State Trooper Jokes
55 state trooper jokes and hilarious state trooper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about state trooper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest State Trooper Short Jokes
Short state trooper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The state trooper humour may include short trooper jokes also.
- A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
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State Trooper One Liners
Which state trooper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with state trooper? I can suggest the ones about state worker and highway patrol.
- It's like the weather saw a state trooper It went from 90 to 45 real quick
- State trooper pulls a car over... then shoots at the occupant
Comical State Trooper Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about state trooper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean highway cop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make state trooper pranks.
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said:
"Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
Seniors!
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
The speeder
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard--I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper
It's a miracle!
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says,
"Good Lord! He's done it again!"
A Jumper
On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit s**...," she says.
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you are wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!
The state trooper is driving down the highway when...
he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times, and then drive away. Two miles down the road he does the same thing. Another two miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the truck driver to explain and the driver says "The load limit is ten tons, and I'm carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I've got to keep some of them flying around."
Horrible Accident
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
The police vs the senior citizen
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp...h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper
A California state trooper pulled over a driver who ran a stop sign.
"C'mon, Officer. I slowed down, didn't I?" argued the driver.
"But you must come to a complete stop at the sign," said the trooper.
"'Stop.' 'Slow down.' What's the difference, really?" quibbled the driver.
The cop was so irritated that he whipped out his billy club and started hitting the man's arm with it, shouting, "Well, do you want me to stop or slow down?!"
A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…
…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.
The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.
What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?
They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterday—in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving down the highway...
After they pass mile marker 16, a state trooper pulls them over for speeding. The trooper goes up to the window and sees Heisenberg behind the wheel.
Trooper: "Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going when you passed that mile marker?"
Heisenberg: "Well I certainly don't know now that I know where I was."
The trooper arrests them and he decides to search the trunk of the vehicle. Inside he finds a dead cat.
He goes back to them sitting in the back of his cruiser and says "Did you know there is a dead cat in your trunk?"
Schrodinger: "Well *now* I do!"
A farmer was working in his field...
when a carload of politicians rounded the corner at high speed, lost control, and flipped into a ditch.
A few hours later, a state trooper pulled up and asked, "Excuse me sir, but did you happen to see a car full of politicians come through here?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did, officer. They crashed over there," replied the farmer, gesturing towards a fresh mound of dirt.
"You BURIED them?" asked the officer in shock. "Were they dead?"
The farmer scratched his head. "Well, officer, they SAID they weren't, but... well, you know how those politicians lie"
"Have a good day, sir"
He got his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights
flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.
Today is Friday.
If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper
A heroic biker . . .
Last week, a group of Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
The would-be jumper responded, "I'm going to commit s**...."
While George didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a legend-in-the-making opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
Driving home very drunk
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.
"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.
"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.
"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.
"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.
"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
Old guy bought a new car
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
The senior citizen and the Corvette.
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
A Brand New Corvette
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp
h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
22 mph speed limit
Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"
The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before you go, ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken."
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 136."
The penguin joke (not the ice cream one)
So this guy is driving down the road with some penguins. Now some guys have penguins; this dude had some penguins! Dozens and dozens of the little dudes all piled up in guy's car cruising down the road. Well this state trooper sees him and pulls him over. Trooper walks up to the car, Mister, I'm going to give you a ticket if you don't take all these penguins straight to the zoo!
Guy in the car goes, Yes sir! and rides out. Well the next day the same state trooper is posted up in the same spot and sees the same guy drive by with the same penguins! All the same penguins, all piled up in dude's car: stacked up in the backseat, hanging out the trunk, everywhere! Today, though, they're all wearing sunglasses. So the trooper walks up to the driver, Mister, didn't I tell you yesterday to take all these penguins to the zoo?!!
Yes sir, I did. Today we're going to the beach!
Watch Out For That Tree
A state trooper pulls over a car on a lonely back road and approaches the driver. "Sir, is there a reason you're weaving all over the road?"
The driver replies, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rearview mirror, the officer says, "Sir, that's your air freshener."
A man is pulled over speeding..
the State Trooper walks up to the driver's window and asks the driver "do you know why I pulled you over?" "Yes" the man says, "I was speeding." "Why were you speeding?" the Trooper asks.
"My ex-wife left me for a Trooper, and I thought maybe you were him, trying to bring her back!"
A state trooper knocks on Mr. Smith's door...
"Mr. Smith," The officer goes on, "as you know, we have been searching for your missing wife for the last 10 days. We've put our best men and our most advanced resources into the search. The governor is going to call a press conference this evening to call off the search. I'm here to tell you that you should prepare for the worst."
So, Mr. Smith says, "alright, but you've gotta drive me to Goodwill to buy everything back!"
2 old ladies are in a car...
When a state trooper spots them on the highway. He notices that they are going very very slowly in the passing lane, and decides to pull them over because going too slowly can be just as dangerous as going to fast!
When he approaches the car, he notices that the old lady in the passenger's seat is visibly shaken.
The trooper asks "Ma'am, why are you going so slowly on the highway in the left-hand lane? This is the passing lane and your slow speed is endangering other drivers."
The old lady driving gives the trooper a look of bewilderment and says "but officer, the speed limit is very clearly 31 miles per hour, it says so on the sign just over there!"
"No ma'am, that is the highway number. The speed limit is actually 70 miles per hour. You should think about speeding it up to get your sick friend to the hospital!"
The shaken old lady replies "I am not sick, but we did just get off Highway 155"
A state trooper lays in wait at a speed trap...
and spots a speeder.
He flashes his lights, pulls the car over, walks up to the driver and says, "I've been waiting for you all day."
The driver responds, "I got here as fast as I could."
A guy is doing 90 in a 75 and sees lights from a patrol car in the mirror...
He thinks furiously for a moment and then floors it, 95... 100.. 110... Finally, with the officer still hot on his tail he slows to a crawl and pulls over to the roadside.
The officer, obviously on edge, cautiously approaches the car as the man rolls down the window and places hands out where they can easily be seen.
"You were going a little fast there," the officer says "but it is the end of my shift and tonight the boys are coming over for beers and cards, so you have exactly one chance to explain yourself."
The man, with all the sincerity he could muster, replied "Sir, round about a year ago my wife left me for a state trooper. I tell ya, that nag leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me and I knew it was too good to be true because when I saw your lights in the rearview, I could have sworn you were bringing her back."
The officer paused for a moment and said "Have a nice day and drive safe."
Emergency flashers
Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their n**... bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my cardboard cutouts. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!
The old Man and the State Trooper
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
A state trooper pulls over a priest
A state trooper pulls over a priest. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
A guy finally buys his dream car
... And on his first day of owning it, he gets caught speeding down the highway.
Pulling over, the officer walks up to the window and says "Son, I've been a cop for over 30 years, I've heard every excuse there is. If you come up with a new one I'll let you off with a warning."
The driver says "Well, to be honest sir, my wife recently left me for a state trooper, and when I saw your car, I was scared you were bringing her back."
A man gets pulled over for speeding...
The office saunters up to his car and he rolls down the window.
"I've heard every excuse for speeding in the book. I bet you can't give me one I haven't heard. But if you do, I'll let you off with a warning."
The man replies.
"Well you see officer, few years back my wife went and ran off with a state trooper."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, when I saw your lights turn on I was afraid you fellas was coming to give her back!"
A man is pulled over at 2am by a state trooper
State trooper: Hey, where you headed at 2 am sir?
Elderly man: I'm just on my way to hear a lecture about the dangers of drinking and staying out late and smoking m**... with friends who are a bad influence.
State Trooper: Really? Who's giving that kind of lecture at 2 in the morning?
Elderly man: That would be my wife, officer.
Two Alabama State Troopers
Two Alabama state troopers were chasing a Mustang on I-20 East towards Georgia. When the suspect crossed the state line, the first trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie trooper parked behind him and asked, "Hey, Sarge, why'd you stop?"
The sergeant replied, "Ah, he's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we ain't ever gonna catch him."
A man is driving down the highway when a State Trooper appears at his bumper and turns on his lights ...
The man starts to speed up a little and realizes the trooper is still following him. He changes lanes and the trooper is still following him. The man then proceeds to floor it as fast as his car could go.
After about a 30 minute chase, the man runs out of gas and the State Trooper approaches his window. The man, who is older and has his hands up, appears to be shaking.
The State Trooper says, Sir, why wouldn't you pull over?
The man says, well, about 15 years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper ... I ran because I thought you were bringing her back.
A man gets pulled over for speeding
When the officer approaches his vehicle he tells the man "sir, it's been a long day, and I'm ready to go home. If you can give me a good reason as to why you were speeding I might let you go without a ticket."
The man looks at him and says "well officer, years ago my wife left me for a state trooper, and when I saw you coming for me, I thought you were bringing her back.
Officer says "Have a nice day sir"
When interacting with police follow their instructions carefully
Me: [hears knock on door] "Who is it?"
Trooper: "State Police identify yourself."
Me: "Police identify yourself"
Trooper: "State Police"
Me: "Police"
State troopers arrested an alleged assassin accused of bludgeoning a man to death with two small porcelain figurine in a rice field—
Police admit this may be the first known case of a knick-knack p**... whack.
A state trooper pulls over a elderly lady
The state trooper approaches the car, and asks the elderly lady if she knows why he pulled her over. The elderly lady said of course i do, you wanted to give me a personal invitation to the state troopers ball the state trooper replied uh ma'am. State troopers dont have b**.... He stood there for a second, tipped his hat, and walked back to his car.
It's 3 in the morning and an elderly Jewish man is flying down the highway at 105 mph. A state trooper pulls him over.
"Where in the h**... are you racing to at this hour?"
"To a lecture, officer."
"Who gives a lecture at 3 a.m.?"
"My wife."
A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?""Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again
A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.
License and registration the officer says.
No problem replies the motorist.
What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.
Just had a late night at work he replies.
Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.
Well...I'm an a**... stretcher he says.
An a**... stretcher?
Yeah, I take a**... and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet
What would anyone do with a six foot a**...?! The office exclaims.
Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!
A state trooper pulled along side a speeding driver and is shocked when he sees a elderly woman behind the wheel knitting.
The trooper rolled down the window and yelled, "Pull Over!"
"No!" yelled the woman, "It's a cardigan!"
A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway
Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting
The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver pull over
No! yelled the woman it's a cardigan
A young woman was pulled over for speeding
A state trooper walked to her car window, floppong open his ticket book.
The woman said: I bet you are going to try to sell me a ticket to the troopers' ball.
He replied: State troopers don't have b**....
There was a brief silence. He closed his ticket book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.
A state trooper pulls a man over for speeding.
The officer tells the man, If you can give me an excuse I've never heard before I'll let you go.
The man says to the officer, A few years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were him trying to bring her back to me.
The officer replied, Slow it down and have a nice day.
A young woman was pulled over for speeding
A young woman was pulled over for speeding.
The State Trooper walked to her car window and opened his ticket book.
The woman said, "I bet you're going to try to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers' Ball."
The trooper told her, "Ma'am, State Troopers don't have b**...."
There was a moment of silence... The trooper tipped his hat, and returned to his car.
I got pulled over by a state trooper the other day.
Trooper: Your license states that you're required to wear corrective lenses. Where are your glasses?
Me: It's ok. I've got contacts.
Trooper: Listen pal, I don't care who you know!
A fan emailed Bethesda about Starfield
A fan emails Bethesda and asked if the game would contain any Huge Insect Aliens like in Starship Troopers.
A few weeks later he gets a reply back stating the following:
Hi
Thanks for reaching out.
While we can make no promises of insects in the massive universe, we promise Starfield will be full of bugs!
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV
# Arkansas
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on 1-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver asks, " 'Bout what?"
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"
The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him.
