The Best 16 Stallion Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stallion jokes. There are some stallion gallop jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stallion mane puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stallion Jokes and Puns


The god of thunder is riding through the sky on his mighty stallion. With lightning crashing all around, he triumphantly screams, "I'M THOR!" His horse looks up and says, "Of courthe you are, you forgot your thaddle thilly!"

A rich man and a horse

There was a rich man that was driving past a farm, He looked over and saw a beautiful stallion standing in the field. The rich man thought, Wow I gotta have him so he pulled into the farm's entrance. He found the owner and said, "I want that horse out yonder in that field, how much do you want for him?" Well, the farmer said, "He don't look to good." Nonsense said the rich man "I'll pay you $1000 for him." But he don't look to good said the farmer. The rich man sighed and said $2000 dollars is my final offer. The farmer sold the beautiful horse to the rich man. Then one week later the rich man came back angry as ever and said, "Darn you you sold me a blind horse!" Then the farmer smiled and said "I told you, he didn't look too good!"

A preacher rides into a town in the old west...

As he's riding into town, his horse keeps stumbling around the street. The reins are finally grabbed by the Sheriff, who says, "This stallion okay?"

The preacher says, "Yes. We passed through a patch of peyote and he ate some. But that aside, I come to tell you of God's good word, to help you worthless, sinful heathens to-"

The Sheriff shakes his head, struggling to hold the animal still, and says "Now before you go preaching to us, why don't you get off your high horse."

Stallion joke, A preacher rides into a town in the old west...

As a reward for winning a race, a young stallion was put in a compound with a beautiful female zebra.

As the next day dawned, the keeper ran to see how the stallion had made out and was chagrined to see him leaning up against a tree. His mane was disheveled, his body covered in welts from angry hooves, and he had two giant black eyes. Astounded, the keeper asked what had happened.

The stallion said, "I spent the whole night trying to take off her pajamas."

A man goes into a psychiatrist's office

He says, "Doctor, I've been having sexual feeling towards my horse."

The psychiatrist says, "How long have you been having these feelings?"

The man responds, "About three months."

The psychiatrist asks, "Is the horse a stallion or a mare?"

The man says, "A mare! I'm not some kind of pervert."

If a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls, they call him a stallion.

If a stallion sleeps with a bunch of girls, they shut that riding school down.

Young Bill

Young Bill was courting Mabel, from the adjoining cattle ranch.

One evening, as they sat on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the western hills, Bill spied his prized stallion humping one of his mares.

He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the move on Mabel.

He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to do what that stallion is doing."

Mabel whispered back, "Go ahead. She's your mare!"

Stallion joke, Young Bill

A young zebra escapes from the zoo and meets a stallion in a nearby valley

The stallion was fascinated and asked the zebra "where do you come from and what do you do?" the zebra replied "I come from Africa and I just chill with my friends on the plain"
Then the zebra asked the stallion "what are you and what do you do?" and the stallion replied "I'm a stallion, get your pyjamas off and i'll show you"

An Italian stallion was tripping down a old bumpy road.

When a woman drove past. A little while later she thought: " Well, that certainly was Rocky. "

A stallion with a smoking habit kidnaps hookers.

So basically a hoarse horse hoards whores.

I just had a drink called The Pygmy Stallion

I don't know what was in it, but it made my throat a little hoarse.

You can explore stallion horse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stallion donkeys dad jokes. There are also stallion puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I had a date in a restaurant called, "The Deranged Stallion".

It was a freak horse meal.

I used to hide my ex-girlfriend's asthma inhaler...

Because my neighbors thought i was a total stallion. They used to hear her all night... *HUFF PUFF WHEEZE* "GIVE IT TO ME!" *HUFF PUFF WHEEZE* "GIVE IT TO ME!"


You know why you can't teach a stallion philosophy?

Because you can't put Descartes before the horse.

What do you call an impotent stallion?

Mr. ED

I have the heart of a lion, feet of a kangaroo, and the spirit of a wild stallion.

The heart and feet were easy to get, but it took three witch doctors to help me with the last one.

Stallion joke, I have the heart of a lion, feet of a kangaroo, and the spirit of a wild stallion.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stallion racehorse jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stallion steed piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes