Following is our collection of funny Statistics jokes. There are some statistics suggestive jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these statistics mathematics puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Today's going to be great!
After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."
Why are birthdays good for you?





Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest.
Remind them that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
That's scary.
It means 75% are running around untreated.
... I told her "that's Mean".
They're just staggering.
because of the tallyban
The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
You can explore statistics incomes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean statistics calculust dad jokes. There are also statistics puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.
I feel that December will be amazing
after his first session with the tutor, his parents asked him how it went.
johnny said "well, today i learned that correlation is not equal to causation"
johnny's mother was pleased: "so hiring this tutor is really helping you understand statistics!?"
johnny responded "well, not necessarily."
Because, you know, statistics.
When you look at crime statistics.
Statistics also show that not eating bacon dramatically increases your chances of blowing yourself up.
Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.
Statistics show that people who have more birthdays, live the longest!
They do, however, say "zed".
What it shows is interesting, but what it doesn't show is the most important part.
But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.
... that 7 out of 10.
At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he'd be around for his 104th.
"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."
... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.
Which got me thinking,
Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?
The most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style...
The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
That means there are 70% running around out there unmedicated...
Phone statistics in third world countries:
Boy to Boy 00:00:59
Boy to Mom 00:00:50
Boy to Dad 00:00:30
Boy to Girl 01:23:59
Girl to Girl 05:29:59
Girl to Boy Missed call
Husband to Wife 00:00:03
Wife to Husband 14 Missed Calls
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They
exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
"This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest
average penises and Polish men have the biggest average
diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
But graphing is where I draw the line!
Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.
The results were very impacting
Live for at least 100 years. Statistics show that very few people die over the age of 100.
I'm glad to be in the 10% that isn't.
...they hide more than what they reveal.
1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:
 According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%
From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??
What're the chances!
The other 35% haven't been to prison yet.
Well, 46.8%.
I wonder how is he still alive.
Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds
I'm not sure if I should be more worried about that 4050% of marriages end in divorce or that 5060% of all marriages last..
Jk honey, I love you. ^^^^^help
and apparently it's not a standard deviation.
Ten long miserable years
The rest are sucked into it
65% of my emails aren't going out
The Ns justify the means.
I think it's because of pier pressure.
I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
Calculus jokes are derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too formulaic but arithmetic jokes are just basic.
The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.
Did you know 80% of statistics are false?
I shrugged and said, "Hell, anybody can win the lottery."
My statistics teacher smirked, folded his arms and asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?"
I said, "Yep. 100%. A person always wins."
They show some stuff that you are interested in but not the actual thing
But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.
I really didn't mean it.
What are the odds?
For example, 5 out of 6 people think Russian roulette is perfectly safe.
But then I came to my census
mathematician: by all means
With that being said, I'm about to have a wild couple of days.
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
But graphing is where I draw the line!
Is that normal?
Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.
But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the statistics causation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working statistics correlation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.