Star Jokes

152 star jokes and hilarious star puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about star that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the best of rock star, pop star, and Patrick Star jokes - laugh out loud at these stellar puns and reviews from the Expendables. From the serious to the truly offbeat, these jokes deliver the perfect punchline!

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Funniest Star Short Jokes

Short star jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The star humour may include short planet jokes also.

  1. Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney world and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.
  2. Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system yet? ... They looked at the reviews...
    Only 1 star.
  3. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  4. My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after star wars characters... My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
  5. The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?
  6. The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store. But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new stars. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.
  7. Texas is the Lone Star state. Of course, that's out of a possible 5 stars.
  8. Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie! They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.
  9. Neil Degrasse Tyson and mike tyson have something common... I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.
  10. "Daddy, how do stars die?" "Drugs, normally."

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Star One Liners

Which star one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with star? I can suggest the ones about orbit and spot.

  1. Why were the star wars movies released 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8 In charge of planning Yoda was
  2. Why haven't alien come to our solar system? They checked our reviews.
    One star.
  3. Why don't aliens visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.
  4. Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plan? The Jedi Code forbids attachments.
  5. My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D... ... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.
  6. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
  7. Son: Dad, how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, usually.
  8. Can you kill someone with a throwing star? Shuriken.
  9. What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray? HDMI
  10. Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie? It's a perfect 5/7.
  11. Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet? They checked the reviews.. only 1 star
  12. Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 stars at best.
  13. Who swore the most in star wars? R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said
  14. Why is Texas called the Lone Star state? Because of all the one-star reviews
  15. Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Bad joke. Only three stars.

Star Wars Jokes

Here is a list of funny star wars jokes and even better star wars puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
    Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes
    Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work
  • Just found out chuck norris had a cameo in Star Wars... he played The Force
  • Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2 Save up to $2160 by not buying it
  • Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
  • Who plays Han Solo in the Norwegian version of Star Wars? Harrison Fjord!
  • JUST ANNOUNCED: Disney in talks of a Star Wars - Back to the Future crossover where Marty flies so far back in time (long, long ago) that he fuses with his car He becomes the ManDeLorean
  • What is the scariest planet in Star Wars? Na-BOO!
  • Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3 In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.
  • Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun? .
  • My son Anakin loves that I named all of our children after Star Wars characters My daughter Chewbacca, however, is less thrilled.

Movie Star Jokes

Here is a list of funny movie star jokes and even better movie star puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call it when there's a movie about the Guardians of the Galaxy before they met Star-Lord? A pre-Quill.
  • My friend asked me if the next Star Wars movies were going to be in 3D "Yes" I replied "...but they R2D2."
  • I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5 It was a pi rated DVD
  • I once was asked to star in a movie for a million dollars but I declined. I don't have that much money.
  • Star wars dad joke heard tonight Dad "Chewbacca seems kinda big for an ewok..."
    Me "he's a wookie. "
    Dad "he can't be, he's been in lots of movies now."
  • In honor of Father's day, a dad joke There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
    He'll be Bach
  • I gave that movie 3.14 stars! Cause I pi-rated it.
  • What do you call a movie with 3.14 stars? Pirated
  • The Last Jedi was really good Definitely in my top 10 Star Wars movies
  • What's the difference between Mike Myers and Michael Myers? Michael Myers starred in a successful movie in the last decade.
Star joke, What's the difference between Mike Myers and Michael Myers?

Star Trek Jokes

Here is a list of funny star trek jokes and even better star trek puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek? A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.
    Credits: my bud
  • Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek? Dad: Cause it's the future son
  • Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek? Because it's the future
  • I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca... It was a Wookie mistake
  • Where do Star Trek fans work out? At the He's Dead Gym.
  • What do toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons!
    Happy Star Trek day
  • For Star Wars and Star Trek fans A stormtrooper and a red shirt are in a room.
    The stormtrooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot.
    The red shirt dies anyway.
  • I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor. The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
  • I'm a guy who's into Star Wars, Star Trek and Doctor Who. Can you guess what I'm not into right now? A woman.
  • I can't decide between Star Trek popsicles or a Star Trek ice cube mold.. both choices have their frozen Khans.

Star Sign Jokes

Here is a list of funny star sign jokes and even better star sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically. He was mauled by a giant crab.
  • A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..." "That she was killed by a giant crab."
  • My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack.
  • My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died. Mauled to death by a giant crab.
  • My girlfriends star sign My girlfriends star sign is cancer, so it was quite ironic how she died
    She got beaten to death by a giant crab
  • A Man Goes To His Doctor Doctor: Pick a star sign. Any star sign
    Man: Alright, i choose Capricorn
    Doctor: Nah you got Cancer
  • My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died. He got attacked by a giant crab.
  • My grandfathers star sign was cancer which is ironic seeing how he died. He was eaten by a giant crab.
  • I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
  • I was at the doctors and he said pick a star sign I said Gemini,he said nah you have cancer

Rock Star Jokes

Here is a list of funny rock star jokes and even better rock star puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."
  • I was arguing with a guy at a bar who said he was a big rock star in the 80's I didn't believe him, but he was Adamant.
  • What rock star is headlining at the annual Fanfiction Convention? Slash
  • Why do Rock Stars wear mascara? 200% more volume.
  • Oh man, I just heard my favorite Rock Star was in an accident and lost his entire left leg! At least he isn't retiring from music though, just switching to Hip Hop.
  • Why did the rock star fail his depressing math exam? He couldn't get the saddest fraction.
  • Why do rock stars get married? So one day, they can give half of their money to one lucky fan.
  • Who's the most clapped rock star? Eric CLAPton.
  • What type of AIDS do Rock Stars get? BAND AIDS!
  • The Rock is starring in a film adaptation of the video game *Rampage* In related news, Kevin Spacey is in the Paperboy.
Star joke, The Rock is starring in a film adaptation of the video game *Rampage*

Charming Humor Star Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about star you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sphere jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make star pranks.

What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?

An envelope.

I told my girlfriend we can either have s**..., or go see Star Wars.

She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.

I've just started to read a horror novel in braille.

Something bad is gonna happen. I can feel it.

I've started a business crafting small figurines of Jesus.

I'm only making a little prophet.

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago.

Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

I started a club for guys with erectile dysfuntion

It was a total flop. Nobody came.

I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few months ago.

After that my mugging attempts have been very successful

I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco

I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...

On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had s**.... I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.

how do you starve a black person?

the same way you would a white person.... you racist.

Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.

If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.

I'm starting to hate the U.S. government

The NSA appears to be the only department which listens

A s**... has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...

...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

I have just started a s**... relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the s**... window...

If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in...

I started teaching Maths to midgets in my area.

I'm making little things count.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen…

I can feel it…

I went online and rated our Solar System

Gave it one star.

I started a boat business in the attic.

The sails are going through the roof

I'm starting to think this country really is run by Jews

But it's still only my first week in Israel.

When do you start on red and stop on green?

When you're eating a watermelon!

I started calling my toilet the "Jim"...

instead of the John.
It sounds much better when I say that I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry?


Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon

They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

My review of our solar system

1 Star.

I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year...

All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.

I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds!

The only problem is I'm British...

I am starting a charity to teach short people maths.

It's called making the little things count.

My partner and I can never agree on vacations.

I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me.

What starts with a 't' ends with a 't' and is full of 't' ?

A teapot.

Friend: do you know that o**... who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

What starts with O, ends with N I O N S, and makes Americans cry?


It's just started raining really hard and all my wife is doing is standing at the window looking sad...

If it gets any stronger I'll have to let her in

TIL Texas is called the lone star state

because it was the minimum allowed in a 5 star rating system

I'm starting to think Jews really do run this country

but don't want to jump to conclusions, this my first time visiting Israel

Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

I'm going to start a quidditch ball repair shop, staffed entirely with ex-cons from Azkaban.

It'll be called Snitches Get Stitches .

What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

Just started my job as an executioner

I'll beheading there soon!

I'm starting a club for night owls.

Who's up for that?

I've started a business selling prayer mats which are also trampolines...

Prophets are going through the roof.

Nothing starts with an N and ends with a G.


What starts with a W, and has 3 letters, but ends with a T

I'm not asking

I just started a diet. Here's a recap of Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house

It was delicious

What starts with an A and makes up everything?

Amber Heard.

The reason that aliens have never visited us is because

The reason that aliens have never visited us is because our solar system has received terrible reviews.
We only have one star.

I stared intensely as my neighbour removed the red dress, then the bra, then the silk underwear.

"Oo yeah," I whispered to myself, as I looked through my telescope, "you keep emptying that washing machine, baby."

i started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt years ago

Since then my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

What starts with T, ends with T, but only has T in ?


I've just started a new business selling trampolines in Prague

Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.

What starts with W, ends with T and has two letters in between.

Just stating the obvious.

I started a band with friends called 999 Megabytes

Still haven't gotten a Gig though

I started dating a blind girl.

The hardest part was imitating her husband's voice.

What's a computer's favorite pop star?

A Dell

SpongeBob may be the main character in the show…

..but Patrick is the star.

Is it ok for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school?

Or does that make me a bad teacher?

Star joke, Is it ok for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school?

jokes about star