Following is our collection of funny Step Dad jokes. There are some step dad steve aoki jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these step dad mother puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making farting engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing
He stepped on a landmine
My wife and I were stepping out to the neighbors for a get together and she is staying home tonight, so I reviewed the ground rules - don't answer the door, let the dog out the back door, call us if you need, etc.
She looked at me and said You know the rules, and so do I
Rickrolled as a dad joke.
Later, called to remind her to let the dog, who is a white goldendoodle, out. Speech to text screwed up and put make sure Ginger isn't at the door into make sure Ginger isn't at the bar
The reply?
Too late, she's white dog wasted
We have a natural here…
So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."
So I took off her bra and panties.
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"
My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:
Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."
Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."
Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"
Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"
Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!"
Me: "Alright, I'm not going to say that anymore."
Her: "Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore."
I had just been out-dad-joked by my five-year-old. It was so unexpected, and was the first time I think I recognized how hilarious she was with her wit. I really miss her (because of a divorce, not a funeral).
Which was lucky, because he stepped on a Landmine.
"Hello Tommy, did you enjoy your holiday?"
"I did Teacher"
"And did your stepdad take you out, show you things, go exploring?"
"Yes he did teacher, he took me out rowing 1/2 a mile into the lake every day, and then I'd swim back."
"Oh, well, um, it's an awful long way to swim isn't, 1/2 a mile?"
"Oh no teacher, no, it was easy once I'd got out of the bag!"
I've already pulled him and the cart up to past the check out folks so I could start putting bags in the cart. The women in the lane over says, Oh hello there handsome! Obviously talking to my son, however I shout back, Oh hey! How's it going?
The woman checking us out laughed so hard she had to take a step back and the woman I said it to was so red faced and chuckling she couldn't really say much! The few folks in line began laughing too so it was pretty funny and the epitome of dad joke! Ha! I've made it!
Before he died, he scribbled me a note. They were his last words. I decided not to open it till I was ready. A year later, I opened it and this is what is said, "You are stepping on my oxygen line".
Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay.
Mom: *gasp*
Dad: *clenches fists*
Mom: Honey, stop!
Dad: *steps forward*
Mom: N-
Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD.
You can explore step dad leap mankind reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean step dad atomic wedgie dad jokes. There are also step dad puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
He said pets are just a step backwards.
and his step-dad says "you're right, because I'm here right now".
My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."
So I took off her bra and panties.
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"
Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.
Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the hole.
Now the old bearded guy steps up and just hits the ball with all his strength. The ball goes flying! It then proceeds to hit a nearby rooftop, bounce along the grass and land on a lily pad. A frog appears and eats the golf ball. Then out of nowhere a bird picks up the frog in its talons and flies off. As the bird flies over the green, the frog spits out the ball and it manages to land the ball in the hole...
After witnessing this Moses turns towards Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."
and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have sex with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. She asked Johnny if his dad was really a stripper in a gay bar and Johnny said "Absolutely not. He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that."
and they come up to the par 3. Moses steps up to take a swing and plop, right in the pond. So he steps up to the water, raises his hands and separates the water. He strolls up and chips it into the hole for a birdie. Jesus' turn and he plunks it in the drink, too. He walks on the water, takes a swing and chips it in for a birdie.
The old man steps up to the tee and takes a swing. And, you guessed it, he drops it into the water. Just then a fish swims up and gobbles the ball, a hawk comes flying in from the sky and swoops up the fish. Over the green, the bird lets go of the fish, who slams against the ground. letting the ball go... which rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Dad, quit showing off."
Beats me.
My step daughter told me she wanted to write a book called The Language of Farts. I said knowing her it would be a New York Times best smeller!
Divorced dad: Son I'm going to marry again
Son: so I'm going to have a step mom
Dad: also she is pregnant
Son: oh no please one step at a time
One of my wife's primary School's student was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, Are you tracking your steps? No, said the little girl. I wear this for Mum so she can show Dad when he gets home.
Dad: It's OK Little Johnny, I'm just filling your step-mom's tank..........
Little Johnny: Really? Well, you should trade her for a woman that gets better mileage. The Postman already filled her up this morning.
I know he is in a better place. He is following my every step, watching my every move and listening to my every word. Congratulations dad for you 10 year work anniversary at Google.
In honor of my Grandpa, here is my favorite Dad joke, that he told me when I was a young one, and that I, in turn, have shared with each of my kids.
How to catch a polar bear:
Step 1: Go to a frozen lake way up north.
Step 2: Cut a 6 foot hole in the ice
Step 3: Place frozen peas all along the border of the hole in the ice.
Step 4: Hide
Step 5: When a polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
Which was lucky, because he stepped on a land mine.
Step-son: Am I going to have to pour hot melted cheese all over myself?
Step-dad: Why would you have to do that?
Step-son: To remind you that I'm NACHO son
So I now refer to him as my Faux Pas.
Well you know what that means son, no butter for you for a month. The boy was upset and went back into the house. The next day the boy was playing in the garden again.
Dad! I accidentally killed a honeybee. The father looks at his son.
Well no honey for you for a month. The boy was upset and went inside the house. A few hours later the boy went up to his dad.
Dad! Mom just killed a cockroach.
(Old but gold lol)
Found On Road Dead
My step dad is a super Chevy guy and told me this when I was young, drop your best Chevy/Ford jokes
the new Paranormal Activity 3 is about a ghost who stalks little girls and makes them play with him late at night when the mum and step-dad are not around.
Glad to see Michael Jackson back to his old tricks.
Dyson.
Things were pretty great until they got divorced. It was rough at first until they both remarried and I got two new step ladders.
Apparently it's taboo to be in a relationship with your step-sister.
I'm not sure what to call him without offending him
Papa Guinea
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the step dad stephen curry jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working step dad stacey piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.