Statue Jokes

141 statue jokes and hilarious statue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about statue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

These Statue Jokes will bring a chuckle to your day! Check out these funny jokes that are sure to have you laughing all day! Laugh your way through jokes about the Statue of Liberty, Diana Statue, Greek Statues, manhood, fountains, and Smiths. Come have a laugh today!

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jokes about statue

Best Short Statue Jokes

Short statue puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The statue humour may include short figurine jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a greek statue... Completely pale, no arms.
  2. I can't believe Penn State took the joe Paterno Statue down. They should have just turned it so it looked the other way.
  3. Why did France give the Statue of Liberty to the USA? Because the French had no use for a statue with only one hand in the air.
  4. Why did the French give the statue of liberty to America? They had no use for a statue with only one hand raised
  5. When I was younger I had a job pretending to be a statue I held that position for some time
  6. What did the statue say when he met his long lost statue brother? He said, "Hey, is-statue?!"
  7. My spinster aunt thinks that statues of Jesus on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing. ...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.
  8. After I stole the priceless statue and turned the corner, I collided into the female security guard's chest... ...It was a huge bust.
  9. If an angel statue is removed from a fountain... ...would that make it a sans seraph font?
  10. If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments, you might be mentally ill. But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.
Statue joke, If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about statue can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of statue puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Statue One Liners

Which statue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with statue? I can suggest the ones about sculpture and statutory.

  1. Why did snoop dogg go to the store before he sculpted his statue? Fo' chisel.
  2. Lord Nelson was 5ft 6 inches. His statue is 17ft 4 inches. That's Horatio of 3:1.
  3. Texas refuses to remove its statues. Hurricane volunteers to help.
  4. What does the Statue Of Liberty stand for She can't sit down.
  5. What did one gargoyle say to the other in the dark? Statue?
  6. What did one statue say to the other statue he hadn't seen in a while? "Statue bro?"
  7. My attempt to steal that head of a statue failed. Well, I guess it was a bust.
  8. What do you call a fountain whose angel statue has been stolen? A sans seraph font.
  9. I went to the fountain and removed all of its angel statues. It's now a sans seraph font.
  10. What did Hermes do when he broke the statue? He Apollo-gized
  11. Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem? She was taken for granite
  12. Are Confederate statues racist? Generally.
  13. I work as a living statue. It's a permanent position.
  14. Have you heard about the man who steals statues of famous people's heads? He was busted!
  15. My body is like a Greek statue. Even if the staff at the museum don't think so.

Statue Of Liberty Jokes

Here is a list of funny statue of liberty jokes and even better statue of liberty puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did France give the Statue of Liberty to the United States? They had no use for one with one one hand up.
  • The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
  • Why do so many Incels take a tour to the Statue of Liberty? So they can finally get into a woman.
  • Statue of Liberty How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?
    It doesn't have both arms raised.
    And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States
  • You know this country is in bad shape When the Statue of Liberty has to work part time as a sign spinner.
  • The statue of unity and the statue of liberty walk into a bar "So buddy", asks the statue of unity "How's the liberty in your country"?
    "Same as unity in yours"
  • Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? You would be to if you gave birth to a nation
  • Eiffel designed the structural support for the Statue of Liberty If you were to look up her dress, you'd see an Eiffel.
    (I made this joke up, and it's factual information.)
  • Do you know why the USA have the Statue of Liberty? Because that's where it was buried.
  • Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

Statue Liberty Jokes

Here is a list of funny statue liberty jokes and even better statue liberty puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Theres a new sign on the statue of liberty Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
  • The French are so disappointed... They are planning to ask for the return of the Liberty Statue.
  • Do you know why the Statue of Liberty's nose is 11 inches long? Because one more and it would be a foot!
  • The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
  • Why the statue of liberty is a woman? Because they need a brainless for the oriel
  • So the Statue of Liberty went dark today once again proving that once you go black you immediately go back after a couple hours of maintenance.
  • The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
  • A t**... tells the s**... bomber they shouldn't attack the Statue of Liberty, because she's "too easy" ... The bomber shrugs and replies "Eh, I'd still bang"
  • On our first date, we took turns h**... the base of the Statue of Liberty ...we really got off on the right foot.

Erected Statue Jokes

Here is a list of funny erected statue jokes and even better erected statue puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do racist statues and racists have in common in 2020? Trouble staying e**...
  • Statues sure have a hard life They are always e**....
  • To solve world hunger we need to eat the rich and e**... a giant statue of Bernie Sanders. Why do we need the statue? Well, I'm glad that the first step didn't raise any questions.
  • p**... are an important part of human culture and anatomy and must be honoured I suggest we e**... a statue
  • Apparently they're going to e**... a statue in memory of Dame Vera Lynn ... Don't know where, don't know when

Greek Statue Jokes

Here is a list of funny greek statue jokes and even better greek statue puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An ancient greek statue goes to Hawaii. He said, "This looks strangely familiar."
  • After visiting The Getty my wife said the Greek statues reminded her of me. Really?
    Yes. They all have little d**... too.
Statue joke, After visiting The Getty my wife said the Greek statues reminded her of me.

Delightful Fun Statue Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about statue you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean standing stone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make statue prank.

fiance: just pretend to be religious for 10 minutes and he'll agree to marry us

me: okay
\[at church\]
priest: it's nice to meet you both
me: \[seeing crucifixion statue on wall\]
jesus what happened to this guy?"

Over the past year, my s**... fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse.

But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom.

The joke my grandma told me when i came out

Two gay guys are standing on top of the statue of liberty looking out over the harbor. The first points out a boat and asks "what kind of boat is that?" "Oh that's a barge" replied the other this continued for a while when the first pointed out another and the other replied "that's a ferry ship." the first paused and thought for a moment before replying "i knew we were organized but i didn't realize we had a navy "

I knew that s**... fetishes could get more and more perverse over time, but... wasn't till I spanked a statue that I knew I'd hit rock bottom.

A Gem Joke that Rocks

Diamond: Hey, Ruby, did you hear that I'm getting embedded into a statue next Tuesday?
Ruby: But we were going fishing on Tuesday! You sure you can't change the date?
Diamond: Sorry Ruby, it's set in stone.

What do they say about building an e**... statue?

"If you build it they will come."

Penn State has taken down the statue of Joe Paterno.

However, they have opted to leave his name on the library, as a reminder to stay quiet.

What did the statue say to the other statue?

Hey, S-tat-ue?

My friend wants to carve a Venus statue from a tree.

That seems like it would take a while, woodentit?

A couple of my friends tried to steal a statue last night...

But it turned out to be a bust.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've broken!!

Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!

My s**... desires have been getting out of control...

But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I knew I'd hit rock bottom.

"I don't understand what this statue of a man talking is supposed to mean"

"It's confusing, but I think it's a figure of speech."

Being a statue wouldn't be so bad

You can be rockhard all the time.

So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...

So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf h**...... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"

Two friends were walking by the ballet museum...

When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?"
To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

A joke from my 5 year old brother...

Q: What has four legs but doesn't move?
A: A statue of a dog!

My Garden Statue Called In Sick Today

He has Gnome-onia.

What do you call a statue holding some Mouthwash?

A gargoyle!

Archaeologists discover the remains of a s**...-worker under famous statue in Giza

Reports claim he died of Asphinxiation

There's 2 statues in a dark room, what did one statue say to the other statue?

Is statue?

Why did the Pharaoh Build a Statue of Himself?

Because he Sphinx he's the best.

Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?

If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.

A roman statue enters a bar

He says "Where's the Fiji Water?"

One time, the parents went out to dinner.

The sitter called and asked if she could cover the creepy clown statue in the kid's room.
The dad said: "Get out of the house. Call the police. We don't have a clown statue!"
By the time police arrived the scene, they found they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimer's.

I got a statue of Dwayne Johnson for outside my house

Whenever anyone asks about it, I get to tell them it's in The Rock Garden

Back in 1950's Egypt...

Nasser wanted to know the age of a ancient statue that had been recently excavated. He went up to his KGB advisers and asked if their technicians could help. Just a few hours later, one of the KGB men told Nasser "The statue is just about 5,000 years old." Nasser was very impressed and asked "How did you Russians figure that out? My best archaeologists were dumbfounded by that one!" The Russian told Nasser "He confessed."

A young boy was kissed by a girl he really liked.

But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"
"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."

I'm no confederate statue...

But for the ladies, I always go down

What Did the Statue Say to the Other Statue?


The President of Brazil, France and United States share a flight around the world

The United state president puts his hands out of the windows and says:
"We are in the US! I just touched the Statue of Liberty"
Some time passes, the French president puts his hands out and says out loud:
"Now we are in France. I just touched the Eiffel tower".
After a while the Brazilian president also puts his hands out of the Airplane and says:
"Yes, we finally are in Brazil. I just had my watch stolen"

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a h**... statue.

The Jew spits on the statue.
arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.
The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

I wanted to build a statue museum, but one statue didn't arrive.

It was a bust.

Two 12-year olds are sitting in a park.

Laying next too each other, relaxing and cousy.
Then all of the sudden in the moment, the boy gets a kiss from the young girl.
His face turns red while backing off.
"What's wrong? Wasn't it good?" Asked the girl.
"No no no! It's just that my mom told me if I ever kiss a girl, she would turn me in a statue. And I feel it's already starting!!"

h**... was a very evil guy, we all hate him.

So we should make a statue of the man who killed him.

I went to a museum of modern art the other day and saw a cone statue.

I really enjoyed it and would have liked to prolong my visit, but it was truncated.

What did the cat say to the statue?

Cat: "Statue bro?"
Statue: "Nah, it's meow"

Not many people know that Nelson was 5' 6" in real life. His statue in Trafalgar Square is 17'4"

That's a Horatio of around 3:1

"I broke a statue"

Museum Administrator : "Sir, that's a 700 year old statue that you just broke"
Visitor : "oh..really ?....thank God...I thought its brand new"

Why can't statues move?

Because they're too s**...

A blind man walks into a sculpture store.

He'd been planning a heist targetting the jewellery store beside it. Fumbling around to gain his bearings, he eventually comes into contact with a statue of a woman, to which he finally exclaims, "Well, this is a bust!"

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft begger!"

A woman and her lover were in bed, when the woman heard her husband getting back.

The woman said Quick! Rub baby powder on you and pretend to be a statue. The lover did that.
The husband walked into the room.
Honey, what's this statue doing here? He asked.
I saw that the Smiths got one, so I decided to get one as well. She replied.
The husband got into bed, and the woman fell asleep. A few hours later, after checking his wife was asleep, he quietly got up, walked into kitchen, made a sandwich and got a glass of milk, came back, and went to the statue.
Here, have something to eat and drink. I stood like an idiot for 3 days at the Smiths, and no one offered me anything to eat!

An American, a Frenchman and a Romanian were flying together

– Now we're in America, said the American proudly. Look, the Statue of Liberty!
After several hours, the Frenchman says:
– Now we're in France! Look, the Eiffel Tower!
After some more couple of hours, the romanian says:
– We are in Romania.
– How did you realize that? It's dark outside.
– My wrist watch has disappeared

The difference between a cookie and a c**....

Cookies don't care if you pull down a civil war statue.

"Is statue?"

said the gargoyle who came across with another gargoyle

I wanted to move a statue of a god

But it remained idle.

Did you hear about the guy caught stealing a statue?

The robbery was a bust.

What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

I tore down a statue today during a protest

turns out it was one of those guys spraypainted silver, he wasn't pleased

With all the talk about and acts of tearing down statues there should be a rule where a statue of a person stands for so many years before being re-evaluated...

We can call it the Statue of Limitations.

Protesters pulled down a statue of Francis Scott Key last weekend

Francis Got Keystered.

Statue joke, Protesters pulled down a statue of Francis Scott Key last weekend

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these statue jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.