Following is our collection of **funny Statistic jokes**. There are some statistic detect jokes no one knows (*to tell your friends*) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these **statistic stat puns** funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Today's going to be great!

The first one shoots and misses him on the left.

The second shoots and misses him on the right.

The third one shouts, "We've hit it!"

When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."

As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.

"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.

"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"

What are the chances of that?

This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.

... I told her "that's Mean".

They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says "Alright, we got it!"

The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."

The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.

The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.

The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"

that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.

Hmm....

You can explore statistic correlation reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean statistic psychologically dad jokes. There are also statistic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!

That's scary!

It means 75% are running around untreated!

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.

I feel that December will be amazing

Luckily for me, I live next to two gorgeous 12 year olds.

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

50% of them last forever!

Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?

Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"

Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.

9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Because it's a co-median ^_^

They do, however, say "zed".

After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out "We got him!"

What it shows is interesting, but what it doesn't show is the most important part.

They spot a bird, and take turns trying to shoot it.

The first statistician shoots 10 feet above the bird

The second statistician shoots 10 feet below the bird

The third statistician shouts "We got it!"

... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.

He explains, "The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer."

Which got me thinking,

Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?

That means there are 70% running around out there unmedicated...

They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.

The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."

The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"

Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"

6/7 dwarfs aren't happy.

Guy: You're the most average girl out here.

Girl: Hey, you're mean!

Guy: No, you are.

And average at worst

...they hide more than what they reveal.

People will believe you 80% of the time.

They spot a deer, immediately the first statistician takes a shot and it misses two meters to the left. The second statistician takes a shot and misses two meters to the right. "We got it!" yells the third Statistician

and come across a large deer.

The first statistician fires, but misses by a meter to the left.

The second statistician fires, but also misses, this time by a meter to the right.

The third statistician doesn't fire, but starts shouting in triumph "We got it! We got it!"

The other 35% haven't been to prison yet.

A pupulation

A statistic is misused.

Well, 46.8%.

I wonder how is he still alive.

Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds

Is happy?

I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...

Ten long miserable years

6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.

Hearing Aids, Walking Aids, Seeing Aids...

The rest are sucked into it

At least I know I'm funny

The Ns justify the means.

I think it's because of pier pressure.

I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend

Did you know 80% of statistics are false?

But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.

**Guy**: You're the most average girl out here.

**Girl**: Hey, you're mean!

**Guy**: No, you are.

I hope its Steve, he's really cute

For example, 5 out of 6 people think Russian roulette is perfectly safe.

mathematician: by all means

Hₒ Hₒ Hₒ

With that being said, I'm about to have a wild couple of days.

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

That's mean

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the statistic statistically jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working statistic notable piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.