Following is our collection of Sternly jokes which are very funny. There are some sternly defiantly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sternly intently puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?
Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him
Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies
Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, It's you. I can tell by the voice.
She looks at him sternly and says "If you don't stop before I count to 3, we're going home!"
1...
2...
2 and a half...
2 and three quarters...
2 and five sevenths...
Just then a man taps her on the shoulder and hands her his business card. Hi I work for Gabe Newell, co-founder of Valve, and we're looking for a new Vice President. I think you're just what we're looking for. Call me on Monday and we'll talk.
The baby turned out to be white. The father looked sternly at the mother and said: "Two Wongs don't make a white."
A sternly worded letter from the ethics committee and your funding revoked.
And sees two overweight women sitting at the bar. He approaches them, and asks Are you two girls from Britain? . To this, one of the women reply sternly It's Wales you idiot! . So, the man excuses himself, and asks them again: Sorry, are you two whales from Britain?
It's the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women's dorms past eight o'clock at night, it's fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.
One pledge raises his hand and asks, How much for a season pass?
The mortician sternly asked me to leave the morgue.
God and Moses were up in heaven when out of the blue Moses said God I really love heaven and find it really cool, but it is starting to get a bit boring up here. Why don't we go down to Earth and have some fun with the local girls down there?
God looked at him sternly and said No way Moses, I did that 2000 years ago and they are still talking about it!
Guy bursts into a dentist's office and says "HEY, listen here buddy, you have to help me NOW: my teeth are SO sensitive they can sense impending EARTHQUAKES" the dentist looked at him sternly for a moment and said "you've got some nerve"
The waiter looks at him sternly, No sir, I'm very sure he intends to eat it himself".
You can explore sternly calmly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sternly cautiously dad jokes. There are also sternly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
He sternly told me "and you can save that until you're married!"
Imagine his shock when I turned up 12 years later at the evening reception with three buckets full and asked him what I was supposed to do with it now.
So there's this new tampon in the store, and he's complaining about how he hates his job and wishes he was something better. His complaining starts to really annoy everyone when an older tampon walks up, slaps him, and looks him sternly in the eyes and says, "Suck it up."
A little boy answered a knock at the door to find a well-dressed woman.
"Is your mother home?" she asked, politely.
"Uh uh," he said.
"Okay," she said, put off by his lack of manners. "Is your father home?"
"Nope. He done gone to work and he ain't gonna be back 'til after dinner."
"Young man," she said sternly. "Where's your grammar?"
"She's in the kitchen... Bakin' cookies."
*
"This this this this this," I replied.
"Stick to your guns."
The first two walk up to the bar. The bartender looks at them sternly and says, "One of you two better fuckin' order something."
I will sternly say "I WILL NOT stand for this young man/woman... however, I WILL sit down.. now light that $#!\* up"
A cowboy and a giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking, a few hours pass and the giraffe is passed out on the floor and the cowboy finishes his last drink and start s stumbling towards the door.
The bartender yells "hey you can leave that lying there!"
The cowboy looks sternly at the bartender and says "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sternly son jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working sternly father piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.