The Best 34 Stern Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stern jokes. There are some stern grim jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stern ethics puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stern Jokes and Puns

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?

An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee

Jimmy approached his teacher

After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!

Single Ladies.

A woman was once buying a very large cucumber, some condoms, and some Vaseline. She gets up to the checkout counter and the cashier says, "I can tell you're single." The flirtatious woman replies, "Oh really, how can you tell that?" The man looks at her with a stern face and says, "Because you're ugly."

Stern joke, Single Ladies.

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?

A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.

What is the strictest part of a ship?

The stern

Today my son was sent home from school for receiving a hand-job from a girl in his class for the third time this year. Each time this has happened he has been given a stern talking to from the principal and had to change schools.

Tired of constantly moving around, I said to him "Son if this keeps happening
they are going to ban you from teaching altogether."

What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?

Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.

Stern joke, What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?

What do you get when you cross a shark and a giraffe?

A stern reprimand from the bioethics committee.

A man walks into a fancy bar

A man walks into a fancy bar. The bartender says, "Sir, you cannot be in here without a tie." The man walks back to his car and finds some jumper cables, and makes a tie out of them. He walks back in to the fancy bar and gets a stern look from the bartender who says, "That will do, but please don't start anything."

What do you get when you cross a lion with an octopus?

A stern rebuke from the scientific community and a immediate withdrawal of funding

What do get if you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant?

A stern letter from the scientific ethics committee.

You can explore stern hull reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stern strict dad jokes. There are also stern puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a polar bear?

A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee

Little Jimmy was sleeping in class when...

The teacher saw him dozing off and interrupted his nap.

He said in a stern tone: "Jimmy, you know you can't sleep in class."

Jimmy retorted: "Yeah, but if you were a little quieter I could."

Which part of a ship is the most serious?

The stern.

I'm like Hank Hill when I'm in an argument.

Stern, no nonsense, and my urethra narrows.

After a night out with friends a man comes stumbling home late

He's greeted by his wife looking stern with her arms crossed.
She exclaims "Drunk again!"
He replies "Me too!"

Stern joke, After a night out with friends a man comes stumbling home late

A husband came home to his wife in tears.

I've been insulted, she sobbed. Your mother insulted me.

My mother! he exclaimed. But she lives in a different city.

I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.

He looked stern, I see, but where does the insult come in?

In the postscript, she answered.

It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George'.

I'm very stern in reminding people to tip generously when they go eat somewhere

Especially somewhere like my house.

Why was the boat disobedient?

Nobody gave it a stern talking to.

A man is struggling with origami,

He calls his teacher over for help,
His teacher reply's in a stern voice
so what's unfolding here then?

So a tough guy walks in a bar...

He goes and takes a seat at the middle of the bar.

He says in a stern voice " Everyone to my left is a bunch of sissy's ...and everyone to my right is a bunch of queers "

A flamboyant voice from the back yells " I'm on the wrong side ! "

Why is the rear end of a boat so tough?

It's made of stern stuff.

What happens to a sailor who stands too far aft?

He gets a stern warning.

Why is the rear of a ship so hard to impress?

Cause they only give stern looks of disapproval.

Kids career choice

I asked my son what he wanted to do for a living. He's a smart kid, I thought he wanted to be an engineer or doctor. He told me with a stern face he wanted to be a scarecrow. I didn't get it at first, but then I saw that he is outstanding in that field.

I need to be able to remember this joke when I'm sober in the morning so I'll share it here.

I thought the pirates would throw me overboard when I was caught in bed with the captain's daughter.

But thankfully they let me off with a stern warning

Happy 65th birthday to Howard Stern

...And happy 20th to his hair, happy 30th to his legs, and happy 10th to his new teeth.

Did you know that Bruce Lee had a very stern, no-nonsense father?

Serious Lee.

[Maybe OC] Did you hear about the man who got arrested for looking at stern clocks?

He was facing some serious time

Why I don't like boats

If no one bows, everyone gets stern.

The thing about boats...

If we don't bow, everyone gets stern.

What do you call a Shock Jock that goes clean?

Showered Stern. I'll see myself out.

Authorities fear 'affluenza' teen may have fled the country, but vow: 'We're going to find you'

... and give you a stern talking-to.

An wizened old Indian chief, with a stern face and feathered headdress, sees a beautiful mermaid and says…


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stern confident jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stern applaud piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes