The Best 65 Steaks Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Steaks jokes. There are some steaks filet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these steaks wookiee puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Steaks Jokes and Puns
Gambler
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said "No, the steaks are too high".
Why should a midget not attempt to slaughter a cow?
The steaks are just too high.
A man walks into a butchers...
The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
What kind of poker do stoner cows play?
High Steaks
Why can't short people cook?
Because the steaks are too high.
A man walks into a bar
He notices some pieces of meat hanging down from the ceiling. He goes up to the bartender and asks "What's with the meat on the ceiling?"
Bartender:"It's a challenge. If you can jump up and touch one, you get free beer for a night."
Man:"Nah, pass".
Bartender: "What? Why not?"
Man:"The steaks are too high"
Why did the dwarf chef leave the restaurant?
Because the steaks were too high.
I only eat beef raised on marijuana...
I like it when the steaks are high.
Why don't cows smoke weed?
The steaks would just be too high.
You can explore steaks butcher reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean steaks slab dad jokes. There are also steaks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field.
The steaks have never been higher.
Dude walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
...He asked the bartender, "What are those for?" Bartender answers, "If you can slap a piece of meat, you get free drinks for an hour. If you can't, everyone's drinks are on you. Do you want to try it?"
He replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high."
The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.
The steaks were high.
A group of midgets were planning to rob a butcher's...
But the steaks were just too high.
Rescue attempts are being made to save a bull stranded on Mt. Everest
Reports confirm that the steaks have never been higher.
A man from out of town walks into a bar...
he sees large pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender why the meat is hanging down from the ceiling. The bartender says "Around these parts we have a challenge. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get it for free. If you can't you have to pay the price of the meat but you don't get it. How about taking the bet?" The man looks up at the meat. "Nah" He says. "The steaks are too high.
My friend lives in Colorado and wanted to start growing weed on his cow farm. I told him it wasn't a good idea.
The steaks would be too high.
A man walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling
The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drink for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah the steaks are too high".
Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?
Because the steaks are too high.
Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane?
The steaks couldn't have been higher.
A farmer spent over $12 million to see the effects of marijuana on cows...
The steaks had never been higher.
I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf.
He said he couldn't.... the steaks were too high.
A man walks into a bar with his buddies and sees three steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He asks the bartender "Why are there three steaks hanging from the ceiling?"
The bartender replies "It's a contest sort of thing, actually. If you can jump and slap one of the steaks, you and your buddies get free drinks for the night. If not, you have to pay for everyone in the bar's drinks for the next hour. Wanna give it a try?"
The man thinks for a few minutes and makes his decision.
"Bartender, as much as my buddies and I would like free drinks, the stakes are just too high."
My friends and I were betting
My friends and I were betting, how much weed would it take to get a cow stoned.
Needless to say, the steaks were high
(Never heard this joke before, I hope it is original)
Why should you never store meat on the top shelf of the freezer?
The steaks would be too high.
Why shouldn't you feed marijuana to cattle?
Because of the high steaks.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.
He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.
Ranchers in Colorado are conducting a crucial experiment on the environmental sustainability of using hemp as a feed source for cattle.
The steaks have never been higher.
A man walks into a steakhouse
A man walks into a steakhouse and sees a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling.
"What's with the meat?" he asks the hostess.
She says, "It's a contest we are running. If you can jump up and grab a piece, your entire meal is free."
"And what if I miss?"
"Then you need to buy everyone in the restaurant a drink. Do you want to try?"
He looks up again.
"No, the steaks are too high."
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
I smoked weed with a couple of cows near a police station.
The steaks were really high.
My cows broke out of their pasture, and started grazing in my marijuana field.
The steaks have never been higher.
I told my dad the strip club had the best steaks in town. He told me what their slogan should be.
You can't beat the meat here.
I went cow tipping in a marijuana field
The steaks were high
So a guy walks into a bar and sees three steaks taped to the ceiling....
He then asks the bartender why are there three steaks taped to the ceiling? The bartender says well you get one shot, if you jump up and touch one of the steaks then you get free drinks for the rest of the day, however if you miss, you must buy everyone else's drinks for the next hour. The guy ponders for a minute and then says, I would do it, but the stakes are too high.
My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air
I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, "If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar £100. Do you want to have a go?"
The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, "Nah, the steaks are too high!"
A man walks into a bar..
A man walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling, about 12 feet high. He asks the bartender, Why are there these steaks hanging from the ceiling? . The bartender then replies, We have this challenge where of you can jump and hit one of the meats, you drink for free tonight, but if you miss, you have to buy drinks for everyone else in the bar. Wanna give it a try?
The man then replies, Nah, the steaks are too high
I accidentally let my cows graze in a patch of marijuana, and if anyone finds out I could lose everything.
The steaks have never been higher.
A gang of midget burglars broke into a butchers but fled empty handed.
It seems the steaks were too high.
You tell them you're quitting alcohol, they offer you free drinks.
You tell them you're vegan, they offer you steaks and hamburgers.
You tell them you have no sexual life and ... nobody bats an eye.
A guy walks into a bar...
He sees 2 steaks nailed to the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "What's up with those two steaks?"
The bartender replies,
"if you can jump up and take those two steaks from the ceiling, I'll give you $1,000,000, if not, I'll cut your arms off."
The guy then replies,
"I won't do it, the stakes are too high."
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.
The guy asks "what's this about?". the bartender replies, "well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You want to have a go?" The guy replies, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."
Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.
They're always raising the steaks.
A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender
"what's the deal with the steaks?"
"It's a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night"
The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.
"Nah, the steaks are too high"
Did you hear about the cattle farmer that experimented with feeding his cow cannabis?
The results were promising at first but it turned out the steaks were too high.
I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder.
He said the steaks were too high.
I quit my career as a professional poker player, and I decided to open a grocery store.
For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.
A man walks into a bar.
He notices a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. He goes to the bartender and asks what's with the meat on the ceiling?
The bartender says If you can jump up in the air and touch the meat, then the rest of the night your drinks are free. But if you jump up and miss, then you have to pay for everyone's drinks in the whole bar for the next hour. What do you say? Do you want to take the chance?
The man says No, the steaks are too high!
My cows just wandered into a field of Marijuana
The steaks have never been so high.
If McDonalds sold fancy steaks they'd call them Filet Mc'gnons
...also it's my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!
A couple of cows were smoking a joint while playing cards....
That's right, the steaks were pretty high.
Jokes about steaks are rare...
But they are usually well done
A man walks into a bar...
As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what's with the meat?
The bartender says, If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?
The man takes another look at the meat, then says, I think I'll pass. The steaks are too high.
Tonight, I will be judging the "World's Largest Ribeye" competition. I am not sure who will win.
But the steaks are huge.
A couple of cows were smoking weed and playing poker
The steaks were high.
A man walks into a bar and sees a bunch of steaks hanging from the ceiling, he asks the bartender "what's going on?"
The bartender says: "If you can jump up, grab a piece of meat and pull it down it's yours, if not, you have to buy everyone a drink"
The man replies: "No thanks, the steaks are too high"
It's risky to cook barbeque and smoke weed
Because the steaks are high.
TIFU by neglecting the fence between our marijuana farm and the cattle ranch next door.
We're struggling to salvage our crop for harvest this year, and the steaks have never been higher.
Fire broke out at a local marijuana farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch.
The steaks were high
A bunch of cows were smoking weed & playing poker.
Man, we're those steaks high in that game!
I took a massive gamble and just sunk all my life savings into a Butcher shop on a blimp.
The steaks have never been higher!
What do you call a group of cows who play poker on the roof?
High steaks
Back in my day, you could walk into a store with $25 and walk out with 2 ribeye steaks, a case of beer, a pack of toilet paper and a gallon of milk. You just can't do that anymore….
Too many cameras.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the steaks meat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working steaks burger piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.