Staring Contest Jokes
33 staring contest jokes and hilarious staring contest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about staring contest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Staring Contest Short Jokes
Short staring contest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The staring contest humour may include short staring jokes also.
- My dad was so Competitive that on his death bed, as he breathed his last He said, "Staring contest... GO."
- I was in a long staring contest with the sun. Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.
- Whenever my Dad and I disagree, we settle it with a staring contest. Then we see eye to eye.
- I had a staring contest with the sun and I won! The sun must've blinked since there doesn't seem to be any light anymore!
- Remember the two friends who got the world record for longest staring contest? Yeah? Well turns out they aren't seeing eye to eye anymore.
- No one competes against Tom in staring contests anymore. He's a cheat... ...he uses stareoids.
- Chuck Norris beat his father in a staring contest when he was still a glint in his father's eye.
- I win most of my staring contests... ... because my opponents usually don't know they're playing.
- Why did the Chinese lady s**... at staring contests? Because she lost her eyes in a car c**... 3 years ago.
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Staring Contest One Liners
Which staring contest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with staring contest? I can suggest the ones about stares and beauty contest.
- I had a staring contest with the sun I think I won, all I see is darkness now.
- In America, we hold staring contests. In Asia, they squint.
- People competing in a staring contest... ..could lose it in the blink of an eye.
- I've been reading up a lot on staring contest strategies. It's really opened my eyes.
- I'm hosting a staring contest next week. If you're interested keep your eyes open.
- Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture.
And Won. - I beat this guy in a staring contest in the blink of an eye
- Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
- Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
- Yo mama is so s**..., she had a staring contest with a Ford Focus.
Staring Contest Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about staring contest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog staring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make staring contest pranks.
The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"
Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.
The day on which the paper announced the contest winner finally arrived! I scanned, and then carefully read the full-page of submissions, but the truth stared me in the face. Of my submissions that should have won, no pun in ten did.
My grandpa was very competitive...
My grandpa was so competitive with me and would always try to win any game we played. Baseball. Soccer. Even who could eat the most corn dogs.
But I'll never forget his last words to me as he was about to pass away, he look at me wide eyes and with his last breath he said…
… staring contest, go!
Beer CEOs walk into a bar...
The CEOs of Budweiser, Guinness, Coors, and Miller all walk into a bar after a beer-tasting contest. The CEO of Budweiser steps up to the bar and says: "I'll have a Budweiser, the King of Beers!" The Coors CEO says: "I'll have a Coors, the beer as cool as the Rockies!" The Miller CEO says, in turn: "I'll have the good ol' taste of a triple-hops brewed Miller!" The CEO of Guinness ponders for a moment and says to the bartender: "Oh, I'll just have a Coke." Bewildered, the other 3 CEOs stare and ask why he didn't order a beer. The Guinness CEO shrugged and said "Well, if you weren't ordering beer, I didn't think I would either".
The turtle
There was a lion in the jungle who was getting very bored and very evil. So because he was the king he started a contest with his old friend turle. The contest stated- whoever makes turtle laugh first does not have to suffer death. So he had all his subjects line up in front of turtle. The first in line was zebra, he told the funniest joke the kingdom had hearf in centuries, even lion laughed a little. But turtle stared him in the eye mercilessly and without emotion. The lion looked at zebra and said sorry, rules are rules so he killed him and fed zebra to the hyenas. Then giraffe came and told an equally funny joke to which turtle didnt respond. So he died a terrible death as well. This went on for weeks and weeks and turtle would not laugh. When finally the only animals left were the lion, the turtle, and the hyenas. So lion told the hyenas, bring me your best jokester and we will finish this contest. So the hyenas brought their best comic and he told his joke. The turtles eyes widened he looked at lion and said ha...haha....hahahahahahahahaha! I just got the zebras joke.