Star Jokes

Following is our collection of stellar humor and environmentally one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Star puns for adults, dirty starry jokes or clean four star general gags for kids.

There is an abundance of superstar jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 79 funniest jokes on star. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any star trek witze you can hear about star.

The Best jokes about Star

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons.

If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

Why haven't Aliens visited our Solar System yet? ...

They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star.

What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?

An envelope.

I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars.

She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.


I've just started to read a horror novel in braille.

Something bad is gonna happen. I can feel it.

Why were the star wars movies released 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8

In charge of planning Yoda was

Why haven't aliens come to our solar system?

They checked our reviews.

One star.

Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

Terrible ratings. One star.

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon

They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window...

If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in...


I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago.

Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D...

... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was

My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...

...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.

I started a club for guys with erectile dysfuntion

It was a total flop. Nobody came.


What starts with a 't' ends with a 't' and is full of 't' ?

A teapot.

When do you start on red and stop on green?

When you're eating a watermelon!

Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.

If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

Can you kill someone with a throwing star?

Shuriken.

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews.. only 1 star

how do you starve a black person?

the same way you would a white person.... you racist.

I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...

On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had sex. I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.

Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen…

I can feel it…

I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

I started calling my toilet the "Jim"...

instead of the John.

It sounds much better when I say that I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

I've started a business crafting small figurines of Jesus.

I'm only making a little prophet.

I started a boat business in the attic.

The sails are going through the roof

I'm starting to think this country really is run by Jews

But it's still only my first week in Israel.

Why were the Star Wars movies made in the order 4,5,6,1,2,3?

In charge of production, Yoda was.

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year...

All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.

I am starting a charity to teach short people maths.

It's called making the little things count.

My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically.

He was mauled by a giant crab.

I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few months ago.

After that my mugging attempts have been very successful

I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area.

I'm making little things count.

I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds!

The only problem is I'm British...

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

My partner and I can never agree on vacations.

I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me.

Why did Star Wars episode 4,5,6 came before 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.

I'm starting to hate the U.S. government

The NSA appears to be the only department which listens

I went online and rated our Solar System

Gave it one star.

My review of our solar system

1 Star.

If I ever start to go bald

I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare

Don't stare at a glass of water

Take a pitcher it'll last longer

You better start brushing your teeth, son!

Oral-B very mad!

What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise?

The captain's log.

I started downloading Jaws the other day

But after one megabyte, my computer died.

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.

Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?


Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.


Me: Divorce is strong with this one.

"I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you."

"That's so sweet."

"Not particularly. It was daytime."

I saw God write a review about our solar system a while ago

he didn't explain why he gave it a one star tho

When I see stars I think of you...

Because you're only beautiful from a distance.

A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..."

"That she was killed by a giant crab."

I started a band call 999 megabytes

We haven't got a gig yet.

I started a camp for kids with ADHD but nobody showed up.

I guess calling it Concentration Camp was a bad idea.

I started 2016 with a goal to lose 20 pounds

Only 30 more to go and I'm there!

Started teaching my son and his friends Karate...

I'm not qualified I just really enjoy kicking children.

I listened to All Star so many times it gave me tinnitus.

Now, my ears start humming and they don't stop humming.

I started a Chinese-Nazi Facebook page

so far its got three reichs

I just started practicing some speed reading techniques. Last night I read "War and Peace" in about 10 seconds.

I know it's only 3 words but it's a start!

I started carrying a gun after being involved in an attempted robbery a few months ago.

Ever since, my robberies have been going a whole lot better.

There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang...

This joke has been removed.

Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.

To desire more is greed.

What starts with M, ends with E and can bring two people eternal happiness?

Me, I'm a divorce lawyer

I tried to start an online bakery.

But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.

I'm starting a business....

I'm gonna do math tutoring, but solely for midgets. I'm calling it Making The Little Things Count.

Marriage Counseling

Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage?

Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns.

Husband: Divorce is strong with this one.

I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth

I never realized just how much blood I was eating

Me: *staring at Medusa's boobs*

Medusa: "Hey buddy, my eyes are up here."

Me: *already rock hard*

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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