Steering Wheel Jokes
88 steering wheel jokes and hilarious steering wheel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about steering wheel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Steering Wheel Short Jokes
Short steering wheel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steering wheel humour may include short steering jokes also.
- My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to start it, it wooden work.
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants Bartender: "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
Pirate: "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!" - Women are responsible for roughly 45% of car accidents Which is pretty high, considering the steering wheel isn't even on their side.
- Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus? There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus.
- Def leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.
Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me. - Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died. And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. When the bartender points it out, the pirate replies "Arrrgh, it's been driving me nuts all day."
- Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn
- The other day I saw a pirate with a steering wheel on his belt When I asked him about it he said Arrgh, it's drivin' me nuts
- Do you ever feel like the fifth wheel? Think about it - wouldn't that be the steering wheel?
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Steering Wheel One Liners
Which steering wheel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steering wheel? I can suggest the ones about training wheel and spinning wheel.
- I've got a steering wheel in my pants.. and it's driving me nuts.
- Ever driven a car with no steering wheel? It's pretty straight forward.
- Someone stole my car's steering wheel I just can't handle it anymore.
- The weakest point of any car is... the nut holding the steering wheel.
- What's brown and sticky? My steering wheel
- If you're turning left with your car, which wheel steers less? The spare one! :P
- I call her my steering wheel chick I only sleep with her between 10 and 2
- What is red, has a steering wheel and likes to eat ice cream? Nothing
- If you give a squirrel a steering wheel It can drive me nuts!
- I've had a steering wheel stuck in my pants all day.
- Did you hear about the steering-wheel belt? It's driving me nuts
- Dont have s**... with your cars steering wheel I did, and its driving me nuts.
- Just a warning. **If anyone tries to sell you a transparent driving wheel, steer clear.**
- How do you confuse an asian? Put a steering wheel in front of them
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Steering Wheel Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about steering wheel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wheel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steering wheel pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.
She was thrilled at the speed.
"If I do 200mph, will you t**... clothes?" he asked.
"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.
The n**... girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm n**... and my clothes are gone!"
"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her p**..., the girl ran down the road and found a service station.
Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.
She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.
After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"
"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.
"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.
She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you t**... clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The n**... girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm n**... and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her p**..., the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
Silly Drunks.
A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.
"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."
So a pirate walks into a bar…
A pirate walks into a bar, and he's got a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender sees him and asks, "Hey, what's that steering wheel doing there?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrr, I don't know, it's driving me nuts."
A pirate walks into a bar...
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.
He sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
As the bartender pours his drink he asks him why there's a steering wheel in his pants.
The prate replies, "Arrrr it's drivin me nuts."
Guy walks into a bar...
and sees a pirate with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. Intrigued, the man approaches and inquires "whats with the steering wheel?" to which the pirate responds, "Arrr, its drivin' me nuts!"
Pirate walks into a bar
As a bartender was cleaning up for the evening as a pirate walked into his bar. This was the most stereo typical pirate the bartender had ever seen. He had an eye-patch over one eye, a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, a hook for a hand, and spoke with the usual pirate accent. The only thing that set this pirate apart from all the other pirates the bartender had seen was the GIANT wood steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants.
The Pirate approached the bar and shouted "ARR...Barkeep! Give me a whiskey!"
The bartender said: "Sure pirate, but first, you have to tell me, what's with the giant steering wheel shoved down the front of your pants?"
The Pirate replied: "ARR, I don't know! But it's driving me NUTS!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Halo
Mother Teresa passed away and was on her way up to Heaven when she finally met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. He looked at her with such pride and said, "Mother Teresa! Thank you for everything you did for the world. Because of the good you did, I will give you this halo. Only the greatest figures in world history get these ." She thanked him as he placed the halo upon her head. She then walked into heaven and saw some of these amazing figures wearing halos, too. People like Martin Luther King, Jr., Abe Lincoln, etc. Then she looked over and noticed Princess Diana with a bigger halo than everyone else. Mother Teresa stormed over to St. Peter, and started yelling, "You know, I was born into wealth, and gave that all away to live in complete poverty. The s**... of the Earth my whole life!" To which he replied, "I know! We greatly appreciate it. What is the problem?" She replied, "How come Princess Diana gets a halo? She was born into wealth, stayed wealthy her whole life, and I just don't think she did anything above and beyond to deserve that halo." St. Peter was confused. He looked at Mother Teresa and said, "Um, that isn't a halo. That's a f**...' steering wheel."
A joke for pirate day.
A pirate ship's first mate comes up to the deck to find the ship's (steering) wheel missing. The first mate rushes to the captain of the ship, only to find the wheel in his pants.
The first mate asks, "Captain, did you know the ship's wheel is in your pants?"
"Aaarrrh," the pirate captain replied. "I know, it's driving me nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pirate jokes I've heard throughout my life
What did the pirate say when the steering wheel was shoved down his pants?
ARGHHHHH your driven me nuts!
Why was the pirate dissatisfied with his blind date?
She had a sunken chest and no b**....
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They can spend years stuck at sea!
And of course: Why couldn't the teenagers watch the pirate movie?
BECAUSE IT WAS RATED ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela went on holiday, and booked into a hotel. After his first day he went to bed, however he was awoken in the morning by someone knocking at his door. The man at the door said "Are you Nelson Mandela?"
"Yes" He replied
"Well, I've got a parcel for you" The man replied
He was very confused by this, as no one even knew he was staying there. When he opened it, there was a bunch of steering wheels inside, which was even more strange as he couldn't drive.
He got on with the rest of his day, and yet again he was woken in the morning by the same man. This time the parcel was full of carburetors, he had no idea what was going on.
On the third morning, the man arrived again. "Got another parcel for you" He said
"Are you sure these are for me?"
"Yep, got your name on it right here" He said
Nelson had a look for himself "That's not my name" He exclaimed "This says to Nissan Main Dealer"
A Pirate Walks Into a Bar!
A Pirate walks into a Bar and asks for a Whiskey. The bar tender says, "Sure OK, but first you have to tell me why you have a little man in your pants with a steering wheel!"
The Pirate responds, " Rrrr! HE'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!"
The VW Genie
A man was driving his brand new Rolls Royce. At the signal this beaten up Beetle stops next to him, and tells him "Nice car! I'm willing to swap you with my car for a $1,000,000"
The rich guy looks at him and says "why would I want your car?"
At this point the VW's driver rubs the steering wheel and out comes a genie. He tells him "I'd like to have some tea". In a flash it's in his hand.
The Rolls' owner goes berserk, gives him the money and the Rolls, and takes the Beetle.
He drives up to his mansion, and everybody is wondering why he'd be driving a car like that. Proudly, he rubs the steering wheel, and out comes the genie. He tells him "I want a million dollars in cash!"
The genie says "Sorry, sir. I just do tea & coffee"
Pirate walks into a bar...
..the bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants. So the bartender asks, is that a steering wheel in your pants?
The pirate replies, "arrr, it's driving me nuts."
A pirate goes to the doctor
A doctor walks into his exam room and is greeted with a strange sight: a pirate captain with a ships steering wheel protruding from his waistline. The doctor says "Well, I'm not sure what you came in here for, but I think we should start by addressing the steering wheel down your pants."
The pirate nods fervently, and says "Yarr, it's been drivin' me nuts!"
A man walks into his doctor's surgery and says "Doc, I'm experiencing some discomfort downstairs"
The Doctor takes a look and says "well I think I see the problem - you've got a steering wheel in your pants".
The man says "Thanks doc! It was driving me nuts!"
A man notices a pig with a wooden leg
He calls out to the farmer and asks,"why's the pig got a wooden leg?"
The farmer replies, "it's amazing that pig, once I fell in the pond and was drowning. The pig came trotting along, jumped in and pulled me out."
"Wow, that is amazing." said the man.
"and another time I fell asleep on the sofa. Dropped my cigarette and set the whole farmhouse on fire. The pig knocked down the front door, crawled through the smoke and pulled me out into the farmyard."
"That's absolutely extraordinary." exclaimed the man.
"And, a couple of months ago I had a heart attack whilst driving the tractor. The pig trotted alongside, jumped up and grabbed the wheel in his snout, steered it safely to a halt, then ran 12 miles to get me a doctor."
"That is truly amazing. Unbelievable." Said the man, "but what's with the wooden leg?"
"Ah", said the farmer, "you don't eat a pig like that all at once."
What was the last thing that went through Dale Earnhardt's mind before he died?
The steering wheel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't you hate it when people attach little steering wheels to their p**...?
It drives me nuts.
So MotherTeresa is in heaven, but...
she notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than her. So Mother Teresa goes to God and asks why Princess Diana has a larger halo. God laughs and responds, "Oh, that's not a halo, that's the steering wheel."
My grandmother told me this joke, all credit to her.
Three men walk into a car part store...
I need taillights for a Mustang the first one says. What year? the employee asks. 2015 he answers. There you go , the worker hands in the parts. The second guy goes to the counter, saying I need a steering wheel for a Mustang . What year?
1997 he answers. There you go . After he payed, the third guy comes to the counter. I need rear suspensions for a Mustang . There you go .
GRAND THEFT AUTO
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
I remember when Paul Walker was all over the news...
Then he was all over the front seat, windows and steering wheel...
A pirate walks into a bar
The bartender says to him:
"Hey pirate, are you aware there's a steering wheel coming from your zipper?"
The pirate replies:
"AARRGHH matey, it's drivin' me nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I drive a mail truck with the steering wheel on the right hand side. Sometimes I pretend I'm in England by
Eating really c**... food
An elderly lady dials 911.
"Help! Someone's stolen everything in my car," the lady says. "My radio, my windshield, my GPS, even my steering wheel!"
Shortly after, an officer walks up to the car and talks to his radio. "Disregard that last call," the officer said. "She just got in the back seat."
What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say?
ARRRR YOU'RE DRIVING ME NUTS!
Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Do you what passed over Princess Diana's head before she died?
The Mercedes Steering Wheel.
A British bass player walks into a bar.
Bartender says "You've got a steering wheel in your pants."
Bass player says "I know. It's driving me nuts."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some one asked me about the steering wheel attached to my c**... recently...
I told them it was driving me nuts.
An elderly woman called 911...
An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."
'Ford recalls nearly 1.4 million cars, steering wheel can come loose'
Is this Ford's idea of a driver-less car?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man gets into a taxi...
... and asks the driver "Hey, can I help you steer?"
"Are you serious?" the cabbie replies.
"Yes but don't worry, I have my own steering wheel" the man says and takes an actual steering wheel out of his briefcase.
The cabbie shrugs but takes the fare. As they drive, the passenger turns his steering wheel in sync with the cabbie's, making it look like there are two drivers.
Just as another driver notices this curious sight, the man violently jerks the steering wheel in his direction, causing him to c**... into a light post.
"What did you do that for??" the taxi driver yells.
"Well, someone pulled the same joke on me and this steering wheel is all I have left."
Why are there no black bus drivers?
Because there is no steering wheel in the back of the bus.
I went to dinner and there was a man dressed as a pirate at the bar (long)
I had to find out what the deal was with this guy so I sat down next to him.
We talked for a while and then eventually he turned towards me and that's when I noticed he had a ship steering wheel sticking right out of his pants.
I tried listening to his story but it was too distracting so finally I interrupted him.
"Hey do you know you've got a ship steering wheel coming out of your pants?"
"Argh, it's driving me nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man gets pulled over...
A man gets pulled over by a local sheriff. The sheriff walks up to the man's window and says I pulled you over because you didn't come to a full stop at that stop sign back there.
Yeah, but I slowed down... the man tells him.
Quickly, the sheriff reaches into the man's car, grabs him by the hair and starts smashing the man's face over and over into the steering wheel and asks him, Now do you want me to stop? Or do you want me to slow down?
I made a friend who liked model ships.
I sent him a secondhand model that I found at a garage sale along with my phone number. He texted me soon after:
Hey man, it's Jesus. You sent me a model ship and I really appreciate it but it's missing a part.
Is it the steering wheel?
Actually yeah. How did you know?
It fell out of the box but I didn't want to bother you with an envelope containing only the wheel. I'll come deliver it to you if that's okay.
No, man, it's one part, you don't have to!
Jesus, take the wheel.
In heaven Mother Theresa is complaining to god that Princes Diana's halo is bigger than hers...
God giggles... That's not a halo, that's a steering wheel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a a simple reason for not liking the Drive Thru
First time I arrived, I turned to see some fat, sweaty, morbidly obese man hunched over a steering wheel demanding I take his money.
There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.
I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.
A man walks into a bar after a bad car accident.
The man had been in a bad car accident and decided to have a couple of shots before going to the hospital.
The bartender points out to the man, Hey bud, there is a steering wheel in your leg. Gonna do something about it?
The man replies, Yeah. It's driving me nuts
A drunk calls the police, and says,
"They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal.."
Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat"
Captain Blackbeard's new recruits
Three men are new recruits on captain Blackbeard's ship. They each get to ask 1 question before they start work. The first two ask about sleeping arrangements and food, only to have captain Blackbeard yell back at them out of frustration. The third man asks "Why is the steering wheel attached to your pants?"
"Argh, it drives me nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to c**....
As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his a**.... Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the h**... are you doing, we are going to die!" Pilot quietly answers "there's nothing we can do, I'm just giving the c**... investigators something to think about."
A pirate walks into a bar
With a steering wheel on his belt buckle.
Bartender: "Oi pirate! What's with the steery thingy on ye belt?"
Pirate: "Yarr it's driving me nuts!" "Also it's me cake day so please don't be swabbing me in the blue cheese for the bad jokes"
I made an attempt!
An Irishman walks into a Bar
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants. The bartender takes a look at him and asks, what's the deal with that steering wheel?
The Irishman responds " Aye, Its driving me nuts"
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
An Irishman walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
The bartender says, Is that a steering wheel down your pants?
The Irishman replies, Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Russians does it take to drive a tank?
Two.
One to control the steering wheel, and one to go flag down the Ukrainian farmer to give them a lift.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Queen Elizabeth arrives to Heaven ...
St Peter lets her in and gives her a tour around the heavenly garden.
-Here are all your family members, previous pets and people of historical significance during your reign.
Liz looks around this multitude of people who wave at her, smiling. Suddenly she stops and calls St.Peter aside.
-What the F***?, Diana has a bigger halo than me!! I reigned for decades, saw my country trough wars and depressions and wars again, gave god, freedom and peace to nations all around the world, surely I deserve a bigger halo than her!!
-Your Majesty, that is a steering wheel...