Statistical Jokes

Funniest Statistical Short Jokes

Short statistical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The statistical humour may include short statistician jokes also.

1. Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
2. Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
   Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
3. Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships Which got me thinking,
   Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?
4. I heard a statistic that there are more men named David in charge of companies than there are women. Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?
5. Never get married. It'll only end in divorce. The statistics don't lie. 100% of divorces started with marriage. Can't say I didn't warn you.
6. A teacher is explaining the concept of statistics with an example: "Statistically, every time I breathe out, someone dies." Student: "Have you tried antiseptic mouthwash, sir?"
7. Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness, Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.
8. Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating..... I just need to figure out if it's my wife or girlfriend
9. This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
   That's scary!
   It means 75% are running around untreated!
10. Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman... ... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.

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Statistical One Liners

Which statistical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with statistical? I can suggest the ones about statutory and stats.

1. I was shocked to read this. Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy
2. Statistics show that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy
3. My statistics professor told me I was average... ... I told her "that's Mean".
4. Why is studying statistics hard to do in Afghanistan? because of the tally-ban
5. When are minorities not minorities? When you look at crime statistics.
6. I don't understand statistics like mean, mode and median Is that normal?
7. can somebody tell me how statistics are done mathematician: by all means
8. Statistically, 6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.
9. I got a paper cut from my Statistics homework. What are the odds?
10. Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic. Well, 46.8%.
11. Statistically speaking... 6/7 dwarfs aren't happy.
12. In college, I failed statistics 5 times in a row. What are the odds?
13. Every 40 seconds... A statistic is misused.
14. I Got Worried After Reading the Statistic on Marriage 50% of them last forever!
15. What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Muhammad, statistically

Statistical Significance Jokes

Here is a list of funny statistical significance jokes and even better statistical significance puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.
  Hmm....
• I experimented with drugs... ...and I had a statistically significantly significant number of trials when I did.
• What do you call a statistically significant amount of u**... enough to give you the urge to void? the p-value

Silly & Ridiculous Statistical Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about statistical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean theoretical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make statistical pranks.