Steak Jokes

Funniest Steak Short Jokes

Short steak jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steak humour may include short beef jokes also.

1. I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder. He said the steaks were too high.
2. What is Chipotle most known for? - A. Steak Bowls
   - B. Delicious Tacos
   - C. Chips
   - D. Burritos
   - E. Coli
3. Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak? Because the hamburger is in the ground state.
4. The waiter asked me how I like my steak. I said rare. He said you're in luck, today's special is panda.
5. Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
6. If mcdonalds sold fancy steaks they'd call them Filet Mc'gnons ...also it's my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!
7. My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.
8. Waiter: And how would you like your steak prepared? Me: Guess
   Waiter: Medium rare?
   Me: Well done
   Waiter: Uhhh..
9. Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane? The steaks couldn't have been higher.
10. Why should you never store meat on the top shelf of the freezer? The steaks would be too high.

Share These Steak Jokes With Friends

Steak One Liners

Which steak one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steak? I can suggest the ones about meat and filet.

1. I asked a chef if he ever served a steak raw.. He said yeah but it's rare.
2. Why didn't Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.
3. What do you call a cow spying on another cow? A steak out
4. Why don't vegans take risks? Because their life could be at steak.
5. What's the opposite of ground beef? High steaks
6. I had small wookiee steak for dinner... ...it was a little chewie.
7. 2 Stormtrooper are eating a Wookie steak it was chewy
8. What's a tired dragon's favorite steak? Flaming yawn
9. What do you call an illegitimate female cow? Miss Steak
10. What do you call a barbeque for the FBI? A steak-out
11. My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried His life is at steak
12. Why can't short people cook? Because the steaks are too high.
13. Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers. They're always raising the steaks.
14. What is a vampires least favorite food? Steak!
    ...I'll see myself out now.
15. I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made.

Steak Rare Jokes

Here is a list of funny steak rare jokes and even better steak rare puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I cooked a medium-rare steak for my friend, and he said, I like it Well Done. I said, Thanks buddy. That means a lot.
• A waiter served me some rare steak But when I told him "I like it well done", he said "thank you".
• Steak related jokes are not very common... But when it's good, it's a rare medium well done.
• Guy orders a steak at a restaurant. The waiter brings it out and its rare.
  "Excuse me, I said well done." says the guy
  "Oh sorry, I didn't hear you", says the waiter, "Thanks very much!"
• How do you like your steak Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
  Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
  Waiter: Rare it is.
• I cooked for my fiancée's parents for the first time As I handed out the rarely cooked steak Harry (her father) said, "I like it well done."
  I said, "Thanks, that means a lot."
• There aren't many books on how to cook steak It's a rare medium done well.
• A steak pun is a rare medium well done
• The waitress brought me the wrong order at Texas Road House, and I told her it was a Miss Steak. She shook her head, sighed, and told me, "Steak jokes are a rare medium well done."
• I like my work like I like my steak Rare and definitely not well done.

Steak So Rare Jokes

Here is a list of funny steak so rare jokes and even better steak so rare puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Happy Steak and BJ Day! When only one should be rare and the other well done.
• According to a recent poll 9 out of 10 people have never had Steak Tartare. Apparently it's very rare.
• Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked.. ...but that's rare.
• I ordered a steak last night and it came a bit undercooked. I don't usually eat it that way.. ..But last night was a rare occasion
• I made a good video about steak in a sea of bad videos about steak... I guess you could say it's a rare example of a medium well done.
• Is it possible to get steak poisoning? Yes, but it's really rare.
• My pronouns are Rare/Medium Rare. And if you don't use these, my feelings and mental health is at steak...
• "Two steaks please", I asked the writer. "Rare for me, medium rare for my friend." He brought us a lovely bit of panda and a nice chunk of giraffe.
• I don't usually eat steak... so when I do it's quite rare.......
• My friend has become a master of making art out of steak. It is a rare medium, but well done.

Rare Steak Jokes

Here is a list of funny rare steak jokes and even better rare steak puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Friends are like steaks If you grill them for long enough, they become rare
• How do cats like their steak joke? Rare
  P.S.
  Rare sounds like a cat meowing. Get it?
• My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics. It was called "Steak Medium Rare"
• Texas is a lot like India Steaks are rare
• Why are Good steaks hard to find? Because it's a rare medium well done.
• Why dont most people order medium steaks? Because they're rarely well done
• About tasty steaks. You knowing the art of making a steak is a rare medium well done.
• My date left just because I wanted my steak medium rare. Oh well, I wouldn't have had it any other way.
• So a few friends end I walk into a restaurant. I order a steak. When the waiter asks if I would like it well done, medium rare, or rare; I reply
  "I like my steaks legendary"
• How often do people order their steaks rare? Very rarely

Well Done Steak Jokes

Here is a list of funny well done steak jokes and even better well done steak puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• TIFU by complimenting a waiter at a steakhouse I told him "well done!" and he decided to burn my steak?? Tf
• Two steaks walk into a bar, and slam the door behind them Bartender say, you think you're tough? The bigger steak says, you just described me perfectly. Well done
• Do you want to hear a joke about steak? Never mind, I'll tell you later. But it's very well done.
• What did the steak say to his child after he Achieved something? Well Done,My Child.
• I saw the clearest evidence in not supporting trump in the paper today He eats his steak well done. With ketchup.
• How do patronising people like their steak cooked? Well Done
• My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done
• I like my steak like I like my compliments... Well done.
• Hey, God, how do you like your steak cooked? "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
• What did the sarcastic chef say when his assistant over-cooked his steak? Well done.

Ridiculous Steak Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about steak you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roast beef jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steak pranks.