Stephen Hawking Jokes
132 stephen hawking jokes and hilarious stephen hawking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stephen hawking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Stephen Hawking Short Jokes
Short stephen hawking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stephen hawking humour may include short steven hawking jokes also.
- Everyone is a fan of Stephen hawking now that he died. I bet they can't name even 3 of his songs.
- What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.
- My biology teacher asked me what was the ugliest vegetable IMO. Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.
- Stephen Hawking diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.
- Stephen Hawkings' last paper on space is finally going to published posthumously... It's about time too.
- When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me It's like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking
- What do Stephen Hawking and Tony hawk have in common? The both love ramps.
- What's the quietest album in the world? Stephen Hawking - unplugged
- Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning Because I can't get out of bed.
- Stephen Hawking If Stephen hawking started a company, What would his position in the company be?
The Chairman
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Stephen Hawking One Liners
Which stephen hawking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stephen hawking? I can suggest the ones about stephen hawkins and hawking.
- How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5
- Jesus may have walked on water... But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries
- There is no God -Stephen Hawking, 2011 There is no Stephen Hawking God, 2018
- Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up
- What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing.
- I've tried calling Stephen Hawking many times I keep getting his answering machine
- First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii? Tough year for the Electronic community.
- Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities.
- What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer broke?
- What do scientists and vegetables have in common? Stephen Hawking
- Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too.
- Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? Because he's white.
- I finally got around to reading that book by Stephen Hawking. It was about time.
- Stephen Hawking can be pretty funny sometimes, But I dont think he could do standup
- Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card? . .Cos I really need bits for my kids go-kart
Fun-Filled Stephen Hawking Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about stephen hawking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stephen king jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stephen hawking pranks.
2 "black" questions that aren't racist.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
What's black and screaming? stevie wonder answering the iron.
How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever?
He knows a lot about black holes
Physicist Frank Wilczek states that there is life on other planets...
Profesor Stephen Hawking maintains his position.
I've been waiting on Stephen Hawking to tell his racist joke...
I mean, it's got to be a good one – he's been looking over his shoulder for years.
(from my brother Heath).
Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?
He never changes his position.
Have you seen the new Stephen Hawking's movie?
They say it's too good you won't be able to move from your seat the entire film.
John Oliver interviews Stephen Hawking. John Oliver: "You've stated that you believe that there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean, that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you?"
My Stephen Hawking book finally arrived from eBay.
It's about time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an e**...?
Hot wheels
(First joke, hope you like it.)
Stephen Hawking is an inspiration
He's earned millions in the past 10 years without lifting a finger.
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I just tried to woo Stephen Hawking.
But I don't think I pushed the right b**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If it walks and talks like Stephen Hawking...
It's probably not Stephen Hawking.
I tried changing my facebook name into Stephen Hawking
but it said the username is invalid.
Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?
Because he has his own shoulder to cry on.
The Physics Department didn't like my Stephen Hawking jokes...
...They all got bent out of shape.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stephen Hawking's cleaner once j**... him off while he was sleeping.
It was a s**... of genius.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does Stephen Hawking have s**...?
Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace...
What has hands but can't clap?
Stephen Hawking
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
One more...what's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire. I'm so sorry
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I gotta hand it to Stephen Hawking
because he can't catch.
Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number?
Everytime I call, a machine answers.
Who would win in a fight between Muhammad Ali and Stephen Hawking?
Parkinson's
"I can't stand when people say they hate both of the presidential candidates."
--Stephen Hawking
Stephen Hawking seems to be a very emotional person
He is even moved by his chair
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Durex's "eggplant Flavoured" c**... won't be the first time a woman's being pleasured by a vegetable.
Just ask Mrs. Stephen Hawking.
What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?
Stephen Hawking.
A lot of people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...
Stephen Hawking disagrees.
Where did Stephen Hawking find his wife
The vegetable isle
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite pet?
tamagotchi
Walking Talking
Stephen Hawking
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Knowledge is Power
They always say knowledge is power, but I'm pretty sure I can beat up Stephen Hawking.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?
Satisfaction
What has legs but never runs?
Stephen Hawking
Stephen Hawking says we only have 1000 more years left as a civilization
He's just mad that we haven't figured out how to get him out of that wheelchair by now
What if Stephen Hawking
Is the real Slim Shady but he can't stand up
People ask me what's my favorite vegetable.
Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer.
I used to use alcohol as a crutch at parties
Now it's more like Stephen Hawking's computer-chair
I saw Stephen Hawkings the other day and tried to say hi to him.
He said, "Sorry, I gotta roll."
Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man
He's always looking over his shoulder.
What do you get when you combine Richard Simmons with Stephen Hawking?
A fruit and a vegetable.
What was Stephen Hawking when he was younger?
Stephen Walking
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What happened when Stephen Hawking's wife gave him a h**...?
She had a s**... of genius.
Apparently, anything Stephen Hawking reads is considered a "short story"
Since he can read it in one sitting
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Stephen Hawking is actually the real Slim Slady
He just can't stand up.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his communication device hit an error?
body.exe unable to run
There's only one vegetable I like
Stephen Hawking
TIL Stephen Hawking is British
Never realized because of his accent.
What's Stephen Hawking's least favorite kind of comedy?
Standup.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Stephen Hawking and Richard Hammond have in common?
They both have poor motor skills.
Have you seen Stephen Hawking's new communication device?
It really speaks for itself.
I like to be positive
Even though I'm unemployed and recently got evicted, I could still destroy Stephen Hawking in a 100m dash.
Stephen Hawking recently released his most recent book. He has spent the last 15 years writing it.
It's about time.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad comedian?
He can't do stand-up.
Stephen Hawking
If you lose Stephen Hawking, do you report a missing person or a stolen laptop?
What vegetable makes you smarter?
Stephen Hawking
What do you call a vegetable that's sorta cool?
Stephen Hawking
How do we know it's Stephen Hawking talking and not just the black box?
There are no ads.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when Stephen Hawking gets a r**... hard on?
A bonerfied genius.
Please help: I have a question...
I have a question for Stephen Hawking but whenever I call him I can only reach his answering machine.
Why did Stephen Hawking get deferred from the cryogenics lab?
Because the doctors knew you shouldn't freeze vegetables.
I hear they've introduced a new category to the grammies
The quietest album; and the award goes to:
Stephen Hawking... Unplugged
Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest
Stephen Hawking won by a landslide
Earbud tangles are so bad...
Even the smartest people currently alive are having trouble untangling earbuds...
Like Stephen Hawking
