The Best 35 Stand Up Comedian Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stand Up Comedian jokes. There are some stand up comedian comedienne jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stand up comedian whoopi puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stand Up Comedian Jokes and Puns

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

A Comedian in Russia.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

I'm halfway through becoming a stand up comedian

I can stand up, now all I need is comedy

I broke up with my girlfriend by text last night, it went pretty ugly...

She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...

When I was a kid, I told everyone that when I grew up, I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. They all laughed.

Well, I got a job doing standup in a comedy club, and no one's laughing now.

I told my mom I wanted to become a stand up comedian.

She laughed.

A Russian stand up comedian was joking about the Putin.

Jokes were good. I liked the execution.

A stand-up comedian tells a joke about a newly-discovered STI that takes ten years to show symptoms.

\* Slow clap *

I quit being a stand up comedian...

Every time I performed people would just laugh at me

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin and communism

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Why didn't the alcoholic became a comedian?

Because he couldn't stand up.

You can explore stand up comedian bill hicks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stand up comedian daniel tosh dad jokes. There are also stand up comedian puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a stand-up comedian.

Well, no one is laughing now.

Did you hear about the paraplegic comedian?

He's great but he doesn't do stand-up.

I once knew a Jehovah's Witness who became a stand-up comedian.

But all he knew was knock knock jokes.

I can't believe my parents support my choice of profession!

I told them that I wanted to become a stand-up comedian.

They laughed at me.

I ALWAYS wanted to be

a stand-up comedian, but I was worried that people would laugh at me.

When Kathy Griffin was 10 years old, she stood up at the dinner table and announced to her family that she was going to grow up and become a stand-up comedian. They all laughed in her face.

No one is laughing now.

Why aren't there any muslim stand-up comedians?

Because they keep bombing.

Not only was Stephen Hawking a great physicist, he was also a great comedian.

Sadly, his stand-up wasn't very good.

A stand-up comedian got in a car accident and his legs got amputated

He's just a comedian now.

A Jedi would make a terrible stand up comedian.

Their jokes would always feel forced...

Have you ever heard of the paralysed man who aspired to become a stand-up comedian?

He figured sitcoms suited him better.

Why couldn't the comedian in a wheelchair get an audience?

He couldn't do Stand Up comedy!

I thought a comedian stole my joke,

but actually he's a real stand-up guy.

I've finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a stand-up comedian

Thank you prosthetic legs!

John Wilkes Booth is one of history's greatest stand-up comedians

I heard he really killed at Ford's Theatre.

What's the best part about being an alcoholic stand-up comedian?

If you're good you get laughs, and if you're bad you get booze.

Told in a stand up act by a real woman comedian with a visible disability of cerebral palsy:

>I believe that you can do anything you want to do in life if you want it bad enough. That's why I'm going to be a brain surgeon!

Geri Jewell, comedian and actress

What do you call an Arab stand-up comedian?


I fell asleep listening to comedians do stand up.

I woke up feeling funny.

Who do they bring in if the stand up comedian dies during the show?

A stand in comedian

I wanted to be a stand-up comedian.

But i realised a sit-down comedian was more comfortable.

Before he was a footballer, Messi used to be a stand-up comedian

He had to quit because his jokes kept flying over the audience's heads.

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad comedian?

He can't do stand-up.

What do you call a stand-up comedian with no legs?

A prop comic

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stand up comedian tough guy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stand up comedian vaudeville piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes