The Best 48 Stalker Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stalker jokes. There are some stalker pursuit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stalker friend puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Stalker Jokes and Puns


What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

What is a stalkers favorite part of a hospital?

the I see you.

I've always wondered what it was like to have a stalker...

So I guess I'll ask the guy hiding in my closet.

What do you call a wall st. executive that sucks at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend?

A broke stalker!

jokes about stalker


A non-sequitur doesn't follow; for instance, I once had a really unmotivated stalker.

I never thought

that celery was such a stalker..

What makes a talker become a stalker?

The s.

Stalker joke, What makes a talker become a stalker?

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker.

Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Why is the window's 10 update similar to a stalker?

.....No matter how many times you deny either, they just keep coming back.

My best friend thinks I'm a stalker

...well he's not really my friend....yet.

My ex-girlfriend says she has a stalker. I have to say I'm surprised.

In all the time I've spent hanging around her house, hiding in the bushes, watching her come and go...I've never seen any signs of a stalker.

You can explore stalker roommate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stalker mango dad jokes. There are also stalker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I'm pretty sure my next door neighbor thinks I'm a stalker.

She wrote it on Facebook,Twitter, and in both of her diaries.

where is a stalker always trying to get to?

the pee pole.

What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

How does a stalker go on a diet?

Weight Watchers.

What's a stalkers favourite pokemon?


Stalker joke, What's a stalkers favourite pokemon?

My ex told me she had a stalker

I stayed in the bushes for hundreds of hours and still haven't found one

A lot of people are calling me an honest stalker , whatever that means.

Not gonna lie, I see where they're coming from.

My crush is completely paranoid

She told me someone was stalking her yesterday when she was going home. I followed her all the way and didn't find any stalker.

My new Girl Friend thinks I am a Stalker.

Well she's not my Girlfriend just yet.

My stalker ex-girlfriend just threatened to kill herself if I didn't take her back.

Isn't it great when problems solve themselves?

My girlfriend says she thinks I'm a stalker

Well... She doesn't know she's my girlfriend yet.

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker

At least that's what I think she wrote in her diary... binoculars are hard to read through

I don't enjoy having a stalker, but I will say . . .

No matter what, he always seems to be there for me.

A crazy girl just called me a stalker and then blocked me

I don't know what her deal is but I'm about to ring her doorbell and find out

My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back.

It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.

Stalker joke, My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back.

Where did the stalker go when he took multiple gunshot wounds to the abdomen?


I say I'm sexually curious.

The police say I'm a stalker.


I've recently got a stalker. He's everywhere all the time. And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me. So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."

Why is 7 a stalker to 6?

Because it comes after 6.

Why is Ash your stalker?

Because no matter where he goes he always takes a pikachu.

My girlfriend is so paranoid.

She keeps calling the police and saying I'm some random stalker.

What the difference between your wife and your stalker?

Your stalker would likely put out regularly.

I prefer to think of myself as a "Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer" because it has just the right amount of flair.

Besides, "stalker" is such an ugly word.

Overhearing my ex...

I once overheard my ex tell her best friend that I was a stalker.
Nearly made me mad enough to come out of her closet
and give her a piece of my mind.

My girlfriend calls me a stalker.

Well, she isn't my girlfriend yet.

What's are stalkers favorite song?

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Xi's like the creepy stalker ex to every Chinese.

When you make comments on him, cross your fingers not to be found.

Which kind of jokes is a stalker not good at?

Knock knock jokes

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker!

Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend...



My girlfriend thinks she has a stalker. Well she isn't my girlfriend yet.

My ex just called and asked if she can sleep at my place because a stalker has been coming to her house at night.

So nice of her to save me the gas money.

My father was a stalker and his father was a stalker

He followed in his footsteps

I used to be a stalker

I'm not proud of it, but nowadays people are asking me for tips and tricks on stalking. So here it is:
In order to be a stalker, you need to do the following…

My stalker just threatened to kill herself, if I didn't love her back.

It's really nice when problems resolves themselves like that.

Prayers before going on a blind date

Woman : oh god, I just hope he is not a serial killer,psychopath,needy, incel, stalker, poor,balding, ...

Man : god , don't let her be fat..

You can really tell how much of a stalker someone is...

Just by watching them.

Someone keeps sending me flowers with no petals on in the mail…

I think I've got a stalker

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stalker khoisan puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stalker sniper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes