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Starbucks Coffee Jokes

69 starbucks coffee jokes and hilarious starbucks coffee puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about starbucks coffee that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Starbucks Coffee Short Jokes

Short starbucks coffee jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The starbucks coffee humour may include short starbucks barista jokes also.

  1. Coughy Filter Joke The barista at starbucks was wearing a face mask.
    Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
    She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter.
  2. This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee. I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".
    I didn't bother leaving a tip.
  3. Did you hear about the Starbucks no-mask deal? Mask-less customers who buy a Grande hot coffee today... Will get a free Venti later
  4. John robbed some coffee from Starbucks the other day. The police are charging him for mugging.
  5. My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He's Costa-phobic.
  6. I told the woman in Starbucks to make a coffee for my girlfriend. "How strong?"
    "Well," I replied. "I could definitely take her in a fight."
  7. So, today I found out that Starbucks coffee is an 8 on the ph scale I guess that you could say all of those white girls are basic.
  8. even though coffee is more acidic, all Starbucks coffee products have a pH of 14 Extremely basic
  9. I got fired from Starbucks for making coffee too dark. They said it was grounds for termination.
  10. I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake..... I said to the man "wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"

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Starbucks Coffee One Liners

Which starbucks coffee one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with starbucks coffee? I can suggest the ones about barista coffee and strong coffee.

  1. How do aliens pay for their coffees? With Starbucks!
  2. Why is Starbuck's coffee so high on the pH scale? It's the most basic drink there is.
  3. Go to Starbucks - Order Coffee
    - Tell them your name is Waldo
    - Leave
  4. What size coffee do Bishops order at Starbucks? Grande
  5. I like my firstborn son like I like my coffee. Made behind the counter at Starbucks.
  6. I paid for a coffee in Starbucks earlier I've no idea how much it was in Earth money
  7. What do the zodiac signs use to pay for coffee? Starbucks
  8. Where does an astronaut get coffee? Starbucks
  9. What do aliens use to buy their coffee? starbucks
  10. Where do Martians get their coffee from? Starbucks.
    I'm sorry.
  11. What's the Biblical equivalent to Starbucks? Hebrews Coffee
  12. How do astronauts pay for coffee? With starbucks.
  13. I ordered a tall blonde at Starbucks but all I got was this coffee...
  14. If EA owned Starbucks... They'd give you the coffee and tell you to build your own cup.
  15. What coffee does Bill Clinton order from Starbucks? Ariana Grande.

Howlingly Hilarious Starbucks Coffee Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about starbucks coffee you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean starbucks name jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make starbucks coffee pranks.

Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.

All men are l**...

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about n**... women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about n**... women. When I shower, I think about n**... women. When I watch TV, I think about n**... women. It seems everything makes me think of n**... women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "are you a real pilot?"
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

I saw a homeless man sleeping inside a big cardboard box outside the train station this morning.


Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.
He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you."
"No problem." I smiled.
He looked at me again and said, "It's empty."
I said, "I know, it's meant to be a chimney."

(real news) Select Starbucks stores have been offering customers the option of adding carbonation to their drinks.

In response, Dunkin' Donuts is offering customers the option of having an employee make motorboat noises into their coffee.

In the window of a bar in Philadelphia

Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even.

How did Moses make get his coffee?

He went to Starbucks.

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

You never have to worry about Starbucks running short on coffee.

I hear they always have a latte

Mum: Do you think Starbucks will accept this old coffee coupon?

Dad: It's worth a shot.

I tried washing my coffee maker today

Now I'm no longer allowed in Starbucks unless the barista has the restraining order removed.

Today i went to starbucks

I got in and ordered a large coffee with milk, and the dude looked at me like i was a lunatic

Starbucks staff are so lazy

I only asked for a small coffee and they said "that's a tall order."

From my 7 year old daughter, this morning: Dad, why was the Starbucks lady blushing?

A: Because the coffee was *soooo* hot!

I was feeling really down the other day so decided to give myself a coffee e**...

It worked a treat, but the manager of Starbucks was livid.

Starbucks makes a drastic move to their menu to improve community relations

Patrons may no longer order black coffee.

I'm not a fan of Starbucks new racial bias training

I just got thrown out for ordering a black coffee

Instead of going to Starbucks..

I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.

Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for s**......

You know you're going to get some, but it's going to be rough.

Despite it getting colder, Starbucks doesn't sell as much hot coffee this time of year

It's because in no-nut November, nobody orders fappucinos.

Taking coffee order for family I'm visiting, buying everyone Starbucks, asked my mom how she like her coffee, she likes her coffee like she likes her slaves..

Free.

A girl missed out on a quiz because she stopped at Starbucks for a coffee

She was Latte to the class

Bert Kreischer coffee black joke

Starbucks Barista - How would you like your coffee?
ME - Handcuffed for nothing & taken to jail.
(I like my coffee like I like my men. Black and wrongly accused based only on that.)

Coffee Shop

I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to pass gas.
The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my b**... trumpet to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.
I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me.
I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod with earbuds.

Starbucks has starting to offer free drinks during funerals

They acknowledged the need for mourning coffees

Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your n**... body helps prevent cellulite.

Apparently you can't do it in Starbucks.
And now the cops are here…..

A customer walks up to a barista at Starbucks

They are not a huge coffee drinker so they ask the barista what's your mildest roast? The barista thinks about it for a moment and says you have mediocre ears.

I saw a homeless man sleeping outside the train station this morning.

Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.
He immediately woke up and said, Thank you.
No problem. I smiled.
He looked at me again and said, It's empty.
I said, I know, it's meant to be a chimney.

I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to f**....

The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me. I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod (with ear piece)

i was in Jerusalem for a holiday

Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land.
From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found.
Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said simply:
Hebrews.

jokes about starbucks coffee