Step Mom Jokes
32 step mom jokes and hilarious step mom puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about step mom that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Step Mom Short Jokes
Short step mom jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The step mom humour may include short step dad jokes also.
- Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay. Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay.
Mom: *gasp*
Dad: *clenches fists*
Mom: Honey, stop!
Dad: *steps forward*
Mom: N-
Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD. - Step on a crack, break your momma's back! So then I went on a walk with my family. I stepped on a crack, looked at my mom, and said "Why didn't your back break, mom?"
"You're adopted." - One step at a time Divorced dad: Son I'm going to marry again
Son: so I'm going to have a step mom
Dad: also she is pregnant
Son: oh no please one step at a time - So two cannibals are sitting in a forest, and one of them says to the other, "Gee, I really hate my step-mom." The other one replies "Well why don't you try the potatoes?"
- They say to always follow your gut Your mom must be pretty intuitive, her gut is always 2 steps ahead of her
- My mom and dad were both ladders. Things were pretty great until they got divorced. It was rough at first until they both remarried and I got two new step ladders.
- My dad and step-mom went on vacation. He had to come home early and asked me to pick up my step-mom at the airport. Boy was he surprised when she agreed to sleep with me.
- My Dad wanted more kids, But my mom didn't... She was really committed to the 12-step program. Every time she got pregnant she would throw her self down a flight of stairs.
- Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".
- I went to wake up my parents and accidentally stepped on my moms bra. It was a b**... trap
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Step Mom One Liners
Which step mom one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with step mom? I can suggest the ones about stepdad and mom dad.
- My mom's new husband gave me his ladder. It's now my step ladder.
- How did 9/11 really happen? Your mom stepped into the World Trade Center
- I call my mom and step-dads marriage " 12 years a s**...". He is the s**....
Cheerful Fun Step Mom Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about step mom you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean daughter mother jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make step mom pranks.
My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and p**......"
So I took off her bra and p**....
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"
Little Johnny and his ball.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer."
My step-sister walked into my room one day and
My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and p**......"
So I took off her bra and p**....
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"
Johnny was in class one day...
and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have s**... with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. She asked Johnny if his dad was really a stripper in a gay bar and Johnny said "Absolutely not. He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that."
p**... Training
Little Johnny was just being p**... trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull f**... back
4. Pee
5. Push f**... forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did a good job.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...
Jesus and the woman taken in adultery
The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"
All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarely in the face. Furiously, Jesus storms through the crowd to see who dared to, who thinks himself to be without sin. He finds the thrower, grimaces and stomps his feet.
"Stop doing this! You always do that, always you have to embarrass me in front of my friends, MOM!"
Swimming
So i translated this Serbian joke (but i dont speak english good) hope that u will get it
Two friends are talking and one say :
-My mom married again, and my step-father is teaching me how to swim!
-So, how is it going?
-Nice! I already learned how to get myself out of the sack!
My Encounter With My Step-Mom
My step mom came to me and demanded that I take all her clothes off. So I took off her blouse. She said, Now off with my skirt. I did, and she continued, Now take off my stockings. And when I did that, she said, Now my bra and the p**.... I took them off. She continued, And don't ever let me catch you wearing my stuff again!
Two brothers are fighting…
… in front of their mother and it starts to turn violent. The mother tries to intervene and stop the fight. The younger brother who is taking the brunt of the hits gets frustrated that he couldn't get as many punches his brother landed says, Step aside b**... . The elder brother hearing this gets angry and kicks him and says, How dare you call Mom a b**..., you son of a b**...!!
Little Johnny Catches his Dad and Step-Mom Having s**...
Dad: It's OK Little Johnny, I'm just filling your step-mom's tank..........
Little Johnny: Really? Well, you should trade her for a woman that gets better mileage. The Postman already filled her up this morning.
My mom just got remarried and invited me over to meet her new husband.
When I got to her house, I found a strange man laying on the stairs to her porch. He looked up at me, grinned, and held out his hand. "Hi, I'm your new *step-*father."
Cats are just as smart/loving as dogs.
Unbeknownst to me my Mom had a s**... and collapsed one morning. Her cat came running up the steps and meowing non-stop. She ran up and down the steps until finally I followed her down to the kitchen. And there, sure enough - her food bowl was empty
Chuck Norris once stepped on a crack, it apologized and fixed his mom's back.
There was a posts I found last night where people shared Chuck Norris jokes and I wanted to share a (hopefully) original one.
A teacher asked a white student, a black student and a Mexican student to use the words "cheese" and "liver" in a sentence
The white kid answered, "My mom made liver and cheese for dinner".
The teacher said that was very good.
The black kid said, "I would never eat cheese on liver, that is g**...."
The teacher said that was very good.
The Mexican kid says if some dude tried to step to my girl I would say, "Liver alone! Cheese my girl!"
Dad! I accidentally stepped on this butterfly…
Well you know what that means son, no butter for you for a month. The boy was upset and went back into the house. The next day the boy was playing in the garden again.
Dad! I accidentally killed a honeybee. The father looks at his son.
Well no honey for you for a month. The boy was upset and went inside the house. A few hours later the boy went up to his dad.
Dad! Mom just killed a cockroach.
(Old but gold lol)
A young couple got together and started making out.
One thing led to another, and soon they were about to have s**.... Just then they realise that neither of them really know what to do. The girl said she'd ask her mom about the steps. Her mom said that both have to undress and then she should grab the hardest part of his body and put it inside where she pees. So, she put his head in the toilet.
My dad and my step-mom kicked me out of the house today right after I introduced them to my pregnant girlfriend.
Apparently it's t**... to be in a relationship with your step-sister.
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.
As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.
On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming.
The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.”
She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing.
“That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself.
Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises.
“Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.”
“You’re absolutely right sweetheart,
”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
“Now why were you laughing?” she asked.
“You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered.
“True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
“Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter.
“Why was it so quiet in your room last night?”
“Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
My mom complimented me on how many steps my Fitbit was registering...
Next time, I'll take it off before m**....