The Best 47 Stationary Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stationary jokes. There are some stationary pencil jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stationary assign puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stationary Jokes and Puns

Stock Market Report

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points.

Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged.

The market for raisins dried up. Balloon prices were inflated. And toilet paper touched a new bottom.

It doesn't matter how much you move the envelope

It'll still be stationary.

No matter how much you push an envelope

It will always be stationary

Stationary joke, No matter how much you push an envelope

Today in the stock market...

Feathers are down, while escalators have continued on their slow decline. The market for raisins has dried up. Scott Tissue reached a new bottom, while paper remained stationary. There is is some good news, however: helium is up, and elevators rose, as well.

Did you hear about the stationary store?

It moved.

My wife just emailed me asking if we had any moving boxes

I told her no... All of our boxes are still. That's why we purchased them from a stationary store.

No matter how hard you push the envelope it's still stationary.

thanks dad!

Stationary joke, No matter how hard you push the envelope it's still stationary.

No matter how far you push the envelope it will still be stationery

(I know how to spell stationary)

I made a car entirely out of pencils, rubbers, rulers and notebooks. Went to turn the key..

Stayed stationary.

Stationary Thief Hits Police Headquarters:

Police say they can't rule anything out.

Once you throw a paper airplane it's no longer.....



You can explore stationary fixed reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stationary static dad jokes. There are also stationary puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Who is the king of stationary?

The ruler.

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Did you know that no matter how much you move a piece of paper,

It remains stationary...

Did you hear that Dwight Shrute is running a spin class at the local Y?

Yeah, apparently he's amazing at peddling stationary.

What do you call a pencil super-glued to the floor?

Stationary stationery

Stationary joke, What do you call a pencil super-glued to the floor?

I went to get some new pens,

but the stationary store moved.

A pencil and a rubber had a foot race.

Neither won. They remained stationary.

I was instructed to relocate all these boxes of letterhead. But I can't...

They're stationary.

Which country has the most expensive stationary?

North Korea, they have a supreme ruler.

How Far Can One Push The Envelope?

They Can't. Envelopes are stationary.

What is a stationary set's favourite dessert?

Sticky tape pudding

Did you hear about the magic stationary shop?

It moved.

Got any rolling papers?

Sorry, all my papers are stationary.

Did you hear about the stationary store?

It was terrible

A man walked into an office supply shop a year ago, laid down and said he is a pencil and will never leave.

Some say he is still stationary today.

Why doesn't a notebook move?

Because it's a stationary object.

Why is it so difficult to move mail?

Because it's stationary.

I was so surprised

when I found out the stationary store moved.

Told this to my coworker today

Coworker tells me he has been going to the gym lately. Said last night he did 30 minutes on the stationary bike. I told him that's never gonna get you anywhere.

Dwayne Johnson's branded stationary cutting tool

Rock paper scissors

What's a fun, stationary pool game that really gets the lungs pumping?

Marco, Polio!

A quote from the guy who invented the stationary exercise bike...

"My life is going nowhere."

Why did the paper lose the race against the rock?

Because it was stationary.

What do you call a woman with...

No legs? A stationary sandwich maker

No arms? A walking cook book

No tongue? A silent vacuum cleaner

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be

in a stationary store.

Stationary bike

Hey guys! Does anyone know where I can buy a stationary bike? I want to use it to go to work these months. Thanks in advance!

Yo momma's so fat

She had to upgrade her stationary bike to a Pelo2ton.

I asked my pen why it never moves.

It wrote "sorry, I'm stationary"

What do you call a pencil that doesn't move?


I always used to go to the gym with my ex

Oh how she loved riding stationary bikes together...

We broke up because we couldn't see ourselves getting anywhere.

What remains stationary no matter how hard you push?

The envelope.


What do you call paper figures that sit on top of your desk?

Stationary art

I was hit by a stationary vehicle the other day,

luckily it wasn't carrying any scissors

What do you call a piece of paper that doesn't move?

Stationary stationery.

I threw a pencil yesterday

I suppose you could say it wasn't stationary anymore

What do you call a pencil you've just thrown out the window?

I don't know. But it's certainly not stationary.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stationary stationery jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stationary motionless piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes