Stammered Jokes
15 stammered jokes and hilarious stammered puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stammered that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Stammered Short Jokes
Short stammered jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stammered humour may include short stammers jokes also.
- With trembling hands, my doctor looked up from my x-ray and stammered, "This is exactly what I was afraid of." Gripping my chest, I rasped, "What?" Eyes wide, he whispered, "Skeletons!"
- Serial Killer... The police have caught a serial killer with a really bad stammer.
They said it'll be a while before he finishes his sentence. - A salesman knocked on my door. He asked me if I wanted to buy a Gideon's Bible or I want to listen to him read the book of Psalms.
He was a stammerer. - I stammered over the story of how I got fired from the Pizzeria. I really messed up the delivery.
- A teacher asks a sleeping student to give her an example of a palindrome... The student stammers, looks around the room confused, and says "huh!?"
"Well done!" Replies the teacher. - Michael J Fox recently went to Naples. A bystander noticed him and said to another, "Hey look, that guy's got a stammer!"
- Tiger walks into a bar A tiger walks into a bar and the bartender stammers, "Wwwhy the long face?"
The tiger says, "Sorry, outside food not ok?" - Can you repeat this sentence 3 times without stammering?
3 witches watch 3 Swatch watches; which witch watches which Swatch watches?
Share These Stammered Jokes With Friends
Stammered One Liners
Which stammered one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stammered? I can suggest the ones about stutter and stumbled.
- Don't make fun of people who stammer They're just going through a phrase.
- What's a stammering Fan's favorite food? Foo..Foo t ball
- police have caught a serial killer with a bad stammer...
- What do you call a rapper with a studder? MC Stammer
Rib-Tickling Stammered Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about stammered you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hesitates jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stammered pranks.
A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man stammered, "Yes."
Bang! The robber shoots him.
He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the husband and demands, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The husband quickly responds, "No....but my wife did!"
Tom was not home at his usual hour and his wife was fuming.
Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
Do you realise what time it is?!? she stammered.
He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.
Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked What did you buy for the house, dear?"
Tom answered A round of drinks!"
A 100 year old Japanese man is being interviewed for a newspaper piece about extreme old age
and the reporter asks "do you think there's any merit to the stereotype that people from this village live a lot longer than others?"
The old man thinks for a second and says "you know, I'm not sure. Let me go ask my dad". And the reporter, stunned, stammers "y-your dad? Where is he right now??" and the old man says "I think he's out fishing with my grandpa".
Joseph decides it's time to tell Jesus the truth....
Since Jesus is a teenager, Joseph thinks he can handle it. He tells Jesus that he's not really his father, in a technical sense.
Jesus is incredulous. He can't believe it. He asks who his father really is.
Joseph explains to Jesus that he's the son of god. Jesus can't even comprehend this. He can only manage to stammer out "No way"
Joseph looks at him and says "Yahweh..."
A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?
The robber screams, Don't change the subject!
Caught the flu in Madrid on a business trip.
Whilst sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help.
"Oh, so you're sick!" came the reply. "Not a problem, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away!"
The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stammered out "h...how does the hotel have their own doctor on call?", he simply shook his head and cracked a smile, and replied:
"Nobody expects the Spanish inn physician."
Recently the police were called to the residence of an elderly couple. The Chief radios the station that the wife has shot the husband.
The Sgt. at the station stammers "What? Why?" The Chief calls back "Well, apparently she warned him about walking on her freshly mopped floors one more time..." Sarge is in utter disbelief "Did you go and arrest her??" Chief said not yet. Sarge asked what the h**... he's waiting for. Chief radios back "The floor still isn't dry..."
I caught the flu in Madrid.
While sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realized I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help.
"Oh, so you're sick!" came the reply. "Not a problem, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away!"
The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stammered out "h...how does the hotel have their own doctor on call?", he simply shook his head and cracked a smile, and replied:
"Nobody expects the Spanish inn physician."
Raisin Bread
A baker hires a young female assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and a thong. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the assistant and then at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely. The girl nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man, standing almost directly beneath her, gets an excellent view just as he planned. Once she comes down he says he should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner. As the girl retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see her climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man: "Is it raisin for you, too?" "No," stammers the old man: "but it's quivering a bit!"
