The Best 66 Statistic Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Statistic jokes. There are some statistic detect jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these statistic stat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Statistic Jokes and Puns

Statistics show that the average person has sex 89 times a year

Today's going to be great!

Three statisticians are hunting when they see a rabbit.

The first one shoots and misses him on the left.

The second shoots and misses him on the right.

The third one shouts, "We've hit it!"

When a statistician passes the airport security check...

When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."

Statistic joke, When a statistician passes the airport security check...

A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.

As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"

Two statisticians walk into a bar...

What are the chances of that?


Frightening Statistic

This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.

My statistics professor told me I was average...

... I told her "that's Mean".

Statistic joke, My statistics professor told me I was average...

3 statisticians go hunting

They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says "Alright, we got it!"

Statistics humour

The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."

Three statisticians are bow hunting in the woods and see a deer...

The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.

The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.

The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"

I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others

that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.

Hmm....

You can explore statistic correlation reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean statistic psychologically dad jokes. There are also statistic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


This is a frightening statistic

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
That's scary!
It means 75% are running around untreated!

Statistics are like bikinis.

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,

Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.

Statistics say that the typical man has sex 92 times a year...

I feel that December will be amazing

They say statistically, 1 out of every 3 of your neighbors are likely to be a pedophile.

Luckily for me, I live next to two gorgeous 12 year olds.

Statistic joke, They say statistically, 1 out of every 3 of your neighbors are likely to be a pedophile.

Math puns are boring

Algebra puns are too linear, arithmetic puns are too basic, trigonometry puns are too graphic, calculus puns are all derivatives. Only the statistic puns are the occasional outlier.

I Got Worried After Reading the Statistic on Marriage

50% of them last forever!

I heard a statistic that there are more men named David in charge of companies than there are women.

Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?


Two statisticians are out hunting...

Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"

Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child molester...

Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.

Statistics show that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy

Statistically...

9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?

Because it's a co-median ^_^

Statistics show that most Canadians are nosey.

They do, however, say "zed".

Three statisticians go out hunting together...

After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out "We got him!"

Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman:

What it shows is interesting, but what it doesn't show is the most important part.

Three statisticians go hunting

They spot a bird, and take turns trying to shoot it.

The first statistician shoots 10 feet above the bird

The second statistician shoots 10 feet below the bird

The third statistician shouts "We got it!"

Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman...

... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.

When a statistician goes through airport security, they find a bomb in his bag.

He explains, "The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer."

Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships

Which got me thinking,
Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?

Statistics say that 30% of women are on medication for some sort of mental issue...

That means there are 70% running around out there unmedicated...

A statistician, a mathematician, and a biologist are standing outside a house.

They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.

The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."

The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"

Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"

Statistically speaking...

6/7 dwarfs aren't happy.

A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar

Guy: You're the most average girl out here.

Girl: Hey, you're mean!

Guy: No, you are.

My statistic skills are mediocre at best

And average at worst

Statistics and mini skirts..

...they hide more than what they reveal.

If you're ever losing an argument, randomly quote a statistic

People will believe you 80% of the time.

Three statisticians go on a hunting trip...

They spot a deer, immediately the first statistician takes a shot and it misses two meters to the left. The second statistician takes a shot and misses two meters to the right. "We got it!" yells the third Statistician

Three statisticians go out hunting...

and come across a large deer.
The first statistician fires, but misses by a meter to the left.
The second statistician fires, but also misses, this time by a meter to the right.
The third statistician doesn't fire, but starts shouting in triumph "We got it! We got it!"

Statistics show 65% of Baltimore men have had sex in the shower.

The other 35% haven't been to prison yet.

What does a statistician call all the dogs in the world?

A pupulation

Every 40 seconds...

A statistic is misused.

Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic.

Well, 46.8%.

According to statistics, a man is ran over every 5 minutes in a city.

I wonder how is he still alive.

According to statistics one in three people live next to a paedophile

Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds

Did you know that, statistically, only one in seven dwarfs...

Is happy?

Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom.

I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...

Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters

Ten long miserable years

Statistically,

6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.

Statistically, older people are the most common carriers of AIDS...

Hearing Aids, Walking Aids, Seeing Aids...

Statistics say that 85% of gay men are simply born homosexuals

The rest are sucked into it

You know I read a wild statistic the other day that said like a woman is 70 percent more likely to laugh if she finds the dude attractive

At least I know I'm funny

In statistics, a larger sample size results in more reliable averages.

The Ns justify the means.

According to statistics, the highest suicide rate is found near piers.

I think it's because of pier pressure.

Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.

I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend

My friend told me a statistic today, however I found it was false

Did you know 80% of statistics are false?

According to statistics, 80% of all fatal plane crashes happen in the first 3 or last 8 minutes of the flight.

But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.

A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar

**Guy**: You're the most average girl out here.

**Girl**: Hey, you're mean!

**Guy**: No, you are.

Statistically, 1 out of 10 friends is gay.

I hope its Steve, he's really cute

Statistics can be misleading.

For example, 5 out of 6 people think Russian roulette is perfectly safe.

can somebody tell me how statistics are done

mathematician: by all means

What does a statistician say on christmas?

Hβ‚’ Hβ‚’ Hβ‚’

Statistics show that on average people have sex 89 times per year.

With that being said, I'm about to have a wild couple of days.

Statistics are like bikinis....

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

Statisticians give low paid workers an expected life of 68.7 years

That's mean

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the statistic statistically jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working statistic notable piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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