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Stars Jokes

146 stars jokes and hilarious stars puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stars that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud at these hilarious Stars jokes! From the games Brawl Stars and Pawn Stars, to the planets and stars in the night sky, this short article is packed full of puns and one-liners sure to leave you in stitches! No matter if you're looking for stellar puns or witty one-liners, these Stars jokes have you covered!

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Popular Stars Short Jokes

Short stars jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stars humour may include short starred jokes also.

  1. Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney world and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.
  2. Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system yet? ... They looked at the reviews...
    Only 1 star.
  3. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  4. My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after star wars characters... My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
  5. The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?
  6. The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store. But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new star. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.
  7. Texas is the Lone Star state. Of course, that's out of a possible 5 stars.
  8. Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie! They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.
  9. Neil Degrasse Tyson and mike tyson have something common... I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.
  10. "Daddy, how do stars die?" "Drugs, normally."

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Stars One Liners

Which stars one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stars? I can suggest the ones about movie star and planet.

  1. Why were the star wars movies released 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8 In charge of planning Yoda was
  2. Why haven't alien come to our solar system? They checked our reviews.
    One star.
  3. Why don't aliens visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.
  4. Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plan? The Jedi Code forbids attachments.
  5. My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D... ... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.
  6. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
  7. Son: Dad, how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, usually.
  8. Can you kill someone with a throwing star? Shuriken.
  9. What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray? HDMI
  10. Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7.
  11. Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet? They checked the reviews.. only 1 star
  12. Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 stars at best.
  13. Who swore the most in star wars? R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said
  14. Why is Texas called the Lone Star state? Because of all the one-star reviews
  15. Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Bad joke. Only three stars.

Brawl Stars Jokes

Here is a list of funny brawl stars jokes and even better brawl stars puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dan Schneider is the final boss of Nickelodeon All Star Brawl As Master Foot.
Stars joke, Dan Schneider is the final boss of Nickelodeon All Star Brawl

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about stars can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of stars puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Great Stars Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about stars you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean mars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make stars prank.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson....

...were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".

What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They're both en route to uranus to wipe out the klingons

Can the ninja throw his ninja stars?

Shurikan

My wife's starsign was Cancer, which is quite ironic really, thinking about how she died...

she was attacked by a giant crab

If Ursa Minor is made up of stars...

is it safe to call it a Solar Bear?

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

Two blondes in NY are sitting on a balcony at night

Two blondes are sitting on a balcony at night staring at the stars and moon. One of them asks the other, "what do you think is further, the moon or Florida?" The other responds, "hello?!?! Can you see Florida from here?!?!"

What do Indian movie stars play at the beach?

Bollyball

Women are like stars...

At first they are small and hot, then they get bigger and bigger, then finally they s**... the life out of everything around them.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.

After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Watson awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Holmes, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Holmes replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Sherlock says
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Watson?"
Watson was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Holmes, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

I really like white dwarf stars...

...My favorite is Peter Dinklage.

I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5

It was a pi rated DVD

I rate the next One Direction album...

...four out of five stars.

I sat back looking at the stars and began to think..

Where the HECK is my roof?!

A husband and wife are sitting alone on a hill...

...and the woman says "Darling, do you love me?"
The man says "Do you see all the stars in the sky?"
"Yes?"
"That's how many women I've slept with since I married you."
"But it's daytime. Only the sun is out."
"Yes. Only one: your sister."

My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died.

Mauled to death by a giant crab.

My wife's starsign was cancer, which makes how she died pretty ironic.

Attacked by a giant crab.

What's the best hotel in the world?

Auschwitz. 1.3 million stars.

I always said "Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

But apparently that's not a valid excuse and I can't work for NASA anymore.

So a lady was waiting at the doctor's...

The doctor is obsessed with the stars, and is a junior astrologist, so, naturally, he asks the woman what her Zodiac symbol is. She responds; "Cancer, why?". "What a coincidence..." Said the Doctor.

Amazon Asked Me to Write a Review

Amazon asked for feedback on the used telescope I bought from their site.
I was honest with my review: "This telescope s**.... Two Stars."

I met a ninja and asked if he could throw those pointy stars that ninjas have.

He said, "shuriken."

When I was a kid, my grandfather told me his teeth are like the stars...

...they come out at night.

Sherlock and Watson go camping

Sherlock and Dr. Watson go camping. They pitch their tent and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson and says: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, if there are millions of stars," Watson says, "there must be some with planets, and some of those planets must be like Earth. And if there are planets like Earth, there might be planets with life." And Holmes says, "Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

Sherlock and Watson take a vacation

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

What is the most successful hotel?

Auschwitz, 6 million stars.

Some nights I just lie down and stare up at the stars and I wonder

what happened to my roof

What do identical stars do?

Twin-kle

Your teeth are like the stars

Yellow and separated.

Boy: My love for you is like counting the stars..

Girl: Oww, Infinite?
Boy: Nope, Pointless ..

"Darling, your teeth are like stars."

"So yellow and so far apart..."

Did you know Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating?

1.1 million stars

2 Guys go Camping...

They both fall asleep in a tent. The first guy wakes up in the middle of the night, and wakes the second guy up.
Guy 1: "Hey, look up, what do you see?"
Guy 2: "I see stars"
Guy 1: "Yeah, and what do you think that means?"
Guy 2: "Well, considering how many stars I see, there is a good chance that somewhere out there in the world, there is some other life form for us to discover."
Guy 1: "No you idiot, it means someone stole our tent!"

Afraid your kid might be a c**...?

Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag.

When I see stars I think of you...

Because you're only beautiful from a distance.

The following is a tourist's review of Tatooine:

"I was way too hot, two stars."

After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."

Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.

And now, two guys bonding over their star sign as well as a short summary of The Fault in out Stars

"Cancer?"
"Cancer."

Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day?

After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space

I told my girlfriend she has eyes like stars...

Very dim and far apart.

I just got my best score on Sitar Hero 3!

I got five stars on "Curry On My Wayward Son"

Note to self: Never make my password a bunch of little stars.

That would be too much of an asterisk.

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.
"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"

Love

Girl: what do you think of our love
Me: count the stars
Girl: awww.... its infinite
Me: no, its a waste of time.

Can I press indecent exposure charges against stars?

Because today the sun mooned me.

If the cops were asked to rate a GTA game...

They'd give it 5 stars.

Camping.

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set-up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father- "Look up to the sky and tell me what you see."
Son- "I see millions of stars."
Father- "And what does that tell you?"
Son- "Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets."
Father slaps the son hard and says- "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent"

What's the difference between "To Catch a Predator" and Harvey Weinstein?

One stars molesters, while the other molests stars.

I had a really chatty Uber driver today...

He kept saying stuff like, "Who are you and why are you in my car?" and "Please get out or I'll call the cops."
5 stars.

Why did Kevin Spacey go to space?

To m**... young stars.

I went to a restaurant on the summit of Mt. Everest.

I give it 3 stars. Food was good, not much atmosphere though.

"Dad, how do stars die?"

– Usually an overdose.

What do you call a movie with 3.14 stars?

Pirated

By all means shoot for the stars

Just aim for their bodyguards first

"Hey, can you help me sharpen these throwing stars?"

"Shuriken"

I went to see a stage performer that does live sacrifices of celebrities during his act

I gave him 5 stars.

A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.

"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."

"Mom, why is my sister named Star?"

"Because your dad loves stars honey."
"Oh, thanks mom."
"No problem, Richard."

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself…

Where the f*c**... is my roof?

Tell a person there's a million stars in the sky and he'll believe you.

But tell a person that the bench is freshly painted and he'll touch it just to make sure.

Why did the starship captain buy a sub-lightspeed propulsion system that he didn't need?

It was an impulse purchase.
For anyone who isn't aware, this is a star trek fathers day joke.

The heaviest things in the universe

3 - Neutron stars
2 - Black holes
1 - The collective weight of the people who thought this was a yo momma joke

I was really disappointed when I came last in the astronomy competition, but they still gave me a map of the stars just for participating.

It was a constellation prize

What do stars and false teeth have in common?

They both come out at night.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are camped in the woods while investigating a case.

They go to sleep. Several hours later, Holmes wakes Watson. He says, "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson says, "Well, I see thousands of stars."
"And what does that tell you?"
"Well, I think it means that we'll have another nice day tomorrow. How about you?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

Think of a dark future where humanity has to take to the stars because earth is no longer inhabitable.

That's unsettling

(Dark) What do you call depressed American kids?

Shooting stars

You're eyes are like the stars!

Not because they twinkle, they just are so far apart.

Orion's belt is a big waist of space

Okay, I'm sorry, that was a terrible joke. Only three stars.

I gave that movie 3.14 stars!

Cause I pi-rated it.

Yesterday i was laying in my bed, looking at the stars...

And I thought "huh, where'd the roof go?"

Ladies. If your man is giving you both the moon and stars

You should be willing to sacrifice uranus

A man was helping his friend clean out his garage.

He noticed an amazing looking belt in the garbage can. It was black, with numerous stars and galaxies etched into it in intricate detail.
"Why are you throwing this out?" He asked.
His friend replied, "It is just such a waist of space."

Stars joke, A man was helping his friend clean out his garage.

jokes about stars

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these stars jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.