The Best 60 Status Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Status jokes. There are some status nickname jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these status condition puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Status Jokes and Puns

My brother just updated his status to "I love my girlfriend <3".

I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous.

Job Application

I was going through a stack of job applications on my desk when one caught my attention. While the applicant's employment history was stellar, and her education history was certainly above average, apparently she had a few personal problems. Under Marital Status she'd written, Not good and under Spouse's name, she'd written Plaintiff".

Why doesn't Shirley Manson change her Facebook relationship status?

She's only happy when "It's Complicated."

Status joke, Why doesn't Shirley Manson change her Facebook relationship status?

The Americans are using a new type of rocket that constantly updates its Facebook status until it reaches its target.

It's an attention-seeking missile.

The lawsuit seeking 'personhood' status for chimpanzees

Evidence in this lawsuit clearly demonstrates that the legal definition of "person" is badly flawed,

and needs to be corrected by excluding liberal lawyers.


Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status.

He now goes by Mill Gates.

Three old women go to a baseball game....

...To make things more interesting, they sneak in a bottle of bourbon with them. After a while, a lot of the game has gone by, and the ladies find they are almost out of bourbon. Given the information here, can you tell me the status of the game?



>^(It's the bottom of the Fifth, and the Bags are loaded.)

Status joke, Three old women go to a baseball game....

A girl posted a status in her facebook wall "I got my period today."

20 boys liked it.
10 boys commented, "Thank God."

My celebrity status application was denied

Because I marked "no" in the section saying "I support clobbering women"

Nathan Fillion just reached legendary status in my book - Album on Imgur

What do you call it when a guy status telling you a funny joke but instead of telling the punchline he just throws hummus in your face instead?

A naan sequitur

You can explore status quo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean status warranty dad jokes. There are also status puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Raksha Bandhan Whatsapp Status

The 3 most common lies on internet

1). I have read and agree to the terms of service
2). Status offline
3). yes i am 18 years old

What is Father Christmas's tax status?

What is Father Christmas's tax status?

Elf-employed.

My relationship status is like that other missing sock,

I'm all alone and eventually end up getting trashed

Mt. Everest has lost its record status ...

... now that a British astronaut is Earth's highest Peake.

Status joke, Mt. Everest has lost its record status ...

whats Hitlers relationship status...

He's Nazing anybody

What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

a force of habit

Why didn't anyone get upset about the Jewish star on the Disney movie Frozen?

Because any Jewish princess knows being cold isn't anti-semitic. Its status!


The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight.

I'm just going to update my Facebook status while waiting for the kettle to boil.

I think we all need something positive after the recent election

Which is why I'm sharing my HIV status with all of you.

Seeing as Rick Parfitt has died, does that mean...

...that the Status Quo has not been maintained?

What's The Difference Between A Year And My Relationship Status?

At least a year can change.

Facebook Fever...

Facebook Fever:
A man posted his status on Facebook: "Gonna sleep on the terrace tonight".
5,000 mosquitoes liked it.. :D

Why does the National Football League deserve Tax-Exempt Status even though it generated at least $9 billion in revenue last season?

Because it is just as real as the other religions.

I just divorced my wife of six years. It was very amicable.

She was the first one to "like" my Facebook status when I indicated I was single again.

A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill...

A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat.

I think if he had to build his own computer he'd wouldn't whine on Facebook.

Current relationship status:

The only date I'm looking forward to is my untimely death

Why was the American pilot denied Ace status after shooting down five A6M5's?

Because he had Zero kills.

Once A Guy Updated His Status :D

I am Gonna Sleep Shirtless Tonight"
.
After 15 Minutes..
.
.
.
.
.
21 Mosquitos Liked His Status.. :-D

Man achieves legendary status in composing music while being DEAF. But who is he?

ClickBeethoven

Pennsylvania and New Jersey changed their state mottos today in order to cut their highway budgets.

Now they both proudly display "Road Work Ahead. Expect Delays" on their welcome signs to better reflect the status of their roadways.

My current relationship status:

I'm a single pringle in a snack with no stack.

My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff.

So I poked her

Friend Status Update - Got MArried

Me : Please don't share your personal problems with the world.

Did you hear about the feud between the two LED power status indicators?

Oh it's ON.

Yesterday my brother uploaded a status on Facebook.

He wrote in his facebook status "I love my girlfriend <3"

I knew that he liked them young but this is getting out of hand.

There was one feminist engineer in the nuclear plant ...

Kept asking about the status of the reactress ...

My relationship status

Why are Asian countries so rich

Because they rice above their status.

"You've got to let people know where you're going!" said my driving instructor as we merged on to the expressway...

"OK!" I replied as I updated my Facebook status.

Love should be like Bluetooth

When you are close, the status should be.....connected
When away...searching for a new device

A colleague was let go today......

....after he updated his online status from 'Working Remotely' to 'Remotely Working'

I don't care about skin color, race, sexual preference or social status.

I just hate everyone.

Mark Zuckerberg posted a new status on his profile today.

Mark Zuckerberg has marked himself safe during the 2018 Congressional Hearings on Facebook Data.

Crew Morale

The captain of a ship noticed the crew seemed unhappy. So he asked the first mate, What is the status of the crew? The first mate yelled, ALL R-BORED!

Relationship status of Elon Musk

Forever Elon.

What's the opposite of Social Justice Warrior?

A Status Quosader

Relationship Status

Just reached for my dog's paw and he pull it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote

A woman is in line at the grocery store when a very drunk man behind her looks the items in her cart and slurs "you mus' be single...!"

She was set to ignore him when she notices her shopping. There's nothing in her cart that would indicate her relationship status...

Curiosity gets the better of her and she answers him
"I am actually, but, how did you know?"

The drunk straightens up slightly and says "cos you're fuckin' ugly...!"

One guy wrote on his FB status:

"Last night, even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber."

400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend:

"Where did you go in UBER bro, party was in your house"

You ever read a girl's status and wished someone would just treat her right

So she'd just stfu

Finally !! 6 weeks without any sugar. Running 5 miles each day. stopped eating dairy and flour. The change in my body has already been fantastic! I feel great! Eating a healthy diet that is completely gluten-free and sugar-free. And working out for up to 2 hours every day! Lost 10Kgs.

I don't know whose status this is, but I was really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste it.

Relationship Status:

Taken by Liam Neeson

The say your last name speaks to your ancestor's trade or status or of their nature. I put some stock in that so that's why...

I never let my son play with the Dickinson family next door.

Donald Trump on Twitter: "Merry Christm--"

[Status Updateโ„ข will be available after Government Shutdown. For more information, visit your Twitterยฎ account settings.]

I see the local baker was enjoying his mild celebrity status in the town paper after saving a drowning man..

He was acting really flan buoyant .

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If Obama declared bankruptcy and started living on the streets, what would be his Economic Status?

Baroque

i am StationEd at North korea to check the status of their leaDer.

everyone HerE is so hostiLe and Pleasant.

I just heard that atheists are trying to get tax exempt status.

They are a non-prophet organisation.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the status stance jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working status qualifications piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes