steve Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious steve puns

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump.

But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

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Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump.

But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

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I tried to submit a patent for a gold-plated butt plug, but Steve Jobs beat me to it.

It turns out, he was already making overpriced toys for assholes

[Obligatory

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Jobs that don't exist anymore

1. Steve

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Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Trump

But I guess it's not fair to compare apples and oranges

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Geologist have jokes too...

Steve: "Hey, what kind of rocks are these Dan?"

Geologist: "They're sex stones."

Steve: "What? Really?"

Geologist: "Yeah. They're just fucking rocks."

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My girlfriend told me to fuck her like a man

So I stuck it in her ass and said "yeah, you like that Steve?"

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Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays

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A conversation with a genie

Genie: What is your first wish?

Steve: I want to be rich.

Genie: Granted. Second wish?

Rich: I want lots of money.

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An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.







"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.







"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.







"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"

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My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick,

Especially since his name is Steve.

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A genie asked, "What's your first wish?"

Steve answered, "I wish I was rich."

And the genie said, "What's your second wish, Rich?"

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Some say Steve Jobs died too young.

Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life.

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Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump...

But i shouldn't compare apples and oranges.

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TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived.

Apparently it protects against harmful rays.

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What do you call it when you get your dick stuck in an Apple product?

A Steve Job

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Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now?

What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.

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Mommy, could you please make me a sandwich?

Don't call me mommy just because I slept with your father!

So what am I supposed to call you?

Just call me Steve, like everybody else.

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There was a man with a wooden leg called Steve.

I wonder what was his other leg was called.

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Just waiting for Steve Harvey to come out and say it's actually Clinton

any second now

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding.

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"Honey, you're not really nice to your son"

"Which one do you mean? Steve, John or the fat one?"

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After my wife had given birth to our baby, the nurse asked me, "Do you have a name yet?" I replied proudly, "Yes, Steve!" She squealed, "Awww! That's a lovely name!"

"Thanks!" I said. "But what do you think we should call the baby!?"

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Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up.

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Steve Jobs would've been a better POTUS than Trump

Well...

Maybe not?

It's hard to compare apples and oranges.

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What happened to Steve Jobs before he died?

His life HTML5d before his eyes.

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Steve jobs would have been a better president than Trump.

Although that isn't really fair to say, since any other corpse would be too.

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Bad luck Steve Irwin.

Puts on sunblock.
Doesn't protect against harmful rays.

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Why does Steve Irwin hate sunblock?

It doesn't protect from harmful rays

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Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin?

Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays

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Halloween Party

A man walks into a Halloween party with no shirt on, only wearing a pair of jeans.

The host says, Well, Steve, this is a costume party.

The man responds, I'm in costume. I'm a premature ejaculation.

The host asks, how's that?

I just came in my pants.

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How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5

(sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

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Steve Irwin died the way he lived.

With animals in his heart.

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My girlfriend is so busted

she claims to be an atheist but yesterday I got home from work early and she was screaming "OH GOD! YES! YOU'RE SO GOOD!". So I sat smugly on the couch until she came out with my friend Steve. Then I was like "busted! you're not an atheist at all. I don't know what you did Steve but you are a legend"

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If only Steve Irwin wore sunglasses

They might have protected him from harmful rays

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What are the most funny Steve jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Steve? Well, here are the best Steve dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Steve pick up lines to share with friends.

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