Steering Jokes
154 steering jokes and hilarious steering puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about steering that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Steering Short Jokes
Short steering jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steering humour may include short swerving jokes also.
- My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to start it, it wooden work.
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants Bartender: "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
Pirate: "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!" - A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, buddy, doesn't that bother you?"
The pirate says, "Yar, it's drivin' me nuts." - Women are responsible for roughly 45% of car accidents Which is pretty high, considering the steering wheel isn't even on their side.
- A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... And the bartender asks "what's wrong?"
The man replied "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!" - Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus? There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus.
- Def leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.
Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me. - How many Russians does it take to drive a tank? Two.
One to control the steering wheel, and one to go flag down the Ukrainian farmer to give them a lift. - A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck between his legs. Bartender: What's with the steering wheel?
Pirate: Arr, it's drivin' me nuts! - A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says "You know you got a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate says "Aye, and it's drivin' me nuts!"
Share These Steering Jokes With Friends
Steering One Liners
Which steering one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steering? I can suggest the ones about turning and driving.
- I've got a steering wheel in my pants.. and it's driving me nuts.
- Ever driven a car with no steering wheel? It's pretty straight forward.
- Doctor doctor I have a steering wheel in my pants It's drivin' me nuts!
- Someone stole my car's steering wheel I just can't handle it anymore.
- You know why it's so hard to steer through the Suez Canal? Because it's not Strait.
- The weakest point of any car is... the nut holding the steering wheel.
- You never want to go near a cow made of glass… Steer clear
- Why did Jesus get in a serious car accident? God works in miss steering ways
- A woman almost drove into me today I called her a cow because she couldn't steer.
- Riding horses is fun and all, but... ...let's be on a steer.
- A couple of steers were smoking a joint , and playing poker The steaks were pretty high
- Two goldfish are in a tank One says to the other one, How do you steer this thing?
- What's brown and sticky? My steering wheel
- The steer was fed the TNT Abombinabull.
- So I asked the cow for directions... I got steered in the wrong direction.
Steering Wheel Jokes
Here is a list of funny steering wheel jokes and even better steering wheel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel.
- Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died. And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
- A pirate walks into the bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says "hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" the pirate responds "ARGH! it drives me nuts!"
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. When the bartender points it out, the pirate replies "Arrrgh, it's been driving me nuts all day."
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says "hey, you have a steering wheel in your pants". The pirate replies, "aye, it's driving me nuts".
- Pirate walks into bar. Barkeep notices a steering wheel attached to the pirate's groin, asks about it. "Aarrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
- A pirate walks into a bar And the bartender says, "hey, you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your zipper?". The pirate replies,"arrr, I know, it's driving me nuts".
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel for a belt buckle Bar tender says "I like the belt buckle"
Pirate replies "Arrgh, it's drivin me nuts" - Why do Mexicans always install those tiny steering wheels in their cars? So they can drive with the handcuffs on.
- Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn
Hilarious Steering Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about steering you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean driving seat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steering pranks.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants...
The bartender asks, "Hey Pirate! What's up with the steering wheel in your pants?"
To which the pirate replies, "Arrr, I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
...with a steering wheel down his pants. He orders a drink. The bartender says "sure thing, I'll get you a drink, but do you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?"
Pirate says "Arrrr, maytee, its driving me nuts."
So a policeman is in pursuit of a drunk driver...
...and this drunk is barreling at high speeds, nearly destroying everything in it's path. Finally the car hits a telephone pole and the car stops. The policeman jumps out of his car, runs up to the trashed car and pulls out the driver screaming, "YOU'RE DRUNK!"
The driver responds "Thank God. I thought my brakes and steering went out!"
The story of the pirate.
A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices that there is the steering wheel to a ship on the front of his pants. So the bartender, perplexed, says to him "you know that there's a steering wheel on your c**..., right?" and the pirate says "Arr! Its drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar
with a steering wheel hanging from the front of his belt. The bar tender said, "Hey buddy, you have a steering wheel tied to your pants". To which the pirate replied, "Arr, I know. It's drivin' me nuts!"
Silly Drunks.
A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.
"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."
A Pirate Walks into a Bar
A pirate walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him and says "Hey Pirate, you've got a steering wheel hanging from your pants". The pirate says "Yarr, and it's drivin' me nuts"
A pirate walks into a bar...
With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender notices and says "sir, are you aware you have a steering wheel down your pants?" To which the pirate replies "Arr, it's driving me nuts."
So a pirate walks into a bar..
and he has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender looks at him and says, "Did you know that there's a steering wheel coming out of your c**...?" The pirate nods and says, "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
So a pirate walks into a bar…
A pirate walks into a bar, and he's got a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender sees him and asks, "Hey, what's that steering wheel doing there?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrr, I don't know, it's driving me nuts."
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
A Pirate Walks Into the Doctors Office
The pirate walks in and tells the doc he's having an issue down below.
He drops his pants and the doc says, "My god there's your problem! You have a steering wheel attached to your t**...!"
The pirate responds, "ARRR IT'S DRIVIN ME NUTS!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.
He sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
As the bartender pours his drink he asks him why there's a steering wheel in his pants.
The prate replies, "Arrrr it's drivin me nuts."
Guy walks into a bar...
and sees a pirate with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. Intrigued, the man approaches and inquires "whats with the steering wheel?" to which the pirate responds, "Arrr, its drivin' me nuts!"
Pirate jokes I've heard throughout my life
What did the pirate say when the steering wheel was shoved down his pants?
ARGHHHHH your driven me nuts!
Why was the pirate dissatisfied with his blind date?
She had a sunken chest and no b**....
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They can spend years stuck at sea!
And of course: Why couldn't the teenagers watch the pirate movie?
BECAUSE IT WAS RATED ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering-wheel attached to the front of his pants.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering-wheel attached to the front of his pants. The bartender says, "You know you got a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of your pants?" The pirate says, "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts."
My steer got constipated the other day...
...No b**....
One more Pirate joke for the road!
A pirate walks into a bar with his ship's steering wheel stuffed in the front of his pants. The Bartender finds this odd, and asks the pirate "why do you have ship steering wheel in your pants?" the pirate replies with, "I don't know, but it is driving me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
... with a steering wheel coming out of his zipper. The bartender notices, and says to the pirate, "Hey, buddy. You know you got a steering wheel coming out of your pants?" The pirate looks at the bartender with an annoyed stare and says, "Arrrrr! I know. It's driving me nuts."
One dark night, my youngest son was looking at a plane move across a clear sky...
... 'Whew', he said after it had dissapeared from sight. 'I'm never going to be a pilot.'
'Why?', I asked.
'Can you imagine how hard it would be to steer around all those stars?'
A pirate walks into a bar...
...he has a parrot on his shoulder and a steering wheel on his belt buckle. Bartender says, "hey you've got a steering wheel on your belt." Pirate says, "arg! I know, it's driving me nuts!"
So a pirate walks into a bar...
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants..
Bar Tender: "hi sir, um.. you know you have a steering wheel in your pants right?"
Pirate: "Aye! it's driving me nuts!"
A pirate goes to the doctor
A doctor walks into his exam room and is greeted with a strange sight: a pirate captain with a ships steering wheel protruding from his waistline. The doctor says "Well, I'm not sure what you came in here for, but I think we should start by addressing the steering wheel down your pants."
The pirate nods fervently, and says "Yarr, it's been drivin' me nuts!"
An overweight woman decided to start walking her dog to get exercise...
She stopped after realizing the effort it took to steer her scooter.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants
The bartender says, "Pirate, you know you got a steering wheel attached to your w**...?"
The pirate replies, "ARRG! It's drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar..
So, this pirate walks into a bar to have a drink.
The barkeeper looks at him and says: "Sir, do you know that you have a steering wheel on your c**...?"
>Says the pirate: "Ayy, it's driving me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
The bartender looks at him for a second and says "Alright. I'll ask. What's with the steering wheel?"
The pirate says "YAR! It be drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
...with a steering wheel mounted on his c**....
He says to the bartender "Yar, I'll get me a r**...."
The bartender says "Okay buddy. But first you gotta tell me... what's with the steering wheel on your c**...?"
The pirate says "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
A joke my granpda tells to me every time I see him
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a drink. The bartender gives him the drink and says "sir do you know there's a steering wheel in your pants" the pirate replies "yarr, its driving me nuts"
A man walks into his doctor's surgery and says "Doc, I'm experiencing some discomfort downstairs"
The Doctor takes a look and says "well I think I see the problem - you've got a steering wheel in your pants".
The man says "Thanks doc! It was driving me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his c**.... The bartender looks at the steering wheel and asks, "Doesn't that bother you?" The pirate responds, "Yar it's driving me nuts."
A Pirate Walks Into A Bar
...With the steering wheel to his ship crammed into his trousers.
Bartender: What is that steering wheel doing down your pants?
Pirate: Arrrgh... It's drivin' me nuts!
This pirate
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks him 'Why in the world do you have a steering wheel in your pants?' The pirate responds 'Argh I don't know but it's been driving me nuts all day.'
So MotherTeresa is in heaven, but...
she notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than her. So Mother Teresa goes to God and asks why Princess Diana has a larger halo. God laughs and responds, "Oh, that's not a halo, that's the steering wheel."
My grandmother told me this joke, all credit to her.
A pirate walks into a bar
with a steering wheel stuffed in his pants. The bartender looks at him and asks, "Why is there a steering wheel sticking out your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
A pirate walks into a bar with a large steering wheel on the front of his pants.
The bartender says, "Hey buddy, you know you got a steering wheel on your c**...?"
The pirate responds, "Arrr, it be driving me nuts!"
Three men walk into a car part store...
I need taillights for a Mustang the first one says. What year? the employee asks. 2015 he answers. There you go , the worker hands in the parts. The second guy goes to the counter, saying I need a steering wheel for a Mustang . What year?
1997 he answers. There you go . After he payed, the third guy comes to the counter. I need rear suspensions for a Mustang . There you go .
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!
" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake."
A Trucker Hates Lawyers so Much That When he Sees Them he Always Runs Them Over
One day he sees a priest hitchhiking and decides to give a ride to the holy man. As they go along the road, the trucker spots a lawyer by the side of the road and steers to run him over. At the last minute he remembers the priest in the truck and swerves away hoping to avoid judgment of his sins.
He says "I'm sorry father, I don't know what came over me!"
The priest replies, "Don't worry, I got him with the door!"
A pirate has a steering wheel attached to his c**....
As he walks down the street someone notices and asks "Doesn't that hurt?"
The pirate replies, "Arr, it drives me nuts."
New dad as of today, so here is my first dad joke.
What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer? A Ms. Steak.
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants
The barman says "excuse me mate, but did you know that you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?" The man replies "Know it, it's been driving me nuts all day"
A pirate walks into a bar
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender looks at him for a moment, before asking, "Hey, what's up with the steering wheel?"
The pirate goes "Arghhh, it be driving me nuts."
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his zipper...
He sets up at the bar and orders a drink. The bar tender says, "whooaa whoaaa, before I serve you a drink, whats up with the steering wheel coming out of your zipper?" The pirate just says, "yaarrg its drivin' me nuts"
GRAND THEFT AUTO
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
A pirate walks into a bar...
with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender notices him, notices the wheel, and says, "Hey, I'll serve you, but what's with the wheel?"
The pirate responds, "Arrrrgh, it's drivin' me nuts!"
So a pirate walks into a bar,
he has a steering wheel on his c**....
The bartender goes: "What are you doing with that thing?"
The pirate responds: "Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."
A pirate captain walks into a bar...
...with a peg leg, a steering wheel hanging from his pants, and a parrot on his shoulder.
Bartender: "Excuse me Captain, but you have a steering wheel hanging from your pants!"
Pirate: "Arrrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts."
The Pirates pants
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says to him "why have you got a steering wheel on your pants isn't that annoying".
The Pirate says "Aye its driving me nuts".
I recently got into an accident by over steering into a Korean car.
It could have been avoided if I had better Hyundai coordination.
An elderly lady dials 911.
"Help! Someone's stolen everything in my car," the lady says. "My radio, my windshield, my GPS, even my steering wheel!"
Shortly after, an officer walks up to the car and talks to his radio. "Disregard that last call," the officer said. "She just got in the back seat."
Two Nuns riding home from church on a tandem bicycle...
Suddenly the nun in front steers the bike down a very bumpy road - not their normal rout.
Curious, the nun on the back asks, "Have you come this way before, sister?"
Nun in front replies, "Yes... I think it's the *cobblestones!"*
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of the front of his pants.
The bartender looks up and says "Hey Pirate, you've a got a steering wheel coming out of the front of your pants!"
The pirate says "Argh, it's driving me nuts."
An Irish man walks into a bar...
An Irish man walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants.
"Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?"
"Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.
He sits down and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender says, "I'll give your drink if you tell me why there's a steering wheel in your pants."
The man says, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts."
A pirate walks into McDonalds.
This pirate has a steering wheel between his legs, but doesn't seem to notice. As he places his order, the employee at the register keeps glancing at it awkwardly. Finally, as the pirate finishes ordering, the employee says "Sir, are you aware there's a steering wheel between your legs?" The pirate looks at it and goes "Yar. It be driving me nuts."
A t**... struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...
"Abominable. Simply abominable."
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants
The barkeep says, "you've got a steering wheel in your pants."
The pirate: "Aaarg! And it's driving me nuts!"
Edit * my dad may or may not have told me this joke..
An elderly woman called 911...
An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."
A pirate walks into a bar.....
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and also a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says to the pirate, "Hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants!"
The pirate says, "Arrrrgggg, I know. It's driving me nuts."
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs...
The bar tender asks him "Mate why do you have a steering wheel between your legs?" The man replies "I have no idea, but it is driving me nuts".
Dont have s**... with your cars steering wheel
I did, and its driving me nuts.
A pirate walks into a bar...
with a steering wheel sticking out of his c**....
The bartender asks, "what's up with the wheel?"
The pirate says, "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel attached to his c**....
The bartender, obviously curious, says:
"Are you aware there's a steering wheel attached to your c**...?"
The pirate replies:
"AARRGGHH, It drives me nuts!"
