Following is our collection of funny Stamp jokes. There are some stamp edition jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stamp food stamp puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
A woman walks into the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
What denomination? asks the shop assistant.
Oh, good heavens. Have we really come to this? says the woman. I guess I'll take 50 Catholic and 50 Anglican.
It said "tips appreciated"
It's a ten cent stamp, but if you wanna lick it, it's a quarter.
Stamp on her foot
The clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, buy this envelope is too heavy. You'll need to put another stamp on it."
"Vaht, and you think adding another stamp vill make it any lighter?"
To put out fires.
Why do elephants have large, flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
The husband was shocked and replied, "How's this possible? You've been married *three* times before!"
The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, *god*, I miss him!"
Because it had been following him around all day
Will have a stamp on their paperwork that shows they made with 33% recycled Joan Rivers.
Take away their credit cards so they can't charge
When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...
You can explore stamp revenues reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stamp tramp stamp dad jokes. There are also stamp puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Stamp
When there's a stamp on it.
At least the elephants you could reason with
postage stamp
He thought it was pretty impressive.
He goes to the young girl who is in charge of border control and she asks after checking the passport
"Good morning, First time in Germany?"
"First time I'm visiting my son who lives here, but I've been here before"
"Weird, your passport doesn't have a stamp on it, How did you arrive last time?"
"T-34, I was the gunner"
It's a Lady and the Tramp stamp.
Makes a change at least, most of his troubles are from briefly entering Jordan.
I heard this from a co-worker today... and well... it made me really think.
A stamp.
The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.
Investigation outcome:
There's nothing wrong with the stamp.
People are spitting on the wrong side.
To stamp out burning fires.
Why do elephants have big feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
A tramp stamp, and it says, "No postage necessary if nailed in the US."
Single people discussing their dating life with married friends is like getting a tramp stamp with a misspelling.
Irreversible, permanent and embarrassing.
Helix it!
Stick with me and we'll go places.
— Did you hear that joke about the letter that didn't have a stamp?
— No.
— Nevermind, you wouldn't get it.
After sometime, reports start to come in that the stamp was not sticking. Infuriated that his own stamps were not working, Trump conducted a $1,300,000 investigation to find out what happened. After eliminating all of the possibilities, they observe the post office to see if the fault was on the consumers end. They soon found out that people were spitting on the wrong side.
A Chinese telephone.
(I'm Chinese and I give this joke the Chinese stamp of approval)
People were too confused about which side to spit on
A Trump stamp.
It up and left.
After polling the public on how the stamp is defective, they figured out nothing was wrong with the stamp at all!
The americans were just not spitting on the right side!
Finally! Shitpost!
I can show you the wooooooorld
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
But in the early focus-group testing, most people were spitting on the wrong side causing the stamp not to stick to the envelopes.
If I'm not completely satisfied, I'm sure their return policy would cover it. Which would technically be an even bigger tattoo saying RETURN POLICY.
USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.
This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.
After months of testing, costing $2.65 billion in congressional spending and firing of 25+ people, the special prosecutor appointed by Trump presented the following findings.
* The stamps have no manufacturing defects.
* There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
* People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.
A cyclops slap.
because it could be mailed with just a stamp
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.
Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Bonus #3: No more elephant jokes.
Because 60 percent of Americans would spit on the front side, and 40 percent would lick the back side.
Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope
It was solely used to RSVP for meetings. The picture resembled a dolphin breaching water. Historians now believe the message was to mean Adolph in.
Stick with me baby, we're going places
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer. He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing." "Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says. "But why?" the bartender asks. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stamp methodically jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stamp femail piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.