Stalker Jokes
53 stalker jokes and hilarious stalker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stalker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a good laugh? Check out this article to learn more about stalker myths and jokes. From stalker campfire stories to a possible stalker following you to your new roommate, read on to discover the funny side of these tales. Discover the humor in these myths, and have a good laugh.
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Funniest Stalker Short Jokes
Short stalker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stalker humour may include short hacker jokes also.
- My stalker ex-girlfriend just threatened to kill herself if I didn't take her back. Isn't it great when problems solve themselves?
- What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common? They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.
- My ex just called and asked if she can sleep at my place because a stalker has been coming to her house at night. So nice of her to save me the gas money.
- I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers. I nearly fell out of my tree.
- A lot of people are calling me an honest stalker , whatever that means. Not gonna lie, I see where they're coming from.
- My crush is completely paranoid She told me someone was stalking her yesterday when she was going home. I followed her all the way and didn't find any stalker.
- My ex told me she had a stalker I stayed in the bushes for hundreds of hours and still haven't found one
- I'm pretty sure my next door neighbor thinks I'm a stalker. She wrote it on Facebook,Twitter, and in both of her diaries.
- I don't enjoy having a stalker, but I will say . . . No matter what, he always seems to be there for me.
- Overhearing my ex... I once overheard my ex tell her best friend that I was a stalker.
Nearly made me mad enough to come out of her closet
and give her a piece of my mind.
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Stalker One Liners
Which stalker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stalker? I can suggest the ones about predator and burglar.
- My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
- My father was a stalker and his father was a stalker He followed in his footsteps
- My best friend thinks I'm a stalker ...well he's not really my friend....yet.
- What is a stalkers favorite part of a hospital? the I see you.
- Which kind of jokes is a stalker not good at? Knock knock jokes
- Do you have a fear of stalkers? You are not alone.
- You can really tell how much of a stalker someone is... Just by watching them.
- Where did the stalker go when he took multiple gunshot wounds to the abdomen? The ICU
- What do you call bamboo clusters that follow you? Stalkers.
- What's a stalkers favourite pokemon? Pikachu
- What's are stalkers favorite song? Can't Take My Eyes Off of You
- A place where stalkers meet and share their stalking stories.. The Stalk Exchange.
- What makes a talker become a stalker? The s.
- My dad was a stalker. I want to follow him in his footsteps.
- I'm not a stalker, I'm just an unpaid private investigator.
Entertaining Stalker Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about stalker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gangster jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stalker pranks.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUNTER & A STALKER
What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?
ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!
I've always wondered what it was like to have a stalker...
So I guess I'll ask the guy hiding in my closet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a wall st. executive that s**... at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend?
A broke stalker!
Non-sequitur
A non-sequitur doesn't follow; for instance, I once had a really unmotivated stalker.
Why is the window's 10 update similar to a stalker?
.....No matter how many times you deny either, they just keep coming back.
My ex-girlfriend says she has a stalker. I have to say I'm surprised.
In all the time I've spent hanging around her house, hiding in the bushes, watching her come and go...I've never seen any signs of a stalker.
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker
At least that's what I think she wrote in her diary... binoculars are hard to read through
A crazy girl just called me a stalker and then blocked me
I don't know what her deal is but I'm about to ring her doorbell and find out
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I say I'm s**... curious.
The police say I'm a stalker.
Stalker
I've recently got a stalker. He's everywhere all the time. And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me. So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."
Why is 7 a stalker to 6?
Because it comes after 6.
Why is Ash your stalker?
Because no matter where he goes he always takes a pikachu.
My girlfriend is so paranoid.
She keeps calling the police and saying I'm some random stalker.
What the difference between your wife and your stalker?
Your stalker would likely put out regularly.
I prefer to think of myself as a "Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer" because it has just the right amount of flair.
Besides, "stalker" is such an ugly word.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a stalker.
A family member who's moved into our house this year. He follows me into my bedroom and the bathroom. He always sneaks into my bed or under it when I'm half asleep. And worse, he gets so close to me when I'm trying to eat, watching me take every bite. Worse, he has a terrifying habit of l**... my things, and in my sleep, my skin. It freaks me out how little space and privacy I have when in my own home under the fear that he's always watching me.
I knew I should've gotten a cat instead of a dog...
I used to be a stalker
I'm not proud of it, but nowadays people are asking me for tips and tricks on stalking. So here it is:
In order to be a stalker, you need to do the following…
Prayers before going on a blind date
Woman : oh god, I just hope he is not a serial killer,psychopath,needy, incel, stalker, poor,balding, ...
Man : god , don't let her be fat..
Someone keeps sending me flowers with no petals on in the mail…
I think I've got a stalker
