The Best 25 Statements Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Statements jokes. There are some statements investments jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these statements democracy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Statements Jokes and Puns
Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with "I"
After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says
"I is-" and is immediately interrupted by the teacher,
"I *am*!"
She side-eyes the teacher, frowns and ignores her teacher, starting again
"I is-" again, the teacher interrupts her, this time a little more snappily
"It's I *am*! Use the proper word!"
The girl turns to look at her this time, eyelids drooped with exasperation.
"Fine," she sighs "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
I have a friend who says that he hates all comforters.
I told him that he shouldn't make blanket statements like that.
I want to say comforters are superior to quilts
But I don't like to make blanket statements.
Fans around the globe are rockin' out to Mariah Carey's latest hit single ...
"*The Monitors Are Down ...*", performed live for the first time today in downtown New York City, has been praised for a unique nihilistic style and pertinent statements regarding the internet-induced apathy of today's youth.
Why do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles burn all their bank statements?
Because they don't want to have a Shredder in the house.
I'm getting tired of politicians using blanket statements
It's putting me to sleep
You know what they say about blanket statements?
They're all false.
Most people prefer quilts over duvets
but you shouldn't make blanket statements.
You know what I hate?
People that start their statements with rhetorical questions.
I shouldn't make blanket statements about autistic people but…
a lot of them do enjoy being wrapped in blankets.
It's difficult to get anything specific out of a bedding expert...
...since they're always making blanket statements
You can explore statements mundane reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean statements declaration dad jokes. There are also statements puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Money can't buy you happiness.
But it can buy you the ability to make motivational statements.
Everybody's trying to make clever statements on Twitter.
In the end they always turn out as 'Stupid autocovfefe!'
I'd like to say that ALL quilts are great...
...but I try to avoid making blanket statements.
A little proof
Women = time * money.
Time = money.
Women = money^2
Money is the root of all the problems
So, by the statements in lines 3 and 4 we get:
Women = root of all the problems^2
Hence:
Women = all the problems
Now it's proven.
There are many contradictory statements like...
Pacifist mass murder, Clinton keeping emails, and Apple is innovative.
What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?
A parent, Lee.
Happy wife, Happy life
are mutually exclusive statements.
My friend keeps making statements, only to actually mean the exact opposite of what he says. And he just keeps doing it, over and over again, always!
You could say that he is contraddictive.
Stop checking your bank statements
You don't need that negativity in your life.
The criminal agreed to testify, but his statements were lies.
He sang off key.
I hate it when people misappropriate common words to add dramatic emphasis to their statements.
It literally makes me physically ill.
British people have trouble making declarative statements...
Dun they?
After being confronted by China on account of his statements regarding Taiwan, Donald Trump had this to say...
"TAIWAN #1!"
Obama has suspended fundraising
activities
Postby Jack Flash » Sep 22 2012
10:12:03 am
In light of Mitt Romney's recent
statements to the press, Obama has
Obama has suspended fund raising
activities.
In light of Mitt Romney's recent statements to the press, President Obama has decided to let Mitt Romney do his campaigning for him.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the statements account jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working statements sep piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.