The Best 67 Statistic Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Statistic jokes. There are some statistic detect jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these statistic stat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Statistic Jokes and Puns
Statistics show that the average person has sex 89 times a year
Today's going to be great!
Three statisticians are hunting when they see a rabbit.
The first one shoots and misses him on the left.
The second shoots and misses him on the right.
The third one shouts, "We've hit it!"
When a statistician passes the airport security check...
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."
A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.
As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"
Two statisticians walk into a bar...
What are the chances of that?
Frightening Statistic
This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
That's scary.
It means 75% are running around untreated.
My statistics professor told me I was average...
... I told her "that's Mean".
3 statisticians go hunting
They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says "Alright, we got it!"
Statistics humour
The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."
Three statisticians are bow hunting in the woods and see a deer...
The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.
The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.
The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"
I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others
that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.
Hmm....
You can explore statistic correlation reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean statistic psychologically dad jokes. There are also statistic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
This is a frightening statistic
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
That's scary!
It means 75% are running around untreated!
Statistics are like bikinis.
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,
Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.
Statistics say that the typical man has sex 92 times a year...
I feel that December will be amazing
They say statistically, 1 out of every 3 of your neighbors are likely to be a pedophile.
Luckily for me, I live next to two gorgeous 12 year olds.
Math puns are boring
Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.
I Got Worried After Reading the Statistic on Marriage
50% of them last forever!
I heard a statistic that there are more men named David in charge of companies than there are women.
Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?
Two statisticians are out hunting...
Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"
Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child molester...
Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.
Statistics show that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy
Statistically...
9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.
Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?
Because it's a co-median ^_^
Three statisticians go out hunting together...
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out "We got him!"
Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman:
What it shows is interesting, but what it doesn't show is the most important part.
Three statisticians go hunting
They spot a bird, and take turns trying to shoot it.
The first statistician shoots 10 feet above the bird
The second statistician shoots 10 feet below the bird
The third statistician shouts "We got it!"
Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman...
... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.
When a statistician goes through airport security, they find a bomb in his bag.
He explains, "The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer."
Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships
Which got me thinking,
Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?
A statistician, a mathematician, and a biologist are standing outside a house.
They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.
The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."
The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"
Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"
Statistically speaking...
6/7 dwarfs aren't happy.
A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar
Guy: You're the most average girl out here.
Girl: Hey, you're mean!
Guy: No, you are.
Statistics and mini skirts..
...they hide more than what they reveal.
If you're ever losing an argument, randomly quote a statistic
People will believe you 80% of the time.
Three statisticians go on a hunting trip...
They spot a deer, immediately the first statistician takes a shot and it misses two meters to the left. The second statistician takes a shot and misses two meters to the right. "We got it!" yells the third Statistician
Three statisticians go out hunting...
and come across a large deer.
The first statistician fires, but misses by a meter to the left.
The second statistician fires, but also misses, this time by a meter to the right.
The third statistician doesn't fire, but starts shouting in triumph "We got it! We got it!"
Statistics show 65% of Baltimore men have had sex in the shower.
The other 35% haven't been to prison yet.
Every 40 seconds...
A statistic is misused.
Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic.
Well, 46.8%.
According to statistics, a man is ran over every 5 minutes in a city.
I wonder how is he still alive.
According to statistics one in three people live next to a paedophile
Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds
Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom.
I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...
Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters
Ten long miserable years
Statistically,
6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.
Statistically, older people are the most common carriers of AIDS...
Hearing Aids, Walking Aids, Seeing Aids...
Statistics say that 85% of gay men are simply born homosexuals
The rest are sucked into it
You know I read a wild statistic the other day that said like a woman is 70 percent more likely to laugh if she finds the dude attractive
At least I know I'm funny
In statistics, a larger sample size results in more reliable averages.
The Ns justify the means.
According to statistics, the highest suicide rate is found near piers.
I think it's because of pier pressure.
Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.
I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
According to statistics, 80% of all fatal plane crashes happen in the first 3 or last 8 minutes of the flight.
But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.
A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar
**Guy**: You're the most average girl out here.
**Girl**: Hey, you're mean!
**Guy**: No, you are.
Statistically, 1 out of 10 friends is gay.
I hope its Steve, he's really cute
Statistics can be misleading.
For example, 5 out of 6 people think Russian roulette is perfectly safe.
can somebody tell me how statistics are done
mathematician: by all means
Statistics are like bikinis....
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Statisticians give low paid workers an expected life of 68.7 years
That's mean
A Statistician is playing darts
The first dart veers wildly to the left. The second dart veers wildly to the right. The statistician exclaims, "bullseye!"
Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.....
I just need to figure out if it's my wife or girlfriend
Statistically speaking, 6 out 10 statistics are wrong.
Including this one.
Statistics say that 2 out of 10 people don't understand how percentages work.
Unlike us, the other 90%.
A statistician gets on a plane.
A Statistician gets on a plane. Guy next to him says "I'm scared of flying." The statistician says "I used to be. I used to be worried about terrorists." The guy asks "How'd you stop being scared?" The statistician says "I bought a bomb on the plane." Panicked, the guy yells "What!?"
Statistician goes "Calm down, you see, I'm not gonna blow myself up, and what are the odds there are two bombs on one plane?"
64% of the people are bad at math, according to a recent statistic
Lucky me, I belong to the other 46%
Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.
This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.
Statistician joke...
Why did a statistician take a zebra with him when he boarded a train?
Because statistically, it's a lot less likely to be a train accident with a Zebra inside it...
Incredible Tennis statistic...
Novak is the first person to lose a Grand Slam after only missing two shots.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the statistic statistically jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working statistic notable piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.