The Best 49 Statistically Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Statistically jokes. There are some statistically probability jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these statistically americans puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Statistically Jokes and Puns

I'd like to tell you that I'm a lover, not a fighter...

Unfortunately, I've been punched in the face more often than I've gotten laid. Thus, statistically....

Followup: So let me tell you about the only time I've ever been punched in the face...

If 1 / 9 men are homosexual, does that mean that statistically, there is at least 1 gay man in my class?

If so then I hope it's Michael, he's cute.

Teenage boys who use heavily scented sprays are statistically far more ignorant about sex.

This proves if you have to Axe, you'll never know.

Statistically joke, Teenage boys who use heavily scented sprays are statistically far more ignorant about sex.

They say statistically, 1 out of every 3 of your neighbors are likely to be a pedophile.

Luckily for me, I live next to two gorgeous 12 year olds.


"If you eat much more of that you're going to explode!" said my wife to our young son, as he shovelled in another mouthful of bacon.

Of course, statistically, he's far more likely to explode if he never eats any bacon at all.

Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this

They say 1 in 10 people are gay.

I've had sex with 10 people.

That *really* weirds me out, because statistically speaking, one of those dudes was probably gay.

Statistically joke, They say 1 in 10 people are gay.

Why are lesbians statistically more poor than the average person?

Because they eat out every night.

Statistically, 1 in 5 of The Jackson's are Randy.


9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Statistically speaking

5 out of 6 people are pro gang rape.

You can explore statistically driverless reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean statistically statistic dad jokes. There are also statistically puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Statistically speaking, every male has had a crush on a teacher...

For me, it's my wife's yoga instructor.

bats are statistically the gayest animals

which is why batman dresses robin like that

I experimented with drugs...

...and I had a statistically significantly significant number of trials when I did.

What is statistically three times worse than a war?

Three wars

Statistically speaking...

6/7 dwarfs aren't happy.

Statistically joke, Statistically speaking...

According to a New York Times article last week, statistically speaking, masseuses have a 27% higher chance to be anti-feminist than the average person.

It's because they are massage-inists.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane?

Muhammad, statistically

So I heard 1 in 10 people are gay.....

Which really weirds me out, since statistically at least one of the 10 dudes I had sex with was gay!

I don't understand why society is so against gang rape.

I mean statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy it.

Indian men are statistically the least likely to get laid

No wonder even their parents call them beta.


9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

What do you call a statistically significant amount of urine enough to give you the urge to void?

the p-value

Statistically speaking, there should be at least one gay student per 30 person classroom.

Which is strange, because I can't recall any classmates who might have been gay...

Statistically speaking...

...9/10 people _love_ gang rape

I saw a study online that said 1 out of 10 people are gay, which freaked me out because I've had sex with 10 people

Statistically, that means one of those other dudes was probably gay

I'm weak at maths but that doesn't bother me

Because my friend told me it's statistically proven 4 out of 3 people struggle with maths.

Statistically speaking, the average person has about

Did you know that, statistically, only one in seven dwarfs...

Is happy?

Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom.

I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...


6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.

Statistically, older people are the most common carriers of AIDS...

Hearing Aids, Walking Aids, Seeing Aids...

Statistically, I think I'm gay

I've enjoyed 100% of the penises that I've played with

The divorce rate has now reached 50%.

That means statistically speaking, either you or your spouse are going to end up divorced.

It doesn't make sense that you're statistically more likely to die when you're old

The older you are, the more experience you have not dying

Dumpster divers children are statistically most likely to be adopted

because one mans trash, is another one's treasure

Statistically, I have sex 86 times per year.

This is going to be an exciting week.

Research found that statistically,

8/10 people enjoy gang rape.

Statistically speaking, ten percent of women cry in shop fitting rooms.

Guess they weren't expecting to see me there.

About 1 in 300 Americans are infected.

So look to your right, look to your left, if you see about 300 people around you then statistically you are all infected.

One should always have a servant's heart.

Because servants are statistically far less likely to suffer from cardiac arrest.

In the movie Top Gun, there are hot shot pilots pushing everything to the limit in sophisticated fighter jets.

Statistically they were GOING to lose a pilot, but even Death didn't know which one to take so he just walked around the room like "Duck, duck..."

Statistically humans eat more bananas than monkeys

Yeah, I don't see a lot of people eating monkeys around here

Statistically, 1 out of 10 friends is gay.

I hope its Steve, he's really cute

Statistically speaking, 6 out 10 statistics are wrong.

Including this one.

I was shocked to read this. Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves

aren't Happy

Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.

This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.

I'm not always mean, sometimes I'm median. Really depends on my mode.

Statistically my range of jokes are never appreciated.

Statistician joke...

Why did a statistician take a zebra with him when he boarded a train?

Because statistically, it's a lot less likely to be a train accident with a Zebra inside it...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the statistically stats jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working statistically flashbang piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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