Steam Jokes
117 steam jokes and hilarious steam puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about steam that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read the funniest steam jokes on our webpage! From steam engine to steam roller, steam fitter to steam locomotive, there's a joke for everyone. Whether you like your steam jokes in vapor form or you like your steam jokes with a bit of lag, we guarantee you'll be entertained.
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Funniest Steam Short Jokes
Short steam jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steam humour may include short brew jokes also.
- My girlfriend tried to take a selfie in the shower, but it was too blurry. She has selfie steam issues.
- I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in Steam.
- I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
- A man died due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle He had serious selfie steam issues.
- If you find it hard to take pictures of yourself in the sauna... You have selfie-steam issues.
- A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians.
- I was looking for a Dating Simulator on Steam. It said "Sorry, no matches found."
The level of realism is incredible. - How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because PETA can't change anything.
-A joke I found inside the game manual for Super Meat Boy for Steam. - I was at a Chinese restaurant... when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings.
- Why is Jesus less powerful than a locomotive? Because Jesus could only walk on water but a locomotive runs on steam.
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Steam One Liners
Which steam one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steam? I can suggest the ones about tube and engine.
- What's the easiest way to lose 20 pounds? The Steam summer sale
- What do you call a crippled kid locked in a hot car? Steamed Vegetable.
- How did the dumpling win the race? It took a “steamed-y” approach!
- Why did the dumpling go to the party? It wanted to make some “steam-y” friends!
- I like my camgirls like I like my French fries. Steaming hot and covered in oil.
- When I'm stressed, I like to iron my clothes It's a great way to let off steam.
- What does the train use to fuel it's gaming addiction? Steam.
I'm so sorry. - What do you call a discount sauna? A steam sale
- Heard about the man that refuse to let other use his sauna? He has selfish steam issues
- Al Pacino's brother is steaming that his parents... named him Cap.
- What happens to water when it gets all fired up? It lets off steam.
^^...I'm ^^sorry - How did Thomas the Tank become a faster steam engine? He trained.
- Why does Hannibal take paralysed patients to the sauna? He's just steaming vegetables!
- I really like vaping... It's a good way to blow off steam
- What does a train conductor do when he's angry? He blows off some steam
Steam Train Jokes
Here is a list of funny steam train jokes and even better steam train puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My grandfather's dying wish was to be pushed in front of a steam train. When it finally happened, he was chuffed to bits.
- Did you hear about the guy who jumped in front of a steam train? He was chuffed to bits.
- Did you hear about the train that delivers games It's really picking up steam
- I once had a friend who really wanted to get run over by a steam train When he did he was chuffed to bits
- What do you call an emotional train? A self-steam engine.
- Saw a really nice steam train today. I was chuffed.
- Our friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train. Last week we made his dream come true! He was chuffed to bits.
- Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas? They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.
- Why do old trains run? To blow off some steam.
- I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
Steam Roller Jokes
Here is a list of funny steam roller jokes and even better steam roller puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I told my dumplings to be careful not to get burnt, but they said I was just trying to steam-roller them.
- How Wonderful Did you hear the story of the man that had the great honor of being crushed by a steam roller?
He was flattered - What do you get when you cross a raccoon, and a steam roller? What do you get when you cross a raccoon, and a steam roller?
Rascal Flatts. - I recently got ran over by a steam roller people said i should be offended, but i was flattered.
- My uncle is a staunch flat earth proponent And a steam roller operator
- How is a lobster like Bruce Lee after he'd been hit by a steam roller? They're both crushed asians.
Steam Powered Jokes
Here is a list of funny steam powered jokes and even better steam powered puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I filled a steam engine with Holy Water. The Power of Christ Propels You!
The Power of Christ Propels You!
The Power of Christ Propels You! - Why are Valve's game consoles so obsolete? Because, they're steam powered.
Steam Engine Jokes
Here is a list of funny steam engine jokes and even better steam engine puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Valve is releasing a new game engine to replace Source The Steam engine.
- What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine? A puff-adder
Quirky and Hilarious Steam Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about steam you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stream jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steam pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you guys hear about Evil Kinevil's brother Ku Klux Kenivel?
He tried to break a world record by jumping over 1000 black men with a steam roller.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rick s**...
What's the difference between s**... and a feline-powered steam train?
One's a kitty shunt...
my friend said he would buy me a game on steam if i can come up with a joke based on these subjects. if you guys could help! id be really appreciated! if not i understand this is asking a lot.
Russians,a Small Animal, an American,a Brazilian and a Cruise Ship. thanks in advance for anything any one comes up with!
Not what he was expecting....
A hot divorcee moved in next door to an elderly man who has been lonely for most of his life. A couple of weeks later, she stops at his house for a moment. "I'm ready", she says to him, and his package starts to rise-----he can't help himself! "I wanna blow off some steam, get drunk, and get laid! Can I ask you something before I do that?" The man replies, "Sure!" and is so hard, he can't think clearly. "Can you watch my kids?" the divorcee asks.
What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time?
A crustacean
:D
:D
So my friend said that abortion jokes have been losing steam recently...
I personally thought they've been killing them to early.
I heard there's a new Bread simulator game on Steam..
It's a great game if you're just loafing around.
Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?
It raises their shellfish steam.
(Real Story) All of a sudden, my Steam language was set to Russian.
I was changing it back to English, when my hand slipped. But it's okay, now. I have everything in Czech.
Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?
He was blowing off Steam
When it boils down to it
water is just steam.
Did you hear about the water that got so angry that he boiled himself?
He just had to let off some steam.
I don't have a high opinion about myself when I play PC games...
It's my low self on Steam.
Why isn't there a neutron mod in the Skyrim Steam Workshop?
Because there'd be no charge.
Why did the water turn into steam?
It mistbehaved
What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China?
Steam customer service
How many Steam employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Honestly Im not sure, they havent got back to me yet. It's been 3 weeks.
Why did the cook take the paraplegics to the sauna ?
To steam the vegetables.
What is steam?
Its what you get when you put water on my mixtape
Some people say I'm unemployed, but I say I work..
for steam customer support
I tried to capture steam from the sauna...
But I mist.
What are kids on steam?
Early Access
Why Did the Italian Go to the Sauna?
For a self'a steam.
My girlfriend ruined my self esteem
But then she told me to buy myself a steam account.
Where does Peter Gabriel get his video games from?
Steam
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Tupac say when he drove a steam train?
*I didn't choose the c**... life, the c**... life chose me.*
So a Steam iron offers a club soda to a Dry iron..
And the dry iron says "No thanks i prefer the hibiscus tea"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pupil: My neighbour, Mr Chang, got run over and killed by a steam roller. Teacher: Johnny! That's awful and has nothing to do with the homework I set you. Sit down immediately!
Pupil: But Miss, you said we had to talk about crushed Asians.
My friend keeps buying games, but never finds time to play them!
He says it's his way of blowing off steam.
I bought a duplex steam locomotive
It cost me Allegheny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl, you're like steam.
Too hot, but I'll try touching you anyway.
^^^^^.
^^^^^.
^^^^^.
(This is just a joke. Dont actually do this.)
Steam is having a sale right now on Finnish games.
Next week they'll go back to selling unfinished games.
Iron with intellectual steam supply
Cons: Hardly does its job
Pros: Ridiculously hisses Hegel's quotes
What does Valve's Steam and crypto have in common?
They have winter sales.
I love taking photos of myself standing next to boiling water.
My doctor says I have selfie steam issues.
What is steam punk?
A kettle that plays three chords.
Why did the angry kettle feel calm after he was scammed?
He just had to let off some steam
A steamboat captain brought his son along on a short cruise upriver to show him what he does for a living, but all the kid wanted to do was steer the boat. Insisting that his father taught him enough to handle the job, he asked the pilot to let him take the helm...
"Okay..." said the pilot. "But you must pass a small test first. If I asked you to turn to the left, what nautical term should I use?"
"Turn to port!" said the boy.
"Correct!" said the pilot.
"If I wanted you to turn the boat to the right, what direction would that be?"
"Starboard!" said boy grinning from ear to ear.
"Good for you!" said the pilot.
"And straight?" asked the pilot.
The boy quickly replied, "Without ice!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
One says, 'Spit that gum out!'
While the other says nothing as it is a steam train.
Whenever I go to a sauna, I must have the whole thing to my self...
I have selfish steam issues.
Why did the kettle get so hot?
It needed to blow off steam!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having a s**... s**... with my wife's younger sister.
When she suddenly walked into our activity and said, "You people disgust me."
I said, "We never discussed you at all."
Metro: Exodus is the 3rd game in the Metro series.
No wonder its not releasing on Steam.
American intervention is kind of like my cooking...
It always involves a lot of oil... I steam in without really knowing what I'm doing... and lots of people die.
My wife went to the argument center
She wanted to let off some steam so she paid £5 at the desk and went in. She was assigned with her arguer and he said,
'£5 please'
'I've already paid, so let's get this goi-'
'I'm really sorry, but to begin you're going to have to give me £5'
'I'm really sorry I don't have much patience today and you're the last thing I-'
And she walked out
Two guys are headed to a friend's house.
"Not sure we should go there now. Something messed up happened to him. He needs to let off some steam."
The other friend says while eating a bag of candy
"Choo choo"
You know what is the first thing you need to create steam?
A VALVe.
Why do people always talk about gaming on politics subs?
Also, can anyone tell me why Mortal Kombat: Ultra isn't on Steam?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On a hot summer day there were two boys playing by a stream.
One boy went over to the bush to check out some noises.
He pointed out a woman bathing n**... in the steam.
So, both boys decided to stay and watch her.
All of a sudden the second boy took off running.
The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend.
Finally, he caught up to him and asked his friend why he had run away.
The second boy said to his friend, My mom told me that if I ever saw a n**... lady, I'd turn to stone.
I felt something getting hard, so I ran.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I Needed to Blow Off Some Steam so I Went to the w**......
...but the door was locked. Then the Madam came down and said, "We're closed. Beat it."
Dihydrogen Monoxide is a complex term that can confuse many people
But to make it simple, it really just boils down to steam.
