Steak Dinner Jokes
49 steak dinner jokes and hilarious steak dinner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about steak dinner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Steak Dinner Short Jokes
Short steak dinner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The steak dinner humour may include short steak jokes also.
- A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant The man says to the chef:
"Gee, this steak is rubbery!" And the chef replies "thank you very much!" - So a guy is eating a steak dinner at a restaurant... ...when the waitress comes over and asked the man "How did you find the steak, sir?" The man looks at her and says "I just moved the potatoes."
- My wife dropped a piece of steak down her shirt at dinner last night. I told her not to worry, it was only a little missed steak!
- Everybody wanted steak for dinner but my kid wanted lobster My wife is now scolding me for caving to his shellfish demands
- I had to ask for help to reach my favorite TV dinner from the top shelf of the frozen foods aisle. The steaks were too high.
- Due to covid-19, I am not able to have a wonderful wagyu steak dinner at a restaurant for my anniversary Usually it's due to the lack of money.
- I wanted to make me chicken for dinner but I picked up the wrong meat at the grocery store. I made me steaks.
- What's for dinner Dad? What's for dinner Dad?
*Wookie steak.*
Is it any good?
*A little Chewy* - Took the wife out for dinner... ...but all she did was play footsie under the table.
Eventually, I managed to order a steak. She got toed in the hole.
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Steak Dinner One Liners
Which steak dinner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with steak dinner? I can suggest the ones about dinner and steak rare.
- Why didn't Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.
- I had small wookiee steak for dinner... ...it was a little chewie.
- How to make your steak taste better? Eat it with bunch of vegans on the dinner table.
- If you don't order beef for dinner... That's a missed steak.
- I hate reality. But where else can you get a good steak dinner?
- What did the Buddhist monk say to the dog that ran off with his dinner? NAMA-STEAK
- I decided to give a name to my dinner. It was a Miss Steak.
- What did the cannibal comedian say as he battled through his steak dinner? Tough crowd.
- I missed dinner tonight It was a big missed steak. . .
- Jeffrey d**... once sent me a dinner invitation But the offer was a me steak.
Charming Humor Steak Dinner Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about steak dinner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dinner party jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make steak dinner pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For Men Having Steak For Dinner, Is Just Like Having s**......
Generally you are eating out, it cost alot and you never want to finish...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A husband and wife went out to dinner
A husband and wife went out to dinner. They settled in a nice steak restaurant and begin ordering. The man told the waiter, "I would like a regular sirloin steak." The waiter asks, "and the doneness?" The man says, " I would like it b**...-rare." The concerned waiter asks, "what about Mad-Cow?" The man replies, "Oh, she can order for herself."
A stormtrooper sits down to have dinner with his family...
His son asks him "dad what is this we are eating?"
The stromtrooper replies "Baby wookie steaks. How is it?"
His sons says "It's a little chewy."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris
The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter e**... the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"
Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner
Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner. The waiter comes along and asks her what she will be eating tonight.
Margaret replies, 'I'll have the steak.'
The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?'
To which Margaret says, 'They'll have the same as me.'
A boy works up the courage to ask the girl he likes on a date
The girl, liking him back, agrees to go on the date.
The boy tells her "Before we go on our date, there's something I have to tell you about myself. I only eat insects."
The girl finds this to be very strange but accepts it because she likes him.
They go out to dinner and the girl orders a steak while the boy eats an arrangement of insects he brought from home.
In the parking lot after dinner the two lock eyes, lean in, and slowly kiss each other. After the kiss the girls eyes are lit up with magic and she asks the boy how their first kiss felt.
The boy replies "I've got butterflies in my stomach."
[Long] I was at dinner with my wife...
I ordered a steak and the waiter delivered it with his thumb on top of it. "Sir, this is unacceptable, your thumb was in my food," I complained. The waiter replied, "I'm sorry sir, I didn't want it to fall on the floor again."
My father looked at me over the dinner table as I chewed on a massive steak
"Aren't you going to eat anything else?"
He asked.
"Cavemen only ate meat, do you see any of them around?"
I looked up at him and replied.
"Yes."
A couple are about to finish their dinner, when the waiter arrives.
Waiter: How did you like your steak, ma'am?
Wife: Oh it was good, thank you. Pay the chef my compliments.
Waiter: And Sir, how did you find your Pork Belly?
Husband: Oh well, we met on a train some fifteen years ago...
When I was about 5
On holiday with my parents, after a loooong day we finally go for dinner. We all ask for steaks. The waiter asks how we want them. Everyone else says for medium. With a surprising look I confidently ask the waiter for an extra large one! Idiots!!
Bill and Hillary Clinton are eating dinner in a town where there has been a recent outbreak of Mad Cow disease.
When the waiter comes to take their order, Bill asks for a steak.
But sir, what about the Mad Cow? the waiter asks, concerned.
Don't worry, Bill replies, she'll order for herself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer accidentally let his cows graze on his w**... field
Dinner that night was high steaks
Just as quarantine ends, you win your choice of an all-expenses-paid vacation anywhere in the world for you and your spouse, or a steak dinner with your friends. Which do you choose...
(a) medium rare,
(b) medium, or
(c) well done?
When I had dinner with my parents at a restaurant, they argued over whether we should get french fries of mashed potatoes to go with the steak. They asked me whom I agree with, but
I couldn't pick a side
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This is a traditional joke from my culture. Warning, the humor is a bit different than you're used to
Two men are having dinner. One man orders an uncooked fish, and the other man orders uncooked steak. Both are skeptical of the other's raw food. The fish man then orders a Martini, and the steak man orders pure alcohol. The fish man tells the other man not to drink it. The steak man c**... the alcohol. A few hours later, the steak man is at the hospital. The fish man visits. The fish man tells him that he once pulled a charger out of the wall. The steak man dies.
A couple is having a dinner at home.
A couple is having a dinner at home.A husband has a big piece of steak with the small piece of steak on his plate.He decided to give his wife the smaller one and he eats the bigger one.
The wife then remembers her past:"When we were first married,you give me the bigger steak and eat the smaller one. Now you don't love me anymore!!"
The husband replies:"That's nonsense darling,you cook better now!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
Man and woman are out on a dinner date.
Waiter: "What will you be having tonight ma'am?"
Woman: "I'll have the salad, no nuts please."
Waiter: "Of course."
Man: "But it didn't say it had nuts."
Woman: "I'm allergic, so I tell them just to be safe."
Man: "That makes sense."
Waiter: "And for you, sir?"
Man: "I'll have the steak, no bees please."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was enjoying a beautiful steak for dinner with a girl i recently met as she suddenly said "Enjoying your meat? m**...!??"
Like can she not bring up the fact that i shot her parents for one meal?
Businessman
Businessman walks into a motel/brothel. Ask the lady working the front desk...I'd like a room and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, boring in bed woman and a bologna sandwich.
The receptionist looks at him confused and says for that price we could get you our youngest, kindest, skinniest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.
The man replys ma'am you don't understand me...I'm homesick.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've had constipation for 3 months
Never been to the doctors in years, but took myself there as not had a number 2 in a long time.
Doc says "what have you been eating"?
I said well doc I've been eating snooker b**...!!
What?? Snooker b**... Charlie??
Yes doc, in the morning I have 3 reds a pink, bowl porridge and a nice cup of tea.
Lunch is a sandwich a black, 2 reds and a yellow washed down with another cup of tea.
For dinner I have a nice steak, 4 reds 2 blues 1 brown again washed down with a nice cup of tea.
Doc said "hey Charlie I know where you're going wrong, you ain't eating enough greens!!"