Steve Jobs Jokes
115 steve jobs jokes and hilarious steve jobs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about steve jobs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Steve Jobs Short Jokes
Short steve jobs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steve jobs humour may include short steve harvey jokes also.
- Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to orange is unfair.
- Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
- Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that's comparing apples to oranges.
- Some say Steve Jobs died too young. Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life.
- For the past six years I've been trying to find my mother-in-law's killer... ...but nobody wants the job.
(Courtesy of Steve Pemberton & Reece Shearsmith) - Why doesn't Donald Trump compare his leadership to Steve Jobs? Even *he* knows not to compare Apples and oranges.
- So, bill gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar... and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.
- I asked my dad, Can you give me examples of jobs that don't exist anymore? He said, Steve.
- 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.
God please don't kill Kevin Bacon. - Since Steve Jobs died I cannot bear to see anyone use an iPhone irreverently, what I did was a tribute to his memory.
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Steve Jobs One Liners
Which steve jobs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steve jobs? I can suggest the ones about steve irwin and steven hawking.
- Jobs that don't exist anymore 1. Steve
- Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? His house didn't have windows!
- What happened to Steve Jobs before he died? His life HTML5d before his eyes.
- Why did Steve Jobs eat all the cookies? Mac users have no CTRL
- You cannot compare Steve Jobs with Donald Trump. Apples vs. oranges.
- Did you hear about Steve Harvey's new job? Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
- I'm not sure if Steve Jobs got into heaven... God's a bit touchy about apples...
- Why did Steve Jobs die too soon? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
- Steve Jobs said his life flashed before his eyes. Except Apple doesn't support Flash.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away. And that's why Steve Jobs died of cancer.
- How did Steve Jobs die? From PC
- If Steve Jobs could see what Apple has become today... He'd be scrolling in his grave!
- What did steve jobs say when he was getting his house built? No windows pls
- Did you know they buried Steve Jobs in an orchard? Yep. He's still pushing apples.
- Comparing Steve Jobs and Donald Trump is like.. Comparing apples and oranges.
The Funniest Steve Jobs Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about steve jobs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean steven he jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steve jobs pranks.
Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs.
Apparently none of them could sing, either.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
I heard the next Steve Jobs movie will be on IMAX. It's the same movie, just on a bigger screen.
McDonald's fired CEO Steve Easterbrook has already got a new job at Old McDonalds farm
He's their CIEIO
What happens when you throw a big mac at a window?
A fight between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates breaks out.
Why are Apple products popular with hipsters?
Steve Jobs went underground.
What's one sign you're not the next Steve Jobs?
Instead of a "visionary leader who changed the world," people typically describe you as a "nice guy who eats a lot." (BTW, are we allowed to link out?)
What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?
Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Steve Jobs f**... was closed casket
It wasn't supposed to be, but no one could figure out how to open the casket.
Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?
Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Linus Torvalds walk into a restroom in 2005...
When Bill Gates finishes doing his business, he goes to the sink, washes his hands, pulls 20 paper towels from the dispenser, and dries his hands completely as Steve Jobs walks up.
Bill says "at Microsoft, we like to be thorough."
Steve Jobs washes his hands even cleaner than Bill, then takes only one paper towel, using every last little bit of it, and still managing to dry his hands completely.
Steve says "at Apple, we like to be thorough AND efficient."
Just then, Linus Torvalds walks up to the sink and pulls out a laptop.
Bill and Steve give Linus a confused look. "what are you doing?" they ask.
Linus says "I'm reading the man page for the sink."
An apple a day
An apple a day does not keep the doctor away. Look at Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs
What do cancer cells do when they get bored?
they get jobs
Where's Steve Jobs?
Bending in his grave
People are always talking about how popular Steve Jobs was..
But I don't think he'll ever be as popular as his brother, Hand.
When you're feeling down, just remember...
you've accomplished more than Steve Jobs this year.
The only PC Steve Jobs ever got...
...literally killed him.
Steve Aoki, Diplo and Carnage walk into a studio...
Sike, that's someone else's job.
Saw a Steve Jobs doppelganger on a Spirit airlines flight today
You could say that he was there, in Spirit.
According to Steve Jobs, what type is the pokemon Scizor?
Feature/Borrow
Steve Jobs's death was a conspiracy.
He was murdered by his brother, Inside Jobs.
I'm surprised Apple didn't name their new stylus the Apple Nail so they could put it in Steve Job's coffin
The advertising for the new Steve Jobs film looks amazing.
Let's hope the final product actually holds up.
Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?
because Sam sung better than him
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now?
What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.
Everyone was dreaming of working for Steve Jobs
except his pancreas
The newest iPhone 6 Plus has an excellent battery life, thanks to...
...the energy generated by the perpetual motion of Steve Jobs rolling in his grave.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Steve Jobs c**... his car?
He didn't have Windows.
Why is Steve Jobs middle child unemployed?
Because he's always inbetween jobs.
What were Steve Jobs children told to do when their father passed away?
Steve's Job.
What is Steve Jobs' favorite yoga pose?
Corpse pose.
Where did Steve Jobs and Bill Gates go to get a drink?
The Space Bar
First Day On The Job
Steve just got a job at the beverage factory and is getting a tour from the manager on his first day. The manager spends this time explaining the different assembly lines.
"Over here," the manager says, "is the lemonade assembly line. we take the product, package it up and prepare it to ship. To the right we're canning juice concentrates. On this side we have the soda line, bottles and cans and such."
"Wow, you guys produce a lot of drinks," says Steve.
"You bet, name a drink and we probably have an assembly line for it."
"Do you have a punch line?"
"Nope."
What is the similarity between Steve Job and Robb Stark?
They both died when they were really popular.
The decision to cover headphone jack in the new iPhone is ridiculous!
It's a bit like Steve Jobs sewing the opening of his turtleneck shut.
Where's Steve Jobs favorite place get breakfast
IHOP
Steve Jobs walks into a bar...
Looks around silently. People notice him. Conversations turn into murmurs. And suddenly when he have all the attention...
he shouts: "I WILL RAISE YOU!?!!"
What jobs will AI not replace?
Steve
What did they call it when Bart Simpson met Steve Jobs?
iCaramba
Steve Jobs and Trump had one thing in common, both hated the PC culture
Political correctness and pancreatic cancer.
If Steve Jobs was reincarnated into a Chinese family...
he would be old enough to be making iphones now.
Hope, Cash, and Jobs
Steve Jobs is dead. Bob Hope is dead. Johnny Cash is dead. No jobs, no cash, no hope.
What would Pirate Steve Jobs wear?
An iPatch! Yarrrr.
All the hipsters love Steve Jobs
...now that he's underground.
What's the difference between Steve Jobs and Donald Trump?
A good many things, but it's a little unfair to compare Apples to oranges.
What did the apple say to angry Steve Jobs after it fell off on his head?
Bite me
If Steve jobs was a feminist
Then I guess his company would have been named Mango (Man go).
Apparently, an Apple computer, built by Steve Jobs in his garage in 1976, sold for nearly $1 million...
Which makes it the most affordable Apple product currently on the market...
I lived how Steve Jobs told us to live
"If you live each day as it was your last,… "
And I have no money left!
What's the difference between Steve Bannon and a functioning alcoholic?
A functioning alcoholic does his job!
What do you call a person who smashes windows?
Steve Jobs
I noticed Steve Jobs died eating his company's namesake
Now think about Bill Gates
So I heard Steve Jobs died...
I thought Apples didn't get viruses
Steve Jobs' keynote speeches were always thrilling.
They were guaranteed iOpeners.
What kind of hips did Steve Jobs have when he was younger?
Hippy hips.
You know why Steve Jobs didn't go to heaven?
He couldn't get past the Gates.
What's Steve Job's favorite animal part?
Turtle necks
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found out that Steve Jobs was a p**......
...turns out he was the original Mac Daddy.
Steve jobs goes to Heaven..
.. As he steps up to the pearly gates, St. Peter looks at him with a frown on his face, points downwards and says: You know how we feel about Apples up here.
What do you get when you mix Steve Jobs and the TMNT?
A Ninja Turtleneck
