The Best 32 Steady Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Steady jokes. There are some steady steadily jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these steady successor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Steady Jokes and Puns
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...
...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Why can't Iron Man stay in a steady relationship?
He has rust issues.
Why can't Vader find a steady relationship?
He keeps looking for love in Alderaan places
"I bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eye."
An old man is sitting quietly at a bar drinking whisky. After an hour of steady drinking, he leans over and says to the young man next to him, "I bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eye."
Obviously this is impossible, and seeing an opportunity to take an easy 20 off a drunk, the young man says, "Okay. You're on."
The old man, whips his artificial eye out and bites it.
The young man sighs at being so easily fooled and hands over $20.
The old man finishes another drink and then leans over again and say, "I bet you 100 bucks I can bite the other eye."
Now the young man knows the man can see him and doesn't have two artificial eyes. So again he says. "You're on."
The old man then whips off his dentures and bites the other eye.
Stages of man's sexuality [OC]
1. Puberty: masturbating in secrecy and shame.
2. Early adulthood: comfortable masturbation in your room and some casual sex with strangers.
3. First serious relationship: wild sex all the time.
4. First years of marriage: steady and regular sex.
5. Marriage after children: masturbating in secrecy and shame.
Jared Fogle is going to prison.
It looks as if his steady diet of footlongs will continue
Slow and Steady Wins the Race.
But Fast and Furious killed Paul Walker.
Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years...
Brits are really good at pulling out.
This years Olympics in Rio is going to be one of the most steady and relaxing Games in history
No one will be Russian.
Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis
I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy
If you miss your ex
Steady aim, control breathing, and fire again
You can explore steady temp reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean steady criteria dad jokes. There are also steady puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My aunt always said the slow and steady win the race
She died in a fire
What does a stoner and a Jew have in common?
A steady job with a loving family at home.
Why can't cookies dough hold a steady job?
Because it's always getting baked.
How was Bill Clinton able to maintain a steady surplus during his presidency?
He had a great Al Gore rhythm.
A man returns home from a night out at the bar and is quite inebriated
He is trying to get into his house but can't seem to get the keys into the keyhole.
Meanwhile, a stranger passes by and asks the man if he can help him unlock his door.
The man replies, "No, you just hold the house steady and I'll insert the keys."
They call me The Tripod
Her: So why do they call you 'Tripod'?
Me: Let me unzip this and show you...
*opens camera case and takes really steady photo*
Even though I've had a steady income and have been paying all my bills on time for a while, Visa still doesn't trust me enough to increase my limit.
They don't give me enough credit.
What's the difference between a magician and a steady relationship.
Nothing, they both disappear in front of you.
I woke up at the Asscrack of Dawn, and it smelled.
Turns out my neighbor Dawn sometimes farts in her sleep.
(I am a mature man with a steady income)
Slow and steady wins the race
An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didn't have that kind of money on hand.
Needless to say his wages were garnished
Did you hear about the director who was freaking out because the camera wouldn't say steady during shots?
He really needed to get a grip.
One time a lady walked up to me and asked me about my relationship with God
I politely responded "Well Jesus and I were going steady for a while but we broke up. One day I came home from work and he was spread out and being nailed by a bunch of Romans, so I had to break it of, our relationship was dead a few days later."
Alcoholism is a myth
I've been drinking steady every day since I was 16 , and I haven't become an alcoholic yet
Racism is a Race
Slow and steady wins the race.
Tell that to an asian pfft
I just got out of a relationship with a girl who had Parkinson's
The relationship wasn't very steady but the handjobs were great!
A Texas Biologist
A Texas biologist, who discovered that the life of a porpoise could be prolonged indefinitely if it were fed a steady diet of seagulls, has been arrested at the Louisiana border. He faces charges of transporting gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.
This was the year I got all I wanted: a girlfriend, a steady job, and many new friends. All I could want for the next year is...
to be able to post this in a different sub.
I just got myself a Motown fridge
It stays at a steady Three Degrees, Four Tops.
Pregnant
"Oh, Mom!" sobbed Mary, "I'm pregnant!" "What? How could you?" screamed the mother, "And just who is the father?" The daughter lifted up her tearful face and wailed, "How should I know? You're the one who would never let me go steady!"
My grandpa always told me slow and steady wins the race…
He died in the fire.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the steady constant jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working steady pace piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.