The Best 35 Step Dad Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Step Dad jokes. There are some step dad steve aoki jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these step dad mother puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Step Dad Jokes and Puns

SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Told an inmate to have a safe drive home.

I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:

Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making farting engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing

I'm glad I wasn't close to my dad when he died

He stepped on a landmine

My daughter, 10, won tonight

My wife and I were stepping out to the neighbors for a get together and she is staying home tonight, so I reviewed the ground rules - don't answer the door, let the dog out the back door, call us if you need, etc.

She looked at me and said You know the rules, and so do I

Rickrolled as a dad joke.

Later, called to remind her to let the dog, who is a white goldendoodle, out. Speech to text screwed up and put make sure Ginger isn't at the door into make sure Ginger isn't at the bar

The reply?

Too late, she's white dog wasted

We have a natural here…

My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt.

Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."

So I took off her skirt.

Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."

So I took off her bra and panties.

Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"


My five-year-old, everyone.

My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:

 

Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."

Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"

Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"

Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!"

Me: "Alright, I'm not going to say that anymore."

Her: "Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore."

 

I had just been out-dad-joked by my five-year-old. It was so unexpected, and was the first time I think I recognized how hilarious she was with her wit. I really miss her (because of a divorce, not a funeral).

I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died...

Which was lucky, because he stepped on a Landmine.

Tommy comes back off his holiday with his mum and his step dad and the teacher asks him...

"Hello Tommy, did you enjoy your holiday?"

"I did Teacher"

"And did your stepdad take you out, show you things, go exploring?"

"Yes he did teacher, he took me out rowing 1/2 a mile into the lake every day, and then I'd swim back."

"Oh, well, um, it's an awful long way to swim isn't, 1/2 a mile?"

"Oh no teacher, no, it was easy once I'd got out of the bag!"

At the check out at Walmart and my son is sitting in the cart seat…

I've already pulled him and the cart up to past the check out folks so I could start putting bags in the cart. The women in the lane over says, Oh hello there handsome! Obviously talking to my son, however I shout back, Oh hey! How's it going?
The woman checking us out laughed so hard she had to take a step back and the woman I said it to was so red faced and chuckling she couldn't really say much! The few folks in line began laughing too so it was pretty funny and the epitome of dad joke! Ha! I've made it!

My dad died in front of me

Before he died, he scribbled me a note. They were his last words. I decided not to open it till I was ready. A year later, I opened it and this is what is said, "You are stepping on my oxygen line".

Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay.

Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay.

Mom: *gasp*

Dad: *clenches fists*

Mom: Honey, stop!

Dad: *steps forward*

Mom: N-

Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD.

You can explore step dad leap mankind reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean step dad atomic wedgie dad jokes. There are also step dad puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I asked my Dad if we could get any pets...

He said pets are just a step backwards.

A boy says to his step-dad "You're not my real dad",

and his step-dad says "you're right, because I'm here right now".

My step-sister walked into my room one day and

My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.

Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."

So I took off her skirt.

Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."

So I took off her bra and panties.

Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...

Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.

Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the hole.

Now the old bearded guy steps up and just hits the ball with all his strength. The ball goes flying! It then proceeds to hit a nearby rooftop, bounce along the grass and land on a lily pad. A frog appears and eats the golf ball. Then out of nowhere a bird picks up the frog in its talons and flies off. As the bird flies over the green, the frog spits out the ball and it manages to land the ball in the hole...

After witnessing this Moses turns towards Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."

Johnny was in class one day...

and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have sex with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. She asked Johnny if his dad was really a stripper in a gay bar and Johnny said "Absolutely not. He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that."

Jesus, Moses and an Old Man go golfing

and they come up to the par 3. Moses steps up to take a swing and plop, right in the pond. So he steps up to the water, raises his hands and separates the water. He strolls up and chips it into the hole for a birdie. Jesus' turn and he plunks it in the drink, too. He walks on the water, takes a swing and chips it in for a birdie.
The old man steps up to the tee and takes a swing. And, you guessed it, he drops it into the water. Just then a fish swims up and gobbles the ball, a hawk comes flying in from the sky and swoops up the fish. Over the green, the bird lets go of the fish, who slams against the ground. letting the ball go... which rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Dad, quit showing off."

What's a step-dad?

Beats me.

My first dad joke

My step daughter told me she wanted to write a book called The Language of Farts. I said knowing her it would be a New York Times best smeller!


One step at a time

Divorced dad: Son I'm going to marry again

Son: so I'm going to have a step mom

Dad: also she is pregnant

Son: oh no please one step at a time

One of my wife's primary School's student was wearing a Fitbit watch

One of my wife's primary School's student was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, Are you tracking your steps? No, said the little girl. I wear this for Mum so she can show Dad when he gets home.

Little Johnny Catches his Dad and Step-Mom Having Sex

Dad: It's OK Little Johnny, I'm just filling your step-mom's tank..........

Little Johnny: Really? Well, you should trade her for a woman that gets better mileage. The Postman already filled her up this morning.

Today is my dad's anniversary

I know he is in a better place. He is following my every step, watching my every move and listening to my every word. Congratulations dad for you 10 year work anniversary at Google.

How to catch a polar bear.

In honor of my Grandpa, here is my favorite Dad joke, that he told me when I was a young one, and that I, in turn, have shared with each of my kids.

How to catch a polar bear:

Step 1: Go to a frozen lake way up north.

Step 2: Cut a 6 foot hole in the ice

Step 3: Place frozen peas all along the border of the hole in the ice.

Step 4: Hide

Step 5: When a polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

I wan't close to my dad when he died.

Which was lucky, because he stepped on a land mine.

Step-dad tells his step-son to clean his room

Step-son: Am I going to have to pour hot melted cheese all over myself?

Step-dad: Why would you have to do that?

Step-son: To remind you that I'm NACHO son

Pierre never liked it when I called him my step dad...

So I now refer to him as my Faux Pas.

Dad! I accidentally stepped on this butterfly…

Well you know what that means son, no butter for you for a month. The boy was upset and went back into the house. The next day the boy was playing in the garden again.

Dad! I accidentally killed a honeybee. The father looks at his son.

Well no honey for you for a month. The boy was upset and went inside the house. A few hours later the boy went up to his dad.

Dad! Mom just killed a cockroach.


(Old but gold lol)

What does Ford stand for?

Found On Road Dead

My step dad is a super Chevy guy and told me this when I was young, drop your best Chevy/Ford jokes

So



the new Paranormal Activity 3 is about a ghost who stalks little girls and makes them play with him late at night when the mum and step-dad are not around.

Glad to see Michael Jackson back to his old tricks.

What did my step-dad say before bludgeoning by brother to death with a vacuum cleaner?

Dyson.

My mom and dad were both ladders.

Things were pretty great until they got divorced. It was rough at first until they both remarried and I got two new step ladders.

My dad and my step-mom kicked me out of the house today right after I introduced them to my pregnant girlfriend.

Apparently it's taboo to be in a relationship with your step-sister.

My Dad's step brother Tom is African American

I'm not sure what to call him without offending him

What's a fun name to call your new Italian Step-Dad?

Papa Guinea

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the step dad stephen curry jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working step dad stacey piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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