The Best 86 Star Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Star jokes. There are some star environmentally jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these star four star general puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Star Jokes and Puns

Why haven't Aliens visited our Solar System yet? ...

They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star.

What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?

An envelope.

I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars.

She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.

Star joke, I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars.

I've just started to read a horror novel in braille.

Something bad is gonna happen. I can feel it.

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.


I've started a business crafting small figurines of Jesus.

I'm only making a little prophet.

Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas.

Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

Star joke, Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas.

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago.

Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise?

The captain's log.

I started a club for guys with erectile dysfuntion

It was a total flop. Nobody came.

I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few months ago.

After that my mugging attempts have been very successful

You can explore star stellar reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean star starry dad jokes. There are also star puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...

On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had sex. I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.

how do you starve a black person?

the same way you would a white person.... you racist.

Started teaching my son and his friends Karate...

I'm not qualified I just really enjoy kicking children.

Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.

If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.

Star joke, Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.

"I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you."

"That's so sweet."

"Not particularly. It was daytime."

My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.

Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?

Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.

Me: Divorce is strong with this one.

My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D...

... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.


The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

I'm starting to hate the U.S. government

The NSA appears to be the only department which listens

A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...

...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

I started a band call 999 megabytes

We haven't got a gig yet.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window...

If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in...

There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang...

This joke has been removed.

Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.

To desire more is greed.

My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

I started 2016 with a goal to lose 20 pounds

Only 30 more to go and I'm there!

A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..."

"That she was killed by a giant crab."

I started downloading Jaws the other day

But after one megabyte, my computer died.

I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area.

I'm making little things count.

If I ever start to go bald

I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare

When I see stars I think of you...

Because you're only beautiful from a distance.

Why were the star wars movies released 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8

In charge of planning Yoda was

You better start brushing your teeth, son!

Oral-B very mad!

I just started practicing some speed reading techniques. Last night I read "War and Peace" in about 10 seconds.

I know it's only 3 words but it's a start!

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen…

I can feel it…

I went online and rated our Solar System

Gave it one star.

I started a boat business in the attic.

The sails are going through the roof

I'm starting to think this country really is run by Jews

But it's still only my first week in Israel.

When do you start on red and stop on green?

When you're eating a watermelon!

My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically.

He was mauled by a giant crab.

I started calling my toilet the "Jim"...

instead of the John.

It sounds much better when I say that I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons.

If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

I started a Chinese-Nazi Facebook page

so far its got three reichs

I listened to All Star so many times it gave me tinnitus.

Now, my ears start humming and they don't stop humming.

Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

Terrible ratings. One star.

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

I started carrying a gun after being involved in an attempted robbery a few months ago.

Ever since, my robberies have been going a whole lot better.

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?

Popcorn

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon

They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

Don't stare at a glass of water

Take a pitcher it'll last longer

My review of our solar system

1 Star.

Can you kill someone with a throwing star?

Shuriken.

I saw God write a review about our solar system a while ago

he didn't explain why he gave it a one star tho

I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year...

All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.

I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds!

The only problem is I'm British...

Just found out Chuck Norris had a cameo in Star Wars...

he played The Force

I am starting a charity to teach short people maths.

It's called making the little things count.

Why haven't aliens come to our solar system?

They checked our reviews.

One star.

My partner and I can never agree on vacations.

I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me.

I started a camp for kids with ADHD but nobody showed up.

I guess calling it Concentration Camp was a bad idea.

What starts with a 't' ends with a 't' and is full of 't' ?

A teapot.

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They checked the reviews.. only 1 star

What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

Envelope

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

Who swore the most in star wars?

R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said

What starts with O, ends with N I O N S, and makes Americans cry?

Opinions

It's just started raining really hard and all my wife is doing is standing at the window looking sad...

If it gets any stronger I'll have to let her in

Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife.

Ella wasn't great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.

I started dating a girl who loves soccer

She's a keeper

I'm starting to not like the Middle East.

The plot's too confusing and I can't connect with any of the characters.

How do stars die?

They usually overdose

I've started to spread the word about the benefits of dried grapes

I'm just raisin awareness

TIL Texas is called the lone star state

because it was the minimum allowed in a 5 star rating system

Why is Texas called The Lone Star State?

To warn you about their Yelp rating….

What do toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons!



Happy Star Trek day

It started to rain suddenly so I lent this attractive young woman my umbrella.

That takes the total number of hot girls I have made wet this year to minus one.

Yo Mama so fat

If she were in Star Wars she would be Admiral Snackbar

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the star superstar jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working star star trek piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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