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Stalk Jokes

48 stalk jokes and hilarious stalk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stalk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A field of corn is a great place to find the perfect stalk for all your jokes! From ripe corn casseroles to sphinx questions, these corny jokes will keep everyone laughing. Check out our list of the funniest stalk jokes for a guaranteed chuckle!

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Funniest Stalk Short Jokes

Short stalk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stalk humour may include short trap jokes also.

  1. So what are you in to ? \- I stalk people.
    \- Oh really ? Well, I like nature and running.
    \- I know.
  2. "What do you do in your free time? " "I stalk. " "Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"
    "I know.".
  3. My girlfriend has accused me of stalking her. Well, technically she's not my girlfriend yet.
  4. My girlfriend just got mad and accused me of stalking her. Well, she's not actually my girlfriend yet.
  5. I asked my wife to grab 6 asparagus stalks from the garden. She came back with 7. The last one was just a spare, I guess.
  6. Why can't a farmer keep secrets on her farm? Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.
  7. What is the definition of stalking? When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it
  8. I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name. I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night.
  9. Why don't gardeners ever tell secrets during the spring equinox? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beans stalk!
  10. I received a bunch of flowers for valentines day, with the heads cut off I think I was being stalked

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Stalk One Liners

Which stalk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stalk? I can suggest the ones about slug and shoot.

  1. What do you call 1 black guy being stalked by 200 white guys? PGA Tour.
  2. Why was Jack scared? Because Jack was bean stalked
  3. What did the corn say when it was being followed? I'm being stalked!
  4. Hey girl, do you live in a corn field? Because I'm stalking you.
  5. Ladies and Gentlemen, when it comes to stalking, I'm 100% behind you.
  6. Why was the celery arrested? It was accused of stalking.
  7. I think my neighbor is stalking me... I saw her googling my name through my telescope.
  8. The plant markets have been bull lately... The stalks have been going up!
  9. What did the lettuce say to the celery? 'Are you stalking me?'
  10. A french pastry was stalking me this morning I felt really creped out
  11. Why did the corn call the police? Because it got stalked!
  12. What do you call love without evidence? Stalking
  13. I got arrested for tailgating a lorry. Or as the police called it, "stalking my ex".
  14. Why are farmers so wealthy? Because their stalks are always growing.
  15. Why were all the other vegetables afraid of celery? because celery stalks

Corn Stalk Jokes

Here is a list of funny corn stalk jokes and even better corn stalk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An even cornier joke One stalk of corn said to the other stalk of corn, "Hey, can I tell you something?"
    The other stalk of corn said, "I'm all ears."
  • Why do celebrities hate living in Nebraska and Iowa? All the corn stalks there.
  • Snuck up on a corn stalk Pretty easy when they have no ears
  • Two corny jokes Why did the farmer standing in the field call 911?
    He thought he was being stalked.
    Why did the corn go to the doctor?
    It had an ear infection.
  • What does an ear of corn hang on his fireplace during Christmas? A stalk-ing! (A stocking!)
  • What does corn invest in the market? Stalks.....
  • What do you call corn with a sense of humor? Laughing stalk
  • What did the corn stalk say to the other corn stalk? "That outfit makes you look very corny."
Stalk joke, What did the corn stalk say to the other corn stalk?

Silly Stalk Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about stalk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scratch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stalk pranks.

My stalker ex-girlfriend just threatened to kill herself if I didn't take her back.

Isn't it great when problems solve themselves?

What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

My stalker just threatened to kill herself, if I didn't love her back.

It's really nice when problems resolves themselves like that.

I was talking to my friend over the weekend, when he brought up the subject of hobbies....

He asked, "What do you do in your free time".
To which I responded, "I stalk people".
"Oh", he exclaimed, "Really? I enjoy walks in the park or going to movies with friends".
"I know"

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose.

He has a stalk of celery in the other nostril and peas in his ears. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." The doctor says, "Well, you're not eating right."

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.

Even if it's cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And v**...

Someone told me that the best pokemon was the bird that holds a leek stalk

I said 'That's a little farfetch'd'

Jack and the beanstalk

Does everybody know the guy in Jack and The Beanstalk who trades the magic beans for Jacks cow?
Cause I guess you could call him a Stalk Broker

What is a stalkers favorite part of a hospital?

the I see you.

Being stuck inside for a long time due to Covid, my wife started having recurring nightmares about how our house is made of celery.

Doctors think it is stalk home syndrome.

If a stalk brings good babies. A crow brings bad babies. What bird brings no babies?

A s**...

Stalking is when two people are going for a romantic walk together

but only one of them knows about it

You can really tell how much of a stalker someone is...

Just by watching them.

My neighbor's been stalking me

I think my neighbor is stalking me. She searched up my name last night, I saw through her bedroom window. Thank god I have this telescope.

I used to be a stalker

I'm not proud of it, but nowadays people are asking me for tips and tricks on stalking. So here it is:
In order to be a stalker, you need to do the following…

Where did the stalker go when he took multiple gunshot wounds to the abdomen?

The ICU

My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back.

It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.

Cotton the middle of life and death

A stalk of wheat goes in to have a s**...-change operation. After hours and hours in the operating room, one of the surgeons has a slip up with the sickle they are using. Nearly bleeding out, the wheat is stitched up in the nick of time.
A few weeks later, the wheat is recounting the story to its partner, who is a stalk of cotton. They tell them the operation was worth it, and they are lucky to be a sir fiber.

Stalker

I've recently got a stalker. He's everywhere all the time. And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me. So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."

What's a stalkers favourite pokemon?

Pikachu

Stalk joke, What's a stalkers favourite pokemon?