The Best 19 Stethoscope Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stethoscope jokes. There are some stethoscope heart jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stethoscope examination puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stethoscope Jokes and Puns

This was my grandma's favourite joke

Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.

"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.

There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."

"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"

Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope.

That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

A girl is at the doctor. The doctor is about to use the stethoscope and says "Big Breath"

The girls says "Yeth, and I'm only thixteen"

Stethoscope joke, A girl is at the doctor. The doctor is about to use the stethoscope and says "Big Breath"

A young girl goes to the doctor and tells him she is feeling ill

So the doctor places the end of the stethoscope on her chest and says "Big breaths".

To which the girl replies "Thankth, I'm only thickthteen."

I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck

So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption


A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint.

The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.

A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....

The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"

Stethoscope joke, A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....

I've started wearing a stethoscope around my neck...

So, if there's a medical emergency I get to teach people a valuable lesson about making assumptions based on someone's appearance.

I finally saved up enough money that I could afford to listen to my heart.

It turns out that's just a metaphor.

Anyway, I have a stethoscope for sale.

A girl goes to the doctor...

Putting his stethoscope to the young woman's chest, the doctor said, "Big breaths, dear."

She smiled. "Yup. And I'm not even thixteen yet!"

A girl goes to the doctor, he takes out his stethoscope and says "okay, big breaths."

To which the girl says "yeah, and I'm only thixteen."

You can explore stethoscope heartbeat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stethoscope patient dad jokes. There are also stethoscope puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup...

He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says,

"Big breaths."

And she says,

"Thankth! I grew them mythelf!"

A woman is visiting her doctor.

The doctor is monitoring her heartbeat with a stethoscope.

Woman: (*jokingly*) Tell me doctor, how much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten

Woman: Ten what?

Doctor: Nine...

A girl with a lithp goes to a doctor.

The doctor puts his stethoscope on her chest and says "big breaths." The girl beams proudly and says "Yeth! I am only thixteen!"

Man: Why should I stop eating deep fried cheese because you heard something in your horoscope?

Doctor: Once again, it's stethoscope.

A lady goes to the doctor...

The doctor uses a stethoscope to measure the heartbeat of the lady and immediately discovered something strange.

Doctor: I'm sorry to say this but it's fatal and you do not have long to live

Lady: How long?

Doctor: Ten

Lady: Ten? Ten what?!

Doctor: Nine...

Stethoscope joke, A lady goes to the doctor...

Little Susie goes to the doctor...

Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, "Ok now, big breathes."
Susie says, "I know! And I'm only 12!"

A man goes to the doctor for a check-up

After a while the doctor says "Sir you're going to have to stop masturbating."

"Why what for?" the man says.

The doctor puts down his stethoscope and says "Because I'm in the middle of examining you!"

Young woman goes to the doctor

complaining of chest pains ...big breaths said the doctor as he placed his stethoscope ...yeth she says and I'm only thixteen


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stethoscope physician jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stethoscope thixteen piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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