Stat Jokes
136 stat jokes and hilarious stat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stat Short Jokes
Short stat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stat humour may include short stood jokes also.
- My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data. I guess the N's justify the means.
- Some people say rolling for stats in D&D is old fashioned and unforgiving But I think it builds character.
- Did you hear about the RPG fan who keeps making female characters and re-doing their stats? He respecs women.
- North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,
This week the stat went up to 9/9! - A blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio.. It says that two Brazilian men were killed. She stats crying and says, "How many is a brazilian?"
- I saw an alarming stat the other day. Apparently 25% of women are taking medication for some sort of mental illness . . . That means that 75% of women are walking around unmedicated!
- What if you died you got stats Something like:
Hours on the internet: 46284. |
Burpees done: 1.25. |
Hours spent crying in a shower: 6627 - I just googled "Superman football stats," and it didn't have his FA cup stats... ...just his league
- According to Wikipedia, the open-source online encyclopedia, India is the world's largest producer of spices. But then again, you should always take stats from the internet with a pinch of salt.
- This popped into my head in class the other day... Why do professors like stats and physics students?
Because they'll work for p naughts.
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Stat One Liners
Which stat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stat? I can suggest the ones about stand and stab.
- My stats teacher told me I was average. I thought that was mean.
- What sound does a sneezing gargoyle make? Stat-choo!
- What did the thirsty weatherman say to his intern? I need my thermos, stat!
- My stats prof is so romantic... He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem
- A millennial walks into a bar I only know this because he shared stats with everyone.
- What would Nicholas Cage ' main stat be if he was a class in an RPG? Constitution.
- Why are some Commies bad at stats? They fail to seize the *mean*s of production.
- What's the most important part of a vegetable's golf stats? The handicap.
- My stats teacher has a PHD in statistics, What are the odds of that?
- TIL... 87.6% of all stats are made up on the spot!
- Did you know... That 80% of all stats are made up?
- Why did the Hindu commit s**...? He wanted to reroll his stats.
- Whats a statisticians favourite S Club 7 song? Reach For The **Stats**.

Cheeky Stat Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about stat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean acts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stat pranks.
Statistics show that the average person has s**... 89 times a year
Today's going to be great!
Three statisticians are hunting when they see a rabbit.
The first one shoots and misses him on the left.
The second shoots and misses him on the right.
The third one shouts, "We've hit it!"
The state trooper is driving down the highway when...
he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of his truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck several times, and then drive away. Two miles down the road he does the same thing. Another two miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the truck driver to explain and the driver says "The load limit is ten tons, and I'm carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I've got to keep some of them flying around."
When a statistician passes the airport security check...
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."
A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.
As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"
Two statisticians walk into a bar...
What are the chances of that?
What state has the smallest soft drinks?
Minisoda
Which U.S. state abbreviation is the best?
I'm not sure, but Oklahoma's is OK.
My statistics professor told me I was average...
... I told her "that's Mean".
Three stat professors were out hunting...
...when they came upon a deer by a river.
The first professor fired his rifle, and the shot went three feet to the left.
The second professor fired, and the shot went 3 feet to the right.
The third stood and exclaimed "Alright! We got him!"
Which state serves the smallest soft drinks?
Minnesota.
3 statisticians go hunting
They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says "Alright, we got it!"
Statistics humour
The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."
Three statisticians are bow hunting in the woods and see a deer...
The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.
The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.
The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"
What did one statue say to the other statue he hadn't seen in a while?
"Statue bro?"
Statistics are like bikinis.
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness,
Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.
Statistics say that the typical man has s**... 92 times a year...
I feel that December will be amazing
States are like butts
No one likes the flat ones.
What state has the best small sized soft drink?
Minisoda
A state trooper lays in wait at a speed trap...
and spots a speeder.
He flashes his lights, pulls the car over, walks up to the driver and says, "I've been waiting for you all day."
The driver responds, "I got here as fast as I could."
Statement from the moderates regarding "The Darkening"
Does your state have less water than California?
Drought it.
What state do the most math teachers come from?
Mathachusits!
Two statisticians are out hunting...
Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"
Stats show the average person has s**... 89 times per year
Looks like I'm in store for a wild December
What U.S. State has the smallest sodas?
Minisoda
There are four states of matter.
Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives.
Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child m**......
Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.
Statistics show that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy
Statistically...
9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang r**....
In which state does the Mississippi river flow?
Liquid.
Statistical inference joke - why are two medians in a single data set funny?
Because it's a co-median ^_^
Three statisticians go out hunting together...
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out "We got him!"
Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman:
What it shows is interesting, but what it doesn't show is the most important part.
Three statisticians go hunting
They spot a bird, and take turns trying to shoot it.
The first statistician shoots 10 feet above the bird
The second statistician shoots 10 feet below the bird
The third statistician shouts "We got it!"
Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman...
... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.
When a statistician goes through airport security, they find a bomb in his bag.
He explains, "The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer."
Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships
Which got me thinking,
Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?
I'm still in a state of total shock
I mean the Cubs won the World Series
A state trooper pulls over a priest
A state trooper pulls over a priest. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
A statistician, a mathematician, and a biologist are standing outside a house.
They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.
The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."
The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"
Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"
Which state has the highest s**... rate ?
The Islamic State.
Statistically speaking...
6/7 dwarfs aren't happy.
A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar
Guy: You're the most average girl out here.
Girl: Hey, you're mean!
Guy: No, you are.
In what state are most cows found in?
Solid
Do you know why Oklahoma's state slogan is "Oklahoma is OK"?
Because they can't spell "mediocre".
Only 49 states like computers...
The last state isn't Dell-aware
What state has the worst drivers?
The Islamic State.
What did the statue say when he met his long lost statue brother?
He said, "Hey, is-statue?!"
What does the Statue Of Liberty stand for
She can't sit down.
How did Staten Island get its name?
A group of explorers discovered it and the near-sighted one asked,
*"Is that an island?"*
and the rest of them agreed that it was a good name for it.
What state wears glasses?
Mississippi, because it has four eyes.
The first three states of matter are liquid, solid, and gas. What are four and five?
Nine.
The statement "You are what you eat" isn't really true.
If you eat a vegetarian, you probably aren't a vegetarian.
49 states don't know about computers.
The last state is Dell-aware.
In the US, what state are the most people in?
Depression.
Three statisticians go on a hunting trip...
They spot a deer, immediately the first statistician takes a shot and it misses two meters to the left. The second statistician takes a shot and misses two meters to the right. "We got it!" yells the third Statistician
Three statisticians go out hunting...
and come across a large deer.
The first statistician fires, but misses by a meter to the left.
The second statistician fires, but also misses, this time by a meter to the right.
The third statistician doesn't fire, but starts shouting in triumph "We got it! We got it!"
The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly...
The further north you go the more southern it gets.
Is the state of Oklahoma gay?
Not if you say no Oklahomo
Statistics show 65% of Baltimore men have had s**... in the shower.
The other 35% haven't been to prison yet.
Which state sells the smallest cans of coke?
Minisoda
Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic.
Well, 46.8%.
According to statistics, a man is ran over every 5 minutes in a city.
I wonder how is he still alive.
All states should legalize m**... and redirect the resulting tax revenues to road repair
We'll call the program "Operation p**... Holes."
According to statistics one in three people live next to a p**...
Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds
Statistically, there should be one gay student per 30 student classroom.
I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...
What state has the fastest readers?
New York, they set the world record for fast reading in 2001 for going through 110 stories in about 10 seconds.
States would make a lot more revenue if they taxed people who don't understand math or basic probability.
Oh wait. I forgot about the lottery.
Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters
Ten long miserable years
Being in a state of depression is one of the worst place to find yourself.
But at least it's not Mississippi.
Statistically,
6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.
Statistically, older people are the most common carriers of AIDS...
Hearing Aids, Walking Aids, Seeing Aids...
Statistics say that 85% of gay men are simply born homosexuals
The rest are s**... into it
In statistics, a larger sample size results in more reliable averages.
The Ns justify the means.
According to statistics, the highest s**... rate is found near piers.
I think it's because of pier pressure.
Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.
I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
A state trooper pulls over a elderly lady
The state trooper approaches the car, and asks the elderly lady if she knows why he pulled her over. The elderly lady said of course i do, you wanted to give me a personal invitation to the state troopers ball the state trooper replied uh ma'am. State troopers dont have b**.... He stood there for a second, tipped his hat, and walked back to his car.

