Statue Jokes
129 statue jokes and hilarious statue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about statue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These Statue Jokes will bring a chuckle to your day! Check out these funny jokes that are sure to have you laughing all day! Laugh your way through jokes about the Statue of Liberty, Diana Statue, Greek Statues, manhood, fountains, and Smiths. Come have a laugh today!
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Funniest Statue Short Jokes
Short statue jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The statue humour may include short figurine jokes also.
- My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a greek statue... Completely pale, no arms.
- I can't believe Penn State took the joe Paterno Statue down. They should have just turned it so it looked the other way.
- Why did France give the Statue of Liberty to the USA? Because the French had no use for a statue with only one hand in the air.
- When I was younger I had a job pretending to be a statue I held that position for some time
- What did the statue say when he met his long lost statue brother? He said, "Hey, is-statue?!"
- My spinster aunt thinks that statues of Jesus on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing. ...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.
- After I stole the priceless statue and turned the corner, I collided into the female security guard's chest... ...It was a huge bust.
- If an angel statue is removed from a fountain... ...would that make it a sans seraph font?
- If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments, you might be mentally ill. But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.
- To all the people who are upset at the fact that confederate statues are coming down, don't worry. You may have lost the battle, but you have won the....never mind.
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Statue One Liners
Which statue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with statue? I can suggest the ones about sculpture and statutory.
- Why did snoop dogg go to the store before he sculpted his statue? Fo' chisel.
- Lord Nelson was 5ft 6 inches. His statue is 17ft 4 inches. That's Horatio of 3:1.
- Texas refuses to remove its statues. Hurricane volunteers to help.
- What does the Statue Of Liberty stand for She can't sit down.
- What did one gargoyle say to the other in the dark? Statue?
- My attempt to steal that head of a statue failed. Well, I guess it was a bust.
- I went to the fountain and removed all of its angel statues. It's now a sans seraph font.
- What did Hermes do when he broke the statue? He Apollo-gized
- Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem? She was taken for granite
- Are Confederate statues racist? Generally.
- I work as a living statue. It's a permanent position.
- Have you heard about the man who steals statues of famous people's heads? He was busted!
- My body is like a Greek statue. Even if the staff at the museum don't think so.
- What Did the Statue Say to the Other Statue? Is-tat-u?
- What do you call a statue holding some Mouthwash? A gargoyle!
Statue Of Liberty Jokes
Here is a list of funny statue of liberty jokes and even better statue of liberty puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
- Statue of Liberty How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?
It doesn't have both arms raised.
And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States - You know this country is in bad shape When the Statue of Liberty has to work part time as a sign spinner.
- The statue of unity and the statue of liberty walk into a bar "So buddy", asks the statue of unity "How's the liberty in your country"?
"Same as unity in yours" - Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? You would be to if you gave birth to a nation
- Eiffel designed the structural support for the Statue of Liberty If you were to look up her dress, you'd see an Eiffel.
(I made this joke up, and it's factual information.) - Do you know why the USA have the Statue of Liberty? Because that's where it was buried.
- Theres a new sign on the statue of liberty Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
- The French are so disappointed... They are planning to ask for the return of the Liberty Statue.
- Do you know why the Statue of Liberty's nose is 11 inches long? Because one more and it would be a foot!
Statue Liberty Jokes
Here is a list of funny statue liberty jokes and even better statue liberty puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
- So the Statue of Liberty went dark today once again proving that once you go black you immediately go back after a couple hours of maintenance.
- The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Greek Statue Jokes
Here is a list of funny greek statue jokes and even better greek statue puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An ancient greek statue goes to Hawaii. He said, "This looks strangely familiar."
Delightful Fun Statue Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about statue you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean standing stone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make statue pranks.
fiance: just pretend to be religious for 10 minutes and he'll agree to marry us
me: okay
\[at church\]
priest: it's nice to meet you both
me: \[seeing crucifixion statue on wall\]
jesus what happened to this guy?"
Statue Of Jesus
Did you hear about the man who sold a statue of Jesus?
He made a large prophet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a priest is taking a bath late at night
So a priest is taking a bath late at night when he remembered that he forgot his soap in his room, he figured it's late and no one will be up so he rushed to his room without a towel around his waist, he got the soap but on his way back he heard two nuns walking by so he stands by the wall like a statue. The two nuns walk up to him and one of them says to the other "Look, it's that soap dispenser they said they were gonna bring" and she pulls his d**..., he quickly drops his soap. The second nun says "Oh, cool! I want to that too" and she pulls his thing and nothing happens so she tries a few more times then she turns to the first nun and says "Oh! I got liquid soap!".
The joke my grandma told me when i came out
Two gay guys are standing on top of the statue of liberty looking out over the harbor. The first points out a boat and asks "what kind of boat is that?" "Oh that's a barge" replied the other this continued for a while when the first pointed out another and the other replied "that's a ferry ship." the first paused and thought for a moment before replying "i knew we were organized but i didn't realize we had a navy "
Too bad Ray Rice didn't kill his wife,
The Ravens would've just put a statue of him in front of the stadium.
Statues need more appreciation
too often they are taken for granite
A Gem Joke that Rocks
Diamond: Hey, Ruby, did you hear that I'm getting embedded into a statue next Tuesday?
Ruby: But we were going fishing on Tuesday! You sure you can't change the date?
Diamond: Sorry Ruby, it's set in stone.
What do you call a 10-foot iron statue of Matthew Broderick?
ferrous bueller
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do they say about building an e**... statue?
"If you build it they will come."
Penn State has taken down the statue of Joe Paterno.
However, they have opted to leave his name on the library, as a reminder to stay quiet.
My friend wants to carve a Venus statue from a tree.
That seems like it would take a while, woodentit?
A couple of my friends tried to steal a statue last night...
But it turned out to be a bust.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue you've broken!!
Sardar: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
"I don't understand what this statue of a man talking is supposed to mean"
"It's confusing, but I think it's a figure of speech."
I knew my fantasies were getting worse
But when I spanked a statue I knew I'd hit rock bottom.
What did the Kiwi say to the Statue?
Statue bro?
Being a statue wouldn't be so bad
You can be rockhard all the time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...
So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf h**...... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"
Two friends were walking by the ballet museum...
When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?"
To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."
A joke from my 5 year old brother...
Q: What has four legs but doesn't move?
A: A statue of a dog!
My Garden Statue Called In Sick Today
He has Gnome-onia.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Statue of ex prime-minister David Cameron inappropriately touched by teen.
The case is proceeding under the grounds of Statue-tory r**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archaeologists discover the remains of a s**...-worker under famous statue in Giza
Reports claim he died of Asphinxiation
There's 2 statues in a dark room, what did one statue say to the other statue?
Is statue?
Why did the Pharaoh Build a Statue of Himself?
Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?
If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.
A roman statue enters a bar
He says "Where's the Fiji Water?"
One time, the parents went out to dinner.
The sitter called and asked if she could cover the creepy clown statue in the kid's room.
The dad said: "Get out of the house. Call the police. We don't have a clown statue!"
By the time police arrived the scene, they found they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimer's.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A t**... tells the s**... bomber they shouldn't attack the Statue of Liberty, because she's "too easy" ...
The bomber shrugs and replies "Eh, I'd still bang"
I got a statue of Dwayne Johnson for outside my house
Whenever anyone asks about it, I get to tell them it's in The Rock Garden
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which basketball player would make the best statue?
Le**bronze** James.
A young boy was kissed by a girl he really liked.
But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"
"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."
I'm no confederate statue...
But for the ladies, I always go down
The President of Brazil, France and United States share a flight around the world
The United state president puts his hands out of the windows and says:
"We are in the US! I just touched the Statue of Liberty"
Some time passes, the French president puts his hands out and says out loud:
"Now we are in France. I just touched the Eiffel tower".
After a while the Brazilian president also puts his hands out of the Airplane and says:
"Yes, we finally are in Brazil. I just had my watch stolen"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a h**... statue.
The Jew spits on the statue.
arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.
The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Penn State move the Joe Paterno statue into the campus library?
To keep the children silent.
What do Australians call a statue of an Englishman?
Pommegranit
I wanted to build a statue museum, but one statue didn't arrive.
It was a bust.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two 12-year olds are sitting in a park.
Laying next too each other, relaxing and cousy.
Then all of the sudden in the moment, the boy gets a kiss from the young girl.
His face turns red while backing off.
"What's wrong? Wasn't it good?" Asked the girl.
"No no no! It's just that my mom told me if I ever kiss a girl, she would turn me in a statue. And I feel it's already starting!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... was a very evil guy, we all hate him.
So we should make a statue of the man who killed him.
The good thing about working as a living statue, is that you finally got a permanent position.
I went to a museum of modern art the other day and saw a cone statue.
I really enjoyed it and would have liked to prolong my visit, but it was truncated.
What did the cat say to the statue?
Cat: "Statue bro?"
Statue: "Nah, it's meow"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Statues sure have a hard life
They are always e**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... are an important part of human culture and anatomy and must be honoured
I suggest we e**... a statue
A blind man walks into a sculpture store.
He'd been planning a heist targetting the jewellery store beside it. Fumbling around to gain his bearings, he eventually comes into contact with a statue of a woman, to which he finally exclaims, "Well, this is a bust!"
A woman and her lover were in bed, when the woman heard her husband getting back.
The woman said Quick! Rub baby powder on you and pretend to be a statue. The lover did that.
The husband walked into the room.
Honey, what's this statue doing here? He asked.
I saw that the Smiths got one, so I decided to get one as well. She replied.
The husband got into bed, and the woman fell asleep. A few hours later, after checking his wife was asleep, he quietly got up, walked into kitchen, made a sandwich and got a glass of milk, came back, and went to the statue.
Here, have something to eat and drink. I stood like an idiot for 3 days at the Smiths, and no one offered me anything to eat!
An American, a Frenchman and a Romanian were flying together
– Now we're in America, said the American proudly. Look, the Statue of Liberty!
After several hours, the Frenchman says:
– Now we're in France! Look, the Eiffel Tower!
After some more couple of hours, the romanian says:
– We are in Romania.
– How did you realize that? It's dark outside.
– My wrist watch has disappeared
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
SErious Question?
Is it statuary r**... if someboedy rapes a statue???
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The difference between a cookie and a c**....
Cookies don't care if you pull down a civil war statue.
what is the difference between Narendra Modi and Donald Trump?
Modi actually built the statue!
(Technically not a joke)
"Is statue?"
said the gargoyle who came across with another gargoyle
Michelangelo's Statue of David is one of the most important artworks ever created with marble
But I've always taken it for granite.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got so drunk I tried to s**... a statue last night.
It really hurts when you hit rock bottom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To solve world hunger we need to eat the rich and e**... a giant statue of Bernie Sanders. Why do we need the statue?
Well, I'm glad that the first step didn't raise any questions.
I wanted to move a statue of a god
But it remained idle.
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?
A metro-gnome
I tore down a statue today during a protest
turns out it was one of those guys spraypainted silver, he wasn't pleased
