The Best 14 State Of The Union Jokes

Following is our collection of funny State Of The Union jokes. There are some state of the union confederacy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these state of the union states puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest State Of The Union Jokes and Puns

I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events

Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.

Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.

Oh the irony?

On 2/02/22, both Groundhog Day and the US State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

One involves the meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication .

The other involves a groundhog

During the collapse of the Soviet Union...

... An elderly woman is surveyed by the government to conclude what the state of mind of the populous is.

**Survey man**: Where were you born?

**Woman**: St. Petersburg

**Survey man**: Where do you live now?

**Woman**: Leningrad

**Survey man**: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

**Woman**: St. Petersburg

We should get all the ex-soviet states back together

Then we could have a Soviet Re-Union


In the bad old days on the Soviet Union,

a dissident published a pamphlet in which he openly said Stalin was a fool. Sure enough, the man was arrested days later for this crime. So, the dissident went to court and said "I'm innocent and want to defend myself! What I said was truthful - I did not commit libel!" The judge said to him "you don't understand - you're not being charged for libel, you're being charged with revealing a state secret."

-heard on an Intelligence Squared debate.

Which former European state exported mainly napkins?

The Serviette Union

Secede from the Union

United States: Should we do something about guns?
Texas: WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO
United States: How bout dem immigrants tho
Texas: WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO
United States: I like ice cream
Texas: WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO
United States: Let's ban weed
Texas: aiight cool
California:WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO

If Donald Trump talks about "fake news" during the State of the Union...

Does that make it the State of the Onion

Pluses in the Soviet Union

Two Ukrainians are drinking together. Between shots of vodka, they are discussing many issues. One of the men was but a very young child when the Soviet Union dissolved and Ukraine and the other former member states gained their independence. Having very little recollection of what life was like back then, he asked the older man, Tell me, my good friend, were there pluses in the Soviet Union? The older man replied, There were. They were printed on batteries.

I thought my wife was watching the State of the Union last night

Turns out it was The End of The F**king World on Netflix.

You can explore state of the union state reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean state of the union statehood dad jokes. There are also state of the union puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Obama milk joke

Barack Obama: We’ve already announced over 500 reforms, and just a fraction of them will save business and citizens more than $10 billion over the next five years. We got rid of one rule from 40 years ago that could have forced some dairy farmers to spend $10,000 a year proving that they could contain a spill — because milk was somehow classified as an oil. With a rule like that, I guess it was worth crying over spilled milk.

If the United States got the moon for winning the space race, what did the Soviet Union recieve for second place?

A constellation prize.

John Boehner killed a bug at the state for the union address

It was a House fly.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the state of the union seceding jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working state of the union confederate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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