Star Jokes
152 star jokes and hilarious star puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about star that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best of rock star, pop star, and Patrick Star jokes - laugh out loud at these stellar puns and reviews from the Expendables. From the serious to the truly offbeat, these jokes deliver the perfect punchline!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Star Short Jokes
Short star jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The star humour may include short planet jokes also.
- Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney world and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.
- Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system yet? ... They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star. - My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after star wars characters... My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
- The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?
- The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store. But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new stars. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.
- Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie! They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.
- Neil Degrasse Tyson and mike tyson have something common... I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.
- Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes
Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work - My 8 year old told me a really clever joke for once. What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?
A Star-Spangled Banner. - A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."
Share These Star Jokes With Friends
Star One Liners
Which star one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with star? I can suggest the ones about orbit and spot.
- Why were the star wars movies released 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8 In charge of planning Yoda was
- Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plan? The Jedi Code forbids attachments.
- My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D... ... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.
- My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
- Son: Dad, how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, usually.
- Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7.
- Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 stars at best.
- Who swore the most in star wars? R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said
- Why is Texas called the Lone Star state? Because of all the one-star reviews
- Texas is the Lone Star state. Of course, that's out of a possible 5 stars.
- "Hey, can you help me sharpen these throwing stars?" "Shuriken"
- Just found out chuck norris had a cameo in Star Wars... he played The Force
- Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2 Save up to $2160 by not buying it
- I went online and rated our Solar System Gave it one star.
- My review of our solar system 1 Star.
Star Wars Jokes
Here is a list of funny star wars jokes and even better star wars puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Who plays Han Solo in the norwegian version of Star Wars? Harrison Fjord!
- JUST ANNOUNCED: Disney in talks of a Star Wars - Back to the Future crossover where Marty flies so far back in time (long, long ago) that he fuses with his car He becomes the ManDeLorean
- What is the scariest planet in Star Wars? Na-BOO!
- Dad: Your a Star Wars droid. Son: Am not! Dad: Artoo!
- What's the most powerful Star Card in Star Wars Battlefront II? Your credit card.
- What do you call a Star Wars themed all you can eat restaurant? Bo-buffet
- Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films Because you know what they say about old habits...
- Star wars dad joke heard tonight Dad "Chewbacca seems kinda big for an ewok..."
Me "he's a wookie. "
Dad "he can't be, he's been in lots of movies now." - A farmhand loses both his farm and his hand after getting into a fight with his dad over politics... ...would be a really bad but accurate way to describe the plot of Star Wars.
- I want to find a girlfriend who's into Star Wars I've been looking for love in Alderaan places.
Movie Star Jokes
Here is a list of funny movie star jokes and even better movie star puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call it when there's a movie about the Guardians of the Galaxy before they met Star-Lord? A pre-Quill.
- I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5 It was a pi rated DVD
- I once was asked to star in a movie for a million dollars but I declined. I don't have that much money.
- In honor of Father's day, a dad joke There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
He'll be Bach - I gave that movie 3.14 stars! Cause I pi-rated it.
- What do you call a movie with 3.14 stars? Pirated
- The Last Jedi was really good Definitely in my top 10 Star Wars movies
- What's the difference between Mike Myers and Michael Myers? Michael Myers starred in a successful movie in the last decade.
- I hear the new Predator movie will star.. Kevin Spacey.
- TIL the next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span. Its name is 80-HD
Star Trek Jokes
Here is a list of funny star trek jokes and even better star trek puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek? A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.
Credits: my bud - Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek? Dad: Cause it's the future son
- Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek? Because it's the future
- I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca... It was a Wookie mistake
- Where do Star Trek fans work out? At the He's Dead Gym.
- I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor. The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
- I'm a guy who's into Star Wars, Star Trek and Doctor Who. Can you guess what I'm not into right now? A woman.
- I can't decide between Star Trek popsicles or a Star Trek ice cube mold.. both choices have their frozen Khans.
- Q. Why does this Star Trek uniform stink? A. William Shatner
- My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships. And here I thought he believed in free Enterprise.
Star Sign Jokes
Here is a list of funny star sign jokes and even better star sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Man Goes To His Doctor Doctor: Pick a star sign. Any star sign
Man: Alright, i choose Capricorn
Doctor: Nah you got Cancer - I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
- I was at the doctors and he said pick a star sign I said Gemini,he said nah you have cancer
- And now, two guys bonding over their star sign as well as a short summary of The Fault in out Stars "Cancer?"
"Cancer." - What star sign are you? "I'm a contrarian."
"That's not a star sign."
"YES IT IS!" - I don't believe in star signs but that's me... typical capricorn!
- What's Jade Goody's Star Sign? Cancer
- Rumor has it Tom Hanks just signed a deal to star in a sequel to one of his greatest 80s blockbusters. Big, if true.
- So I walked into he doctor's office He said : Pick a star sign any star sign.
I said : Capricorn
And he said : Nah you got cancer - Star sign Doctor: Choose a star sign.
Patient: Capricorn.
Doctor: Too bad you got cancer
Rock Star Jokes
Here is a list of funny rock star jokes and even better rock star puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was arguing with a guy at a bar who said he was a big rock star in the 80's I didn't believe him, but he was Adamant.
- What rock star is headlining at the annual Fanfiction Convention? Slash
- Why do Rock Stars wear mascara? 200% more volume.
- Oh man, I just heard my favorite Rock Star was in an accident and lost his entire left leg! At least he isn't retiring from music though, just switching to Hip Hop.
- Why did the rock star fail his depressing math exam? He couldn't get the saddest fraction.
- Why do rock stars get married? So one day, they can give half of their money to one lucky fan.
- Who's the most clapped rock star? Eric CLAPton.
- What type of AIDS do Rock Stars get? BAND AIDS!
- The Rock is starring in a film adaptation of the video game *Rampage* In related news, Kevin Spacey is in the Paperboy.
- What do rock stars do when their clothes catch fire? They stop, rock and roll
Charming Humor Star Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about star you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sphere jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make star pranks.
What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?
An envelope.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my girlfriend we can either have s**..., or go see Star Wars.
She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.
I've just started to read a horror novel in braille.
Something bad is gonna happen. I can feel it.
I've started a business crafting small figurines of Jesus.
I'm only making a little prophet.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago.
Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise?
The captain's log.
I started a club for guys with erectile dysfuntion
It was a total flop. Nobody came.
I started an emo salsa band
We're called Hispanic at the Disco
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...
On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had s**.... I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Started teaching my son and his friends Karate...
I'm not qualified I just really enjoy k**... children.
Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.
If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.
"I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you."
"That's so sweet."
"Not particularly. It was daytime."
My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.
Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?
Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.
Me: Divorce is strong with this one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm starting to hate the U.S. government
The NSA appears to be the only department which listens
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A s**... has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...
...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.
I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .
. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?
There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang...
This joke has been removed.
Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.
To desire more is greed.
I started downloading Jaws the other day
But after one megabyte, my computer died.
I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area.
I'm making little things count.
If I ever start to go bald
I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare
When I see stars I think of you...
Because you're only beautiful from a distance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You better start brushing your teeth, son!
o**...-B very mad!
I just started practicing some speed reading techniques. Last night I read "War and Peace" in about 10 seconds.
I know it's only 3 words but it's a start!
I started a boat business in the attic.
The sails are going through the roof
When do you start on red and stop on green?
When you're eating a watermelon!
I started calling my toilet the "Jim"...
instead of the John.
It sounds much better when I say that I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.
I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"
What starts with M, ends with E and can bring two people eternal happiness?
Me, I'm a divorce lawyer
I listened to All Star so many times it gave me tinnitus.
Now, my ears start humming and they don't stop humming.
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"
Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"
I started carrying a gun after being involved in an attempted robbery a few months ago.
Ever since, my robberies have been going a whole lot better.
What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?
Popcorn
Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon
They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
Don't stare at a glass of water
Take a pitcher it'll last longer
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Can you kill someone with a throwing star?
Shuriken.
I saw God write a review about our solar system a while ago
he didn't explain why he gave it a one star tho
I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds!
The only problem is I'm British...
I am starting a charity to teach short people maths.
It's called making the little things count.
My partner and I can never agree on vacations.
I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me.
What starts with a 't' ends with a 't' and is full of 't' ?
A teapot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Friend: do you know that o**... who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?
Me: well of course I know him, he is me
What starts with O, ends with N I O N S, and makes Americans cry?
Opinions
It's just started raining really hard and all my wife is doing is standing at the window looking sad...
If it gets any stronger I'll have to let her in
Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife.
Ella wasn't great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.
Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask
I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
I'm going to start a quidditch ball repair shop, staffed entirely with ex-cons from Azkaban.
It'll be called Snitches Get Stitches .
I'm starting a club for night owls.
Who's up for that?
I've started saying mucho to all of my Mexican coworkers.
It means a lot to them.
I've started a business selling prayer mats which are also trampolines...
Prophets are going through the roof.
Nothing starts with an N and ends with a G.
Nothing
What starts with a W, and has 3 letters, but ends with a T
I'm not asking
I just started a diet. Here's a recap of Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house
It was delicious
What starts with an A and makes up everything?
Amber Heard.
I stared intensely as my neighbour removed the red dress, then the bra, then the silk underwear.
"Oo yeah," I whispered to myself, as I looked through my telescope, "you keep emptying that washing machine, baby."
I've just started a new business selling trampolines in Prague
Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.
What starts with W, ends with T and has two letters in between.
Just stating the obvious.
I started a band with friends called 999 Megabytes
Still haven't gotten a Gig though
I started dating a blind girl.
The hardest part was imitating her husband's voice.
What's a computer's favorite pop star?
A Dell
SpongeBob may be the main character in the show…
..but Patrick is the star.
Is it ok for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school?
Or does that make me a bad teacher?
