Stethoscope Jokes
20 stethoscope jokes and hilarious stethoscope puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stethoscope that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Stethoscope Short Jokes
Short stethoscope jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stethoscope humour may include short microphone jokes also.
- Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope. That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
- A girl is at the doctor. The doctor is about to use the stethoscope and says "Big Breath" The girls says "Yeth, and I'm only thixteen"
- I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption
- A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint. The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.
- I've started wearing a stethoscope around my neck... So, if there's a medical emergency I get to teach people a valuable lesson about making assumptions based on someone's appearance.
- I finally saved up enough money that I could afford to listen to my heart. It turns out that's just a metaphor.
Anyway, I have a stethoscope for sale. - A girl goes to the doctor... Putting his stethoscope to the young woman's chest, the doctor said, "Big breaths, dear."
She smiled. "Yup. And I'm not even thixteen yet!" - A girl goes to the doctor, he takes out his stethoscope and says "okay, big breaths." To which the girl says "yeah, and I'm only thixteen."
- So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup... He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says,
"Big breaths."
And she says,
"Thankth! I grew them mythelf!" - A girl with a lithp goes to a doctor. The doctor puts his stethoscope on her chest and says "big breaths." The girl beams proudly and says "Yeth! I am only thixteen!"
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Stethoscope One Liners
Which stethoscope one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stethoscope? I can suggest the ones about whistle and heart monitor.
- What's the best thing to engrave on a stethoscope as a gift? From my heart to your ears.
Charming Humor Stethoscope Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about stethoscope you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean microscope jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stethoscope pranks.
This was my grandma's favourite joke
Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.
"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.
There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."
"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"
A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.
First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."
"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.
"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."
Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."
"A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved.
"Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck."
Third was little Johnny, "This is my great grandpa. He was an electrician."
"An electrician?" Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.
"Yeah, here. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmet"
A young girl goes to the doctor and tells him she is feeling ill
So the doctor places the end of the stethoscope on her chest and says "Big breaths".
To which the girl replies "Thankth, I'm only thickthteen."
A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....
The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"
A woman is visiting her doctor.
The doctor is monitoring her heartbeat with a stethoscope.
Woman: (*jokingly*) Tell me doctor, how much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten
Woman: Ten what?
Doctor: Nine...
Man: Why should I stop eating deep fried cheese because you heard something in your horoscope?
Doctor: Once again, it's stethoscope.
Dr. Visit
A girl goes in for a check-up, at a local Doctor's office. During the course of the exam he gets out his stethoscope and says "Big Breaths now". She replies "Yeth, I'm only thixteen!"
A lady goes to the doctor...
The doctor uses a stethoscope to measure the heartbeat of the lady and immediately discovered something strange.
Doctor: I'm sorry to say this but it's fatal and you do not have long to live
Lady: How long?
Doctor: Ten
Lady: Ten? Ten what?!
Doctor: Nine...
Little Susie goes to the doctor...
Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, "Ok now, big breathes."
Susie says, "I know! And I'm only 12!"
