Step Jokes
161 step jokes and hilarious step puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about step that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny step jokes that will make you laugh out loud! This article includes twelve step jokes, multi-step jokes, two step jokes, thirteen step jokes, the next step jokes, three step jokes, first step jokes, staircase jokes, stride jokes, and SNU jokes. Have fun and get ready to be in stitches!
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Funniest Step Short Jokes
Short step jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The step humour may include short stein jokes also.
- How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an oracle. Step two: Prophet.
- What is the most sensitive part of your body while pleasuring yourself? Your ear listening for foot steps.
- A joke I remember making up when I was 7 : What do you get when a giant steps on a house? Mushrooms
- Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 4:
Step 7:
Step 12:
Step 18:
Step 25:
Hospital - Ebay needs to step their game up. I searched for a cigarette lighter and 15,000 matches came up.
- Elon Musk lands on mars and steps out of his spaceship ### "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says the ground control officer and cuts off all communications.
- In a safety meeting at work they asked me what steps I'd take in a fire Apparently "Really big and fast ones" was the wrong answer.
- You know why I hate elevators? Half the time they are up to something, the other half they are just bringing you down. I should really start taking steps to avoid them..
- Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.
- I've been reading a book called How To Use A ladder Well, it's more of a step-by-step guide.
Share These Step Jokes With Friends
Step One Liners
Which step one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with step? I can suggest the ones about stab and stance.
- How to become a millionaire: Step One: Be a billionaire
Step Two: Short sell $GME - How to Fall Down the Stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 5
Step 9
Step 12
Floor - I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them.
- Step 1: Be named Muhammed. Step 2: Get some followers. Step 3: Prophet.
- Instructions how to fall down stairs: Step 1
Step 2
Step 4
Step 14 - I'm glad I wasn't close to my dad when he died He stepped on a landmine
- What does a grape say when you step on it? Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.
- How to fall down stairs * Step 1
* Step 2
* Step 4
* Step 15 - I'm terrified of elevators. So I'm taking steps to mitigate my fears.
- I have a fear of elevators... ...but I'm taking steps to avoid it.
- How to fall down stairs Step 1
Step 6
Step 8, 9, 11, 12 - I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.
- I'm terrified of elevators I take steps to avoid them
- How do you marry a country girl? Step 1: A tractor
Step 2: Fertilizer - My girlfriend said she wanted to try lunges. That's a big step forward.
First Step Jokes
Here is a list of funny first step jokes and even better first step puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you're thinking about joining Hypochondriacs Anonymous remember... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
- What are the two steps to marrying a country girl? First; a tractor.
Next; fertilizer. - I stepped on snail once as a child. I guess it was my first crush.
- At Hypochondriacs Anonymous.... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
- My first dad joke My step daughter told me she wanted to write a book called The Language of Farts. I said knowing her it would be a New York Times best smeller!
- What's the first step to making a series about flying a plane? Filming the pilot
- What's the first step in making Bronco cookies? Beat em in a bowl for three hours.
- I fell off a 40 foot ladder Luckily it was the first step
- What's the first step when dating a country girl? A tractor.
- A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery.. But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said "I stand corrected".
2 Step Jokes
Here is a list of funny 2 step jokes and even better 2 step puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How to fall down the stairs Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 6.
Step 11.
Step 16.
Floor. - What is the fastest way to become a millionaire? Step 1: become a billionaire.
Step 2: buy an EA game. - Instructions for falling down stairs... Step 1
Step 2
Step 4
Step 8 - How to turn your tongue into very own super hero! Step 1: place tongue between teeth
Step 2: bite down. Hard.
Step 3: your tongue should now be Thor. - Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed. Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?
Man 2: I prefer the ladder.
Man 1: ok, step stool it is. - Russia's Three Steps to Homework Step 1. Putin it off
Step 2. Stalin
Step 3. Russian to finish - I saw a man getting mugged by 2 dudes so I stepped in to help he didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us
- 3 steps to fix anything 1. Try duct tape, if that doesn't work, see 2
2. Try gorilla glue, if that doesn't work, see 3
3. Try J.B. Weld, if that doesn't work, C4 - How to fall down the stairs. Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 7.
Step 11.
Step 17. - How to fall down the stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 4,6,9,13,18,24
Three Step Jokes
Here is a list of funny three step jokes and even better three step puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I saw an old man get robbed by three guys today, so I decided to step in. He didn't stand a chance against the four of us!
- Steps on how to fall down stairs. Step one:
Step three:
Step seven:
Step nine:
Step thirteen:
Step twenty:
Floor: - My girl wants to travel so bad I told her to pick up a basketball and take three step
- Just the other day I was walking down the street when I saw a man being attacked by three masked men, so I had no other choice but to step in. He didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us.
- Anyone hear the one about the three legged chess player? Some say he's always a step ahead of the competition.
- I saw a child getting beaten up by two men so I had to step in… He didn't stand a chance against the three of us
- What are the three steps Matthew McConaughey takes to make a left turn? All right, all right, all right
- How to fall down the stairs: Step One...
Step Two...
Step Three-and-a-Half...
Step Seven...
Steps Ten through Fifteen. - How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator in three steps? 1. You open the door.
2. You put the elephant inside.
3. You close the door. - How to: Climb a staircase. Step one, Step two,
Step three,
Step four...
Step Ladder Jokes
Here is a list of funny step ladder jokes and even better step ladder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer? The former is a ladder and the latter is a former.
- My friend was showing me his tool shed. He pointed to a ladder.
"That's my step ladder," he said.
"I never met my real ladder." - I have a step ladder I never met my real ladder .
- I have a step ladder its a nice ladder, but I wish I knew my real ladder.
- I fell off of a 20 foot ladder today at work. Thankfully I was on the bottom step.
- This is my step ladder... I never knew my real ladder...
- My mom's new husband gave me his ladder. It's now my step ladder.
- I have a step-ladder I've never known my biological ladder
- I fell of a 50ft ladder today! Luckily, I was only on the second step.
- How to climb a ladder Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
12 Step Jokes
Here is a list of funny 12 step jokes and even better 12 step puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Instructions for falling down the stairs: Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.
- Man my friends are such jerks, as soon as I tell them I'm a dance addict... ...what do they do? Put me in this amazing 12-step program.
- There's a 12-step program for pun users. But it dozen work.
- There's a new 12 step program for people who can't stop talking. On-and-on-anon.
- Jesus Christ, 12 years old, steps out of his home but neglects to close the door behind him. Mary: Hold on, son! Were you born in a barn?
- There should be a 12 step program for people who talk too much... On-and-on anon
- I gave step counter to my son. He managed to do 12,000 steps without leaving his room.
- "The 12 boys stranded in a flooded cave system in Thailand have started diving lessons in the latest step in efforts to bring them out alive." I think they've hired Naymar.
- We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. It would be called On Anon Anon.
- Today I conquered my fear of public speaking and gave a rousing, powerful speech about how nobody likes a quitter. ...aaaand they kicked me out of the 12-step program.
Comical & Quirky Step Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about step you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make step pranks.
I saw two kids fighting on the elementary school playground and being the only adult around, I had to step in...
Little b**... didn't stand a chance…
RIP Neil Armstrong
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "o**... s**...? o**... s**... you want? You'll get o**... s**... when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
Three women and ducks
Three women die in a car accident and go to heaven when they are at the gate god tells them that there is only one rule and that is that you may not step on a duck. They women enter and do their best to enjoy heaven while being cautious about where they step for there are ducks everywhere. After about a week one of the three women steps on a duck and suddenly this old, smelly, repulsive and hairy man is chained to her for life. This only makes the other women more careful and another month passes by when a second of the three women steps on a duck. Then chained to her is a man more repulsive then the first. The third woman becomes ever so cautious and make it a whole year without treading upon a duck. Chained to her is a handsom, muscular and wonderful gentleman. She says to him "What happened to you?" he replies " I stepped on a duck..."
Miniskirt
A small crowd gathers at a bus stop. A b**... blonde in a tight top and even tighter miniskirt shows up same time as the bus. Being a gentleman, a man lets her onto the bus first.
She goes to take her first step up the bus stairs, her legs are unable to take the step. The miniskirt was far too tight. Smiling apologetically to everyone, she reaches back to unzips the zipper a little. She attempts to step up the stairs, again, the skirt is still too tight. She reaches around her back, unzips the zipper a little. Smiling once more, she attempts to step up. Sigh, the skirt is still too tight, she reaches behind her a third time.
Two large hands grab her by the waist, lifting her up and placing her at the top of the steps. "Get your hands off me! How dare you touch me," she squealed.
"Ma'am, as much as I don't mind," the gentleman paused,"you were pulling down my zipper".
Why can't Stephen Hawking dance?
Because he's white.
I bought a book on how to build stairs
Its a step by step guide
I stepped on a rusty Lego the other day...
I'm worried I might have contracted Tetris.
Step on a crack, break your momma's back!
So then I went on a walk with my family. I stepped on a crack, looked at my mom, and said "Why didn't your back break, mom?"
"You're adopted."
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer broke?
How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?
F5
Shout out to my arms for always being by my side...
& my legs for being there every step of the way
a stepfather walks in on his stepdaughter
a stepfather walks into his stepdaughter's room, as he walks in he sees his stepdaughter pleasuring herself with a cucumber, in disgust he leaves her room as fast as possible
he then says,"d**... I was gonna eat that!..................
now it will taste like cucumber"
I asked my Dad if we could get any pets...
He said pets are just a step backwards.
How does Stephen Hawking have s**...?
Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace...
Just saw two elementary school kids in a fistfight...
So as an adult, I had to step in.
They didn't stand a chance.
I built a staircase using an online tutorial!
When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step.
What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?
Nothing.
I have a stepladder...
...because my real ladder left when I was a kid.
Saw my ex-gf being beaten up by 4 guys, so as a human being I had to step in and help..
She didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us
Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline.
Why is Stephen Hawking successful?
He can't run away from his responsibilities.
Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space.
It's about time, too.
Buzz Aldrin was the second man to step foot on the moon.
Neil before him. Neil.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?
Because he can't do stand up
I have a stepladder.
I never knew my real ladder.
Why I Joined the Air Force
The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.
People are like trashcans
When you step on their feet, their mouth opens.
Tommy comes back off his holiday with his mum and his step dad and the teacher asks him...
"Hello Tommy, did you enjoy your holiday?"
"I did Teacher"
"And did your stepdad take you out, show you things, go exploring?"
"Yes he did teacher, he took me out rowing 1/2 a mile into the lake every day, and then I'd swim back."
"Oh, well, um, it's an awful long way to swim isn't, 1/2 a mile?"
"Oh no teacher, no, it was easy once I'd got out of the bag!"
A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs"...
Step 1
Step 6
Step 8, 9, 10, 11...
The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…
Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or j**...."
Jill replies, "You'll have to j**... then, 'cause I've got a headache."
When you die, you come one step closer to God.
You don't exist.
I saw a guy getting jumped by 4 people so I decided to step in and help...
That guy stood no chance against the 5 of us.
Stephen Hawking diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.
It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.
An idiot has a mirror in his closet
He wakes up one night and opens the closet and he sees himself. Scared, he quickly calls the cops
"Police! There's a burglar in my closet, come quickly!"
A police man arrives at the idiots house and opens the closet and finds the mirror. He takes a step back and slaps the idiot as hard as he can
"Why did you call me when you already had a policeman inside?!"
Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.
The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.
Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.
What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis?
Nuclear division.
So there I was hard at work
Then all of a sudden my boss tells me to step out of the meeting because I was making my colleagues uncomfortable
Why is Stephen such a neutral name?
Because its pH is in the middle.
First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii?
Tough year for the Electronic community.
My wife conceived on the staircase
I guess I have a step child now
Saw a group of 4 guys beating up an old guy earlier and decided to step in
He never stood a chance against 5 of us
One time I saw 4 kids bullying another kid so I decided to step in
He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us
Stephen Hawking d**... joke
Why did Steven hawking never get a b**...?
Cause google blocked his pop up !
My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and p**......"
So I took off her bra and p**....
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"
A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR -- all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear"
A guy says to his wife: "Thanks to that new scale you bought, I always know how much I p**...!"
Wife: "So you step on the scale before you p**..., go to the toilet, step on the scale again and the difference is the weight of your p**...?
He: Oh, yeah, I guess you could also do it that way...
What happens when you step on a grape?
It let's out a little wine
Did you know that Stephen King has a son named Joe?
I'm not joking, but he is
Stephen Hawkings' last paper on space is finally going to published posthumously...
It's about time too.
My wife told me last week that I needed to exercise more and do lunges.
But that's a huge step forward.
How to cook crack and clean c**...:
Step one: use commas
A group of police officers are sitting outside a woman's house after she murdered her husband
One calls dispatch and says "we got a woman armed with a knife in here and she just killed her husband."
Dispatch says "do you know why she killed her husband?"
The officer replies "yeah, she told him not to step on the floor right after she mopped, and he stepped on it anyway"
Dispatch asks "well do you have her in custody yet?"
"No not yet" the officer says
Dispatch says "Why not?"
The officer hesitates for a moment, then finally replies "well the floor still looks wet"
At the check out at Walmart and my son is sitting in the cart seat…
I've already pulled him and the cart up to past the check out folks so I could start putting bags in the cart. The women in the lane over says, Oh hello there handsome! Obviously talking to my son, however I shout back, Oh hey! How's it going?
The woman checking us out laughed so hard she had to take a step back and the woman I said it to was so red faced and chuckling she couldn't really say much! The few folks in line began laughing too so it was pretty funny and the epitome of dad joke! Ha! I've made it!
I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs.
It's a step by step guide.
