State University Jokes
25 state university jokes and hilarious state university puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about state university that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest State University Short Jokes
Short state university jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The state university humour may include short michigan state jokes also.
- It's a good thing Gatorade was developed at the University of Florida as opposed to Florida State Seminole Fluid doesn't sound quite as good.
- I read the other day that Penn State has spent $237 million defending the university during the Sandusky lawsuit. Think of how many peoples' education that would pay for. At least 4 or 5.
- Why doesn't the United States have universal healthcare? Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment
- A university in the United States was robbed of a whopping $170,000 One student managed to erase his own debt.
- According to the Big Bang Theory the universe began in Arizona Our whole universe was in a hot dense state
- What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common? None attended the University of Miami.
- What's the difference between a state funded University and a for-profit college? For-profit colleges are honest
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State University One Liners
Which state university one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with state university? I can suggest the ones about students university and university.
- Where do men learn the best dad jokes? Punn State University.
- Where did the proctologist go to college? Pro State University
I'll see myself out. - What college do weeaboos attend? Ohio State University
Fun-Filled State University Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about state university you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean penn state jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make state university pranks.
Gatorades competition.
Upon the inception of Gatorade at the University of Florida, and the strides the teams were making on the field, Florida State University *also* tried to make their own energy drink for student athletes.
Unfortunately no one wanted to drink the "*Seminole Fluid*"...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a good thing Gatorade was invented at the University of Florida and not Florida State University.
Because then it would be Seminole fluid.
A fan emailed Bethesda about Starfield
A fan emails Bethesda and asked if the game would contain any Huge Insect Aliens like in Starship Troopers.
A few weeks later he gets a reply back stating the following:
Hi
Thanks for reaching out.
While we can make no promises of insects in the massive universe, we promise Starfield will be full of bugs!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's the day of the big game, and a (pick your rivalry) Michigan fan meets an Ohio State fan at the u**... trough...
The Buckeye notices that the Michigan fan doesn't wash his hands after he uses the bathroom. He snidely remarks, "You know, at The Ohio State University, they teach us to wash our hands after using the bathroom."
The Wolverine pauses, looks back, and says, "Good for you. At Michigan, they teach us not to pee on our hands."
The Original sports drink.
Despite What The University of Florida Claims about Gatorade being the first sports drink Florida State Football had the first energy drink. They have been drinking Seminole Fluid for years.
John Oliver interviews Stephen Hawking. John Oliver: "You've stated that you believe that there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean, that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you?"
I was running late this morning to I took my weet box to eat on my commute to work. In my tired state I hopped on the wrong bus which instead of taking me to work went hurtling through space.
I accidentally had gotten on the Universal Cereal Bus.
Wash. Biol. Surv.
A biological survey team based in Washington State University were studying the migratory habits of crows, so they caught a number of the birds in several states, tagged them with a metal tag marked WASH. BIOL. SURV. along with a box number and serial number, and released them.
After a while they received the following letter in slightly shaky handwriting:
*Dear sirs, Yesterday I shot one of yer crows an give it to mah wife to cook. Followin yer instructions, she washed it, bioled it an surved it. It was the worst thing we ever et.*
Michigan jokes
So a michigan state fan, university of michigan fan, notre dame fan, and a penn state fan are all climbing up a mountain. As they were climbing they began to argue over who had the most school spirit. As they reached the top the penn state fan wants to show that he has the most school spirit so jumps off the mountain yelling "this is for the nitany lions". Not wanting to be outdone the notre dame fan jumps off saying "this is for the fighting irish". Then the michigan state fan, not wanting to be outdone, yells "this is for the spartans" and pushes the michigan fan off the mountain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Intimate With A Ghost
A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, "How many folk here believe in ghosts?"
About 80 students raise their hands.
"That's a good start," says the professor, "For those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good," continues the professor, "I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
15 students raise their hands.
"That's a great response," remarks the impressed professor, "has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
3 students raise their hands.
"Brilliant. But let me ask you one question further...
Have any of you ever been intimate with a ghost?"
One of his students from a r**... state raises his hand.
The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed that.
You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The r**... student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor asks, "Well, tell us what it's like to have made love to a ghost."
The student replies, "Ghost?!? Dang it... I thought you said 'goats.'
Mahatma Gandhi wanted to be a babysitter...
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
Nevertheless, in his final years he decided that he wanted to be a babysitter and sent an application to the Babysitter University. Unfortunately they rejected him, stating that they could not accept an applicant that was "A super calloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Heard this one seems kind of old.
Three strangers strike up a conversation in the passenger lounge in the Bozeman, Montana airport, while waiting for their respective flights...One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show, and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East ....Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. Finally, the American Indian clears his t**... and softly he speaks, 'At one time here... my people were many... but sadly, now we are few.' The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, 'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?' The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . . . 'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'.