Stance Jokes
36 stance jokes and hilarious stance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stance Short Jokes
Short stance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stance humour may include short aspect jokes also.
- A woman ran screaming into the pro shop at the golf course... "I just got stung by a bee between the first and second hole!"
The guy at the counter said "Your stance is too wide". - Women playing golf goes to doctor She tells the doctor while playing golf a bee stung her between the first hole and the second hole, the doctor replies your stance is to wide
- I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.
- What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns? I think he would be most strict on nail gun control.
(Credit to Taylor on PKA) - It's strange to see all these NASCAR fans upset with NASCAR for taking a progressive stance. Normally they seem to like seeing things turning to the left.
- My girlfriend got into a huge argument with me about a pillow and demanded that I reconsider my stance. I told her that I'd sleep on it.
- What is Hillary Clinton's stance on Islamic State? That depends on what the definition of ISIS.
- Interviewer to Marine Corpsman: "What is your stance on guns?" Corpsman: "Usually behind them"
- Vincent Price's Stance on Abortion "Morally, I'm against it. But if one is happening, I like to watch."
-Bill Hader as Vincent Price on the commentary track for Knocked Up - I just went through airport security and at the Rapiscan I was told to widen my stance and pull up my pants I guess the TSA is afraid of bat wings and sagging
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Stance One Liners
Which stance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stance? I can suggest the ones about strain and pose.
- The Russians official stance on the downed MH17 flight: Donetsk, don't tell.
- What's Pingu's stance on war? Nootral
- The political stance of every aerosol can. Is always going to be pro-pelent.
- What would be a Jew's fighting stance in mortal kombat? Jew jipped you!
- What's your stance on s**... with midgets? Mine's a deep lunge
- The guy behind me in line won't stop moaning. I'm a victim of Sir c**...-stance.
- Why is Hel great in bed? Because she can *switch stances* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Cheerful Fun Stance Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about stance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean step jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stance pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player,
I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, "three wood." I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard "three wood." I looked down and there was a frog at the corner of the tee box, and he was telling me to use my three
wood. I thought it was s**... but I was playing so badly that I thought nothing could hurt me so I took out my three wood. It was a long par four, and I hit the ball straight 250 yards with that three wood. Since the frog seemed to be lucky I picked him up and took him along with me. At the next whole he told me to use my five iron. It was a par three and I got my first hole in one ever. I made a least a birdie on all the rest of the holes, and all I had to do was listen to that frog.
That night I took the frog to the casino in my hotel. We played Roulette. I put my money where the frog said and won on every spin of the wheel. After that I was tired so I went up to bed. I took the frog out of my pocket and put it on the dresser. Suddenly it looked at me and said, "kiss me." Now I wasn't about to kiss a frog, but he said it again. So I kissed the frog and he turned into the most beautiful fourteen year old girl you have ever seen in your entire life. And that your honor is how that fourteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room
A woman returned home from a round of golf.
Her husband asked how it went. She replied, "Well, OK, but I got stung by a bee." He responded, "Where did it sting you?" She said, "Between the first and second hole," whereupon he exclaimed, "I told you your stance was too wide!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The GOP should change their stance on the internet utility bill from "obamacare of the internet" to...
WEAPONS OF m**...
A Women Gets Stung By a Bee on the Gold Course
a man asks, "where did you get stung?" she replies, "between the first and second hole." and the man says, "wow you must have a really wide stance."
I just took a political stance quiz, and found out that I am 52% liberal and 48% conservative.
That's not the only part of me that leans slightly to the left.
What did Senator Craig's Sensei always say to him in class?
"Widen your stance Larry! I want to see a wider stance!"
I was working as groundskeeper on a golf course...
...when a lady came up to me and complained of getting stung by a wasp between the first and second holes.
I told her she needed to close her stance a bit.
Did you hear about the French politician who always changes his stance on issues?
His name is Philippe Philoppe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was the name of the Pope's official stance on i**... marriage during Colonial times?
The m**....
Fun with rhymes.
If plants wore pants would plants try to dance? If plants tried to dance would plants have a chance if plants wore pants and you took a glance? If plants wore pants would they joust with a lance? If plants had a lance would the blow hit or glance? If plants were advanced and wore pants and danced they would be firmly rooted in their anti vegan stance.
Btw I have way too much time on my hands.
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR.
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't Chicago take a hard stance on crime?
Why can't Chicago take a hard stance on crime.... because they have a Lightfoot!
My wife came back from golfing with the ladies, looking miserable
I asked her what was wrong. She said, I got stung by a mad hornet between the first and second holes!
I told her, your stance is too wide.
A man decided to take up golf
so he signed up for lessons with the local pro. The pro showed him the proper stance and grip and swing and then said, Now just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green. The novice teed up and smacked a beauty, straight down the fairway, onto the green, stopping inches from the hole. Now what? the man asked the shocked pro. Uh, you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup. Oh, great! said the beginner in a disgusted tone. Now you tell me!
