The Best 74 Steel Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Steel jokes. There are some steel iron jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these steel man of steel puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Steel Jokes and Puns
What do you call steel chicken feed?
Impeccable.
What do you call a coked-up Iron Man?
Steel Man.
Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war?
Because they were alloys.
What does a steel-worker frog like to do on the job?
Rivet.
I had a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, and it steel wooden whistle.
But then I bought a tin whistle, and now I tin whistle!
What would be the American version of "Duck Quacks Don't Echo"?
"Jet Fuel Don't Melt Steel Beams".
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?
Steel wool
Steelers defense, last night.
I had a wooden whistle...
And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.
Where does steel wool come from?
Hydraulic rams.
What happens if you steel?
You have to get Alloy-er
You can explore steel alloy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean steel stainless dad jokes. There are also steel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My parents were in the iron and steel industry...
My mother had to iron and my father had to steal.
If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)
What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!
What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!
What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!
Very offensive man on the loose with flint and steel
Sparks outrage
I've recently started eating steel
It's a refined taste
What material do african blacksmiths use the most?
Steel.
Detailed Cleaning
I asked a friend of mine by phone what he was doing. He told me he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed. In further conversation, I learned that he was "washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision."
What's a thief's favorite type of armour?
Steel armour
Why was the steel angry?
Because it lost it's temper.
Old School Friend
I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now. He replied that he was currently working on:
*Aqua-thermal treatment on ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment*
I was impressed......
On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water under his wife's supervision.
What did steel say to the concrete?
Don't take too much tension!
I bought a wooden whistle
but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle,
but it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle,
but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a copper whistle,
but the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a tin whistle,
now I can whistle.
Guy walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer from the bartender
As he is sipping his beverage, he looks down and sees a gorilla sitting at the other end.
He asks the bartender, *"What's with the gorilla?"*
The bartender says, *"Oh, that's Mable. She does a trick. Want to see it?"*
*"Sure"*
So the bartender whistles and Mable comes lumbering down the length of the bar.
The bartender pulls out a heavy steel pipe and hits the gorilla in the side of its head. The gorilla drops to its knees and starts giving the bartender a blow job.
*"Wow!"*, says the guy.
The bartender says, *"Pretty amazing, huh? You want to try?"*
The guys says, *"Yeah, sure! Just don't hit me so hard."*
Why is leather armour better for sneaking than steel armour?
Leather armour is made of hide.
What do you call a steel stick that you can pull out of concrete?
Excalrebar!
Why is a blacksmith called a blacksmith?
A whitesmith wouldn't steel
After hours of working on every syllable of this masterpiece, I bring you a haiku I've titled "Truth in hindsight"
The sky is blue
The grass is green
Jetfuel can't melt steel beams
Why didn't the other metals want to hang out with the hard steel?
Because of his hot temper
Whistle Puns
One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!
How did the Blacksmith pick up the red hot 1000° steel cube with just his hands?
He just held it by the cubes corners which were 90°
Which weighs more? A ton of feathers? Or a ton of steel?
Feathers. You'll have to carry the weight of what you did to all those birds.
A homophobic man walks into a gay bar
He gets a concussion. Turns out gay steel is just as hard as straight steel.
Why would George W Bush be a bad blacksmith?
He apparently can't melt steel beams.
One day, I went to a store and bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to that store again and got a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
Frustrated, I went to that store one last time and bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle!
I paid $3 for a block of metal yesterday
It was really quite the steel
What does the blacksmith say when his materials are on sale?
"What a steel!"
I built the most American guitar ever
Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.
Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.
I like to call steel beams "cats."
People often look at me oddly, but then I explain it to them:
"CFe lines!"
Whistles
I bought a wooden whistle...
But it wooden whistle
So I bought a steel whistle...
But it steel wooden whistle
Then I bought a lead whistle...
But it steel wooden lead me whistle!
I bought a wooden whistle
...but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle.
Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle.
Finally, I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.
I worked with a guy on a building site...
I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.
Where does steel wool come from?
Dodge Rams.
I was going to put a joke on here about carpentry.
But i didn't think it wood work........
so i decided to add some metal work instead,
but i realised it steel wooden work.....
Men are like steel
They're useless when they lose their temper
Why do shovels hate digging up metal?
Because of the irony
Sorry I guess you couldn't handle the joke
I'm gonna dig up some more
I'll spade you of any more puns
If you couldn't sit through that you're a tool
(Please don't steel this joke it took me a long time to come up with it (credit to u/ImToastedBruh for the steel part))
I made a wooden car
But it wooden go
Then I made a steel car
But it steel wooden go
Then I made a lead car
But it steel wooden lead me go
A 50 kg woman , 50 kg of feather , and 50 kg of steel ,which one is heavier?
The woman
Because girls lie about their weight
A doggo was born without hind legs, but had balls of steel...
They named him Sparky
Have you heard the joke about the steel rod?
No? Let metal you.
A car thief gets brought before the judge
Judge: Why did you steel the car?
Thief: I had to get to work.
Judge: And why didn't you take the bus instead?
Thief: I've got no licence for driving a bus.
I was supposed to pay $500 for a single chunk of metal
what a steel....
These days, iron and steel are traded on the international commodity market, and if you need some, you just need to contact a trader.
Formerly, if you wanted iron or steel, you would need to go to an ironworks or even a blacksmith's and negotiate directly with the men who made it.
Whoever smelted, dealt it.
I called a friend and asked what he was doing.
He replied that he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed...
Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.
I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now.
He replied that he was currently working on:
\*Aqua-thermal treatment on ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment\*
I was impressed......
On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water under his wife's supervision.
2 guys are watching a naked man free fall from a cliff
one guy says: I thought he was crazy at first, but now I realise he has got balls of steel
the other says: Yes, i know. And its making him fall even faster!!
(original joke, hope you like!!)
I heard that steel got into a heated argument once
Ever since then, it has been tempered metal.
Grandma said I she'd knit whatever I want if I pick the yarn...
So I bought her some steel wool and asked her to knit me a car
My mind is like a steel trap
I can use it once and then I have to reset it.
This is an old joke
What do you call a short legged dog with steel balls?
Sparky
What's another name for a 100% steel cage?
A Nickelless Cage.
I've stopped burning bridges in my life
because they make them out of steel now.
What's black and white and can cut through steel beams?
A penguin with a lightsaber
They say that WWII was won with American steel, British intelligence, and Soviet blood
Of course, they wouldn't have gotten very far on Soviet steel, American intelligence, and British blood
Two German explorers
Two German explorers were making their way east across New York when they came to a wide river.
Karl: How vill vee get across dee large body of vater?
The other explorer sees a large, steel object north of them.
Heinrich: Look der es und structure dat vee can use to cross
Karl and Heinrich make their way across and into the land know as upstate New York. Karl gets to the other side but notices that his companion is still behind. Karl also notices that he is continuously poking his finger on the object they just crossed.
Karl: Heinrich, vat are you doing?
Heinrich: I'm Tappan Zee Bridge
Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just 1 alloy?
What a steel!
Steel producers are grappling with the high price of iron...
...they say it's a terrible ore deal.
(An ore-ful joke, I know.)
Which weighs more, a ton of steel or a ton of feathers?
A ton of feathers, because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
Did you hear that the guy that makes rings and necklaces out of steel is closing his shop for today?
Yes, it's ferrous jeweller's day off.
I'm just trying to buy a whistle: I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
Then i bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle. So, i bought a lead whistle but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians
Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as Russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is to remove their pants and examine their genitalia. All Ukrainians have balls of steel. Even women.
What's the reason for an acute shortage of steel in the world?
Zelenski's Balls!
They say WW2 was won by American steel, British intelligence, and Russian blood
Who knew that WW3 would be won the same way?
Superman has to make a doctor appointment...
The doctor is baffled when he walks into the patient room and finds THE Superman sitting on the bench.
"Erm... hello Superman, what seems to be the problem? I'm going to be honest I didn't realize that the man of steel needed to go to the doctor.."
Clearly uncomfortable Superman lowers his gaze and sighs..
"Doc, this is a little embarrassing but it burns when I see..."
What do you call a flower salesman?
A petal peddler.
What if he sold steel flowers?
A metal petal peddler.
What if he got a bicycle?
A pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he won a race?
A medaling pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he won by tricking others?
A medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he didn't win by enough?
A petty medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler.
What if he stood up to calls to disqualify him?
A petty medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler with mettle.
What if this whole situation just made him sad and withdrawn, with no one to support him?
A pitiful petty medaling meddling pedaling metal petal peddler with mettle.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the steel titanium jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working steel mill piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.