Following is our collection of funny Stat jokes. There are some stat statistical jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stat promptly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Today's going to be great!
The first one shoots and misses him on the left.
The second shoots and misses him on the right.
The third one shouts, "We've hit it!"
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."
As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"
What are the chances of that?
Minisoda
I'm not sure, but Oklahoma's is OK.
... I told her "that's Mean".
...when they came upon a deer by a river.
The first professor fired his rifle, and the shot went three feet to the left.
The second professor fired, and the shot went 3 feet to the right.
The third stood and exclaimed "Alright! We got him!"
Minnesota.
They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says "Alright, we got it!"
You can explore stat instant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stat haste dad jokes. There are also stat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."
The first shoots his arrow and misses to the right by three feet.
The second shoots and misses three feet to the left.
The third throws up his arms and yells, "We got him!"
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.
I feel that December will be amazing
Luckily for me, I live next to two gorgeous 12 year olds.
No one likes the flat ones.
and spots a speeder.
He flashes his lights, pulls the car over, walks up to the driver and says, "I've been waiting for you all day."
The driver responds, "I got here as fast as I could."
Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"
Looks like I'm in store for a wild December
Minisoda
Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives.
Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.
Liquid.
I thought that was mean.
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out "We got him!"
I guess the N's justify the means.
... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.
He explains, "The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer."
Which got me thinking,
Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?
A state trooper pulls over a priest. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.
The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."
The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"
Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"
Guy: You're the most average girl out here.
Girl: Hey, you're mean!
Guy: No, you are.
Solid
Because they can't spell "mediocre".
The last state isn't Dell-aware
The Islamic State.
He said, "Hey, is-statue?!"
If you eat a vegetarian, you probably aren't a vegetarian.
They spot a deer, immediately the first statistician takes a shot and it misses two meters to the left. The second statistician takes a shot and misses two meters to the right. "We got it!" yells the third Statistician
The further north you go the more southern it gets.
The other 35% haven't been to prison yet.
I don't remember having any gay classmates, though. Weird...
6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren't Happy.
The rest are sucked into it
I think it's because of pier pressure.
I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend
The state trooper approaches the car, and asks the elderly lady if she knows why he pulled her over. The elderly lady said of course i do, you wanted to give me a personal invitation to the state troopers ball the state trooper replied uh ma'am. State troopers dont have balls. He stood there for a second, tipped his hat, and walked back to his car.
Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,
This week the stat went up to 9/9!
**Guy**: You're the most average girl out here.
**Girl**: Hey, you're mean!
**Guy**: No, you are.
mathematician: by all means
License and registration the officer says.
No problem replies the motorist.
What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.
Just had a late night at work he replies.
Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.
Well...I'm an asshole stretcher he says.
An asshole stretcher?
Yeah, I take assholes and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet
What would anyone do with a six foot asshole?! The office exclaims.
Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!
The trooper rolled down the window and yelled, "Pull Over!"
"No!" yelled the woman, "It's a cardigan!"
Mass-atchoo-setts
I just need to figure out if it's my wife or girlfriend
The officer tells the man, If you can give me an excuse I've never heard before I'll let you go.
The man says to the officer, A few years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were him trying to bring her back to me.
The officer replied, Slow it down and have a nice day.
A Statistician gets on a plane. Guy next to him says "I'm scared of flying." The statistician says "I used to be. I used to be worried about terrorists." The guy asks "How'd you stop being scared?" The statistician says "I bought a bomb on the plane." Panicked, the guy yells "What!?"
Statistician goes "Calm down, you see, I'm not gonna blow myself up, and what are the odds there are two bombs on one plane?"
This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.
In liquid state 😛
Why did a statistician take a zebra with him when he boarded a train?
Because statistically, it's a lot less likely to be a train accident with a Zebra inside it...
I believe they gave him a spleen or a kidney.
Taxas
Wyoming.
They're Cheyenne away from everyone else.
I guess Alaska
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stat immediately jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stat statistician piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.