jobs before he died?

His life HTML5d before his eyes.

If only Steve Irwin wore sun screen.

He could have been protected from harmful rays.

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

Steve joke, Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up.

So a grasshopper walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Hey, did you know I have a drink named after you?". The grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Steve!?"

Why does Steve Irwin hate sunblock?

It doesn't protect from harmful rays


Bad luck Steve Irwin.

Puts on sunblock.
Doesn't protect against harmful rays.

My girlfriend is so busted

she claims to be an atheist but yesterday I got home from work early and she was screaming "OH GOD! YES! YOU'RE SO GOOD!". So I sat smugly on the couch until she came out with my friend Steve. Then I was like "busted! you're not an atheist at all. I don't know what you did Steve but you are a legend"

I read this joke in a 1974 Playboy magazine today.

An elderly man died and went to purgatory. There he ran into a friend his age, who is accompanied by a luscious young blonde. "I'm happy for you, Steve", said the new arrival. "At least you're getting a partial reward in this place while you expiate your sins."
"She isn't my reward", sighed Steve, "I'm her punishment!"

Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now?

What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.

What if Steven Hawking...

What if Steven Hawking is the real Slim shady, but we don't know because he cant stand up.

The Universal Miss award goes to

Steve Harvey.

A woman is woken up late one night to the sound of her husband coming home.

He crashes into the bedroom reeking of booze, with a duck under his arm.

"What the hell's going on, Steve?" asks the woman.

"What do you think of the pig?"

"That's not a pig, it's a duck."

"I wasn't talking to you."

How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5

(sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies?

Mac users have no CTRL

The baby

Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this… Β 

Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault.

TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived.

Apparently it protects against harmful rays.

"Honey, you're not really nice to your son"

"Which one do you mean? Steve, John or the fat one?"

My mom says I look just like my father.

It's weird that she thinks that, because everyone else says I look like Steve the mailman.

Some say Steve Jobs died too young.

Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life.

Just waiting for Steve Harvey to come out and say it's actually Clinton

any second now

Mommy, could you please make me a sandwich?

Don't call me mommy just because I slept with your father!

So what am I supposed to call you?

Just call me Steve, like everybody else.

Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin?

Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays

Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding.

Why did Steve Bannon call Trump supporters working-class hobbits?

Because they're friends with grand wizards.

Jobs that don't exist anymore

1. Steve

A genie asked, "What's your first wish?"

Steve answered, "I wish I was rich."

And the genie said, "What's your second wish, Rich?"

There was a man with a wooden leg called Steve.

I wonder what was his other leg was called.

Steve Irwin died the way he lived.

With animals in his heart.

A conversation with a genie

Genie: What is your first wish?

Steve: I want to be rich.

Genie: Granted. Second wish?

Rich: I want lots of money.

Steve Jobs would've been a better POTUS than Trump

Well...

Maybe not?

It's hard to compare apples and oranges.

Two whales are in a bar

One whale says too the other "waoooaoooooooaoooowuooooooooooooooowaooooooouooooooooooooooooowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooowooooooooooaoaooaoooooooooooouoooooooooooooooooooowoowoooooooooooooooaoaooooooowuaoooooooooooowu."

Then the second whale says
"Go home Steve you're drunk."

For the past six years I've been trying to find my mother-in-law's killer...

...but nobody wants the job.

(Courtesy of Steve Pemberton & Reece Shearsmith)

If only Steve Irwin wore sunglasses

They might have protected him from harmful rays

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Trump.

Although that isn't really fair to say, since any other corpse would be too.

Steven Hawkings last words were

probably 30 years ago.

Why doesn't Donald Trump compare his leadership to Steve Jobs?

Even *he* knows not to compare Apples and oranges.

After my wife had given birth to our baby, the nurse asked me, "Do you have a name yet?" I replied proudly, "Yes, Steve!" She squealed, "Awww! That's a lovely name!"

"Thanks!" I said. "But what do you think we should call the baby!?"

A Lot Of People Are Saying Steve Jobs Would Make A Better President than Trump.

But that's just ridiculous, it's like comparing apples and oranges.

Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump...

But i shouldn't compare apples and oranges.

I heard they recalled Steve irwin's sunblock lotion.

It didn't protect against harmful rays.

I heard that 1 in every 4 men are gay...

I hope it's Steve. He's kinda cute.

Two Whales are sitting at a bar

The first whale says "WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWOWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOO."

The second whale says "Go home Steve your Drunk".



."

Steve Irwin put on sunscreen.

Too bad it didn't protect him from harmful rays.

PETA should respect Steve Irwin

PETA should respect Steve Irwin by eating him and using all his parts, not letting anything go to waste.

That's how my uncle, a hunter, explains "respect" anyway.

You cannot compare Steve Jobs with Donald Trump.

Apples vs. oranges.

Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump...

But that's comparing apples to oranges.

Genie: "What's your first wish?"

Steve: "I wish I was rich!"

Genie: "Okay, what's your next wish?"

Rich: "I wish I had lots of money!"

TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand.

Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays

Steve sees a woman crying on the street

\- "Why are you crying?" he asks.

\- "My husband went to pick up cigarettes' and he hasn't come back home for 2 weeks now."

\- "Don't worry, I can give you cigarettes."

Steve and his mother were way behind on their car payments

The repo man had been after them for a while but hadn't successfully gotten the car yet. One day Steve had an idea for a "sting" operation to solve the problem once and for all. Before he left he shouted to his mom that he was taking the car, but she was in the bathroom and couldn't make out what he said.

"What are you taking?" she asked.

"Car, ma, for repo sting!"

What did Steve Jobs say when he farted?

ifarted

I always thought that Steve Jobs would make a better president than Donald Trump

but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges

My yearly cake day joke

A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender comes over to him and says:

Hey, you know something? We've got a drink named after you!

The grasshopper looks up at the bartender and says:

You've got a drink named Steve?!?

If Steve Jobs could see what Apple has become today...

He'd be scrolling in his grave!

Jobs that don't exist anymore..



1. Steve..

A man is at a doctor's office about to have his prostate checked.

The doctor says "Okay, Steve, let's not get an erection again during the procedure." The man looks at the doctor confused, and says "My name isn't Steve, it's Dave." The doctor says "I know. I'm Steve."

Kevin Bacon

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs.

Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

God please don't kill Kevin Bacon.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the steve jed jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working steve steve martin piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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