Starbucks Jokes

What are some Starbucks jokes?

TIL America has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined.

Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of 0 museums.

Coughy Filter Joke

The barista at Starbucks was wearing a face mask.

Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?

She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter.

I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name.

This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee.

I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".

I didn't bother leaving a tip.

I heard Starbucks is trying to hire a lot more refugees

Those poor art majors are going to suffer, then

My friends that majored in English always tell me the same thing

Welcome to Starbucks!

What currency do they use in space?

Starbucks

What's long and white?

The line to Starbucks.

How do aliens pay for their coffees?

With Starbucks!

I told my girlfriend to wear her Starbucks uniform so we can roleplay during sex

She got my name wrong.

I was in the queue at Starbucks this morning.

The man getting served in front of me, asked for a mocha. "Sorry sir, but we're out of mochas". The guy was fuming "I have a mocha every morning when I come in here!", he raged, "I'll just have to have a latte!". He went and sat down.

I went to the counter and said "I'll have a large latte too, please". They asked me for my name. I asked why they needed it and they told me that they'd write it on my cup and shout it when it was ready.

So I told them my name was Mocha.

So, a cheerleader walks into a Starbucks...

and shouts, "gimme a tea!"

John robbed some coffee from Starbucks the other day.

The police are charging him for mugging.

I made a Starbucks barista cry

I put my name down as Dad and he stood there calling it over and over again with no reply.

An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks

and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

Judge threw out a lawsuit against Starbucks

said the Plaintiff had no grounds.

What do aliens use for currency?

Starbucks!

All men are lesbians

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "are you a real pilot?"

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

What do you order at Starbucks when you're sad?

A desspresso

I bought a new car recently.

I got it for a great deal. Oscar Mayer Weiner was going under so they sold me one of their weenie vans. I was really excited so I drove it around town to show off. I pulled up to a Starbucks because I was thirsty and as I was parking I saw the most beautiful girl in the world. She watched me park and smiled as I walked over to her.

I introduced my self and we just started talking. She looked amazing, I complimented her on her dress. This led to a nice conversation about fashion. I began talking about this vest I recently bought at an estate sale. She seemed really interested and said, "We should set up a date, and maybe I can see you in the vest." I excitedly replied, "That would be amazing!"

Things were looking great until she said, "On one condition. You don't pick me up in the hot dog car." Well this upset me greatly and I wasn't sure how to respond. I thought about it for a moment and then I said, "If you can't handle me in my wurst you don't deserve me in my vest."

starbucks is like a hooker...

one on every corner and money upfront before they scream your name

That awkward moment...

...when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring...and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod.

What's the best thing about having a girlfriend who is addicted to Starbucks?

You'll never forget her name.

Day 329 without sex

I went to Starbucks just so that I could hear someone scream my name....

What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?

Half calf

At a Starbucks job interview

"What is your name?"
-Alyssa
"Could you spell that, please?"
-L A R I S S A
"When can you start?!"

So, today I found out that Starbucks coffee is an 8 on the ph scale

I guess that you could say all of those white girls are basic.

My brother just finished his doctorals

So he went to Starbucks to celebrate.

The cashier said. "What would you like sir?"

"I would like an espresso please" my brother replied.

"Okay sir, I just need your name." The cashier said.

"It's Stephen" My brother replied.

"With a 'ph'?" The cashier asked.

My brother then replied. "No, it's Stephen, with a PhD"

Go to Starbucks

- Order Coffee

- Tell them your name is Waldo

- Leave

Police on lookout for Starbucks thief

Suspect is still at veinte

What size coffee do Bishops order at Starbucks?

Grande

I saw that pastor from Aretha Franklin's funeral at Starbucks again

He was just grabbing a Grande.

Bill Maher- Did you hear what happened at Starbucks?

They ordered two blacks to go.

I told my first date to meet me at Starbucks because I forgot her name

But the date went horribly wrong since Starbucks got her name wrong.

I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake.....

I said to the man "wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"

I ordered two tall blacks at Starbucks yesterday.

But they were taken away by the police.

If a white girl goes to starbucks and doesn't post a picture on instagram, did she really go to starbucks at all?

Overheard at Starbucks:

Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte?

Woman: No. Since Trump came on the scene I am boycotting everything orange.

The Starbucks in my town just hired a Jewish barista...

He brews.

I like my women the way I like Starbucks

I just can't afford either

What's the difference between Starbucks and a prostitute?

Nothing, they both suck and will empty your wallet!

Starbucks makes a drastic move to their menu to improve community relations

Patrons may no longer order black coffee.

Excuse me, there's a large rat in your restroom.

Me: Excuse me, there's a large rat in your restroom.

Starbucks Employee: I'm sorry, what was that?

Me, leaning in: I said there's a large rat in your restroom.

Starbucks Employee: I'm sorry dear, I didn't quite get that.

People In the Store: *Look at me like I'm an idiot*

Me: *sigh* There's a *VENTI* rat in your restroom!

I was feeling really down the other day so decided to give myself a coffee enema

It worked a treat, but the manager of Starbucks was livid.

Trivia: If you stood every single Starbucks employee around the equator...

I would totally steal a white chocolate and raspberry muffin.

Why did the lead singer of Drowning Pool lose his job at Starbucks?

HE LET BISCOTTI HIT THE FLOOR


Hunters should always know what's behind their target

Behind mine is a Sam's Club and a Starbucks

Bert Kreischer coffee black joke

Starbucks Barista - How would you like your coffee?
ME - Handcuffed for nothing & taken to jail.

(I like my coffee like I like my men. Black and wrongly accused based only on that.)

A girl missed out on a quiz because she stopped at Starbucks for a coffee

She was Latte to the class

What kind of exercise do you do after drinking too much Starbucks?

Pilates.

A White, American, college age female walks into a starbucks...

She doesn't order anything.

When asking a basic white girl if she wants some Starbucks, the short answer will always be "yas"

The long answer is probably going to be "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas"

What do birds order when they go to Starbucks?

Flappaccinos.

Have you heard the joke about Oprah's new line at Starbucks?

It's a warm, comforting, medium-dark roast.

(real news) Select Starbucks stores have been offering customers the option of adding carbonation to their drinks.

In response, Dunkin' Donuts is offering customers the option of having an employee make motorboat noises into their coffee.

What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

starbucks

Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex...

You know you're going to get some, but it's going to be rough.

What will Steve rogers say to order a drink at starbucks

An iced americano for an iced americano

What did the hipster say when a Starbucks opened in his neighbourhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!

An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

What's the pH of a Starbucks Frappuccino?

I'm not sure of the exact number, all I know is that it's *very* basic.

I like my women like I like my Starbucks order...

A dry flat white :/

I ask starbucks to write Ari as my name on every cup

That way i can say its 'Ari on a Grande'

I'm not a fan of Starbucks new racial bias training

I just got thrown out for ordering a black coffee

What does the fox say when ordering at Starbucks?

Hot tea, hot tea, hot tea, ho!

I was out by Starbucks today and saw a woman taking a picture of her food. she was there for 45 minutes trying to get the perfect angle,

Then I realized I just started at a woman from across the room for 45 minutes.

Starbucks can't be racist.

Almost every drink they serve is black or mixed.

Starbucks staff are so lazy

I only asked for a small coffee and they said "that's a tall order."

How to make Starbucks jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Starbucks to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Starbucks? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Starbucks pick up lines to share with friends.

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