Steel Jokes
132 steel jokes and hilarious steel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about steel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article takes a light-hearted look at the world of stainless steel, with jokes about balls of steel, blue steel, man of steel, buns of steel, steel belan, steel drum, aluminium, blacksmiths and alloys. So get ready to crack a smile with these Steel Jokes!
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Funniest Steel Short Jokes
Short steel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steel humour may include short iron jokes also.
- Why is leather armour better for sneaking than steel armour? Leather armour is made of hide.
- Whistles I bought a wooden whistle...
But it wooden whistle
So I bought a steel whistle...
But it steel wooden whistle
Then I bought a lead whistle...
But it steel wooden lead me whistle! - Which weighs more, a ton of steel or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers, because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
- Did you hear that the guy that makes rings and necklaces out of steel is closing his shop for today? Yes, it's ferrous jeweller's day off.
- I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.
- They say that WWII was won with American steel, British intelligence, and Soviet blood Of course, they wouldn't have gotten very far on Soviet steel, American intelligence, and British blood
- Steel producers are grappling with the high price of iron... ...they say it's a terrible ore deal.
(An ore-ful joke, I know.) - Which is heavier? 1kg of steel or 1kg of feathers? The feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those birds.
- They say ww2 was won by American steel, British intelligence, and Russian blood Who knew that WW3 would be won the same way?
- A 50 kg woman , 50 kg of feather , and 50 kg of steel ,which one is heavier? The woman
Because girls lie about their weight
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Steel One Liners
Which steel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steel? I can suggest the ones about metal and silver.
- Why is a blacksmith called a blacksmith? A whitesmith wouldn't steel
- Where does steel wool come from? Dodge Rams.
- What do you call a coked-up Iron Man? Steel Man.
- What's another name for a 100% steel cage? A Nickelless Cage.
- Why was the steel angry? Because it lost it's temper.
- old artillery was made of iron, not steel it's cannon
- Have you heard the joke about the steel rod? No? Let metal you.
- I've recently started eating steel It's a refined taste
- What's black and white and can cut through steel beams? A penguin with a lightsaber
- I paid $3 for a block of metal yesterday It was really quite the steel
- What happens if you steel? You have to get Alloy-er
- I was supposed to pay $500 for a single chunk of metal what a steel....
- What material do african blacksmiths use the most? Steel.
- Very offensive man on the loose with flint and steel Sparks outrage
- What does a steel-worker frog like to do on the job? Rivet.
Man Of Steel Jokes
Here is a list of funny man of steel jokes and even better man of steel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A homophobic man walks into a gay bar He gets a concussion. Turns out gay steel is just as hard as straight steel.
- Did you hear that none of the destroyed businesses in Man of Steel were paid out by insurance? Turns out their policies didn't cover an "act of Zod"
- What is the black man's favourite metal? Steel .
- What happens when Superman sees Superwoman? He becomes the Man of Steel
- Why does Iron Man like to show off his outfit? It's a steel!
- A man runs into a bar... ...Of steel. He ends up breaking one of his ribs.
- How did Superman turn into Iron man? The Man of Steel went on a low-carb diet.
- The Chinese President stayed overnight at Buckingham Palace. He really proved that he was a man of steel.
- What do you call a black policeman? A man IN FRONT of steel prison bars.
Steel Wool Jokes
Here is a list of funny steel wool jokes and even better steel wool puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Grandma said I she'd knit whatever I want if I pick the yarn... So I bought her some steel wool and asked her to knit me a car
- What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot? Steel wool
- Where does steel wool come from? Hydraulic rams.
- Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel? Neymar
- What do you call wool from a sheep that's not yours? Steel wool
- Why does the farm robber have such a clean house? He likes to steel wool
- Any help in making a gray t-shirt out of steel wool? Sorry, wrong thread.
- Why did the klepto only knit metal sweaters? She had to...steel wool.
- What can you get off with your finger that you can't get off with steel wool? Your girlfriend.
- Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
Balls Of Steel Jokes
Here is a list of funny balls of steel jokes and even better balls of steel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Given that the US has now shot down three balloons (or suspected balloons) this week.... Whoever is flying the Goodyear blimp at the super bowl tonight had better have b**... of steel.
- This is an old joke What do you call a short legged dog with steel b**...?
Sparky - What's the reason for an acute shortage of steel in the world? Zelenski's b**...!
- A doggo was born without hind legs, but had b**... of steel... They named him Sparky
Stainless Steel Jokes
Here is a list of funny stainless steel jokes and even better stainless steel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My stainless steel scissor rusted How ironic.
- In poland stainless steel is a lot cheaper... However it only applies to the version made in their own country, Stainless Steel Polish....
- I went onto Amazon to buy a stainless steel popcorn machine
- what do you call a perfect crime at a metal factory a stainless steel
Blue Steel Jokes
Here is a list of funny blue steel jokes and even better blue steel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the wooden car? It wooden start.
Did you hear about the steel car?
It steel wouldn't start.
Did you hear about the blue car?
It blue up. - After hours of working on every syllable of this masterpiece, I bring you a haiku I've titled "Truth in hindsight" The sky is blue
The grass is green
Jetfuel can't melt steel beams - Derek Zoolander selects his health insurance provider Blue Cross Blue Steel
Gather Around for Heartwarming Steel Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about steel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steel pranks.
What do you call steel chicken feed?
Impeccable.
Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war?
Because they were alloys.
I had a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, and it steel wooden whistle.
But then I bought a tin whistle, and now I tin whistle!
What would be the American version of "Duck Quacks Don't Echo"?
"Jet Fuel Don't Melt Steel Beams".
Steelers defense, last night.
My parents were in the iron and steel industry...
My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.
If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)
What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!
What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!
What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!
"Pikachu, use astonish!"
*Leans into opponent's ear*
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."
Detailed Cleaning
I asked a friend of mine by phone what he was doing. He told me he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed. In further conversation, I learned that he was "washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision."
What's a thief's favorite type of armour?
Steel armour
Roses are red, their stems are green ...
Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.
Old School Friend
I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now. He replied that he was currently working on:
*Aqua-thermal treatment on ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment*
I was impressed......
On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water under his wife's supervision.
What did steel say to the concrete?
Don't take too much tension!
I bought a wooden whistle
but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle,
but it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle,
but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a copper whistle,
but the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a tin whistle,
now I can whistle.
Guy walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer from the bartender
As he is sipping his beverage, he looks down and sees a gorilla sitting at the other end.
He asks the bartender, *"What's with the gorilla?"*
The bartender says, *"Oh, that's Mable. She does a trick. Want to see it?"*
*"Sure"*
So the bartender whistles and Mable comes lumbering down the length of the bar.
The bartender pulls out a heavy steel pipe and hits the gorilla in the side of its head. The gorilla drops to its knees and starts giving the bartender a b**....
*"Wow!"*, says the guy.
The bartender says, *"Pretty amazing, huh? You want to try?"*
The guys says, *"Yeah, sure! Just don't hit me so hard."*
What do you call a steel stick that you can pull out of concrete?
Excalrebar!
Why didn't the other metals want to hang out with the hard steel?
Because of his hot temper
What metal do thieves like the most?
Steel.
Whistle Puns
One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!
How did the Blacksmith pick up the red hot 1000° steel cube with just his hands?
He just held it by the cubes corners which were 90°
Which weighs more? A ton of feathers? Or a ton of steel?
Feathers. You'll have to carry the weight of what you did to all those birds.
Why would George W Bush be a bad blacksmith?
He apparently can't melt steel beams.
One day, I went to a store and bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to that store again and got a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
Frustrated, I went to that store one last time and bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle!
What does the blacksmith say when his materials are on sale?
"What a steel!"
I built the most American guitar ever
Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.
Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.
I like to call steel beams "cats."
People often look at me oddly, but then I explain it to them:
"CFe lines!"
I bought a wooden whistle
...but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle.
Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle.
Finally, I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.
I worked with a guy on a building site...
I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.
I was going to put a joke on here about carpentry.
But i didn't think it wood work........
so i decided to add some metal work instead,
but i realised it steel wooden work.....
If I gather my material, wood you like to hear a joke?
I sure wood, but it's steel hard to come up with one.
Men are like steel
They're useless when they lose their temper
Why do shovels hate digging up metal?
Because of the irony
Sorry I guess you couldn't handle the joke
I'm gonna dig up some more
I'll s**... you of any more puns
If you couldn't sit through that you're a tool
(Please don't steel this joke it took me a long time to come up with it (credit to u/ImToastedBruh for the steel part))
I made a wooden car
But it wooden go
Then I made a steel car
But it steel wooden go
Then I made a lead car
But it steel wooden lead me go
I bought a wooden whistle
But it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
Then I bought a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
A car thief gets brought before the judge
Judge: Why did you steel the car?
Thief: I had to get to work.
Judge: And why didn't you take the bus instead?
Thief: I've got no licence for driving a bus.
These days, iron and steel are traded on the international commodity market, and if you need some, you just need to contact a trader.
Formerly, if you wanted iron or steel, you would need to go to an ironworks or even a blacksmith's and negotiate directly with the men who made it.
Whoever smelted, dealt it.
I called a friend and asked what he was doing.
He replied that he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed...
Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.
I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now.
He replied that he was currently working on:
\*Aqua-thermal treatment on ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment\*
I was impressed......
On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water under his wife's supervision.
2 guys are watching a n**... man free fall from a cliff
o**... says: I thought he was crazy at first, but now I realise he has got b**... of steel
the other says: Yes, i know. And its making him fall even faster!!
(original joke, hope you like!!)
I heard that steel got into a heated argument once
Ever since then, it has been tempered metal.
My mind is like a steel trap
I can use it once and then I have to reset it.
I've stopped burning bridges in my life
because they make them out of steel now.
Two German explorers
Two German explorers were making their way east across New York when they came to a wide river.
Karl: How vill vee get across dee large body of vater?
The other explorer sees a large, steel object north of them.
Heinrich: Look der es und structure dat vee can use to cross
Karl and Heinrich make their way across and into the land know as upstate New York. Karl gets to the other side but notices that his companion is still behind. Karl also notices that he is continuously poking his finger on the object they just crossed.
Karl: Heinrich, vat are you doing?
Heinrich: I'm Tappan Zee Bridge
Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just 1 alloy?
What a steel!
I'm just trying to buy a whistle: I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
Then i bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle. So, i bought a lead whistle but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians
Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is to remove their pants and examine their genitalia. All Ukrainians have b**... of steel. Even women.
Superman has to make a doctor appointment...
The doctor is baffled when he walks into the patient room and finds THE Superman sitting on the bench.
"Erm... hello Superman, what seems to be the problem? I'm going to be honest I didn't realize that the man of steel needed to go to the doctor.."
Clearly uncomfortable Superman lowers his gaze and sighs..
"Doc, this is a little embarrassing but it burns when I see..."
What do you call a flower salesman?
A petal peddler.
What if he sold steel flowers?
A metal petal peddler.
What if he got a bicycle?
A pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he won a race?
A medaling pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he won by tricking others?
A medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he didn't win by enough?
A petty medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he stood up to calls to disqualify him?
A petty medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler with mettle.
What if this whole situation just made him sad and withdrawn, with no one to support him?
A pitiful petty medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler with mettle.
There was a giant, steel, robot who had one job, protect the city.
One day when it was raining some of the screws got rusty and fell off causing one of the legs to fall off entirely. When the leg fell off it crushed the city that it was meant to protect.
Oh, the iron knee!
