The Best 38 Statues Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Statues jokes. There are some statues marble jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these statues mortals puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Statues Jokes and Puns
A drunk guy enters a Catholic church
A drunk guy enters a Catholic church. He stumbles along, talks with the statues and finally enters the confessional where he sits down quietly on the chair. The priest patiently waits for him then coughs a bit but he gets no reaction. He waits a little while longer and knocks in the wall, finally drawing the drunk's attention:
-Stop the knocking, fool, there's no toilet paper in here either!
Statues need more appreciation
too often they are taken for granite
I've started a new business making statues of people who can tell the future...
...so far, I'm making a prophet.
I started a figurine company that specializes in miniature Muhammad statues
We make a small prophet.
I was cleaning one of my garden statues and accidentally cracked part of its face
I guess you could say I don't gnome eye own strength
There's 2 statues in a dark room, what did one statue say to the other statue?
Is statue?
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome.
Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
My grandmother has many religious statues, crosses, and cats in her house.
No doubt she's a Cat-holic.
If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments, you might be mentally ill.
But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.
I don't know why the right is so in favor of confederate statues.
I don't know why the right is so in favor of confederate statues. They're pretty adamant about losers not getting participation trophies.
Texas refuses to remove its statues.
Hurricane volunteers to help.
You can explore statues angel reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean statues two statues dad jokes. There are also statues puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Did you hear about the guy who tripped over his collection of classical composer statues?
They said he Baroque his Bach.
I found out there are no statues of Chuck Norris.
Granite isn't tough enough to hold his image.
There are many marbleous statues in Greece
...but sadly many people take them for granite.
Did you hear the government is banning all participation trophies?
They start taking down all the confederate statues next week.
Have you heard about the man who steals statues of famous people's heads?
He was busted!
Statues sure have a hard life
They are always erect.
I was walking in the Bronx when a black guy stopped me and said, Hey man, did the Yankees win?
I said, Yes, Of course. The South is still fighting over confederate statues though.
Why can't statues move?
Because they're too stoned
Confederate supporters say that we need to leave their statues up to teach history, and that is absolutely true
After all, it's not like they can read.
This just in: a cement mixer collided with a prison van on the highway.
The police had to let all the prisoners go, because they were statues of limitations.
So Trump asked Jeff Sessions to resign today...
I guess he's not against removing old confederate statues after all!
I'm not allowed in church anymore...
I jerked off to the statues, some of it got in the holy water...now all the babies have harpies.
If I go around spanking statues,
Does that mean I've hit rock bottom?
Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...
People will eventually get over it.
A Jew was on his deathbed and told his only son
-Isaac, my son, i am dying. I just want you to know that the 8 houses, 3 apartment buildings, 24 taxis, 17 hotels, 8 shops, 3 swimming pools, the statues, jewelry...
-Are you going to give them to me, dad?
-I'm selling them to you. Very cheap
I am a sex addict. I was caught having sex with the Easter Island statues.
I really hit rock bottom.
I was really confused about Buddha statues and why a lot of people revered them so much, So I asked a Hinduist about them. He was very knowledgeable, and after he finished explaining he asked,
"So now does it make sense to you at all?
And I said "Yeah, idol makes sense to me now."
Are Confederate statues racist?
Generally.
After visiting The Getty my wife said the Greek statues reminded her of me.
Really?
Yes. They all have little dicks too.
I'm glad they are taking down these Confederate statues
I don't believe in participation trophies.
I don't understand why people keep tearing down Confederate statues?
Shouldn't the losers get to keep their participation trophies?
With all the talk about and acts of tearing down statues there should be a rule where a statue of a person stands for so many years before being re-evaluated...
We can call it the Statue of Limitations.
To all the people who are upset at the fact that confederate statues are coming down, don't worry.
You may have lost the battle, but you have won the....never mind.
Horse Statues
If a statue depicting a person on a horse with all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in a battle.
If a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in a battle.
However, with a horse's all four legs in the air, the person died of falling from the horse.
What do racist statues and racists have in common in 2020?
Trouble staying erect
My spinster aunt thinks that statues of Jesus on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing.
...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.
My friend said we should tear down statues of Stephen Hawking
I didn't know there were any statues of Stephen Hawking still standing.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the statues fountains jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working statues artifacts piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.